I found this interesting article, written by a Christian man, that advance the concept the egalitarian marriages are not only happier, but have a much lower divorce rate than traditional marriages.
Some excerpts:
"Not understanding what biblical submission really means brings great pain and suffering to Christian relationships, marriages and to women in particular.
Churches have ample reasons to encourage marriages based on equality. These marriages benefit all family members and the body of Christ. Promoting healthy relationships and eliminating unhealthy attitudes about marriages should be a top priority. But what do healthy marriage relationships look like? Where do we find the answer? Marriage is defined from two divergent theological viewpoints.
Defining Marriage Relationships: Egalitarian vs. Traditional
The New Dictionary of Christian Ethics and Pastoral Theology defines marriage as a co-partnership of equality where "neither may lord it over the other."[11] This represents an egalitarian view of marriage. Egalitarian marriages are described as mutual partnerships without forced roles, and characterized by a high degree of intimacy. In contrast, a traditional hierarchical view of marriage has distinct roles with the husband on top in authority over the wife.
Traditionalists claim their view "should find an echo in every human heart."[12] The root problem in marriage, they say, "is the unwillingness of each to accept the role for which he or she was designed."[13] If these traditionalists’ statement were true, then marriages based on hierarchical relationships should be the happiest and most intimate of all marriages and have the lowest divorce rate. Yet born-again evangelical Christians have the highest divorce rate.
Both views of marriage have been argued by scholars from a biblical prospective for years and this debate will probably continue into the future. However, the relevant and immediate issue for the church and the parties involved is recognizing which relationship results in a happier, healthier, more intimate, meaningful long term, and permanent marriage. Isn't this what God really desires for our lives? What's missing? Discovering this key represents both a challenge and an opportunity for the church. Churches will need to move outside their comfort zone, examine the evidence, and implement change."
Drs. Alan Booth and Paul Amato, Penn State sociologists and demographers agree that egalitarian marriages are happier. They interviewed and followed the lives of two thousand men and women and some of their children over a 20 year period between 1980 and 2000. The subject individuals were personally contacted six times each year during the twenty year study. In the year 2000, at the conclusion of their twenty year study, the research team interviewed an entirely new random sample of 2,100 married couples. Amato explains, "So we can look at two different kinds of changes: how individual marriages change over time, and how the population of married couples has changed between 1980 and 2000." Dr. Amato makes this conclusion: Equality is good for a marriage. It's good for both husbands and wives. If the wife goes from a patriarchal marriage to an egalitarian one, she'll be much happier, much less likely to look for a way out. And in the long run, the husbands are happier too. While some traditionalists may argue that working wives cause divorce, Dr. Booth refutes this notion. Based on the results of this long study he says emphatically that "women working does not cause divorce."[16]
Dr. David H. Olson, Professor Emeritus, Family Social Science, University of Minnesota, compiled a national survey based on 21,501 married couples using a comprehensive marital assessment tool called ENRICH. This national survey, published in the year 2000, represents one of the largest and most comprehensive analyses of martial strengths and stumbling blocks. Couples were asked to complete 30 background questions and 165 specific questions that focused on 20 significant marital issues. This survey identified the top ten strengths of happy marriages and the top ten stumbling blocks for married couples. This data is summarized in the attached Appendix. Using these top ten strengths, it is possible to discriminate between happy and unhappy marriages with 93% accuracy.
A significant discovery was made in relation to marital satisfaction and role relationships. It discovered that (81%) of equalitarian (egalitarian) couples were happily married, while (82%) of couples where both spouses perceived their relationship as traditional (hierarchical) were mainly unhappy.[17]
This means that only 18% of traditional marriages were reported as happy. In relation to intimacy 98% of happy couples feel very close to each other, while only 27% of unhappy couples felt the same. The inability to share leadership equally (couple inflexibility) was the top stumbling block to a happy marriage.
Drs. David H. Olson and Shuji G. Asai of the University of Minnesota, published a survey on spouse abuse in 2003. This study examined spousal abuse dynamics using data from a national sample of 20,951 married couples that took the ENRICH couple inventory during 1998-1999. A clear association was found between the marital health of the couples and the level of abuse. For example, vitalized couples, that is, couples with the highest level of satisfaction, had the lowest incidence of abuse at 5%.
Traditional couple types experienced spousal abuse in 21% of marriages, a rate more than four times higher than in vitalized marriages.[18] This study confirms what has been known by many marriage and family therapy professionals. That higher marital abuse exists in traditional marriages in comparison to equal or egalitarian marriages.
Dr. Diana R. Garland, Professor and Chair of the School of Social Work and Director of the Center for Family and Community Ministries at Baylor University, discusses marriage relationships in her book, Family Ministry: A Comprehensive Guide. She points out that research conducted in the mid-twentieth century revealed the following:
Drs. Pepper Schwartz and Philip Blumstein, University of Washington sociologists published the results of a decade long research study in 1983. Their extensive survey of 15,000 American couples revealed that "equality and shared power" significantly contributed to happiness and was the reason couples chose to stay married. Conversely, "the inequality experienced by women was a primary cause of unhappiness leading to the break up of marriages."[20]
Ashton Applewhite, author of Cutting Loose: Why Women Who End Their Marriages Do So Well addresses the personal and sociopolitical aspects of marriage. Citing a 1995 survey of 4,000 women, she notes that women in egalitarian marriages are by far the happiest. Stephanie von Hirschberg senior editor of the New Woman Survey writes that shared power and responsibility "seems to be crucial to a woman's happiness in marriage."[21]
Summary of Empirical Marriage Data
Extensive studies and research have been performed by marriage and family professionals, sociologists, and demographers. Over the last 50 years these studies reveal that significant numbers of egalitarian marriages are happy in comparison to traditional hierarchical marriages. A recent study quantified these results revealing that over 80% of egalitarian marriages are happy while less than 20% of traditional marriages can say the same. That represents over a 4:1 ratio in favor of egalitarian marriages. Spousal abuse continues to be more than 300 percent higher in traditional marriages than in egalitarian marriages.
These research studies accomplish the following: First, they effectively discredit any traditionalists’ notion that dismantling hierarchy destabilizes marriage and that the root problem in marriage is the unwillingness of each spouse to accept the role for which he or she was designed. Second, they prove that hierarchy actually destabilizes and harms marriages. Third, they provide objective data that egalitarian marriages produce the healthiest, happiest, most intimate, and stable of all marriage relationships with the least amount of spousal abuse.
A Fresh Perspective on Submission and Authority
As these research studies and surveys consistently indicate, the primary problem in marital happiness centers around equality, shared power, and leadership issues. Additionally, the divorce statistics, as Barna points out, question the notion that churches properly support or effectively minister to married couples. These issues should force us to reexamine our understanding of certain long held beliefs about marriage. These beliefs relate directly to the biblical concepts of submission and authority in general and in marriages in particular. Misconceptions about these subjects are harmful to the body of Christ and to marital relationships.
The rest of the article goes into the Biblical exegesis and it is worth the read. References are at the end of the article.
Support for Egalitarian Marriage
Implications for Church and Society
Dr. Clinebell notes that in our educational process children need to be raised free of sexism.[40] This should be a goal for all churches as well. Churches need to realize that healthy marriages do not happen in a vacuum. Developing healthy relationships is dependent on having a proper attitude and respect for members of the opposite sex. This process begins at an early age. Churches can implement educational and participatory opportunities where members are able to develop free from class, gender, or racial prejudices. These principles benefit everyone: those who marry and those who remain single.
Concluding Remarks
What a great injustice and tragedy that so many Christian marriages end in divorce and many who remain together live in unhappy marriages. Numerous reasons are offered: some blame "no fault" divorce, economics, and stress from living and coping in a materialistic society. People point fingers at something or someone else. Yet the root cause is always sin and deception.
Churches can become a motivating force for change. They have a responsibility to promote healthy marital relationships. Strong and healthy marriages are built on loving and equal relationships. Marriage relationships grow best and flourish within the context of egalitarian ideals. Extensive empirical data has demonstrated this reality. Theologians may continue to debate this reality, but the people have already spoken. Christians should hear what the Holy Spirit is saying and live in the full redemptive life of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord.
Some excerpts:
"Not understanding what biblical submission really means brings great pain and suffering to Christian relationships, marriages and to women in particular.
Churches have ample reasons to encourage marriages based on equality. These marriages benefit all family members and the body of Christ. Promoting healthy relationships and eliminating unhealthy attitudes about marriages should be a top priority. But what do healthy marriage relationships look like? Where do we find the answer? Marriage is defined from two divergent theological viewpoints.
Defining Marriage Relationships: Egalitarian vs. Traditional
The New Dictionary of Christian Ethics and Pastoral Theology defines marriage as a co-partnership of equality where "neither may lord it over the other."[11] This represents an egalitarian view of marriage. Egalitarian marriages are described as mutual partnerships without forced roles, and characterized by a high degree of intimacy. In contrast, a traditional hierarchical view of marriage has distinct roles with the husband on top in authority over the wife.
Traditionalists claim their view "should find an echo in every human heart."[12] The root problem in marriage, they say, "is the unwillingness of each to accept the role for which he or she was designed."[13] If these traditionalists’ statement were true, then marriages based on hierarchical relationships should be the happiest and most intimate of all marriages and have the lowest divorce rate. Yet born-again evangelical Christians have the highest divorce rate.
Both views of marriage have been argued by scholars from a biblical prospective for years and this debate will probably continue into the future. However, the relevant and immediate issue for the church and the parties involved is recognizing which relationship results in a happier, healthier, more intimate, meaningful long term, and permanent marriage. Isn't this what God really desires for our lives? What's missing? Discovering this key represents both a challenge and an opportunity for the church. Churches will need to move outside their comfort zone, examine the evidence, and implement change."
Drs. Alan Booth and Paul Amato, Penn State sociologists and demographers agree that egalitarian marriages are happier. They interviewed and followed the lives of two thousand men and women and some of their children over a 20 year period between 1980 and 2000. The subject individuals were personally contacted six times each year during the twenty year study. In the year 2000, at the conclusion of their twenty year study, the research team interviewed an entirely new random sample of 2,100 married couples. Amato explains, "So we can look at two different kinds of changes: how individual marriages change over time, and how the population of married couples has changed between 1980 and 2000." Dr. Amato makes this conclusion: Equality is good for a marriage. It's good for both husbands and wives. If the wife goes from a patriarchal marriage to an egalitarian one, she'll be much happier, much less likely to look for a way out. And in the long run, the husbands are happier too. While some traditionalists may argue that working wives cause divorce, Dr. Booth refutes this notion. Based on the results of this long study he says emphatically that "women working does not cause divorce."[16]
Dr. David H. Olson, Professor Emeritus, Family Social Science, University of Minnesota, compiled a national survey based on 21,501 married couples using a comprehensive marital assessment tool called ENRICH. This national survey, published in the year 2000, represents one of the largest and most comprehensive analyses of martial strengths and stumbling blocks. Couples were asked to complete 30 background questions and 165 specific questions that focused on 20 significant marital issues. This survey identified the top ten strengths of happy marriages and the top ten stumbling blocks for married couples. This data is summarized in the attached Appendix. Using these top ten strengths, it is possible to discriminate between happy and unhappy marriages with 93% accuracy.
A significant discovery was made in relation to marital satisfaction and role relationships. It discovered that (81%) of equalitarian (egalitarian) couples were happily married, while (82%) of couples where both spouses perceived their relationship as traditional (hierarchical) were mainly unhappy.[17]
This means that only 18% of traditional marriages were reported as happy. In relation to intimacy 98% of happy couples feel very close to each other, while only 27% of unhappy couples felt the same. The inability to share leadership equally (couple inflexibility) was the top stumbling block to a happy marriage.
Drs. David H. Olson and Shuji G. Asai of the University of Minnesota, published a survey on spouse abuse in 2003. This study examined spousal abuse dynamics using data from a national sample of 20,951 married couples that took the ENRICH couple inventory during 1998-1999. A clear association was found between the marital health of the couples and the level of abuse. For example, vitalized couples, that is, couples with the highest level of satisfaction, had the lowest incidence of abuse at 5%.
Traditional couple types experienced spousal abuse in 21% of marriages, a rate more than four times higher than in vitalized marriages.[18] This study confirms what has been known by many marriage and family therapy professionals. That higher marital abuse exists in traditional marriages in comparison to equal or egalitarian marriages.
Dr. Diana R. Garland, Professor and Chair of the School of Social Work and Director of the Center for Family and Community Ministries at Baylor University, discusses marriage relationships in her book, Family Ministry: A Comprehensive Guide. She points out that research conducted in the mid-twentieth century revealed the following:
Wives, in traditional marriages, suffered significantly more depression and other mental disorders than men, working married women and unmarried women (Bernard 1982).
In traditional marriages, wives had been beaten at "a rate of more than 300 percent higher than for egalitarian marriages (Straus, Gelles and Steinmetz 1980)."
Violence is more likely to occur in homes where the husband has all the power and makes all the decisions than in home where spouses share decision making (L. Walker 1979).
Garland cites numerous research studies since the 1950s that have "consistently revealed that egalitarian couples have more satisfying marriages than traditional marriages (Bean, Curtis and Marcum 1977; Blood and Wolfe 1960; Centers, Raven and Rodrigues 1971; Locke and Karlsson 1952; Michel 1967)."[19] In traditional marriages, wives had been beaten at "a rate of more than 300 percent higher than for egalitarian marriages (Straus, Gelles and Steinmetz 1980)."
Violence is more likely to occur in homes where the husband has all the power and makes all the decisions than in home where spouses share decision making (L. Walker 1979).
Drs. Pepper Schwartz and Philip Blumstein, University of Washington sociologists published the results of a decade long research study in 1983. Their extensive survey of 15,000 American couples revealed that "equality and shared power" significantly contributed to happiness and was the reason couples chose to stay married. Conversely, "the inequality experienced by women was a primary cause of unhappiness leading to the break up of marriages."[20]
Ashton Applewhite, author of Cutting Loose: Why Women Who End Their Marriages Do So Well addresses the personal and sociopolitical aspects of marriage. Citing a 1995 survey of 4,000 women, she notes that women in egalitarian marriages are by far the happiest. Stephanie von Hirschberg senior editor of the New Woman Survey writes that shared power and responsibility "seems to be crucial to a woman's happiness in marriage."[21]
Summary of Empirical Marriage Data
Extensive studies and research have been performed by marriage and family professionals, sociologists, and demographers. Over the last 50 years these studies reveal that significant numbers of egalitarian marriages are happy in comparison to traditional hierarchical marriages. A recent study quantified these results revealing that over 80% of egalitarian marriages are happy while less than 20% of traditional marriages can say the same. That represents over a 4:1 ratio in favor of egalitarian marriages. Spousal abuse continues to be more than 300 percent higher in traditional marriages than in egalitarian marriages.
These research studies accomplish the following: First, they effectively discredit any traditionalists’ notion that dismantling hierarchy destabilizes marriage and that the root problem in marriage is the unwillingness of each spouse to accept the role for which he or she was designed. Second, they prove that hierarchy actually destabilizes and harms marriages. Third, they provide objective data that egalitarian marriages produce the healthiest, happiest, most intimate, and stable of all marriage relationships with the least amount of spousal abuse.
A Fresh Perspective on Submission and Authority
As these research studies and surveys consistently indicate, the primary problem in marital happiness centers around equality, shared power, and leadership issues. Additionally, the divorce statistics, as Barna points out, question the notion that churches properly support or effectively minister to married couples. These issues should force us to reexamine our understanding of certain long held beliefs about marriage. These beliefs relate directly to the biblical concepts of submission and authority in general and in marriages in particular. Misconceptions about these subjects are harmful to the body of Christ and to marital relationships.
The rest of the article goes into the Biblical exegesis and it is worth the read. References are at the end of the article.
Support for Egalitarian Marriage
Implications for Church and Society
Dr. Clinebell notes that in our educational process children need to be raised free of sexism.[40] This should be a goal for all churches as well. Churches need to realize that healthy marriages do not happen in a vacuum. Developing healthy relationships is dependent on having a proper attitude and respect for members of the opposite sex. This process begins at an early age. Churches can implement educational and participatory opportunities where members are able to develop free from class, gender, or racial prejudices. These principles benefit everyone: those who marry and those who remain single.
Concluding Remarks
What a great injustice and tragedy that so many Christian marriages end in divorce and many who remain together live in unhappy marriages. Numerous reasons are offered: some blame "no fault" divorce, economics, and stress from living and coping in a materialistic society. People point fingers at something or someone else. Yet the root cause is always sin and deception.
Churches can become a motivating force for change. They have a responsibility to promote healthy marital relationships. Strong and healthy marriages are built on loving and equal relationships. Marriage relationships grow best and flourish within the context of egalitarian ideals. Extensive empirical data has demonstrated this reality. Theologians may continue to debate this reality, but the people have already spoken. Christians should hear what the Holy Spirit is saying and live in the full redemptive life of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord.
