suicide

[T9Newport]

Do you thing that some Christians are predetermined to commit suicide? If so or if they do will they be forgiven? Is it a one way ticket to hell? I'm suffering in my marriage, I work 3 jobs, my wife works one full time. We have 3 wonderful boys, 12, 11, 10. I'm doing almost all the house chores, along with shopping, and meals. I'm very affectionate towards my wife and praise and up lift her daily. I'm always telling her she is beautiful and that I love her dearly. I receive very little attention or affection in return. I feel so unappreciated. I receive no praise for all the help I do to keep this family functioning. We have been married 12 years and I love her more today than the first. She seems to not care any more, and her untreated bi-polar doesn't help. I feel like that the best option for me is to leave this world and go home to my father in heaven. I have been praying for the Lord to take me home yet I'm still here. I've been praying for him to touch her heart and mind and heal our marriage, yet it goes unanswered. So basically if I so choose to to leave this world, will I still make it home, or will I be damned to hell?
Thank you for your answers!
John

 

[yac11]

Answer: I believe that you would go to hell. I am sorry for your pain. I understand your pain. I have your pain and have gone there thinking about how easy it would be to just die.

I got saved on 9-6-2011. I remember the day and when I reflect on that day I can't help but cry on how awesome it was. Since God lives in me and my body his his temple, I would never take my own life nor ask someone to do it. I love Jesus and when I reflect on my path, I now see my entire life was mapped out. I see that God has taken care of me from the beginning. I could never do anything to disrespect this body he lives in.

Life is hard and I have been married a long long time. I went to bed last night and had to repent for my mouth. The words that came out of my mouth towards my husband were bad. I remember thinking..."wow did I do that"? Is that what they say is Satan's attack on me so I am not responsible. Then I looked up and said God, I take full responsibility for my actions. I do not believe Satan made me, I chose to be a ***** for which I am truly sorry to you and to my husband. Years of anger which I thought were forgiven are still eating at me anytime he makes a wrong move.

When my husband said he was going to put pictures up on the walls of Satan that is what woke me up. I realized that I have all this love for God and I am so mad my marriage isn't what I signed up for and he doesn't want to change. I also feel unappreciated and my husband has several of his own major issues. One of them being everytime I talk about God he pulls away(not a health issue) That's probably why the Satan remark.

So...forget about suicide. Keep moving forward and do your best for Jesus. Always for Jesus. My husband opened his door last night and though I don't remember the exact words, he was sorry for his part. We are working on our troubled marriage still. I sometimes wonder if my husband had bi-polar as well. But he won't even get diagnosed for anything. He won't go to the doctor.

But God has my back and I pray for my husband and it's when I change my heart and pray for him, I see glimpses of the man I want. So I am not giving up.

God Bless you

 

[hope36523]

I am not sure but i would not want risk it,think about it if your wife got help with her bi-polar she could function to help you more,and what would your kids think if you killed your self who would take care of them.god loves you your kids need you your wife would probly loose them cause of the bi-polar they end up in foster care

 

[T9Newport]

Thank you for your reply. I'm struggling with this choice I'm about to make. I just don't understand how I can follow what GOD says to do in marriage and my Christian wife can be so indifferent to me and put me last in all things. Don't get me wrong I know that being a follower of Christ doesn't mean an easy life, I just can't understand what is happening, and why I have no strength anymore. She says she loves me, but without any actions to support what she says it is hard to believe. I'm by no means thinking about this to make her change how she treats me or to teach her a lesson. I understand that she feels unworthy of my love and even the love of Christ and our children, But how can she be so blind to the love and and support our children and myself give her, I'm trying so hard to show her that I love her like Christ loved the church. If I have to sacrifice myself for I will. I feel that this may be my only choice at this point. Sorry if this isn't the right place for this but I'm desperate for advice as there is no knot to hold on to at the end of this rope and my hands are getting weak.
Thank you

 

[RickShafer]

Listen, suicide straight to hell in your case.
Why? Because you know better. You would be murdering yourself.
That would be your last act. To murder.
To leave your children with that scar.
You need to find a place of worship that will minister to your whole family.
You need help.
You need a lifeline to the Holy Spirit.
You need a covering.
You need a church family that will minister to your needs.
Try small. Go to a small church. Find one that fills your heart with joy in the worship.
Try Pentecostal or Full Gospel, or charismatic.
Remember,.....a small one so you can be ministered to one on one.
When I say one on one I mean your whole family one on one. - (The small churches will do that)

C'mon brother! God knows your need! He's not going to leave you out in the dark!

 

[T9Newport]

Maybe I'm being selfish, I just want her to see the pain I'm in, to see on the outside just how bad I'm hurting on the inside. Thank you all for helping me get this off my chest, your words of encouragement is helping. Please pray for Gods guidance in this and that I'll make the right choice. I know I shouldn't do it, but it just seems as if there is no other choice. If the Holy Spirit would just fill my broken heart with reassurance, love, and guide me. I'm never been scared of much in this world, but right now I'm really scared.
Thank you all

 

[yac11]

Your not selfish, your hurting. We have all been or currently are in pain. You need to remember that though your wife and family are so very precious to you and that you need love and her loving touch, all you really need is the love of Christ. God will love more than any human being on this earth. God will never forsake you.

Father,

I am scared for this man T9Newport. I am afraid that he is allowing the distance of his wife to mar his judgement on what truly is the most important life issue, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He needs only to concern himself with that. He forgets that he is to Love his God over All. That you are his best friend and confident and that you want him to look up. That the more he looks up for guidance the more Love you are ready to pour on him. Father, please wake him up so he can move forward to know that you have a purpose for him. That you gave him the gift of children and he is to step up even in his pain. That you love to give rewards for our hardships and there are many to be given to him if he can just trust in you Father. In Jesus Name please give him the Peace that Surpasses All Understanding. God Bless

 

[T9Newport]

Your not selfish, your hurting. We have all been or currently are in pain. You need to remember that though your wife and family are so very precious to you and that you need love and her loving touch, all you really need is the love of Christ. God will love more than any human being on this earth. God will never forsake you.

Father,

I am scared for this man T9Newport. I am afraid that he is allowing the distance of his wife to mar his judgement on what truly is the most important life issue, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He needs only to concern himself with that. He forgets that he is to Love his God over All. That you are his best friend and confident and that you want him to look up. That the more he looks up for guidance the more Love you are ready to pour on him. Father, please wake him up so he can move forward to know that you have a purpose for him. That you gave him the gift of children and he is to step up even in his pain. That you love to give rewards for our hardships and there are many to be given to him if he can just trust in you Father. In Jesus Name please give him the Peace that Surpasses All Understanding. God Bless

Thank you so much!

 

[yac11]

Your welcome, and love your brother, you can do it.

 

[danschance]

Maybe I'm being selfish, I just want her to see the pain I'm in, to see on the outside just how bad I'm hurting on the inside. Thank you all for helping me get this off my chest, your words of encouragement is helping. Please pray for Gods guidance in this and that I'll make the right choice. I know I shouldn't do it, but it just seems as if there is no other choice. If the Holy Spirit would just fill my broken heart with reassurance, love, and guide me. I'm never been scared of much in this world, but right now I'm really scared.
Thank you all

Sorry you are hurting. I think we all can relate.

In my mid 20's my wife left me and eventually filed for divorce. I was very depressed and hoped things would work out, but they never did. I was feeling hurt and depressed for a long time. Then on a beautiful spring morning, as I parked my car and walked toward the building I worked in I felt at peace and decided to kill myself. I started to plan it all out. I planned to use my friends 1911 .45 pistol. I planned to blow my brains out in his garage to help contain the mess.

Then I suddenly became afraid at how calmly and calmly I had planned this. I knew then that before I had only thought about killing myself but now I was getting really close to actually doing it. There was a psychologist at work and I met with her and told I felt I was very close to killing myself. She refereed me to a another psychologist. The first thing he told me after he got all the details about me was, "This doesn't fit the normal pattern of depression. Most do get depressed during a divorce but they get better. You are actually getting worse". He then said he would only see if I go to my doctor and ask for a medical work up on my depression being caused by something medical. I reluctantly went to my Doctor and he ran some test. Two weeks later my doctor told me my thyroid was not working and it is the cause of my depression.

Maybe you should do what I had done and at least see a psychologist for help. I think you owe that to your kids.

I also want to chime in with Rick. If you kill yourself, don't be a bit surprised to find yourself in far worse circumstances. I believe most who kill themselves go straight to hell because they die in a faithless sin filled condition they never had time to repent for.

 

[KBond]

God loves you and wants you to feel His love. He lavishes His love upon you...completely drenching your whole being. His eye is upon you. May God increase the joy in your heart and give you peace that is available through Christ.

 

[David_1]

Your boys need a father!!

As a 37 year old man, I still need my father, even though he is somewhat distant.

Your family has need of you until the day you die (at a very old age).

 

[Lucy68]

Satan can't attack God, so he attacks us instead. If he can get you to believe a lie then he has won. Don't believe the lie! .... that you are worthless and useless and everybody will be better off with you dead.

This desperation you're feeling is your inner self screaming for help....go get help. Do you have a pastor that you can talk to? Or another mature Christian? If possible, get your wife to go with you to marriage counseling.

You really should talk to her honestly and openly....tell her your struggles with feeling unloved, unappreciated,etc. She may be unresponsive at first, but as it sinks in, hopefully she'll realize that you need affirmation too. Sometimes we wives think our husbands just don't need to be thanked, or need verbal appreciation. Maybe she's just mainly thoughtless. But that CAN change, if you make it known to her that you need to hear it. And that the household chores are too much for you to do alone.

People who commit suicide are people that absolutely cannot see any hope. That isn't you . As a Christian, we ALWAYS have hope for a better tomorrow...here on earth. Things change.

Especially think about your children....they NEED YOU!

Do you attend church? Associating with a group of Christians is INCREDIBLY uplifting and affirming. Praising, worshiping and hearing sermons really does motivate us and reassure us that our God loves us more than we can imagine and wants the best for us.

Praying for you....peace, calmness, guidance, and wisdom as you go through this valley. Take your pain directly to Christ and He will help your heart to heal and show you out of this dark place.

 

[woka]

The pain is so unbearable that nobody can imagine, the lack of understanding is unimaginable, the pain of feeling unfilfilled desperatley outweights the thought of staying around to figure it out. When you look you see that there is nothing, nothing will change, maybe if I decide to hang in there today will it change tomorrow. Everybody is so encouraging and say they understand, but do they really?

If they were in my shoes they probarbly would of made this decision long ago. What makes me see another day through, when there is such hoplessness?

I truly say that I cannot imagine the pain, I have not lived your life, the absolute desperation that you feel, is in a place nobody can understand, and if we said we did we would not be telling the truth.

There truly is only one person who understand and that is our heavenly Father, when He died for you 2000 years ago, it was for this very exact moment, it was for this very exact feeling, it was for this very exact time when you feel like there are no rational thoughts that could surpass these feelings.

He is your comfort, He is your provider, He is you shelter, He is your rock. He loves you with total completness and died for just that reason.

He is the way for the hopless, not your wife, not your children.

Please email me, so we can talk.

Veronica

 

[colalella2891]

I personally don't think christians who commit suicide go to Hell. If they were never saved, then yes they would. But saved people who commit suicide don't go to Hell. At least I don't think so.

However, it would still be a very wrong choice to make. Think of your kids, you would hurt them more than you've ever hurt them before by leaving them. Kids need a father figure in their lives. Your kids need you bro. And just to be clear, i'm not calling you selfish or anything like that. It's completely understandable the way you're feeling. I feel that way sometimes.

Your life has meaning though bro, and if you're still here then that means God still needs you here. So please just hang in there (for you, your family, and God) and keep praying.

God bless.

 

[answers]

You are exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated, malnourished (emotionally, mentally, and possibly religiously?), discontented, and drained.

Who could feel differently in your shoes, right? YOU CAN! Thank you Jesus!!!!!!

You are blessed! God gifted you three future men. Those three are learning whether it is announced, acknowledged, or screamed off roof tops. They are learning so much. For example:

How to trust in the WORD of GOD
How to live with FAITH
How to walk in God's WILL
How to be patient
How to serve willingly without expecting
How to LOVE, with more than words
How to provide
How to help those in need
How to manage
How to express
How to give
How to receive
How to listen
How to be heard

The list just keeps going, because you are NOT INVISIBLE. You are in ALL of who they are and ALL they do and ALL they are going to be. God TRUSTS you with these three future men, to raise and mold and invest and love. You are blessed.

Your wife is a sinner too, she may and most likely notices everything but does not think to acknowledge. That does NOT mean she does not appreciate. As far as, the untreated medical diagnosis, she needs to get the appropriate help for that. KILLING yourself will not accomplish that.

You have a BIG purpose here on earth. God loves you and trusts you. We all love you too! You are my brother, and as a sister I am telling you to NOT be foolish. Walk the path our father is giving you, we are all right beside you. Take care of yourself and family. May God SCREAM into you and your family how much he sees, hears, loves, and how patient he is being.

 

[T9Newport]

I've decided to hang in there and keep on trusting GOD to see me through this, all of you have been a great help, so glad I found this place and all of you!
Thank you and GOD bless

 

[jb]

Hi John:

Just thought I would write a few points in reply to your OP

1) In reading some of the replys I was struck at the hard heartedness (or maybe it is just ignorance upon the part of those replying of the character of God) of a number of them saying that you would go straight to Hell if you committed suicide...

God is FULL of embracing compasionate LOVE, for He IS LOVE, indeed, His first Name is LOVE!

Exodus 34v5,6 states:

"...proclaimed the name of the Lord. And the Lord passed by before him, and proclaimed, The Lord, The Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth..."

"Merciful" in Hebew is "rachuwm" (Strong's OT:7349), which is from "racham" (Strong's OT:7355) and means to fondle, to love, to be full of tenderness, love and compassion.

The first thing God wanted the Israelites to know was that He longed and desired to cuddle and hug them and this is just what your Heavenly Father and the Lord Jesus wants to do with you! Your Heavenly father loves YOU like He loves Jesus and Jesus loves YOU as the Father loves him, the Lord Jesus is NOT ashamed to call YOU His brother! John 15v9, 17v23, Heb 2v11.

His 2nd Name is "Gracious" which in Hebrew is "channuwn" (Strong's OT:2587) it is used of One Who bends and stoops to minister to someone who is in trouble and distress. Heb 2v17,18

2) Also know that the hard time you have been having is proof that you have a faith in Jesus and that it is worth testing! Rom 5v1-5, James 1v2-4,12. The purpose of these trials is to form the character of Jesus in you and to prepare you for ministry.

3) This next point is MOST important for you to understand, Heb 2v17,18, 4v15 states:

"So it is evident that it was essential that He be made like His brethren in every respect, in order that He might become a merciful (sympathetic) and faithful High Priest in the things related to God, to make atonement and propitiation for the people's sins. For because He Himself [in His humanity] has suffered in being tempted (tested and tried), He is able [immediately] to run to the cry of (assist, relieve) those who are being tempted and tested and tried [and who therefore are being exposed to suffering]...For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning."

The Lord Jesus has been tempted in ALL points like as YOU are, but to a far greater degree, so that HE KNOWS FROM EXPERIENCE exactly what you are going through and is interceding for you every second of every day, you are on His heart ALL the time!

4) In the months and years to come after the Lord Jesus has brought you through these present trials, He will bring you alongside people with exactly the same problems that YOU have previously gone though and it is ONLY be going through such circumstances that you will be able to sympathise and have compassion upon them and help them!

5) So, draw near to Jesus and He will draw near to you, let Him carry you upon His shoulder so that it is ONLY His footprints that are seen on the ground as you go though each day.

James 4v6-8 states:

"But He gives us more and more grace (power of the Holy Spirit, to meet this evil tendency and all others fully). That is why He says, God sets Himself against the proud and haughty, but gives grace [continually] to the lowly (those who are humble enough to receive it). So be subject to God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him], and he will flee from you. Come close to God and He will come close to you..."

Yahweh Shalom...

 

[Chainhand]

Glad to hear you changed your mind, brother!

I'm not pretending to know what it is like to be married to someone who is unappreciative of you. I am sorry that you have that on your plate and I will be praying for you. As many have said, your young men need you to be there for them. It may not seem like it now, but there is hope for your wife as well, to change and become the lady you fell in love with.


I have been through a few averse situations and I know how easy it is to focus on the negative side of things. But negativity drags our spirit down with it. As a few people mentioned, the Comforter mentioned in the Bible is the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and has helped me tremendously in situations where I needed to feel peaceful in otherwise troubling circumstances.


God gives it to all who ask. I cannot recommend it highly enough, it is separate from being saved.

God bless you sir.

 

[resurrection33]

Do you thing that some Christians are predetermined to commit suicide? If so or if they do will they be forgiven? Is it a one way ticket to hell? I'm suffering in my marriage, I work 3 jobs, my wife works one full time. We have 3 wonderful boys, 12, 11, 10. I'm doing almost all the house chores, along with shopping, and meals. I'm very affectionate towards my wife and praise and up lift her daily. I'm always telling her she is beautiful and that I love her dearly. I receive very little attention or affection in return. I feel so unappreciated. I receive no praise for all the help I do to keep this family functioning. We have been married 12 years and I love her more today than the first. She seems to not care any more, and her untreated bi-polar doesn't help. I feel like that the best option for me is to leave this world and go home to my father in heaven. I have been praying for the Lord to take me home yet I'm still here. I've been praying for him to touch her heart and mind and heal our marriage, yet it goes unanswered. So basically if I so choose to to leave this world, will I still make it home, or will I be damned to hell?
Thank you for your answers!
John

I don't think Christian are predetermined to do anything. The Lord has a plan for us, if we walk with him, but our potential is only realized when we DO walk with him. As for suicide, the Lord doesn't want us committing suicide.