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K
I don't have any scriptures that says the husband can force the wife to do any certain sexual technique, and I don't think any exist. I've never done it, but I understand it can cause permanent damage. In a marriage, there is give and take both ways, because it's about using your bodies to show love.
1
Ephesians 5
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
No, husbands can't force their wives to do this.
That wouldn't be love.
Is this permissible in a consenting heterosexual marriage?
From what I can tell, the Bible is silent on that.
But I may be wrong.
I'm sure if I'm wrong, someone will chime in. I mean this is the Internet!
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
No, husbands can't force their wives to do this.
That wouldn't be love.
Is this permissible in a consenting heterosexual marriage?
From what I can tell, the Bible is silent on that.
But I may be wrong.
I'm sure if I'm wrong, someone will chime in. I mean this is the Internet!
U
Well, there's no scripture that says a husband can 'force' a wife to do anything, sexual or not. I know the law in the US is that forcing your spouse into sexual acts is still technically rape.
Men are not to take a woman by force in any manner, rather she is to submit to him, and he is to be honoring and respectful of her in her submission as to not take advantage of her but 'love her as Christ loves the church'. Which means he cannot force his will on a woman, just like Christ would not force his will on one of us. So while this answer may not be directly about anal sex, it is about any use of force of a husband on a wife.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of His body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:25-33
Men are not to take a woman by force in any manner, rather she is to submit to him, and he is to be honoring and respectful of her in her submission as to not take advantage of her but 'love her as Christ loves the church'. Which means he cannot force his will on a woman, just like Christ would not force his will on one of us. So while this answer may not be directly about anal sex, it is about any use of force of a husband on a wife.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of His body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:25-33
B
There is no oral Sex, or anal Sex. It's not Sex.
Sex is what could make the wife pregnant. Can a women get pregnant while having anal or oral "sex"?
Simply speaking, it's an activity that stimulates sexual disire. Don't let anyone tell that overall it's Bad or a "sin". For one thing, it isn't even mentioned in the bible so you can't claim that it's a sin (masturbation isn't either btw), and second if anyone tells you it is - it's an opinion. I could see it as bad if some type of serious health problem were to occur within it. Or possibly if I guess someone were to enjoy it more than actual sex.....?
..I'm still not quite sure on that part either..
But of course if anything is Forced without the other person being okay with it, then it is bad and of course forceful.
Sex is what could make the wife pregnant. Can a women get pregnant while having anal or oral "sex"?
Simply speaking, it's an activity that stimulates sexual disire. Don't let anyone tell that overall it's Bad or a "sin". For one thing, it isn't even mentioned in the bible so you can't claim that it's a sin (masturbation isn't either btw), and second if anyone tells you it is - it's an opinion. I could see it as bad if some type of serious health problem were to occur within it. Or possibly if I guess someone were to enjoy it more than actual sex.....?
..I'm still not quite sure on that part either..
But of course if anything is Forced without the other person being okay with it, then it is bad and of course forceful.
C
Heres 3 simple guidelines I got from my Pastor that are helpful for Christian's who what to do something (usually to do with sex and associated junk draw of sexuality) but its not technically in the bible but society has varying opinions on:
Is it lawful?
Is it in violation of the laws of the govt OR the moral laws in the bible? If yes, then don't do it.
Is it helpful?
Does it pull the (married) couple together or apart? If what you want to do is humiliating, painful,degrading or a violation of conscience for one or both parties then don't do it. In relation to sex for couples etc intimacy should achieve one or more of 6 things - pleasure, conception of children, oneness, knowledge, protection and comfort (all of which can be backed by scripture).
Is it enslaving?
Does what you want to do have the potential to be obsessive, out of control or addictive in an unhealthy and concerning manner? That is what the bible calls spiritual enslavement. This kind of slavery is usually chosen by the person eg drug abuse, alcohol, gambling, shopping, food, and sex (most common - porn). There is a certain list of criteria to know if there is enslavement over something:
- A pattern of out of control behaviour
- Severe consequences because of sexual behaviour
- Inability to stop despite negative consequences
- Severe mood changes around sexual behaviour
- Persistent pursuit of high risk behaviours
- Ongoing effort to stop or limit behaviours
- Inordinate amounts of time spent on sexual matters
- Increasing amounts of sexual experiences
- Sexual obsession and fantasy as a priimary coping tool.
To answer your second question - NO a husband cannot force his wife to do anything. That shows that he does not get respect and instead he has to take what he likes by force. The bible says that husbands are to love and honor their spouse. Forcing them is not loving nor honorable. Should and can a husband expect regular sexual intiamcy? Yes. Does he have that marital right? Yes. Should he force it? No. Should a husband expect all sex that aims just to please himself? Hell no! Should he aim to have a servant heart for his wife and strive to please her in and out of the bedroom? Yes. Should his wife have the same servant heart? Yes.
Is it lawful?
Is it in violation of the laws of the govt OR the moral laws in the bible? If yes, then don't do it.
Is it helpful?
Does it pull the (married) couple together or apart? If what you want to do is humiliating, painful,degrading or a violation of conscience for one or both parties then don't do it. In relation to sex for couples etc intimacy should achieve one or more of 6 things - pleasure, conception of children, oneness, knowledge, protection and comfort (all of which can be backed by scripture).
Is it enslaving?
Does what you want to do have the potential to be obsessive, out of control or addictive in an unhealthy and concerning manner? That is what the bible calls spiritual enslavement. This kind of slavery is usually chosen by the person eg drug abuse, alcohol, gambling, shopping, food, and sex (most common - porn). There is a certain list of criteria to know if there is enslavement over something:
- A pattern of out of control behaviour
- Severe consequences because of sexual behaviour
- Inability to stop despite negative consequences
- Severe mood changes around sexual behaviour
- Persistent pursuit of high risk behaviours
- Ongoing effort to stop or limit behaviours
- Inordinate amounts of time spent on sexual matters
- Increasing amounts of sexual experiences
- Sexual obsession and fantasy as a priimary coping tool.
To answer your second question - NO a husband cannot force his wife to do anything. That shows that he does not get respect and instead he has to take what he likes by force. The bible says that husbands are to love and honor their spouse. Forcing them is not loving nor honorable. Should and can a husband expect regular sexual intiamcy? Yes. Does he have that marital right? Yes. Should he force it? No. Should a husband expect all sex that aims just to please himself? Hell no! Should he aim to have a servant heart for his wife and strive to please her in and out of the bedroom? Yes. Should his wife have the same servant heart? Yes.
C
Secondly, if a husband wants to have anal sex and the wife says no can he pull out the "submit to me" verse? No he cannot. If the wife feels that anal sex would be painful or degrading because she suspects he got the idea from watching porn, then that in effect is him breaking the rule of loving and honoring his wife. And a husband does not have the right to force his wife to sin with him and against herself for that matter. God and scripture and the Church and govt authorities overide the husbands authority. If a husband is forcing his wife to have anal sex, that is rape and I would do the intelligent thing and call the police and have him arrested.
C
Also extra note that most people may not know and I apologise if I gross anyone out but for the basis of answering this question in the most respectful and fully intelligent way -
Is it lawful?
The bible does not prohibit anal sex. Anal sex is NOT sodomy. The sin that got Sodom and Gomorrah burnt to the ground by God was not anal sex between married husbands and wives but rather homosexual sex between men, and in that particular case they wanted to gang rape the two angels who appeared as men. The word sodomy isn't actually in the bible. Therefore, within marriage anal sex isn't sinful and can be permissible.
Is it helpful?
For the husband, the male prostate can only be accessed through the anus. Some have called it the "male G spot" as apparently when simulated with the wife's finger produces pleasure. Hence why some couples choose to experiment on the husband.
On the other hand, for the wife there can be multiple risks involved. Unlike the vagina, the anus isn't naturally lubricating (so synthetic lubricant must be used) and she must be relaxed or it will be painful. And since the anus is much thinner than the vagina, it also tears more easily and can become infected if torn. And that ain't fun when you think about explaining that circumstance on your medical insurance paperwork hahaha. And if a woman tears and infects the muscles of the anus then she may permanently make going to the toilet an excruciating experience for the rest of her life. Same goes for the male. And biologically if your dumb enough to not realise that thats where faeces come out of and faeces under the fingernail is gross and can cause E coli then that truly is dumb
Is it enslaving?
If anal sex becomes an obsessive part of the marriage or begins to overtake other forms of marital sex eg traditional intercourse then there may be a problem. If either one of the parties has had homosexual anal sex or sexual abuse involving anal sex done against them, then it wouldn't be a sin but the act itself would conjure up memories that may produce pain or fantasy neither of which is biblical and has the potential to be enslaving. And therefore abstaining from anal sex would be a matter of conscious.
Is it lawful?
The bible does not prohibit anal sex. Anal sex is NOT sodomy. The sin that got Sodom and Gomorrah burnt to the ground by God was not anal sex between married husbands and wives but rather homosexual sex between men, and in that particular case they wanted to gang rape the two angels who appeared as men. The word sodomy isn't actually in the bible. Therefore, within marriage anal sex isn't sinful and can be permissible.
Is it helpful?
For the husband, the male prostate can only be accessed through the anus. Some have called it the "male G spot" as apparently when simulated with the wife's finger produces pleasure. Hence why some couples choose to experiment on the husband.
On the other hand, for the wife there can be multiple risks involved. Unlike the vagina, the anus isn't naturally lubricating (so synthetic lubricant must be used) and she must be relaxed or it will be painful. And since the anus is much thinner than the vagina, it also tears more easily and can become infected if torn. And that ain't fun when you think about explaining that circumstance on your medical insurance paperwork hahaha. And if a woman tears and infects the muscles of the anus then she may permanently make going to the toilet an excruciating experience for the rest of her life. Same goes for the male. And biologically if your dumb enough to not realise that thats where faeces come out of and faeces under the fingernail is gross and can cause E coli then that truly is dumb
Is it enslaving?
If anal sex becomes an obsessive part of the marriage or begins to overtake other forms of marital sex eg traditional intercourse then there may be a problem. If either one of the parties has had homosexual anal sex or sexual abuse involving anal sex done against them, then it wouldn't be a sin but the act itself would conjure up memories that may produce pain or fantasy neither of which is biblical and has the potential to be enslaving. And therefore abstaining from anal sex would be a matter of conscious.
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God didn't say anything about anal sex because it was implied. It definitely would have been non kosher (unclean). They didn't have the showers and soaps we have today for clean up. Secondly I completely agree with CC Bride regarding the medical aspect. It is designed as an exit only cavity. Now about the forcing issue, the response to the Shades of Grey book series (I didn't read it) hopefully taught everybody something. They were calling this book about DOMINATION, mommy porn. It would be foolish to ignore that women desire a non submissive sexual partner. That being said, some women get aroused by being "forced" but not raped. Any matter in the bedroom should be done lovingly.
K
I was going to mark likes, up and down the column. I love the frankness and openness.
Tigress, I love your analysis. So different from some I have heard. Can I ask where you draw the line when man/woman daily encounters become adultery against the spouse.
Hungry, are you speaking mostly from personal experience, or do you have solid data that "women desire a non-submissive sexual partner"? I ask because the Kinsey report suggests that there are vastly different percentages, but still significant for both sexes.
Tigress, I love your analysis. So different from some I have heard. Can I ask where you draw the line when man/woman daily encounters become adultery against the spouse.
Hungry, are you speaking mostly from personal experience, or do you have solid data that "women desire a non-submissive sexual partner"? I ask because the Kinsey report suggests that there are vastly different percentages, but still significant for both sexes.
Kenisyes, I concluded that most women desire a non submissive sexual partner based on the response from the Shades of Grey series. Not just a select number of women were reading this series, it was vastly popular. Young and old women were not only reading it but they couldn't wait for the next one to come out. There was just a ton of response. They were calling it mommy porn because of the overwhelming reaction it had on the female readers. It was all over the news, they were talking about it on radio stations about how it "livened" women up in the bedroom. As for personally, it wasn't something I didn't already know.
K
Do you mean the books by Jasper Fforde? I have not read that, and what I just read on Wikipedia about it, I think I will skip it. I would need some reason to question the Kinsey report, as there was a lot of good research went into that. Was there really a random sample, or only people who had read the novel? What percentages are we talking about? Kinsey was like 70% women and 40% men agreed with the non-submissive male role.
Romans 1:26-27 26 For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, 27 and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.
It would seem even though the Scripture doesn't speak directly on the issue, God does have an issue with the unnatural use of a man or woman. If it is wrong for a man to be done this way by another man, what about a woman? Since this is not part of her original design, then it's not considered natural use.
B
I draw the line when the man/woman purposely makes relationship-like or sexual opportunities with another man/woman who isn't their husband/wife. Like for example, if the married person purposely goes on a "date" with another man/woman, they pretty much know what they're doing and seem not to care if they cheat, as long as they get caught. (sorry if that sounded weird, it was hard to word it..lol)
Btw to people quoting me, I'm mainly refering to heterosexual relationships..Idk if that makes what I'm saying to make more sense, but I'm just saying.
Hebrews 13:4 - "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."
Btw to people quoting me, I'm mainly refering to heterosexual relationships..Idk if that makes what I'm saying to make more sense, but I'm just saying.
Hebrews 13:4 - "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."