What if husband is cheating, and what seems like also with drugs??

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Coco0416

Guest
#1
#1
I've posted my full story. So I won't make this long...I can't distinguish between what I feel is God telling me this path has turned into a dead end, and my husbands promises of he's quiting not to give up on him....with the devil truly surrounded me I can't fully hear Gods voice. There's so much negative powers around him, literally in his blood, so many lies, and betrayal.

I've suggested Christian counseling from our church and it gets shot down. Constant remarks of how much of a hypocrite I am because I too back slided. I've begged on my knees til they have bled. I've even put my foot down and gave an ultimatum, it wasn't our marriage he chose...but I stayed for fear of me breaking the vows I made with him and God. And so depseratly not wanting to let the devil win that easy.....

Please help and send prayers!!! I'm in constant emotional pain. I stay in prayer constantly but can't clearly hear what God wants us me to do.....
 
santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
#2
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
48
#2
Go to counseling without him -- you need help as well. A pastor/counselor will be able to help you hear God's voice.
 
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standingstrong

Guest
#3
#3
I totally understand what u r going through my husband has had affairs and every time he has these affairs he blames me because I am not doing what I should as a wife . I love this man but now I am not sure if I am in love with him .yes I have prayed and cryed out to God to help me understand why me but I just can t her him .
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#4
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#4
Each time he points out your own mistakes remind him of being renewed and a new 'creature' through the forgiveness of Jesus Christ: 2 Cor 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
...and that he can have that same forgiveness. Each day is a chance to begin again.

Being faithful to marriage vows may require some tough love. That doesn't mean physical violence or harsh debates but it is a gentle, but firm, holding each other accountable to God's requirements for a holy marriage.

Staying in the Word, praying, seeking counsel from mature Christians, can help you to know what to do and how to do it. Dr. James Dobson has a great book about 'tough love'...here are some reviews about it:

Love Must Be Tough: New Hope for Marriages in Crisis: James C. Dobson: 9781414317458: Amazon.com: Books

We can be godly spouses without being doormats or punching bags. There is no guarantee that your husband will 'see the light' but YOU will be tremendously blessed by following God's instructions.

Praying that the Holy Spirit will fill you both to overflowing with His love and power.
 
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nimbus3852

Guest
#5
#5
Negate his argument by agreeing with him. Say you're on the backslide as well, even if you don't feel that way.

Ask about his concerns and truly listen.

It could be a smoke screen to justify his behavior, or it could be sincere. If the latter, then you are well on the way to winning him over.
 
Agricola

Agricola

Senior Member
#6
Dec 10, 2012
2,638
88
48
#6
If he will not go to councilling and he continues with this game, then its time to call end to the marriage. You have the right to divorce him. There is no point in living in shame of a marriage with a cheating liar who you can never trust again, who emotionally abuses you and puts you down all the time, that is not a relationship and although pain of being single may hurt, its going to hurt a lot less than what you are being put through.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#7
Jan 24, 2011
11,780
2,943
113
#7
I think you need to leave this man. Esp. if drugs are involved, you could be hurt when drug deals go wrong, or he goes off his rocker.

If he does not want to change, you cannot change him. God can, but that means you getting right with God, and interceding for him. Can you do this while he is around? I doubt it.

I am not saying divorce, but separate. Get your own life in order. See what his response is. Get your church to pray for his salvation. It is possible, but not if you are not right with God.

Protect yourself, and get help. You can do it!
 
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