First on snoring - the simple answer is for him to get a CPAP. My husband has had one for 10 years now. It made so much of a difference to him, because he actually had sleep apnea, and was not breathing up to 60 times a night. It took me a long time to get used to the sound of the machine, and I do put a heavy pillow over my head. I will tell you there is nothing harder on a marriage than not sleeping together. (I think it was over 20 years we did not sleep together at night, because of his snoring. Plus, snorers often do not realize how bad the sound they make is, and snoring is extremely hard on the heart. Please get him to get a CPAP prescribed, and buy it, even if you both can't afford it. (Some insurance will cover it!)
Second - finances - do get separate accounts for your money, if you have a separate income. It is better to have the money together, but better to have it separate than fight all the time about money. We separated our income about 10 years into our marriage and it made a huge diffference and cut the fighting about money to almost nothing. We had a common checking account to pay the bills, and we each put in the proportion that we earned.
About 10 years ago we went to a financial seminar sponsored by his work. They told us to keep our accounts separate as far as on-line and ATM banking. But put both our names on all the accounts. That way whichever of us passes away first, the other has immediate bank access to the money. Also cars and RVs in both names. Since then, we share a lot of what we spend and we are more unified as a marriage. However, we both like to control our "own" money, so having double accounts stops a lot of fighting, even if they are in both names. There is nothing wrong with separating the money if you cannot put things together.
I remember my mother controlled my parent's money, and my mom literally would not give my Dad money even when he wanted to buy her a present. So he worked teaching summer school, opened up his own bank account and put all the money from the course into his own account. It was really silly, since they were quite rich, but my mom had her own issues, and what my dad did solved the problem.
Third - your issue of not loving him. What a very wrong thing to say. Love is NOT a feeling! Love is a committment. So you say you are a Christian and committed to Christ, yet you refused to commit yourself totally to your husband. And it does not matter if he is not saved - he will NOT be saved, unless you change your attitude and show him what a loving wife does - and that means loving and respecting her husband, because she committed to loving him before God! You seem very angry at anyone who addresses this issue. But it is the crux of all your marriage problems. I do pray you will commit to loving him, even if it means overlooking some very big deficits. None of us is perfect, but we do have to love our spouses as we committed to do. I will confess we went through some very difficult years in our marriage, with neither of us loving each other, or more importantly God, for years. But God totally restored our marriage, although I don't think there was ever a time when we didn't love each other, deep down, in spite of the outward problems and appearances.
Fourth - have you tried marriage counseling? I would go to a Christian counselor, who is there to save your marriage. And do follow through. God wants you to love your husband and enjoy your life with him. And that is not happening right now, it seems to me.
I will be praying for God to change your heart, and for your marriage to be renewed and restored!
