who said women are better single parents then men?

[rillolion]

Why do women get the children?...why is it assumed they are better off with the mother?...
I disagree...the discipline and respect is learned from the father...life is in the seed...the genealogies in scripture show that the children were raised and taught mainly by the father....besides..Yahweh is a single father...best example!

 

[rechem]

lol.

I get waht you're saying. But women are prone to knowing instinctively the role of 'creator', hence they need learn the role of 'wife' and subservience.

and men are more prone to needing to learn the role of a fair and just 'lord', and treating wives as God treats us.

'In God's image they were made, male and female he made them'.

Man and woman is a hard concept for us to grasp. But women, generally, tend to be better nurturers.

Men just want to 'lord over' and be 'top of the chain'.

Hence God calls men 'wives'. *emasculation a little*

 

[rechem]

One cannot function fully without the other.

 

[rechem]

God would have no need to 'teach' if he had no 'wives' and 'children'.

Children being humanity, and wives being those who have come to him.

similarly, man would have no need to learn to be 'lord' if there were no women.

Women would have no need to learn 'wife' if there were no men.

 

[Tintin]

There are some mothers that are left with their children and shouldn't be and there are many fathers who want to be with their children but can't be. Society seems to think that most mothers are innocent when it comes to divorce, so often fathers are shafted and forgotten about.

 

[rechem]

There are some mothers that are left with their children and shouldn't be and there are many fathers who want to be with their children but can't be. Society seems to think that most mothers are innocent when it comes to divorce, so often fathers are shafted and forgotten about.

Hence why wives are needing to learn the role of 'wife'.

a lot of men actually do a pretty good job of the 'Lord' role. Merciful even to the point of wives becoming 'prodigal'.

I do have sympathy because men are tasked with being responsible men, yet get so much other crud hung round our necks that it just isn't feasible unless the wife learns also to be 'wife' in the proper sense.

That's what a deck of cards, rack of ribs and beer nights with the lads are for I guess.

 

[Tintin]

Amen, brother! Swap the deck of cards for a quality board game, the rack of ribs for something with meat on it and keep the beer nights as is (but in moderation).

 

[rechem]

Amen, brother! Swap the deck of cards for a quality board game, the rack of ribs for something with meat on it and keep the beer nights as is (but in moderation).

Whatever floats your boat dude. I'm pretty easy (as long as the beer stays) lol.

It's difficult today because a lot of women are actually very unsure of what 'man' and 'woman' are.

Geenrally I've had women try to mould me into their own perspective, being 'Lords' and 'mothers' as they would over children. And then asking more of me 'why didn't you do this'.

But where do you draw the line? We can't take and create and mould by force, yet giving in and 'changing' isn't great either.

I think a lot of women need to understand that we have differences, and they are there for a reason.

Men have become 'objects', and women have become 'objects'. Instead of doing what we feel is benificial, we do what society instils in us.

Women get their views from friends and media. And oftentimes, men do too.

We become relationships full of people who don't really know what they want, but desire to exert control rather than take the time to figure out what's best.

 

[rechem]

And in typical fashion, it's hard to find a woman who understands 'taking time to find the best route' as anything more than 'can't take control like a man'.

 

[rachelsedge]

I'll be the first woman to post on this thread.

The thing is, there is no "better gender" for a single parent. Children learn from both the father and the mother and when one is absent, it changes things.

There are great male single parents, there are great female single parents. There are single parent females who shouldn't have the children and there are single parent males who shouldn't have the children. I don't think it's a matter of which gender is better, but rather which person is stable enough (emotionally, financially, etc.) to take care of the children.

While courts/judges/the law are, admittedly, easier on women and tend to give women the custody of the children, it could be because generally the male is the one with the problems. It is generally the father who is abusing/being violent, or using alcohol, etc. Is that the case for every single one? No. Far from it. There are women who do the same thing. But in general, it is usually the male and that's why you see the children going to the mother more often than not. As for divorces where violence is not involved and it's just a matter of "differences" between the parents, it's just the way society is in that the justice system is more lenient towards women. That's not really fair and I don't have an answer for why it is on that one.

Like I said, though. I don't think one is "better than the other". Males should be the leader in the family, yes, but that does not make them the "better parent". Both mother and father have a role.

 

[zaoman32]

Rachelsedge pretty much just took what I was going to say...and said it better than I would have.

I know for males it really doesn't help in today's society when guys my age, even with kids and wives, would rather sit around and play video games like a 10 year old than actually take care of their family and do something meaningful.

 

[Stephen]

Do you have any divorce stats that indicate this?

I'll be the first woman to post on this thread.

The thing is, there is no "better gender" for a single parent. Children learn from both the father and the mother and when one is absent, it changes things.

There are great male single parents, there are great female single parents. There are single parent females who shouldn't have the children and there are single parent males who shouldn't have the children. I don't think it's a matter of which gender is better, but rather which person is stable enough (emotionally, financially, etc.) to take care of the children.

While courts/judges/the law are, admittedly, easier on women and tend to give women the custody of the children, it could be because generally the male is the one with the problems. It is generally the father who is abusing/being violent, or using alcohol, etc. Is that the case for every single one? No. Far from it. There are women who do the same thing. But in general, it is usually the male and that's why you see the children going to the mother more often than not. As for divorces where violence is not involved and it's just a matter of "differences" between the parents, it's just the way society is in that the justice system is more lenient towards women. That's not really fair and I don't have an answer for why it is on that one.

Like I said, though. I don't think one is "better than the other". Males should be the leader in the family, yes, but that does not make them the "better parent". Both mother and father have a role.

 

[BarlyGurl]

I'll be the first woman to post on this thread.

The thing is, there is no "better gender" for a single parent. Children learn from both the father and the mother and when one is absent, it changes things.

There are great male single parents, there are great female single parents. There are single parent females who shouldn't have the children and there are single parent males who shouldn't have the children. I don't think it's a matter of which gender is better, but rather which person is stable enough (emotionally, financially, etc.) to take care of the children.

While courts/judges/the law are, admittedly, easier on women and tend to give women the custody of the children, it could be because generally the male is the one with the problems. It is generally the father who is abusing/being violent, or using alcohol, etc. Is that the case for every single one? No. Far from it. There are women who do the same thing. But in general, it is usually the male and that's why you see the children going to the mother more often than not. As for divorces where violence is not involved and it's just a matter of "differences" between the parents, it's just the way society is in that the justice system is more lenient towards women. That's not really fair and I don't have an answer for why it is on that one.

Like I said, though. I don't think one is "better than the other". Males should be the leader in the family, yes, but that does not make them the "better parent". Both mother and father have a role.

Mostly, I enjoy your posts... this one... is soooooooo far away from biblical principals I am disappointed. It is very worldly thinking and STATISTICS are merely useful as a barameter of what is going on socially. Fact of the matter is, biblically and historically... the children are considered the FATHERS and in MY lifetime... that used to be the case... it has been a turning trend in my lifetime (notice I am 45) that the FEMINIST Movement has turned the tide with respect to divorce and single parenting. Yep... I am saying WOMEN are the ones to blame for the wrestling patriarchal society from historical and biblical tradition. At this late hour I am not SAYING that NOW men are blameless... as the singleness in Christianity is rising very rapidly and since the order is MAN-> WOMAN... there are plenty of men these days who are NOT doing their God ordained JOB... and they are without excuse for falling into the world"s pattern for living.
Women have done a MUCH better Job at manipulating the system and there are plenty of men who have endured the abuse of women... they just don't run shrieking to the police when it happens... cuz they are men. There are plenty of women who purposefully provoke men to wrath.. so they can cry abuse, or fabricate lies about abuse. I am not saying that Men are never abusers... I am saying... please do not allow that worldly thinking to remain in your thought processes and decision making criteria... it is false and sown by the enemy to DIVIDE the sexes.
No single parenting is okay... it was NEVER intended to be so by God... which is why he tells younger widows to MARRY, why there are prescriptions for remarriage after divorce, why HE said "pure and undefiled religion is to visit widows in their distresses and care for orphans", why marraige is supposed to be a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church...etc.
What we have now is the CHURCH that exhaults singleness and single parenting ABOVE marriage because the society statistic has swung that way. There are many women who are embittered and refuse to remarry... okay fine... but that doesn't EXCUSE MEN from pursuing a mate... because the first in leadership is the MAN.
Please rethink the "thinks" you have and align yourself more closely with God's worldview in this area... for your benefit.

 

[jimmydiggs]

I'll be the first woman to post on this thread.

The thing is, there is no "better gender" for a single parent. Children learn from both the father and the mother and when one is absent, it changes things.

There are great male single parents, there are great female single parents. There are single parent females who shouldn't have the children and there are single parent males who shouldn't have the children. I don't think it's a matter of which gender is better, but rather which person is stable enough (emotionally, financially, etc.) to take care of the children.

While courts/judges/the law are, admittedly, easier on women and tend to give women the custody of the children, it could be because generally the male is the one with the problems. It is generally the father who is abusing/being violent, or using alcohol, etc. Is that the case for every single one? No. Far from it. There are women who do the same thing. But in general, it is usually the male and that's why you see the children going to the mother more often than not. As for divorces where violence is not involved and it's just a matter of "differences" between the parents, it's just the way society is in that the justice system is more lenient towards women. That's not really fair and I don't have an answer for why it is on that one.

Like I said, though. I don't think one is "better than the other". Males should be the leader in the family, yes, but that does not make them the "better parent". Both mother and father have a role.

I beg to differ on the explanation for the disproportionate amount of women who are favored by courts.

Much of it is rooted in that we as a society believe women are better nurturers of children than men.

 

[rachelsedge]

Mostly, I enjoy your posts... this one... is soooooooo far away from biblical principals I am disappointed. It is very worldly thinking and STATISTICS are merely useful as a barameter of what is going on socially. Fact of the matter is, biblically and historically... the children are considered the FATHERS and in MY lifetime... that used to be the case... it has been a turning trend in my lifetime (notice I am 45) that the FEMINIST Movement has turned the tide with respect to divorce and single parenting. Yep... I am saying WOMEN are the ones to blame for the wrestling patriarchal society from historical and biblical tradition. At this late hour I am not SAYING that NOW men are blameless... as the singleness in Christianity is rising very rapidly and since the order is MAN-> WOMAN... there are plenty of men these days who are NOT doing their God ordained JOB... and they are without excuse for falling into the world"s pattern for living.
Women have done a MUCH better Job at manipulating the system and there are plenty of men who have endured the abuse of women... they just don't run shrieking to the police when it happens... cuz they are men. There are plenty of women who purposefully provoke men to wrath.. so they can cry abuse, or fabricate lies about abuse. I am not saying that Men are never abusers... I am saying... please do not allow that worldly thinking to remain in your thought processes and decision making criteria... it is false and sown by the enemy to DIVIDE the sexes.
No single parenting is okay... it was NEVER intended to be so by God... which is why he tells younger widows to MARRY, why there are prescriptions for remarriage after divorce, why HE said "pure and undefiled religion is to visit widows in their distresses and care for orphans", why marraige is supposed to be a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church...etc.
What we have now is the CHURCH that exhaults singleness and single parenting ABOVE marriage because the society statistic has swung that way. There are many women who are embittered and refuse to remarry... okay fine... but that doesn't EXCUSE MEN from pursuing a mate... because the first in leadership is the MAN.
Please rethink the "thinks" you have and align yourself more closely with God's worldview in this area... for your benefit.

Where did I say that men never get abused? Where did I say that men are the ONLY ones to blame? Where did I say that women have more of a right to their children than the men? Where did I say that women never manipulate or lie? I admitted that the courts are easier on women than on men. jimmydigs is right in that mothers are seen as the nurturers and so courts lean in that direction, but as I said in my post, men are generally the aggressor in cases of alcoholism, spousal abuse, and physical/sexual child abuse. Notice how I said that as far as divorces go where there are only "differences" (i.e. abuse/addiction/etc. are not involved) that I did not know why mothers were favored and that I did not think that it was fair.

I'm not quite sure where my "worldly thinking" is. I didn't know that statistics were "worldly". What else am I supposed to go off of?

Where did I say that single parenting was the best option? I thought I made it clear that the best option is to have both parents involved.

 

[Fenner]

Why do women get the children?...why is it assumed they are better off with the mother?...
I disagree...the discipline and respect is learned from the father...life is in the seed...the genealogies in scripture show that the children were raised and taught mainly by the father....besides..Yahweh is a single father...best example!

There are cases where the father would be the better parent to raise the child and the Mother is chosen because it's the Mother. It isn't always fair to the men. I'm sorry if this is something you are going through now.

 

[Tintin]

The church exalts singleness above marriage? Since when? If anything singleness seems to be an embarrassment for the church.

 

[MaranathaSoonQuick]

yep, one of the great problems with today, a result from other sin, is that more and more children are growing up fatherless or motherless, I would think that the male and female would be first equally yoked as one none better than the other or more dependable than the other, but equally yoked together, then, you should consider having children adding to the family never to break apart through break ups and divorce. Some people say that satan is working hard to raise the number of divorce in our world today, as the bible states, Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. so i could agree with their view on that, and we need to have God in and as the center of our marriage. another part of the bible says, If God is for us, who can be against us. so that's the way I see it.

 

[rillolion]

Mostly, I enjoy your posts... this one... is soooooooo far away from biblical principals I am disappointed. It is very worldly thinking and STATISTICS are merely useful as a barameter of what is going on socially. Fact of the matter is, biblically and historically... the children are considered the FATHERS and in MY lifetime... that used to be the case... it has been a turning trend in my lifetime (notice I am 45) that the FEMINIST Movement has turned the tide with respect to divorce and single parenting. Yep... I am saying WOMEN are the ones to blame for the wrestling patriarchal society from historical and biblical tradition. At this late hour I am not SAYING that NOW men are blameless... as the singleness in Christianity is rising very rapidly and since the order is MAN-> WOMAN... there are plenty of men these days who are NOT doing their God ordained JOB... and they are without excuse for falling into the world"s pattern for living.
Women have done a MUCH better Job at manipulating the system and there are plenty of men who have endured the abuse of women... they just don't run shrieking to the police when it happens... cuz they are men. There are plenty of women who purposefully provoke men to wrath.. so they can cry abuse, or fabricate lies about abuse. I am not saying that Men are never abusers... I am saying... please do not allow that worldly thinking to remain in your thought processes and decision making criteria... it is false and sown by the enemy to DIVIDE the sexes.
No single parenting is okay... it was NEVER intended to be so by God... which is why he tells younger widows to MARRY, why there are prescriptions for remarriage after divorce, why HE said "pure and undefiled religion is to visit widows in their distresses and care for orphans", why marraige is supposed to be a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church...etc.
What we have now is the CHURCH that exhaults singleness and single parenting ABOVE marriage because the society statistic has swung that way. There are many women who are embittered and refuse to remarry... okay fine... but that doesn't EXCUSE MEN from pursuing a mate... because the first in leadership is the MAN.
Please rethink the "thinks" you have and align yourself more closely with God's worldview in this area... for your benefit.

Perfect! This is my point!

 

[Agricola]

I ended up with the kids and house, God was my lawyer and influenced the judge who made a final ruling awarding custody to me at the first hearing, my solicitor was litterly dumbstruck on the judges decision and had to be asked couple of times by the judge for a response, she just stood there open mouthed.

Even more amazing is my ex wife council and herself agreed to it. On the way out my solicitor just uttered over and over "that never happens". Prior to the hearing I was told it would just be a quick formality of judge making various requests for reports and hearing adjourned for about a month.

Anything is possible with God on our side.