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Y
Growing up as I did and seeing myself through the eyes of parents who were present in flesh but absent in spirit, it gave me the opportunity to learn how to rely on myself. So much so that I've been frustratingly independent for most of my life. There is far too large a chance that I would pass on some very undesirable and detrimental genetic faults to any offspring, so it's good, IMHO, that I don't reproduce.
M
I was an oops baby as well, mixed race born to a single mother out of wedlock with schizophrenia.
I was brought up in foster care by my aunt. Otherwise it would have meant a children's home,
no one else was willing to give a home to a mixed race baby and born out of wedlock was a big
disgrace back then.
There was a lot of discussion about how schizophrenia was genetic when I was a young person and
how I might end up the same. As I young person I group up aware of these conversations
and told myself early on as a child that I would never have any children in case I went mad,
or my children went mad. Same as you but different reasons.
Praise God He is bigger than ignorance and superstition - it never happened, but the damage was done
and I've never had a desire to have children. I always struggled with relationships too thinking
that men would want children and I didn't think it was fair to marry then tell them I didn't
want children.
That doesnt mean life cannot be lived to the full, I like to think I have birthed
spiritual children in Christ through the various things I have got involved in, childrens
camps, beech missions etc.
God knew my circumstances before I was born. My testimony is below and I later added the
story of how God knew me before I was born.
He knew you too Yahweh and you have always been wanted by Him. God bless.
http://christianchat.com/testimonie...ildless-father-who-discovered-father-god.html
I was brought up in foster care by my aunt. Otherwise it would have meant a children's home,
no one else was willing to give a home to a mixed race baby and born out of wedlock was a big
disgrace back then.
There was a lot of discussion about how schizophrenia was genetic when I was a young person and
how I might end up the same. As I young person I group up aware of these conversations
and told myself early on as a child that I would never have any children in case I went mad,
or my children went mad. Same as you but different reasons.
Praise God He is bigger than ignorance and superstition - it never happened, but the damage was done
and I've never had a desire to have children. I always struggled with relationships too thinking
that men would want children and I didn't think it was fair to marry then tell them I didn't
want children.
That doesnt mean life cannot be lived to the full, I like to think I have birthed
spiritual children in Christ through the various things I have got involved in, childrens
camps, beech missions etc.
God knew my circumstances before I was born. My testimony is below and I later added the
story of how God knew me before I was born.
He knew you too Yahweh and you have always been wanted by Him. God bless.
http://christianchat.com/testimonie...ildless-father-who-discovered-father-god.html
N
Our oldest two children were "surprises". I call them surprises over accidents, because often-times a surprise is something you didn't even know you wanted or needed until received, so they were definite surprises. The youngest child was planned. We didn't not want children when our oldest two came....they just came before we felt "ready" to have . WHat we learned throughout this was: If we had waited until we felt ready to have children, we'd still not have them, because let's face it.....very few are ever truly ready for everything that can come with raising children.
S
I did not want children, and was in my mid 30's and had started menopause. One day when I was alone spending time with the Lord I heard what seemed to be a nearly audible voice say "it's time to have a baby". I really struggled with that for a couple of months but knew what I had heard. I had my son at 37 and my twin girls at 39. I had a very difficult time with the adjustment because I loved my life just the way it was. But I also took motherhood very seriously and stayed home the first 9 years with my children and was very involved in their lives and teaching life lessons as well as home schooling. I can't say I regret I had them, but had absolutely no idea I would be the sole parent in their lives for over 10 years (abusive father). My children and I have a wonderful relationship and are very close, praise the Lord because the circumstances have been very difficult. They are grown now and are trying to find what they want to do in life, they've had plenty of struggles to deal with and are maybe behind others their age as far as school and work, but better to get it right than not get it at all. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't glad I was done raising them and I wish they could get out on their own. I am very weary and would love to be free of being the main paycheck in the house for everybody.
well, i wasn't planned. my parents had the girl and boy. 7.5 yrs later, i showed up lol!
in my late 20s, i felt that i really wanted to have kids. when i was 30, i got depressed cuz i was very single, and i could hear my biological clock ticking away. God ministered to me, and then, i was ok with being single and not having kids. i have friends who have children. i play with them for a little while, and then return them to the parents lol.
i'll be married soon. my fiance and i are open to the idea of kids, but it's no longer a priority. if God gives us kids, hurray! if He doesn't, hurray! lol
in my late 20s, i felt that i really wanted to have kids. when i was 30, i got depressed cuz i was very single, and i could hear my biological clock ticking away. God ministered to me, and then, i was ok with being single and not having kids. i have friends who have children. i play with them for a little while, and then return them to the parents lol.
i'll be married soon. my fiance and i are open to the idea of kids, but it's no longer a priority. if God gives us kids, hurray! if He doesn't, hurray! lol
All but one of my kids were oops babies. LOL (There are 4 total) My oldest was an oops. I didnt want kids. I was not a fan all the way up to the point of when she was born. But I quickly wanted to hold her and became super protective to the point of almost getting thrown out of the hospital. lol It was her that made us decided to have my 2nd daughter. But we didnt want to have any more after her. We of course had two more unplanned. I'm so glad we did, well for the sake of the kids anyway. I wish I didnt have them with their mother as child support for 4 kids hurts quite a bit. lol But, I love my kids dearly and am very thankful for them.
Y
Something I've noticed over the last twenty years is that the colleagues and acquaintances I have had stopped holding either of those titles soon after they started their families. It's not as though I made a conscious decision to cut people out of my life, but there is a definite relationship between them having families and me not having any more of a relationship with them. I think that in part the aspect of having a family is so foreign to me it's just something I can't understand or deal with adequately, so I see it as a barrier to being able to relate to those people I see or saw in person on a regular basis.
I don't know. Just thinking out loud.
I don't know. Just thinking out loud.
I'm thankful for my one daughter as well. She was an oops too as she was not really planned.She is now 36 with 3 kids of her own and twins on the way. Oh, I'm all set with child support too so I have an understanding of this. I can also relate to what you said about wishing that you didn't have them with their mother. My ex put me through hell by trying to exclude me from my daughter's life. Yet, if I was even a day late with the support she would threaten to send me to jail. Looking back on the ordeal, going to jail would have been a vacation from the horrible reality that I was part of my world.
N
When I was little, I wanted to be 3 things when I grew up. That famous question when you're 7 and have no actual idea what you want to be. I always said "a teacher, a princess and a mommy" - while I'm no professional teacher, I am a teacher for my child. So that's good enough for me. And I'm a mommy. I like to think I'm a princess, too.. alas 
I always wanted a bunch of kids. Then I experienced pregnancy and a newborn. I have an only child. But having a child is just something I always wanted as long as I can remember. I guess that's part society, too. It's just "what people do" (which we all know isn't true, I know plenty of amazing people with no kids)- but was the mindframe of "my circle".
I've always had a deep nurturing feeling in me. I always had baby dolls and changed their diapers. Pretended to feed them. Hold them. Put them to sleep. Carry them around and take care of them. That feeling is in my bones.
And I'm so glad I have my daughter. She's 10 now, and she's my everything.
I always wanted a bunch of kids. Then I experienced pregnancy and a newborn. I have an only child. But having a child is just something I always wanted as long as I can remember. I guess that's part society, too. It's just "what people do" (which we all know isn't true, I know plenty of amazing people with no kids)- but was the mindframe of "my circle".
I've always had a deep nurturing feeling in me. I always had baby dolls and changed their diapers. Pretended to feed them. Hold them. Put them to sleep. Carry them around and take care of them. That feeling is in my bones.
And I'm so glad I have my daughter. She's 10 now, and she's my everything.
I have a little brother, James, and when I was 16 he was 10, so he loved to go places with me. Basically, I got a small look into parenthood. I loved being able to do cool stuff with him and take him places that my parents didn't want to go. I loved being able to teach him stuff and help him avoid the mistakes that I made !
I know that when I get married, I want to have children. In this day and age, it's really important to raise up kids that will take a stand for Christianity someday.
!I know that when I get married, I want to have children. In this day and age, it's really important to raise up kids that will take a stand for Christianity someday.
Nothing wrong with deciding not to reproduce, its not for everyone.. In fact, if everyone followed your example for the next hundred years, every problem known to mankind would come to a screeching halt.
People just have kids because its a natural progression in life.. I think they get bored and need some trouble.
People just have kids because its a natural progression in life.. I think they get bored and need some trouble
. Oops is such a difficult word to hear. From the sounds of your post, this has painted a lot of your views on children. My wife and I have four, and although they are difficult at times we really love each of them.
From the sounds of this post you are experiencing a lot of rejection inside, and that is heart breaking. Friend, there is something you must know, and that is that Jesus loves you and intimately understands your pain. In the gospel of John, chapter 7, people accused Jesus of being illegitimate. That must have been a blow right there. He was rejectected to the point of being nailed to a cross to save us. He cares about You so much that He gave His very life for You. You are precious in His sight. He has a plan for your life.
Will be praying for you,
Your brother in Christ,
Brandon
From the sounds of this post you are experiencing a lot of rejection inside, and that is heart breaking. Friend, there is something you must know, and that is that Jesus loves you and intimately understands your pain. In the gospel of John, chapter 7, people accused Jesus of being illegitimate. That must have been a blow right there. He was rejectected to the point of being nailed to a cross to save us. He cares about You so much that He gave His very life for You. You are precious in His sight. He has a plan for your life.
Will be praying for you,
Your brother in Christ,
Brandon
