Wife falls away

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timemeddler

Active member
#1
Jul 13, 2023
329
134
43
#1
From doing the work of the father in heaven. Short story years ago she had a disagreement with a few people at church, since then she's pretty much vowed to never get involved with the church again. This might have been fine if she was active in other ways, praying, reading the bible, something. I'm lucky if she wakes me up in time so I and the daughter can make it to church on time, I work swing shift, it's almost always a fight to get her to go along and she takes any excuse to get out of going. The real worry was over this weekend though, I usually put a few items on a list of things to do, this time I added "Read Mathew 7:21". I was told "I am not going to read the bible!"

Wait what? This was the by far the smallest and easiest thing on a list of three things to do, what possible reason would someone who considers herself a believer refuse to read ONE VERSE? I've been beating myself up a bit figuring out how to react to this without committing some sin myself, the plank in they eye and all that. Any suggestions beyond prayer?
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#2
Jul 24, 2016
7,426
3,479
113
#2
Try and find out the foundation of her disagreement or problem with Christianity / The LORD..

Without knowing the actual specific cause of the apathy and drifting away no solid advice on what to do can be offered with any confidence..
 
ResidentAlien

ResidentAlien

Well-known member
#3
Apr 21, 2021
7,591
3,173
113
#3
timemeddler said:
From doing the work of the father in heaven. Short story years ago she had a disagreement with a few people at church, since then she's pretty much vowed to never get involved with the church again. This might have been fine if she was active in other ways, praying, reading the bible, something. I'm lucky if she wakes me up in time so I and the daughter can make it to church on time, I work swing shift, it's almost always a fight to get her to go along and she takes any excuse to get out of going. The real worry was over this weekend though, I usually put a few items on a list of things to do, this time I added "Read Mathew 7:21". I was told "I am not going to read the bible!"

Wait what? This was the by far the smallest and easiest thing on a list of three things to do, what possible reason would someone who considers herself a believer refuse to read ONE VERSE? I've been beating myself up a bit figuring out how to react to this without committing some sin myself, the plank in they eye and all that. Any suggestions beyond prayer?
Click to expand...
Whatever you do don't nag her. Just demonstrate by your actions that you love her but you have no intention of following in her childish ways. If she starts complaining to you about the situation just listen but do not give advice. You're her husband not her father.
 
G

Gideon300

Well-known member
#4
Mar 18, 2021
4,941
2,868
113
#4
timemeddler said:
From doing the work of the father in heaven. Short story years ago she had a disagreement with a few people at church, since then she's pretty much vowed to never get involved with the church again. This might have been fine if she was active in other ways, praying, reading the bible, something. I'm lucky if she wakes me up in time so I and the daughter can make it to church on time, I work swing shift, it's almost always a fight to get her to go along and she takes any excuse to get out of going. The real worry was over this weekend though, I usually put a few items on a list of things to do, this time I added "Read Mathew 7:21". I was told "I am not going to read the bible!"

Wait what? This was the by far the smallest and easiest thing on a list of three things to do, what possible reason would someone who considers herself a believer refuse to read ONE VERSE? I've been beating myself up a bit figuring out how to react to this without committing some sin myself, the plank in they eye and all that. Any suggestions beyond prayer?
Click to expand...
You need to remind her of the parable of the unjust servant. She has unforgiveness towards those people. That is spiritual poison. She won't go to hell, but she will have no fellowship with God (as is obvious) and she will be miserable. And Matthew 7:21 is applicable. It is possible to be saved yet miss out on the blessings of God's kingdom. Ask her if that's a price worth paying to hold onto a grudge.

She may or may not respond. I have a family member who is doing a Jonah, running from God and sitting under a figurative fig tree. I've tried to help but to no avail. I do not advise you to badger your wife. If she reponds, great. If not, "An offended brother is harder to win than a fortified city, and disputes are like the bars of a castle." Proverbs 18:19. Pushing someone very often hardens them, not softens their heart. It's God's business to change the heart. All we can do is speak the truth in love. The truth still sets people free, if they will accept it.
 
Billyd

Billyd

Senior Member
#5
May 8, 2014
5,055
1,495
113
#5
timemeddler said:
From doing the work of the father in heaven. Short story years ago she had a disagreement with a few people at church, since then she's pretty much vowed to never get involved with the church again. This might have been fine if she was active in other ways, praying, reading the bible, something. I'm lucky if she wakes me up in time so I and the daughter can make it to church on time, I work swing shift, it's almost always a fight to get her to go along and she takes any excuse to get out of going. The real worry was over this weekend though, I usually put a few items on a list of things to do, this time I added "Read Mathew 7:21". I was told "I am not going to read the bible!"

Wait what? This was the by far the smallest and easiest thing on a list of three things to do, what possible reason would someone who considers herself a believer refuse to read ONE VERSE? I've been beating myself up a bit figuring out how to react to this without committing some sin myself, the plank in they eye and all that. Any suggestions beyond prayer?
Click to expand...
Sounds like she needs to forgive those who have offended her. Maybe you haven't either. Try Matthew 18:21-22 in place of 7:21.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#6
Jun 30, 2015
24,710
13,393
113
#6
timemeddler said:
From doing the work of the father in heaven. Short story years ago she had a disagreement with a few people at church, since then she's pretty much vowed to never get involved with the church again. This might have been fine if she was active in other ways, praying, reading the bible, something. I'm lucky if she wakes me up in time so I and the daughter can make it to church on time, I work swing shift, it's almost always a fight to get her to go along and she takes any excuse to get out of going. The real worry was over this weekend though, I usually put a few items on a list of things to do, this time I added "Read Mathew 7:21". I was told "I am not going to read the bible!"

Wait what? This was the by far the smallest and easiest thing on a list of three things to do, what possible reason would someone who considers herself a believer refuse to read ONE VERSE? I've been beating myself up a bit figuring out how to react to this without committing some sin myself, the plank in they eye and all that. Any suggestions beyond prayer?
Click to expand...
Sorry you’re going through this. Having been through a similar situation, I can understand the frustration. Unfortunately, you can’t fix her, and further efforts will likely result in deeper entrenchment.

Make it your goal to behave in a Christlike manner regardless of her decisions. Don’t make goals that require her cooperation as you can’t control her.

Keep praying for her, and if necessary to protect yourself and your family, set and enforce boundaries that limit the damage only to her.

Above all, hold on to the Lord, even if your wife walks away from you. I sincerely hope for better in your case than mine. :)
 
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