internal

As I sit here writing this, I am listening to a band who is always instrumental in my writing process. I don't know how much their music really helps, but I like to think it does and I consistently listen to it while writing. ANYWAY, in this particular case we must come to terms with the fact that none of us are perfect. We all have something we struggle and battle with, and while we should be arresting these things to God, do we? Or are we afraid of letting go? Unwilling to give up that which destroys us, because in some weird way, we feel like it upholds us?

I can feel my wrists bleeding
my eyes despising the site ahead
walking away and continuing
a smile on my lips
and joy inside my voice
singing praise to God
while cursing my brothers
my internal warfare
flaming against my very being
blind sighted to the world around me
around the white again
calling me like a drug
my insides destroyed
yet completing somehow
screaming for deliverance
while hoping it won't come
hand of pressure
arrows of guilt
beckon my soul away
steal me unto You
do not remove me
but find me in Your love
find in me the beauty
clean my life with Your blood
My salvation forevermore