My Suffering

Jesus may love me
But He probably
Loves you more

There is always
More pain
More emptiness
More akwardness
In store

And I'm prayed for years
Shed many tears

I just wanted
My left side
To match my right

It hurts me Jesus
Don't you want me
To feel happy?

This isn't right

And I cried and cried
And prayed day after day

And you still didn't fix me
You didn't make me feel okay

And eveyrone deserves
To be happy

To have a chance
To feel love

Send the angels Lord
To give me help from above

I suffer every
F****** minute
Of every beautiful day

Do you love me at all?
Or have you gone away?

You fixed the lepers Jesus
Will you fix me too

I'm crying and sobbing again
Is there anything you can do?

No end to the akwardness
The sense of imbalance
And emotional pain

Do you even care at all
Do you even know my name

I'll just go eat lunch with Gollum
People hated him too

I'll eat fish with him
By the river
Seems there is nothing I can do

We cry and cry
Your faithful servants
Every single day

Will you help me Jesus
Will you make me feel okay?

This body imbalance has been something I have tried to deal with. My left shoulder and back is larger than my right. I do all the right exercises, and have had therapy. When I was a teenager I overexercised, and this lead to some problems as I got older. This was a helpful exercise to write this. Please be sensitive with your comments, thank you.

It's not a big of a deal, as I make it out to be. I tend to be a perfectionist at times. I continue to pray for understanding-- realizing none of us are perfect.

You're a big deal to God. Thank you for sharing your heart. I'm praying with you, son.