Poem of a Hopeless Romantic

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H

HEIsRiSen

Senior Member
#1
Feb 4, 2013
487
11
0
#1
I wrote this poem after I fell for a nurse in the hospital, it was love at first sight as some would say...


UNTITLED

Love is like a butterfly
So free, fluttering, floating
Whichever way the breeze blows
Flutter by butterfly without a care
To where your heart resides, abides

Love is here, love is there
Where there is love there is no care
Just an open heart to share


​
 
Absolem

Absolem

Banned
#2
Aug 16, 2016
143
4
0
#2
Thus poem needs work. You have the bones just need some meat. The rhyme scheme hindered the message here as it was not consistent throughout the piece. Rhyme or don't rhyme. Commit to your decision. I would rework the wording as well. Try to go from point a to point b so the reader has something to hold on to.
 
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