Church and sex

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lightbliss

Guest
#1
#1
Introduction:
So I know that everyone that goes to church are not Christians, by what they say, how live, etc. But if someone declares themselves to be a Christian, then don't they have to take the bible into accord??? Well of course since being a Christian your life is based on the Bible.

Plot:
I've recently read a post (on a completely different site) from a female who is a "Christian" but she has sex with her boyfriend (he's an atheist). Lets call her Fiona. After a while Fiona left church, which she enjoyed going to. She stated that sometimes she feels guilty afterwards having sex thinking that any girl who wants to have sex (not married) is whorish. She feels a little "nagging" voice in her head that tells her what she's doing is wrong, but she's working on ignoring it because she enjoys doing it with him.

Fiona says if her mom knew, she'd be homeless. She wants to return to her church AND move in with her boyfriend (she's 19).

Fiona boyfriend thinks she only goes (went) to church because of her mom. He also thinks shes brainwashed (because she's "Christian"), she finds this very insulting, and he doesn't want their children (when they have them?) to attend church.

FYI: Fiona's a (former) youth leader. and has low self-esteem

The site I found this on is pro-choice. I badly wanted to comment, but I'd be blasted (and her post was mostly about how she feels guilty about her situation, I didn't want to make her feel worse... but).

My two cents:
Fiona boyfriend doesn't respect her "beliefs" because they're together. Perhaps is she weren't having sex with him, he'd see she was truly devoted to serving God and it means alot to her. He probably feels if she were serious, (and not just because of her mom) she'd have the Bible center in her life. He knows she doesn't (obviously), so he thinks its a bunch of bollocks.

I know its Fiona's personal issue, but why do some people do this??? Is it because they're not in God's will???

So you can either comment on the story or give a reason to my question (or both).
 
Moviefan2k4

Moviefan2k4

Banned
#2
Mar 18, 2009
190
2
0
#2
Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but in my own past I was involved in a premarital sexual relationship with a woman who didn't share my convictions. I was going through a tough time in the first place where God was concerned, and I felt trapped between my love for God and my love/desire for my girlfriend. I wanted so desperately not to be lonely, and after a while I just didn't want to say "no" anymore. She and I tried three separate times over the course of 5 years to make things work out, but in the end it all went downhill. I know for a fact that when you give yourself completely to someone like that, it hurts even worse when you break up. You feel as if a part of your soul has been ripped out, and its not an easy thing to live with. Was the sex between me and my ex-GF incredible? Absolutely...but the fallout simply isn't worth it.
 
H

His_daughter

Guest
#3
#3
I agree, it is very easy for an athiest to say that a person who claims to be a Christian is brainwashed if they aren't following the Word. I once heard a quote (I can't remember who said it so forgive me for that) basically it was from an athiest who said that if the Bible was really true, if it was a matter of life or death, heaven or hell, then Christians should be lining up at his door to share this "good news" with him if it was infact so urgent. If she had the Lord at the center of her life he would have no choice but to see how much her relationship with God means to her, I think the real issue here is a daughter of the King who has been led astray, it breaks my heart to hear this kind of story. I pray that God leads her back into her Father's loving arms and that she comes to realize that only Christ-like-love is real true love, only a man of God can ever love her the way her heart was meant to be loved.
 
N

NoTearsShed

Guest
#4
#4
I dont know but hes trying to brain wash her by telling "HER" that shes brain washed.
I wish her mom knew what she was doing maybe she could talk to her or maybe she can figure out how it is to live in the street without anyone helping you, Without God you arnt nothing, Without God theres no happiness, Sex is not better than being close to God.
If she knew the pain it cosses to be alone without anyone to talk to & with your problems of you & your boyfriend then shed know that its only God who will truly keep loving you even if you sin & make mistakes, he can forgive you & help you change for the good.
If he did love her then he would respect her believes but he dont so im guessing he dont love her. May not be true but thats how i see it.
If your relationship is based on sex then there is NO relationship theres only lust.

We should pray for her =)
For her to see that sex before marriage is bad, & how its bad that he cant respect her believes & for her to start wanting to go to church were she used to like to go to. To get closer to God & want to read the bible =) For her not to turn her back completely on God but instead walk closer to him =D
 
P

princessbella

Guest
#5
#5
ok my 2 peneth is that shes in a controlling relationship , she needs to get out of it , she has low self steam , is easily manipulated, and doesnt value herself, he doesnt really love her, hes controlling and using her, trying to isolate her from her family , if hes like this before they get married if she beleives hes the one, hes gonna dog her until she never goes back..... sometimes you gotta speak the truth in love even if she doesnt listen, pm, her even if you dont wanna say it in public, she deserves so much better and she doesnt recognise it because she doesnt relise how much God loves her,
theres this really good site www.settingcaptivesfree.com, theres course way of purity if she doesnt feel she can talk to anyone irl, it has mentors as you go through it, it will give her sound biblical teaching , like the woman at the well, shes wanting love and satisfaction in the wrong place,shes scared if she stands up to him that shes gonna lose him, if he doesnt respect her and her beliefs now its not gonna get any better and it will just end up making her feel more and more empty and isolated and guilty, sex outside marriage is outside Gods wil and if shes got the hly spirit in her he will be convivting her and telling her shes on the wrong path if she continues to quash that then there will be time she will no longer feel guilty

she is a daughter of destiny , her fathers princessm beutiful unique of value and of worth, God would say i beleive to her right now, for i know the plans i have for you, plans to prosper her not to harm her, to give her a hope and a future, that he loves her very much,
 
S

songster

Guest
#6
#6
This is where Paul's instruction becomes practical application. Being unequally yoked, or in other words unevenly matched with unbelievers can have catastrophic effects in our lives. It is difficult for two people to dwell together without agreeing on the principles and the foundation of what makes a relationship work.

When a person sincerely desires Christ, there is an immediate or progressive removal of selfish desire. Whether it is greed, sexual immorality or illegal behaviors, Jesus soon becomes the main focus. When someone desires both willful sin and Christ and are successful in establishing a dual lifestyle, this is 'a house divided', and it cannot stand.

We cannot eat from the table of devils and from the table of Christ and believe that we are bound for Heaven and that inspite of this willing disobedience, we are somehow Christian. By profession we are labelled with many things. Liberal, conservative, philosophical, a free spirit, but it's not the label that makes the person. This is simply the perception we would like to give to others, but Christ and Christianity are not labels. To say that we are Christian means that we follow Christ. To say that we follow Christ is to say that we agree with the word of God.

If we agree with the word of God and have acknowledged his Lordship over our lives, then we must also submit to His authority to change our lives. Anyone who has peace with God through Jesus Christ will continually strive to remove all wickedness or willful sin from their lives. Those who prefer sin over Christ, by making it a lifestyle, are simply making a choice not to continue in obedience.

It's time for mature choices.

2 Timothy 2:19

The Lord knows those who are his," and, "Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness."
 
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lightbliss

Guest
#7
#7
She stated in her post that they do in fact love each other and he's the only one who understands her, also whenever she feels guilty he comforts her. I don't know. I think if you're in an uncomfortable situation and/or you feel guilty about something you're doing then you should stop.
 
G

greatkraw

Guest
#8
#8
Moviefan2k4 said:
Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but in my own past I was involved in a premarital sexual relationship with a woman who didn't share my convictions. I was going through a tough time in the first place where God was concerned, and I felt trapped between my love for God and my love/desire for my girlfriend. I wanted so desperately not to be lonely, and after a while I just didn't want to say "no" anymore. She and I tried three separate times over the course of 5 years to make things work out, but in the end it all went downhill. I know for a fact that when you give yourself completely to someone like that, it hurts even worse when you break up. You feel as if a part of your soul has been ripped out, and its not an easy thing to live with. Was the sex between me and my ex-GF incredible? Absolutely...but the fallout simply isn't worth it.
Click to expand...
this is the problem

people who cohabit without making a lifetime commitment pay for it here
and it affects every relationship which follows

I feel sorry for teenagers who get seduced/misguided into this sort of mistake
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#9
May 5, 2009
2,565
19
38
#9
Fiona shouldn't have been a youth leader.

I would hazard a guess that Fiona needs to get saved.
 
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seetheunseen

Guest
#10
#10
People use the term christian loosely just because your a christian does not mean people will live by Gods word or even admit that the bible is more than just a good read. Gods will for us is always better than what we believe sadly we let our self ideas seem better. I am sure that she had good intentions at the start figured she could even save him and bring him to God but her having low self esteem when the guy said if you truly love me you will sleep with me she gave into that and as a result her mind got cloudy with the idea of love and him and God became second in her mind. It is more common than it may appear cant speak for everyone though we all do thing differently that would just be my guessing since Flona is a girl and that how some girl tend to act.
 
J

jjones76

Guest
#11
#11
WOW - I must disagree with Sharp. I'm very much a child of the King...but from my past I can tell you that it is human nature to get caught up in our desires. King David (the man after God's own heart) had an adulterous affair with Bathsheba, even having her husband killed...so would it be fair to say he was never saved? (I know that was old testament, not saved, but in the will of God rather).

The lifestyle she is engaging herself in is not good for her, on many levels. If she has low self-esteem, and this guy makes her feel good about herself, yet she still has her convictions, feeling this is wrong...that alone tells me she is saved, or she wouldn't feel the pulling of God on her heart to change. I think she is at a big "fork in the road" and will have to make a choice. Hopefully she will choose to end the relationship, and repent of the sexual nature she was in.
 
MahogonySnail

MahogonySnail

Banned
#12
Jan 8, 2009
7,576
23
0
#12
It took King David about a year to repent. If they don't repent at all before death you know they aren't saved.
 
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