If You Had a Relationship With Someone On CC, Would You Announce It In The Forum?

[seoulsearch]

Hey Everyone,

I honestly think I've seen more CC couples this year in the forums than I ever have in the entire time I've been here. I realize there might not actually BE more couples than usual, but rather, perhaps more people are going public about it.

Just out of curiosity, if you had a relationship with someone on CC, would you allow it to be known in the forums? I thought this might be an interesting poll, and please be sure to give your own personal reasons in a post here in the thread as well.

The poll is anonymous so feel free to be completely honest.

For those of you who will say, "I'd never find anyone here anyway," that's fine if you feel that way, but I'm asking what you think you would do IF it happened. Remember, I've been on CC since 2009 and I've never had a CC relationship either.

Happy polling and posting, and I'll be interested in hearing your feedback (remember it will take a few minutes for the poll to show up--as in, the system makes you post the thread first and then you have to actually write the poll.)

 

[GodIsSalvation]

Hard one to vote on. I am pretty open person myself, but at same time I don't think I'd want to make a romantic relationship into a Singles Section Soap Opera lol. Hmm, perhaps a small advantage in being single though is it's not something I needs be worried of anytime pressing.

 

[secularhermit]

My opinion as all are entitled of yours:


a) There were and there are love relationships announced on CC.

b) If a Christian or an unbeliever is afraid of saying whatever he/she said... That´s her/his business!



It´s like a person wearing dark glasses to avoid being seen before their check in certain hotels, as if nothing happed after their private meeting.

 

[seoulsearch]

I'm really hoping there will be some discussion about this too--the pro's and con's of going public with a relationship--and not just answers in the poll.

As for me, I kind of have mixed feelings and it would depend on all kinds of factors, such as, how long it's been going on, how serious it is (is marriage right around the corner?), the other person's feelings about it, and what we decided together as a couple.

I know (or at least, I've heard! ) it's fun to share when you're in love, but I'd also be afraid that if things went south, I personally wouldn't want to feel it had to be explained publicly either.

I really loved Fenner's thread about what V-day is like for married people--she gave an honest account of what real life is like without talking down to anyone or sounding like singles are below people who are attached.

I guess the other thing for me is that I'd have to really believe there was a reason for going public rather than feeling as if I were rubbing it in other people's faces.

How do the rest of you feel?

 

[GodIsSalvation]

I'm really hoping there will be some discussion about this too--the pro's and con's of going public with a relationship--and not just answers in the poll.

As for me, I kind of have mixed feelings and it would depend on all kinds of factors, such as, how long it's been going on, how serious it is (is marriage right around the corner?), the other person's feelings about it, and what we decided together as a couple.

I know (or at least, I've heard! ) it's fun to share when you're in love, but I'd also be afraid that if things went south, I personally wouldn't want to feel it had to be explained publicly either.

I really loved Fenner's thread about what V-day is like for married people--she gave an honest account of what real life is like without talking down to anyone or sounding like singles are below people who are attached.

I guess the other thing for me is that I'd have to really believe there was a reason for going public rather than feeling as if I were rubbing it in other people's faces.

How do the rest of you feel?

I see what you mean. Plus frankly, everyone enjoys a love story. It is hard though to think of such a situation without being there ya know lol. I suppose if marriage were right around the corner or had happened one might as well as being married is a pretty public way to say you are a couple anyways lol.

 

[seoulsearch]

Just one more thought--this is certainly not a condemnation or criticism of anyone who has or would decide to announce or talk about their relationships publicly--sometimes that can be a big part of of the fun in the Singles Forum, when done in good taste (I think Fenner and MissCris are always good examples of this--they're real and honest about not just the good, but also the many challenges, which is why I enjoy and respect their posts.)

This is just me personally but I'm most into what's real. If you love someone, that's great!! But what happens with something happens that challenges, pushes, or even breaks that love?

Different things work for different people and that is the point of this thread--wondering what others thought would work for them if they had a CC relationship.

Everyone is welcome to post, whether you've have a CC relationship or not.

 

[taggerung]

If I did, I wouldn't announce it until we were engaged probably.

 

[hoss2576]

I think there are a lot of factors involved. Just simple acknowledgement of it is one thing; making it a source of threads and conversation is a completely different one. The more public you make it then you risk becoming fodder for people if the relationship doesn't work. Could you imagine in the midst of the pain of a break-up having countless people messaging you asking what happened? Some will do it out of concern, but a lot will do it out of curiosity because they too have now been invested into knowing about the relationship.

You can also be so public and in the throes of joy that you simply become annoying to people, because lets face it many people don't want to be reminded that they are not in relationships.

I think if you make it a public matter, it has to be a balancing act, and it has to be respectful not just to the two people involved but yes even to the people in CC.

 

[jsr1221]

I personally think posting every single detail about being in a relationship and how it's going 24/7 is a lot like public displays of affection. It's nice two people found each other and are happy. But I don't really care reading about it. I've seen quite a few threads of people talking about their adventures and what not. Part of it has to do with my experience of getting into a relationship with someone on here. At the end of the day, though, everyone has their own opinion. I don't really expect many to agree with me. Or any.

 

[Lynx]

This is yet another of those questions I really can't answer unless/until I get in a relationship. I just don't have the slightest idea what I would do.

 

[gypsygirl]

i'm afraid that sometimes people use "relationship/status updates" to gain some kind of ego boost or esteem from them. maybe that's not the intention, but i think if you're feeling low and long for some validation, it can be tempting. i know there are other reasons, but in general i think it's not the best idea.

to me, the rules of romantic relationships are pretty clear. they're no one's business, period, and would only discuss a romantic relationship with my close friends with great discretion.

as for announcements? i'm pretty sure that's what wedding notices are for. ; p

seriously, i'm a pretty private person, and i kind of believe in the notion that these things are sacred, and not for public consumption and idle discussion for a slow day on cc.

oh and i learned to not share those details pretty early on. because your friends will call you by that nickname he used for YEARS and YEARS to come. sigh.

 

[seoulsearch]

I want to say that in some cases, I've enjoyed reading what others have had to share about their relationships when it's tasteful, respectful, and not overly done.

However, and THIS IS JUST ME, the kinds of things I think about are this: Let's say that Donkeyfish and I started dating (I'm using him as an unsuspecting example because I'm pretty sure he won't mind... right, DF???) and in the course of time, we found out some things we didn't know about each other, but when we first started talking, we announced it right here on CC that SEOULSEARCH AND DONKEYFISH are officially a couple!

And then a few months go by and Donkeyfish discovers... that I have a lethal shopping habit (I don't, but let's just say I did and it took 6 months to realize it.) Or let's say I'm a catfish and he has tried several times to meet with me, but I always give excuses or something always "comes up".

On the flipside, let's say that I discover things about Donkeyfish that make me so mad I wind up screaming at my computer with futile replies.

What do we then tell everyone on CC whom when we've actively told everyone that WE ARE A COUPLE!!! What do we say when everyone asks us how the happy couple is, are we picking out rings, and when is the wedding?

And what if we break up, and of course, everyone will want to know, WHY????

Should DF tell everyone I'm a shopaholic who would drain our bank accounts if we got married? (I'm not, but I'm just using this as an example.) Do I confess that DF makes me madder than a hornet's nest with some of the things he says? And how much detail would I have to go into in order for people to stop asking questions?

Or what if I were perfectly happy and DF was perfectly UNhappy? Would I go on posting away about sunshine and roses and white picket fences while he sat back and steamed away like a dumpling? If poor DV found out I was a catfish or a liar but knew how many people knew me here on CC, would he then be obligated to warn other poor souls of my tricky trappings so they could avoid the nets?

These are the kinds of problems I personally foresee... As much as I would love to announce that I am HAPPILY IN LOVE with someone... I think there can also be all kinds of messy situations you can get yourself into when it's announced publicly (which applies not only to CC, but thinks like Facebook and so forth as well, don't you think?)

 

[jsr1221]

I want to say that in some cases, I've enjoyed reading what others have had to share about their relationships when it's tasteful, respective, and not overly done.

However, and THIS IS JUST ME, the kinds of things I think about are this: Let's say that Donkeyfish and I started dating (I'm using him as an unsuspecting example because I'm pretty sure he won't mind... right, DF???) and in the course of time, we found out some things we didn't know about each other, but when we first started talking, we announced it right here on CC that SEOULSEARCH AND DONKEYFISH are officially a couple!

And then a few months go by and Donkeyfish discovers... that I have a lethal shopping habit (I don't, but let's just say I did and it took 6 months to realize it.) Or let's say I'm a catfish and he has tried several times to meet with me, but I always give excuses or something always "comes up".

On the flipside, let's say that I discover things about Donkeyfish that make me so mad I wind up screaming at my computer with futile replies.

What do we then tell everyone on CC whom when we've actively told everyone that WE ARE A COUPLE!!! What do we say when everyone asks us how the happy couple is, are we picking out rings, and when is the wedding?

And what if we break up, and of course, everyone will want to know, WHY????

Should DF tell everyone I'm a shopaholic who would drain our bank accounts if we got married? (I'm not, but I'm just using this as an example.) Do I confess that DF makes me madder than a hornet's nest with some of the things he says? And how much detail would I have to go into in order for people to stop asking questions?

Or what if I were perfectly happy and DF was perfectly UNhappy? Would I go on posting away about sunshine and roses and white picket fences while he sat back and steamed away like a dumpling?

These are the kinds of problems I personally foresee... As much as I would love to announce that I am HAPPILY IN LOVE with someone... I think there can also be all kinds of messy situations you can get yourself into when it's announced publicly (which applies not only to CC, but thinks like Facebook and so forth as well, don't you think?)

It then gets kinda embarrassing for the couple who broke up when people keep asking them "what happened" or why they deleted the thread of being in a relationship with said person. It bites them in the end and just creates an embarrassing and awkward situation altogether. Cause no one really knows how a relationship will go.

 

[seoulsearch]

I just want to say again that I did NOT create this thread to somehow put down or criticize anyone who has chosen or will choose to share about their relationships in the future. I have appreciated that many people have been willing to share and I think they have all done so with good intentions.

I just simply wanted to know how others felt about it for their own personal lives, and why.

It's actually a question I've wanted to ask for a very long time but just never got around to it until now.

 

[wisebeardman]

id rather not.

 

[Roh_Chris]

I wouldn't share it with everyone, except with a few close friends. I once made the mistake of publicly disclosing my second relationship with everybody and I regret it until now. So, I won't let that happen anymore.

 

[Roh_Chris]

So I kept wondering why this thread showed up as 'Unread' even though I was the last person to post. I thought it was some CC bug. Until I realized why..

 

[CatHerder]

I would not consider the lady in question and myself to be a "couple" until we have actually met in person. Until we meet, we are just avatars and comments really...maybe a bit closer with live chat. Yes, we can become drawn to certain people and become attracted to them, but let's face it, we only see what people allow us to see of them, and vice-versa.

Part of me dreads the notion of an actual meetup because if I find that there is mutual attraction beyond what is presented in CC, we would have to deal with long distance relationships, etc...would whatever we have survive that?

If it did, or if it did not, it would be a private matter and not the business of other CC peeps. I have a feeling that through facebook or PM's on CC, others would know anyway, and there would be no point in a formal announcement. But if our relationship lasted and survived the aforementioned hurdles and we were heading toward marriage, if she wanted to announce that we were an item, I would not object.

If our relationship didn't, it would not necessarily mean that there was a "good guy" or a "bad guy." I would not want her (or me) to feel pressured to make an explanation.

 

[Nautilus]

If said partner agreed it was useful or appropriate to say it then sure. But my luck on here is like my luck in real life. So I doubt said announcements will be occurring any time soon.

 

[cinder]

Yeah, I probably wouldn't announce a relationship publicly on CC until I was engaged (I probably wouldn't announce it at all actually, it isn't other people's business). A few select people who I think could give me good advice might become privy to the existence of the relationship when I wanted their insight or opinion on stuff. But should I get engaged at some point during my time on CC, I would probably let you all know (and maybe even issue a general invite to the wedding). Good excuse for a CC meet up and all.