WHY DO WOMEN START WITH THE "JUST WANNA BE FIENDS?"
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I think it has to do with the fact that the phrase "I just wanna be friends" is safe and emotionally nonthreatening. Problem is, that doesn't get anybody anywhere...
A girl who continually uses this statement (Listen Girls, and outgrow this statement/habit) WILL NEVER FIND A CHRISTIAN HUSBAND! Why? Because a good christian man is going to be looking for a sense of commitment, just like the woman, first. It works both ways, so why use a double standard?
A girl who continually uses this statement (Listen Girls, and outgrow this statement/habit) WILL NEVER FIND A CHRISTIAN HUSBAND! Why? Because a good christian man is going to be looking for a sense of commitment, just like the woman, first. It works both ways, so why use a double standard?
Because they're trying to be nice and gentle, and any guy who has been alive past the age of 15 should know what it means, and maybe shouldn't get too cray cray over it. 
I once posted the 10 Things Men Understand About Women.
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That pretty much sums up our understanding of them.
the reason why a lot of women, myself included, prefer to "fish" out of their sea of friends is because women simply take longer to develop investment and attachment, even real attraction, typically.
i've said this already a few times here, but my favorite analogy for "male attraction" vs. "female attraction" is the swimming pool. typically, when guys decide they're attracted to a woman, they tend to just jump in the pool.
women on the other hand, tend to start from the shallow end. they inch into the pool, with their attraction and investment typically deepening with their time and experience/exposure to the guy.
this of course is generally speaking. and of course, there are all kinds of reasons why women might say "friends first" as well. previous relationship hurts and baggage make people wary. as does age/time, and having more to "lose". lack of confidence. and who knows what else.
but i'd say, don't assume the worst if a woman stresses the desire to be "friends first". and for the guys, if you really want to woo a woman, be a good friend to her. not smothering, but consistent and available. it's a great way for her to see your virtues and other attractive qualities in a manner that isn't putting her on the spot or forcing some decision.
in the past, i've been asked out by guys who i didn't really have any attraction for, but later got to know them through church or in a friendly, non-threatening way and found them to be a LOT more attractive. it's funny how that works. : )
i've said this already a few times here, but my favorite analogy for "male attraction" vs. "female attraction" is the swimming pool. typically, when guys decide they're attracted to a woman, they tend to just jump in the pool.
women on the other hand, tend to start from the shallow end. they inch into the pool, with their attraction and investment typically deepening with their time and experience/exposure to the guy.
this of course is generally speaking. and of course, there are all kinds of reasons why women might say "friends first" as well. previous relationship hurts and baggage make people wary. as does age/time, and having more to "lose". lack of confidence. and who knows what else.
but i'd say, don't assume the worst if a woman stresses the desire to be "friends first". and for the guys, if you really want to woo a woman, be a good friend to her. not smothering, but consistent and available. it's a great way for her to see your virtues and other attractive qualities in a manner that isn't putting her on the spot or forcing some decision.
in the past, i've been asked out by guys who i didn't really have any attraction for, but later got to know them through church or in a friendly, non-threatening way and found them to be a LOT more attractive. it's funny how that works. : )
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good stuff, but I don't think this is what the OP was talking about.
Unless I am mistaken, I think he was talking about the excuse of breaking up using the "I just want to be friends" line as an explanation, rather than dating from a pool of friends.
My best guess to the OP -
Though it may not be as direct, it may seem a gentler way to break up than "meh...not really feeling it...I'm dumping you....seeyabye!"
Unless I am mistaken, I think he was talking about the excuse of breaking up using the "I just want to be friends" line as an explanation, rather than dating from a pool of friends.
My best guess to the OP -
Though it may not be as direct, it may seem a gentler way to break up than "meh...not really feeling it...I'm dumping you....seeyabye!"
i don't think i've done the disappearing act.
true story
true story
Not intended to be detrimental to anyone, just a way to discuss the differences in men and women and how they end relationships.
good gravy, you're right about that. i should really start reading the OPs instead of my speed scan. ; p
to the OP, i'll tell you why i've said it in the past:
generally, it's because i like the guy, but not in that way. he has redeeming qualities and/or i've become attached to him in some fashion. but i'm not going to build a snowman with him. ; p
it could also be an acknowledgement that we are both part of a group or community and will be seeing each other on a quasi-regular basis, and i don't want him to think i'm going to feel awkward (or hope he'll not make me feel that way) when we see each other in the future.
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