Afraid of Love?

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NFD33

Guest
#1
What are ways a woman may act or things a woman may do if she is in love but is scared to be in love?

Any experiences are appreciated whether you're the woman afraid to love or the guy on the receiving end. Any advice on how to deal with a woman who is afraid to love are appreciated too.
 
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skylove7

Guest
#2
Sorry I can't help you sweetie! I'm a love poet,..I'm not afraid to love anyone! Lol... :) God bless you though!
 

hoss2576

Senior Member
May 10, 2014
552
23
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#3
I am just going to get this out of the way, sometimes guys will tell themselves and accuse women of being afraid to love when the woman is not interested or trying to let the guy down easily. Not saying it is the case always. I know my girlfriend told me a story about when she was younger she was accused of being afraid to love when in fact she had been skirting the issue and hadn't been interested in the guy.
 
Apr 15, 2014
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#4
I'm afraid if I tell you what I really think of this situation, it's going to make you dig in further. I have a feeling that behind your screen you are shaking your head and thinking, 'No! You just don't understand! This situation is DIFFERENT!!"

If any person is afraid to love, it's not something that you can cure. You can't make a person feel something they don't feel. There have been now 3 threads on "BUT, how can I get her to love me?" and brother, you just can't.

Please take advantage of my 15 years of life beyond where you currently are. Please hear me tell you that you just simply must let this woman go. I promise, I PROMISE, if she's the woman God has for you, he is more than capable of making it work. IN THE MEAN TIME. Do something else. She's not your last chance at love. And if you idealize her while she's running away from you, you'll get stuck and you don't want to miss the woman God actually has for you.

I have seen enough to know that a woman who is interested will make the earth move so you can catch her. I'm just not seeing it here, buddy.

Why do I think you are going to pine after this woman forever and overwhelm her till she finally just tells you to go away? Please don't become this woman's cautionary tale. Make yourself busy with other things.
 
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cmarieh

Guest
#5
My personal opinion: I don't believe that I am afraid to be in love, but I do fear to be rejected by the person that I gave my heart to. I desire to give a man my heart and for him to reciprocate and give me access to his without fearing he will go away. I agree with Olerica that if she is the woman for you God will put her in your life and if not you need to allow yourself to move forward and not be forceful about the issue. If a man told me that he needed a break to sort out his feelings or that he wasn't interested in a further relationship I would be really disappointed and hurt because I would have given him everything and would feel as if I was not good enough, but if he came back and told me that he made a mistake and realized that I was everything he ever wanted I would accept him with open arms because that would be a God thing. Only God can put people together and have it be full of love and happiness for years. Do you want God's best for your life? I know that I do and I would never settle for anything less than that. I was telling a friend of mine tonight that a man will come into our lives that wants to be a husband and eventually a Father and God's timing is never too early, too late, he is just right on time and the Holy Spirit is saving us from God's very best. Good Luck to you.
 

wolfwint

Senior Member
Feb 15, 2014
3,570
870
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#6
Dear friend, i suppose that was Olerica is saying, its true. She gave a good advise
 
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NFD33

Guest
#7
Olerica....why can't you just answer the questions asked instead of trying to dig further? As someone else pointed out...yes this situation is different. But the thing is, every single situation is different. That's why I've tried the route of asking general questions to get some general advice. Like the question I have posed in this thread. I'm merely attempting to see if anyone has experience with this particular situation that can offer experience. I'm doing this because I am NOT bothering her begging for answers. I'm giving her the space I believe she needs. So, since I'm not asking her, I'm trying to get a feel from others who may have experienced different things about what may be going on and how I may should (or should not) approach her or the situation if I see similar characteristics. While in the other threads I have divulged a lot of info, it's not even the tip of the iceberg of what could be shared about our time together or the situation. As I've alluded to, like many relationships, it's a complicated situation. Even when I attempted to explain even briefly in another thread about the work aspect of our relationship (though i don't feel comfortable getting into specifics), someone totally blew off that cancern saying that essentially there is no way our work scenario should affect anything. That seems a little strange to me to totally blow the notion off the table that the work environment in any way would not affect our relationship. Again, all I've tried to do is get some general advice and ideas. I'm under no illusion that the answer of "she's just not that into you" isn't the case. I'm fully aware that could easily be the case. I don't need anyone on this site to tell me that's the case because that will become painfully obvious if nothing ever works out. However, if there are things people can mention that worked for them or like this question I asked in this thread could share experiences if they have them, I'd appreciate it. I asked this question because a close friend of mine said he thought it sounded like that. When he said that, my response was that I had not even considered that a possibility. I don't know how someone acts if they are in love and are afraid to be in love...which is why I ask for experience with that from anyone who may have experience so I can help gauge the situation without bothering her.

I know this sounds like a rant...and well, it is. But I don't need people repeating the same things over and over that are the same obvious answers that someone can give if they know 1 detail or hundreds of details. Again, I'm well aware of all those answers and well aware those could be the case. I do have a gut feeling there is something more going on and I don't know what it is. I refuse to bother her about it because I know now is a time she needs to herself. I'm trying to be very respectful of her while at the same time attempting to research different ideas from experiences others may have had. I appreciate the time people take to answer these posts but you tend to be pretty cynical in your responses.
 
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NFD33

Guest
#8
Thank you, I totally agree with you. It's God's timing, which is perfect. I am probably even trying to understand things I'm not meant to understand. I am at a point (and the wounds are fresh) where I feel this is an incredible woman that I care so deeply for. She is a special woman. Like you mention, I would welcome her with open arms at any given time if she decided I'm who she wants to be with. I also know I'll eventually be fine if she doesn't, even though it will continue to hurt. Thanks for your help and God Bless!
 
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cmarieh

Guest
#9
Olerica....why can't you just answer the questions asked instead of trying to dig further? As someone else pointed out...yes this situation is different. But the thing is, every single situation is different. That's why I've tried the route of asking general questions to get some general advice. Like the question I have posed in this thread. I'm merely attempting to see if anyone has experience with this particular situation that can offer experience. I'm doing this because I am NOT bothering her begging for answers. I'm giving her the space I believe she needs. So, since I'm not asking her, I'm trying to get a feel from others who may have experienced different things about what may be going on and how I may should (or should not) approach her or the situation if I see similar characteristics. While in the other threads I have divulged a lot of info, it's not even the tip of the iceberg of what could be shared about our time together or the situation. As I've alluded to, like many relationships, it's a complicated situation. Even when I attempted to explain even briefly in another thread about the work aspect of our relationship (though i don't feel comfortable getting into specifics), someone totally blew off that cancern saying that essentially there is no way our work scenario should affect anything. That seems a little strange to me to totally blow the notion off the table that the work environment in any way would not affect our relationship. Again, all I've tried to do is get some general advice and ideas. I'm under no illusion that the answer of "she's just not that into you" isn't the case. I'm fully aware that could easily be the case. I don't need anyone on this site to tell me that's the case because that will become painfully obvious if nothing ever works out. However, if there are things people can mention that worked for them or like this question I asked in this thread could share experiences if they have them, I'd appreciate it. I asked this question because a close friend of mine said he thought it sounded like that. When he said that, my response was that I had not even considered that a possibility. I don't know how someone acts if they are in love and are afraid to be in love...which is why I ask for experience with that from anyone who may have experience so I can help gauge the situation without bothering her.

I know this sounds like a rant...and well, it is. But I don't need people repeating the same things over and over that are the same obvious answers that someone can give if they know 1 detail or hundreds of details. Again, I'm well aware of all those answers and well aware those could be the case. I do have a gut feeling there is something more going on and I don't know what it is. I refuse to bother her about it because I know now is a time she needs to herself. I'm trying to be very respectful of her while at the same time attempting to research different ideas from experiences others may have had. I appreciate the time people take to answer these posts but you tend to be pretty cynical in your responses.
Okay, Please calm down. We all come from different places and we try to give sound advice. Olerica was trying to encourage you and say that you are worth more than you do realize. I personally feel that it depends on the girl whether they are afraid of being in love or not. It depends on their childhood whether her parents had a good relationship with each other and with her as well. We are all trying to help understand you and give our opinions and ours are all different.
 
Apr 15, 2014
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#10
If you only knew me. LOL. I am cynical about your situation because, dear man, I have lived so firmly in your shoes. You asked, I answered. You can't dictate to me what I might respond, just I cannot dictate to you how you should handle yourself. If it's tormenting you this much about her intentions? Talk to her. Sorry to say, WE can't answer for you what may or may not be going on with her, and only she can.

Despite how you think this all reads to you, I'm not the only one who has stated that it reads as you being hyper focused on this working out despite our responses.

No matter, I'll give your inquiries a wide berth.
 
Aug 13, 2013
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#12
Loving and being very close to people can be a scary place to be sometimes?
 

gypsygirl

Senior Member
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
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#13
i'm afraid you are taking your frustration out on the wrong people. like it, or not, you offered so little about your situation that speculating on potential scenarios or concerns wasn't out of line, because we had so very little to go on.

sharing our own experiences is the manner through which we offer help, but often is quite irrelevant, because each scenario is different.

i tend to agree with much of the advice shared, but can only reiterate what has been alluded to earlier, which is to stress the fact that we simply cannot know what is going on in her head. but for whatever reason because, when a woman says that she is not interested, your ability to change her mind is quite limited.

convincing anyone to enter a relationship is almost never a successful venture.

and further, i don't advise heading down that path, either. in my experience, successful relationships are built by those who desire and share a mutual drive to be together and to build something together. i wouldn't waste any of my time with a man who isn't sure that he wants to be with me for ANY reason, simply because getting involved with someone ties up your emotions to the extent that you're unavailable potentially for the next "right" woman who comes along.
 
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Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
837
113
#14
What are ways a woman may act or things a woman may do if she is in love but is scared to be in love?

Any experiences are appreciated whether you're the woman afraid to love or the guy on the receiving end. Any advice on how to deal with a woman who is afraid to love are appreciated too.
Here is my somewhat predictable piece of advice:

You really should not care if she is afraid or not. Throw her back in the pond and cast another line out. There are plenty of other women out there. Good ones.

Do yourself a favor and find one. Or at least try. This current chick is a flake who will only hurt you and sap your masculine energy.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#15
Lol @ a woman afraid of love. There is no such thing. Women spend a fair portion of their lives immersed in romance shows, sitcoms and talk shows that revolve around romance, romance novels, and it's the topic they discuss most when they're with other women.

She's not afraid of love NFD33. She just doesn't want it with you. Take the hint and move on. There's plenty more oranges in the orchard, fish in the sea, etc...
 
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Galahad

Guest
#16
What are ways a woman may act or things a woman may do if she is in love but is scared to be in love?

Any experiences are appreciated whether you're the woman afraid to love or the guy on the receiving end. Any advice on how to deal with a woman who is afraid to love are appreciated too.
Wow! That's different.

Okay. Has she ever been in love before? Is she mature, responsible?

She may not be ready for a relationship.

In love, but she's afraid. Love hopes all things, believes all things. etc. See 1 Corinthians 13

Best
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,327
2,358
113
#17
Lol @ a woman afraid of love. There is no such thing. Women spend a fair portion of their lives immersed in romance shows, sitcoms and talk shows that revolve around romance, romance novels, and it's the topic they discuss most when they're with other women.
Not all women are like that. As anyone who has ever tried to get me to engage in girl talk knows.
 
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Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#19
What are ways a woman may act or things a woman may do if she is in love but is scared to be in love?
Does it really matter?