Hey Everyone,
Violakat's excellent thread about how we treat new Christians reminded me of times when other Christians assume I'm an unbeliever myself, and don't seem to believe me when I say I'm a Christian, no matter how much I try to explain my background. (I didn't want to derail Vi's thread so I'm posting this one as a spin-off.)
(How thoughtful of you.) Hmm... gotta say, if this was all I had to go on, my response would probably be:
34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” -John 13:34 (These are Jesus words after washing his disciples' feet, and the strongest foreshadowing of Judas' betrayal (having just left to go sell Jesus out).
Here are some examples:
* As you know, over the years, I've attended many different churches because of moving. Sometimes no one notices at all. Other times, I'll find myself surrounded by 10 people who all want to take my hand and Drag Me Acrosss the Salvation Finish Line because they assume I'm an unbeliever, which I understand (I'm sure they're acting in the interest of "Just in case she isn't really saved... We'll take all the precautions to make sure she is.") Maybe it's just me, but many times I have a hard time convincing people I'm actually a lifelong Christian. Do you ever experience this too?
Umm...I hear where you're coming from, but in response to your question, No, not really. Most non-Christians that I have prolonged contact with (praise God) say they see Christ in me. Not necessarily in those words, but for example, just the other night a coworker I've only known/worked with for about 6 months (forgive me, this already feels and sounds like boasting, which if it is, can only be in God, not me) told me just the other night this last week that she could tell I was a 'real' Christian. Not because I try to shove it in others faces, but because she watches the way I act, speak, listen, care, etc with those around me.
Now, to the body version of that, those who I've met who are generally trying to love and serve and follow God in their lives seem to see or think that of me when we're together. The only trouble I've ever had in that regard are with people who are so set on a particular way of thinking or doing things, that they don't even acknowledge me either by appearances or due to some past confrontation. These are exceptionally rare for me, however.
I'm sure several factors play into that. I live in Oklahoma, which by analogy, is the 'buckle' of what's known as the 'Bible Belt' in the US. So, the general assumption here is that you ALREADY ARE a Christian, unless your words, actions, etc prove otherwise. We're mostly conservative, but there are several moderates like myself, and a growing number of liberal or progressive types too. I'm a white male who is educated, large in stature, from a well known and loved family, and somewhere around middle to upper-middle class socioeconomically. That in itself works to my advantage, and immediately means/changes several things for me as far as thoughts of 'starting gate', 'positioning', and 'comparative advantage' at least in resourcing and opportunity in the current complexity of the world.
I realize that may be more than you wanted to know, but it does pertain to this (and many other subjects) when you begin to dig a little deeper in your thinking and analysis of situations in life. Due to these (an undoubtedly many other variables) I'm rarely challenged or confronted by others. I'm also an introvert (though socially adept enough to be mistaken by everyone as an extrovert) who is conflict-averse, so I tend to keep a low profile and be diplomatic in addition to or despite these other things.
* Many years ago I was in Las Vegas (no, I'm not into gambling, partying, or a wild time. I was there with family to see a Cirque de Soleil show and check out the lobbies of some of the hotels) and as my Mom and I passed walked over a bridge, a young college-age man called out to our group, "Doesn't it bother you that you're all going to hell?" I'm sure he had the best intentions. He was witnessing for his Savior. But, I had to fight the part of me that really wanted to stop and ask him, "How do you know I'm going to hell? Where in the Bible does it say that you, not God, gets to judge my salvation?"
Lol, I feel you there. Perhaps he felt he was fulfilling the 'watchmen' call from Ezekiel, but while that style certainly has its place... admittedly, it's far from the most effective. Fear and provocation are indeed motivators, but often bad ones.
What would you have done? Would you have said something? Or would you have opted to just walk by without a word?
Honestly, depending on how I felt (as I am unfortunately greatly swayed by my emotions, despite my attempts at stoicism) at the time, I would either:
A) Ignore him/her/them entirely.
B) Use them as a conversation topic amidst my company.
C) Speak to and get to know the person or group attempting that street evangelism (though this would often be the least likely scenario, as confrontational types tend to rub me the wrong way... We're...opposite ends of the spectrum, if you will, so as a conflict-averse person, I choose my battles even more carefully than most.
"The great Chinese classics have always said that it's better not to fight; that the clever man achieves his ends without violence; that a battle delayed is better than a battle fought." -by John Keegan or "An eye for and eye will only make the whole world blind." -by Mahatma Gandhi are examples for this way of thinking.
D) Retort with some sort of sarcastic comment in attempt to challenge whatever notion is being presented. For example:
"Do you know you're going to hell?"
"No, I didn't, and in fact, don't believe I am, as that's contrary to what I've come to understand through scripture and the Holy Spirit, but please...tell me your thoughts on the subject. Why is it I'm going to hell, and how is it that you've come to possess this foreknowledge?"
D is obviously the worst choice/answer, which I will try to avoid ("In your anger, do not sin." Eph 4:26), but I, most unfortunately, often fail to do what I ought.
So, as previously stated, what I would do would be almost entirely dependent on my mood/mindset at the time.
* While attending a school conference in New Orleans, I watches as a local church set up a huge cross in the middle of the French Quarter. The cross held a digital message board that told everyone that they were going to hell and needed to repent immediately.
Would you have stopped and said anything to them?
*see earlier answer set*
* On the shuttle ride to the airport on my recent vacation, I was the only passenger (who really, really wanted to sleep because of some long shifts at work), but the shuttle driver was bound and determined to get me saved along the way. He was a little older than me and started talking about the importance of knowing Jesus (he didn't ask if I wanted to know Jesus or if I already knew Jesus, he just told me I needed to have a relationship with Jesus.) As much as I tried to tell him I've grown up in church all my life and yes, I'm a Christian, he wouldn't take any of that as a valid answer and kept right on with the Rolling Sales Pitch for Instant Evangelism the entire way there. I was both awed with admiration... and majorly annoyed.
The advantage and flaw in doing things with a sense of urgency. I was once like that, unfortunately. A sense of urgency isn't a bad thing, but when it causes more harm than good, even the best intentions need to be re-evaluated.
Now, God bless his heart. He was a really nice person and obviously on fire for God, so out of politeness, I stayed awake the whole time and dutifully listened to his well-prepared sermon for over an hour. It didn't matter that I was purposely verbally finishing all the Bible passages he was quoting before he could, or that I could finish his sentences midway, or that told him about my upbringing in Christian schools. He completely ignored all of that.
Either I wasn't Christian Enough To Be Able to Prove It or else He Just Wasn't Taking Any Chances That He'd Let Me Get Away Without the Chance to Be Saved... which I honestly do understand. But I couldn't help being frustrated. And, even more troubling to me is that at the end of the day, he probably went home and said, "I tried my best to serve you today, Lord, and bring another one into the fold," and I'm sure God was in complete acceptance of this. And then I wondered if God was looking at ME with annoyance and saying, "You should have been more attentive... You should have made an effort to be more polite... You should have put more into talking with this man instead of thinking about yourself" (and my dire need to sleep.)
I'm newly trying not to give advice unless it's requested, but I will comment that matters of conviction are entirely between God and you (or the person in question). We can't look for validation from others in that, because it's a matter of our own trust and obedience in our own relationship with God. Do you feel convicted about the situation, or are you just beating yourself up about it? There is, indeed, a difference.
Sometimes I almost wish there was some kind of membership card with a special stamp that states, "Yes, I Am a Christian, and Yes, I Am Going To Spend Eternity With Jesus." I wish that resolving situations like this really was as easy as whipping out my "Certified, Stamped and Verified Kingdom Membership Card" so that sometimes, I could just have some peace and quiet to myself. But I always try to politely pay attention to such spiels because I don't want to discourage that person's willingness to publicly witness to a stranger.
Paul says to the Philippians that we need to 'continue to work out our salvation with fear and trembling'. I'm both sorry and not sorry to say, it's a little more complicated than having a ticket or membership card, lol, but I definitely hear where you're coming from. ^_^
I know the Bible says you'll know a Christian by their fruit, but in chance, everyday encounters like this, the evidence of our fruit isn't always possible.
Absolutely right. As the old adage goes, "You can't just a book by its cover.", and likewise, you don't really know a person after a few meetings or conversations, let alone the first. There are people I know better than anyone else in the world (per those people), and I'm still constantly discovering things I didn't know about them, watching them change in ways both good and bad, and coming to knew understanding about who they are and our relationship... We're constantly in a state of becoming, so 'who we are' is not necessarily as set thing. It really is like another old adage states, "We are who we choose to be."
* Do you find it hard to convince people that you're a Christian, or at least, "Christian Enough", to get them to stop trying to get you saved... again?
* What do you say to people that finally "convinces" them?
* How do you respond to those who automatically assume you're a hell-bound heathen, and won't take, "Yes, I believe," for an answer?
To the first, again, I don't often come across this situation, and if and when I do, no, I don't seem to struggle there.
As for what 'convinces' them, I'm not sure. Maybe they see or feel something in what I say or don't... I am in ministry and on track to become a pastor. I often try to live and appropriately quote or apply scripture to my life and conversations (hopefully without feeling forced or overwhelming). Usually somewhere within our interactions and conversations, most people seem to accept me as a believer/follower of Christ.
As for the reactions, see the above multiple choice list. The better part of me chooses answer C, but honestly, A & B are far more frequent to see in my behavior.
Thanks for posting, Kim! You're awesome, and I enjoy your thoughts and questions!
