Methods of Raising Kids

[Aqua_Girl09]

I have nineteen kids right now. ^_^ I love all of them with all my heart but lucky for me i get to send them home with their parents at the end of the work day. ^_^

i started this thread to ask and talk about different methods of dealing with children. since they're not actually MINE i'm not allowed to spank them (if they were mine OH! they would get it! lol) but what kind of things do you do when it comes to

1. tantrums
2. screaming
3. hyper
4. not listening
5. whining
6. and anything else you can think of ^_^

 

[Forlorn-Hope]

Depriving children of things they find enoyable coupled with discussion about behaviour in my oppinion are the only way to raise a kid. Physical discipline is wrong whatever the situation it's the lazy way out.

 

[AnandaHya]

I could give you a list but I'll give you some websites instead. YOu have to make the kids understand WHY what they did is bad, redirect their attention and if you have good lesson plans that helps. want to pm me specific examples. I have 2 preschoolers and teach high school and have worked with a lot of kids. just finished and Early Childhood education class.

Discipline them like God does. with a loving but firm hand.

Discipline Guide for Children

Here are some key suggestions

"Important Reminders about Discipline:

• Stay calm and do not get carried away when your child misbehaves. Avoid yelling and screaming, since this can teach your child that it is all right to lose control if you don't get your way. If you feel like things are escalating too much, then take a break until you can regain your composure.
• Avoid too much criticism. Make sure your child understands that it is the misbehavior that you are unhappy with and that you will always love him.
• Avoid too much praise. You don't need to be continuously praising your child, especially for routine activities, because it will make your comments less effective.
• Don't focus on negatives all of the time, especially when offering positive reinforcement. It is much better to say ‘I like that you put all of your clothes away,' instead of saying ‘I like that, for once, you finally got around to putting your clothes away without my asking.'
• Avoid physical punishment. Spanking has never been shown to be more effective than other forms of punishment and will make your child more aggressive and angry.
• Remember to give rewards and praise for good behavior.
• Understand the difference between rewards and bribes. A reward is something your child receives after he has done something, while a bribe is given beforehand, to try and motivate your child to do what you want. Bribes should be avoided.
• Be a good role model.
• Most importantly, provide your child with a safe environment in which he feels secure and loved. "

 

[AnandaHya]

lol post the question on the family forum, most singles don't have kids.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Play them a movie like toy story or something from disney.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

screaming at the child so loud you get the po-lice called on you usually works...

 

[Jullianna]

I have nineteen kids right now. ^_^ I love all of them with all my heart but lucky for me i get to send them home with their parents at the end of the work day. ^_^

i started this thread to ask and talk about different methods of dealing with children. since they're not actually MINE i'm not allowed to spank them (if they were mine OH! they would get it! lol) but what kind of things do you do when it comes to

1. tantrums
2. screaming
3. hyper
4. not listening
5. whining
6. and anything else you can think of ^_^

While some kids do have actual behavior issues, when kids are displaying most of the behaviors on your list, they are tired, bored and/or hungry. So many times parents expect children to adapt their schedules to their parents' needs. That doesn't work well, mainly because smaller kids can't read the schedule.

When my son was small, I learned a few things:

1. He was going to mimick MY behavior and responses. Kids learn by example. If you want to teach your kids that acting out, screaming, etc. are not acceptable behaviors, then don't be a hypocrit and show them otherwise.

2. If I needed to buy groceries or run other errands, I would wait until he was well rested and had a full tummy. As soon as he woke up from his nap, I'd feed him and THEN go, so I didn't have to listen to him whining and screaming in Walmart like so many other kids.

As far as discipline was concerned, when he was very small and I recognized a battle of his will against mine (re: bothering things he shouldn't, etc.), I would remove him from the situation and put him in a walker or playpen to protect him from himself and teach him that freedom has a price.

Once he was past the toddler stage and understood EXACTLY what "no" meant, I would ground him from a favorite show or toy, but I didn't have to do that very often. Though, admittedly, even now there are times when he thinks that "No" means "keep asking me the same thing over and over until I say yes".

It all comes back to the bottom line that kids model behaviors we display to them. If we want them to behave well, be well mannered and not use inappropriate speech, etc., we need to set the bar for them. They're watching US.

As for boredom, spend time with them. Teach them something (cooking, planting flowers), READ TO THEM...help them develop a love for literature (my son told me that when he was little he figured out that reading "made a movie in your head" and he loved it), play games with them that involved physical activity (tag, limbo, hide N seek) to help them burn off some of the energy that builds up and comes out in the form of misbehaving.

Hope this helps

 

[Liamson]

While some kids do have actual behavior issues, when kids are displaying most of the behaviors on your list, they are tired, bored and/or hungry. So many times parents expect children to adapt their schedules to their parents' needs. That doesn't work well, mainly because smaller kids can't read the schedule.

When my son was small, I learned a few things:

1. He was going to mimick MY behavior and responses. Kids learn by example. If you want to teach your kids that acting out, screaming, etc. are not acceptable behaviors, then don't be a hypocrit and show them otherwise.

2. If I needed to buy groceries or run other errands, I would wait until he was well rested and had a full tummy. As soon as he woke up from his nap, I'd feed him and THEN go, so I didn't have to listen to him whining and screaming in Walmart like so many other kids.

As far as discipline was concerned, when he was very small and I recognized a battle of his will against mine (re: bothering things he shouldn't, etc.), I would remove him from the situation and put him in a walker or playpen to protect him from himself and teach him that freedom has a price.

Once he was past the toddler stage and understood EXACTLY what "no" meant, I would ground him from a favorite show or toy, but I didn't have to do that very often. Though, admittedly, even now there are times when he thinks that "No" means "keep asking me the same thing over and over until I say yes".

It all comes back to the bottom line that kids model behaviors we display to them. If we want them to behave well, be well mannered and not use inappropriate speech, etc., we need to set the bar for them. They're watching US.

As for boredom, spend time with them. Teach them something (cooking, planting flowers), READ TO THEM...help them develop a love for literature (my son told me that when he was little he figured out that reading "made a movie in your head" and he loved it), play games with them that involved physical activity (tag, limbo, hide N seek) to help them burn off some of the energy that builds up and comes out in the form of misbehaving.

Hope this helps

YAY!!!

Thats why Jullianna is awesome

 

[evelina]

As for boredom, spend time with them. Teach them something (cooking, planting flowers), READ TO THEM...help them develop a love for literature (my son told me that when he was little he figured out that reading "made a movie in your head" and he loved it), play games with them that involved physical activity (tag, limbo, hide N seek) to help them burn off some of the energy that builds up and comes out in the form of misbehaving.

I totally agree with it .... so i think if a kid is whining don't play them a movie/ if u show them a movie you ''loose them in a way''.... if the movie is over they will whine again but spend more time with communicating with them....just think what was the greatest thing in your childhood and do that to them .
and for real now i have never seen a really good kid movie.... lol they just call it kid movie but yaaa its more something for adults (e.g. disney movies)

so never scream at them (if you are helpless) because if a kid sees that you screaming the kid automatically knows the guardian/nanny or whatever is, is weak.... you need lots of patience!!!

And i just have a thought : if you ever will have a kid raise it from the beginning like from the first day when its just born a kid understand everything even if the kid doesn't talk... the kid knows you since it was in your tummy... thats how it will respect you for a lifetime...

 

[evelina]

oh how old are the kids? i was writing about kids age 0- grade 4

 

[AnandaHya]

Here are some lesson plans and Julianna's ideas are excellent

Free Lesson Plans for Teaching Children - Kid Explorers / ChristianAnswers.Net

I've found with a big group the more preparation you do a head of time thinking of problems and having solution on hand helps a LOT. For example have something to occupy ALL the time you have them either free play or guided instruction. Teachers plan a lot and have all the material in place or have assistants get thing ready for the next activity before allowing the kids to transition into it. Transitions can be stressful for some kids and you will have to keep a routine so they can expect it and be prepared. giving them 5 minute warnings can help with this. Recognize each kid is different and you will have to handle their individual temperaments differently.

Sometimes you can do the same thing and one kid will react well to it and other will totally freak out. What are the age groups and how long do you have them? I love story time and music and dance normally get some kids involved and the energy has a positive outlet to be expressed versus tantrums, etc. normally time out works (even for teenagers but you have to call it something else, but basically you make them do seat work instead of science labs).

Good luck. You'll be in my prayers

here's another lesson plan site

Bible Lesson Plans

 

[Jullianna]

Thank you, Liamson and Evelina. Hugs!

There were a few things I forgot to say...

1. Kids need affection and encouragement. Hug them, snuggle with them when you read to them or watch tv with them, tell them that you love them, tell them that you are proud of them, especially when they behave well. Children who are deprived of affection or given the WRONG type of affection will have issues that will affect their relationships with others.

2. TAKE them to church WITH you, be a Sunday School teacher, read the scriptures to them and quote applicable scriputes to them about daily living and practical application, PRAY with them and for them, and never be afraid to show them that you are vulnerable and that you cry...they need to understand that it's more than okay to have a tender heart toward the things of God, it's mandatory.

 

[Stuey]

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Is this a cry for help??

 

[zeroturbulence]

Is this a cry for help??

I don't know but i think I like it!

 

[evelina]

Thank you, Liamson and Evelina. Hugs!

There were a few things I forgot to say...

1. Kids need affection and encouragement. Hug them, snuggle with them when you read to them or watch tv with them, tell them that you love them, tell them that you are proud of them, especially when they behave well. Children who are deprived of affection or given the WRONG type of affection will have issues that will affect their relationships with others.

2. TAKE them to church WITH you, be a Sunday School teacher, read the scriptures to them and quote applicable scriputes to them about daily living and practical application, PRAY with them and for them, and never be afraid to show them that you are vulnerable and that you cry...they need to understand that it's more than okay to have a tender heart toward the things of God, it's mandatory.

yeah those are the most important things take them with to church be an example and tell them that u love them....

Jullianna i .....(speechless) hahaha i love your posts!!!

 

[Stuey]

[FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]Prov 13:24: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."
[/FONT][FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]Prov 19:18: "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."
[/FONT][FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]Prov 22:15: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
[/FONT][FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]Prov 23:13: "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."
[/FONT][FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]Prov 23:14: "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Shoel)."
[/FONT][FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]Prov 29:15: "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."[/FONT]

With an Iron Rod! Bahahahahaaaa....

Seriously tho, I think we should discipline children as god disciplines us. With love, patience and mercy - but also with a rod (Not an Iron one!) when needed, for their own good. I think I agree with most of what Julianna said, from my great and wise position as a single young adult... lol, I'm going to learn a lot if I get married someday.

 

[Tatz]

Well, am really being prepared to be a good mother.

 

[Jullianna]

[FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]Prov 13:24: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."[/FONT]
[FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]Prov 19:18: "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."[/FONT]
[FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]Prov 22:15: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."[/FONT]
[FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]Prov 23:13: "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."[/FONT]
[FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]Prov 23:14: "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Shoel)."[/FONT]
[FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]Prov 29:15: "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."[/FONT]

With an Iron Rod! Bahahahahaaaa....

Seriously tho, I think we should discipline children as god disciplines us. With love, patience and mercy - but also with a rod (Not an Iron one!) when needed, for their own good. I think I agree with most of what Julianna said, from my great and wise position as a single young adult... lol, I'm going to learn a lot if I get married someday.

In all honesty, I'm not opposed to a child being spanked. My parents spanked us when we needed it, but we were wilder and more willful than my son. I was blessed with a child who didn't need the rod. Most of the time just knowing that I was upset with him wounded him to the core.

My only issue with spanking is that some people don't know the difference between spanking (an action taken to correct the behavior of a child) and beating (taking out a parent's anger on a child in a manner that is far too violent; that's revenge, not discipline). Parents need to remember that they are accountable to God for the way they raise the gifts He has entrusted to them. It's a tough, tough job, and you do learn to pick your battles.

 

[thimsrebma]

I have 550 children. They are all different and respond to different types of discipline. Some of them you can just look at and they will understand and get themselves together straight away. I think explaining why something is wrong and giving out a consequence and sticking to that consequence is the best thing to do. You have to follow thru or they will think they can get away with anything.

I know some people do not believe in "spanking" but it worked on me. I was respectful at school, did my chores at home, finished my homework and went to bed when my parents said so. I didn't want a spanking. And yes spanking is different than child abuse.

"Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)

FYI - I DO NOT spank my students!