Hey Everyone,
After reading some of the threads going on here, I have to ask a question: if a man is not attracted to overweight women, what is he going to do when she gains 35 pounds or more while carrying each of his children? Does he expect that she's going to weigh 110 pounds forever, even after she's had his three kids?
I'm NOT meaning this in a judgmental or critical way--I am genuinely curious as to what our CC Singles have to say. When I was in my teens, I worked at a Mickey D's, and one of the guys there was engaged to a girl who was pregnant with his child--during which time, he began an affair with a younger, very thin girl--because he said he wasn't attracted to his fiancee in her pregnant condition.
I also read a heartbreaking article the other day about a young woman who was hospitalized for anorexia while pregnant. She was terrified of gaining any weight with the pregnancy and in serious danger of losing the baby.
I was once married to a guy who wanted to be a personal trainer--I loved that he took me along to the gym (no pressure, I asked to go) and taught me how to use the free weights and machines. When I met him, he had 8-pack abs (vs. a 6-pack)... but he was also around a lot of perfect bodies. We went through a time in our marriage when he said he was less attracted to me because I had put on 5 lbs. (no exaggeration, but I'm short, so 5 lbs. can look like a lot.) Eventually, he did leave for someone taller and thinner.
I hope this doesn't sound shallow or condemning, but to be honest, and because of other self-esteem issues, I can very much sympathize with women who are scared to become pregnant. Deep down, I would probably have that fear as well. I would think, "OH NO!! Pregnancy=extra weight=rejection=he will leave me for someone else."
Now, I am NOT trying to condemn anyone who is attracted to fit, thinner bodies. I think in many cases, this is what almost all of us would prefer. But I also think that for many people, personality really is tops. My first boyfriend was probably 30 pounds overweight but had a beautiful heart and gorgeous eyes, so I know we are all attracted to different things for different reasons.
However, realistically, I'm curious... about what the guys think, especially. I mean, if you find extra body weight unattractive, how will you cope with the fact that in 10 years or more, your "maybe-she's-thin-now" wife may have an extra 30 pounds she can't seem to lose after having the children God gives you? Could it be possible that God hasn't given you "the one" yet because He knows at this point, you would leave her or reject her for someone else if she gained weight in the future? I don't mean this in a critical way--I am genuinely interested in the answers.
I am CERTAINLY NOT SAYING that women are somehow perfect--perhaps we'll talk about the "other side" in a different thread. But for now... I'd really like to know how men who loathe heavier bodies feel about the state of a woman who is pregnant... and the fact that the weight will not disappear in a month or two, even after she's had the baby.
The poll is anonymous... so feel free to give your most honest answers... and feel free to comment as well in a post.
After reading some of the threads going on here, I have to ask a question: if a man is not attracted to overweight women, what is he going to do when she gains 35 pounds or more while carrying each of his children? Does he expect that she's going to weigh 110 pounds forever, even after she's had his three kids?
I'm NOT meaning this in a judgmental or critical way--I am genuinely curious as to what our CC Singles have to say. When I was in my teens, I worked at a Mickey D's, and one of the guys there was engaged to a girl who was pregnant with his child--during which time, he began an affair with a younger, very thin girl--because he said he wasn't attracted to his fiancee in her pregnant condition.
I also read a heartbreaking article the other day about a young woman who was hospitalized for anorexia while pregnant. She was terrified of gaining any weight with the pregnancy and in serious danger of losing the baby.
I was once married to a guy who wanted to be a personal trainer--I loved that he took me along to the gym (no pressure, I asked to go) and taught me how to use the free weights and machines. When I met him, he had 8-pack abs (vs. a 6-pack)... but he was also around a lot of perfect bodies. We went through a time in our marriage when he said he was less attracted to me because I had put on 5 lbs. (no exaggeration, but I'm short, so 5 lbs. can look like a lot.) Eventually, he did leave for someone taller and thinner.
I hope this doesn't sound shallow or condemning, but to be honest, and because of other self-esteem issues, I can very much sympathize with women who are scared to become pregnant. Deep down, I would probably have that fear as well. I would think, "OH NO!! Pregnancy=extra weight=rejection=he will leave me for someone else."
Now, I am NOT trying to condemn anyone who is attracted to fit, thinner bodies. I think in many cases, this is what almost all of us would prefer. But I also think that for many people, personality really is tops. My first boyfriend was probably 30 pounds overweight but had a beautiful heart and gorgeous eyes, so I know we are all attracted to different things for different reasons.
However, realistically, I'm curious... about what the guys think, especially. I mean, if you find extra body weight unattractive, how will you cope with the fact that in 10 years or more, your "maybe-she's-thin-now" wife may have an extra 30 pounds she can't seem to lose after having the children God gives you? Could it be possible that God hasn't given you "the one" yet because He knows at this point, you would leave her or reject her for someone else if she gained weight in the future? I don't mean this in a critical way--I am genuinely interested in the answers.
I am CERTAINLY NOT SAYING that women are somehow perfect--perhaps we'll talk about the "other side" in a different thread. But for now... I'd really like to know how men who loathe heavier bodies feel about the state of a woman who is pregnant... and the fact that the weight will not disappear in a month or two, even after she's had the baby.
The poll is anonymous... so feel free to give your most honest answers... and feel free to comment as well in a post.
That's a cakewalk. 
