Contemplating giving up on love...

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T

The_boy

Guest
#1
#1
Because frankly, I've had enough of being rejected, enough of being played with, enough of being treated like crap and enough of the fake sympathy BULLCRAP that women show when they reject me. I'm lonely and I've asked pretty much every girl I know to try dating me and it's either outright rejection or "I don't want to risk ruining a good friendship." AND, I might add, since they never have anything BAD to say about me why on God's green earth why won't they give me a chance anyway!?!?!?!
 
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RightBelieving

Banned
#2
Oct 31, 2011
13
1
0
#2
Maybe change the shirt color....

Try to develop a spiritual life, I dunno.
 
LightningClap0002

LightningClap0002

Senior Member
#3
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#3
The_boy said:
Because frankly, I've had enough of being rejected, enough of being played with, enough of being treated like crap and enough of the fake sympathy BULLCRAP that women show when they reject me. I'm lonely and I've asked pretty much every girl I know to try dating me and it's either outright rejection or "I don't want to risk ruining a good friendship." AND, I might add, since they never have anything BAD to say about me why on God's green earth why won't they give me a chance anyway!?!?!?!
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Sounds like you're looking for love in the wrong place. If you seek love, seek God; God is love.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love - 1 John 4:8

Don't worry about finding a woman, God will provide.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:33-34
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#4
#4
LightningClap0002 said:
Sounds like you're looking for love in the wrong place. If you seek love, seek God; God is love.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love - 1 John 4:8

Don't worry about finding a woman, God will provide.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:33-34
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Good words here by lightning, good things given for seeking God, the best things and, often things that are, literally, surprisingly great for enhancing our life.
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Now, when I was your age many moons ago , I too was seeking girls, and, never been married I should say, before I go on, but then I went to a christian bookstore and was looking for ways to ask out a girl God's way etc. and what God showed me was most interesting....In so many words, through one of the books in this christian bookstore, God said, 'Don't focus on getting to know a girl and marriage (I was thinking about not just going out) .'

So, anyway, theboy, my teenage mutant ninja turtles liking friend, God bless you for your wanting a girl and having the patience and longsuffering (both gifts of the Spirit) to not get caught up thinking so much on her, instead, focusing on Him (God). :)
 
T

The_boy

Guest
#5
#5
Ummmm... How did Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles get in there?
 
TheAristocat

TheAristocat

Senior Member
#6
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
26
0
#6
The_boy said:
Ummmm... How did Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles get in there?
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lol probably thought your shirt was tmnt. anyway, they probably aren't giving you any reasons for turning you down because they're your friend and like you as a friend but only as a friend and don't want to lose you as a friend. if they gave you reasons maybe they think you'd be hurt and reject them as friends. so just check out some self-help books on women. i read one once that was pretty interesting. if you know nothing about them (as did i) then they can help to understand them. there's one book called Captivating. 看一下
 
L

LisaM

Guest
#7
#7
I know exactly how you feel. I think i have aready given up. My heart is so broken and it seems as if the Lord does not hear me. To be honest I dont even have faith anymore. Too many times i have believed and ask with no response.

It feels like he has just turned his back and abandoned me. I have lived by his word and yet i remain alone and loney. where is God now?
Why is it that my widowed friend could be on husband #2 and i cant even get a boyfriend?

I feel hurt and bitter and angry.
 
TheAristocat

TheAristocat

Senior Member
#8
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
26
0
#8
LisaM said:
I know exactly how you feel. I think i have aready given up. My heart is so broken and it seems as if the Lord does not hear me. To be honest I dont even have faith anymore. Too many times i have believed and ask with no response.

It feels like he has just turned his back and abandoned me. I have lived by his word and yet i remain alone and loney. where is God now?
Why is it that my widowed friend could be on husband #2 and i cant even get a boyfriend?

I feel hurt and bitter and angry.
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wear fewer clothes. it gets them every time. :D

though probably not the right kind...
 
M

Matthew

Guest
#9
#9
The_boy said:
I'm lonely and I've asked pretty much every girl I know to try dating me and it's either outright rejection or "I don't want to risk ruining a good friendship." AND, I might add, since they never have anything BAD to say about me why on God's green earth why won't they give me a chance anyway!?!?!?!
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If you have asked all or nearly all the girls you know for a date because you are lonely, stop and consider if you are doing it for the right reason.
What I mean is dating is something you do because you feel a connection with a woman and want to get to know her better and see what else might develop between you, it isn't something you do just so you are not alone. That is basically casual dating to fill a hole and while it helps to silence lonliness it ends up leaving a deeper hole.

I understand your frustration with sympathetic rejections, the whole 'let's not ruin a good friendship' is often a way of saying 'I just don't find you attractive', frankly I appreciate hearing it the first way, because I get the message just the same and I appreciate a little bit of kindness.

I know it's hard to be lonely, especially if there are relationships going on around you, what you can do is minimise the pain of rejection you suffer by not asking women for dates unless you really feel they are truly special, and with respect I doubt almost every girl you know is someone you could have seen marrying one day.
 
C

CHCSurvivor

Guest
#10
#10
Lisa,

I feel your pain. Everywhere I look there are people I know getting married, engaged, into relationships, etc. Most of the guys I come in contact with don't even care to give me the time of day, let alone a second glance. The ones that I really form a connection with are unfortunately non-Christian. It tends to leave a person feeling unloved and unworthy. But take heart, Lisa - I believe that in His due time, God has someone special appointed just for us that is right for us and right in Him. Until that day comes, I am okay being single :)
 
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LisaM

Guest
#11
#11
CHCSurvivor said:
Lisa,

I feel your pain. Everywhere I look there are people I know getting married, engaged, into relationships, etc. Most of the guys I come in contact with don't even care to give me the time of day, let alone a second glance. The ones that I really form a connection with are unfortunately non-Christian. It tends to leave a person feeling unloved and unworthy. But take heart, Lisa - I believe that in His due time, God has someone special appointed just for us that is right for us and right in Him. Until that day comes, I am okay being single :)
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There was a time when i felt that way too. I had my whole life ahead of me to think about babies and and a husband, so why rush. But now time is just slipping by and nothing has happened. all I have to show for the years is a heart broken many times over.
 
F

freelancer

Banned
#12
Jul 17, 2011
5
0
0
#12
Is it just me? OR do you see so many single people/christians more than ever. Something were not doing right! My conclusion is simple now, stop chasing after what you want leave it to the lord and HAVE faith that he will make it better than anything you can imagine.

I don't think God wants us to be lonely for why would he give Adam a Eve?
 
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LisaM

Guest
#13
#13
freelancer said:
Is it just me? OR do you see so many single people/christians more than ever. Something were not doing right! My conclusion is simple now, stop chasing after what you want leave it to the lord and HAVE faith that he will make it better than anything you can imagine.

I don't think God wants us to be lonely for why would he give Adam a Eve?
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Faith. how long can you continue to believe in something without some kind of sign that he is at least hearing u?
 
Bridget_Left_China

Bridget_Left_China

Senior Member
#14
Oct 7, 2011
344
12
18
#14
Silence from God is also an answer. It's usually "Shhh. Wait on Me." or... It's the dreaded "No." Either way.. God IS hearing you. You are just impatiently expecting an answer in your time. God's ways are not our ways. Be patient beloved!
 
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LisaM

Guest
#15
#15
Bridget_Left_China said:
Silence from God is also an answer. It's usually "Shhh. Wait on Me." or... It's the dreaded "No." Either way.. God IS hearing you. You are just impatiently expecting an answer in your time. God's ways are not our ways. Be patient beloved!
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I dont think its impatience when I have been waiting for the past 15 yrs. I want kids. I will be 38 in a couple of weeks. So I don't think its my timing but what he has created in us. As women we only have so long b4 we stop having children.
 
Bridget_Left_China

Bridget_Left_China

Senior Member
#16
Oct 7, 2011
344
12
18
#16
I understand that.. I am also 37, a virgin, and also patiently awaiting the man God has for me. Many days I fluctuate between being "content to be single", and crying out to God to "Please bring me my husband!" I get it! I am right there with you. I don't understand why my mother has been married 4 times and I haven't dated anyone in 11 years. My understanding of God's ways, as a human, is woefully inept! I don't know why He doesn't give me what I desire, but I do know I've not always been faithful to keep God and His glory first and foremost in my life. It sounds like you, just like me, have been putting your search for a mate/your happiness/etc. in front of God. I have also been guilty of this! We must seek with all our heart to Glorify God in all we do, and this means to replace our desires with the desire to further His kingdom. Only then will we be in a place for God to give us the desires of our heart.
 
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LisaM

Guest
#17
#17
Bridget_Left_China said:
I understand that.. I am also 37, a virgin, and also patiently awaiting the man God has for me. Many days I fluctuate between being "content to be single", and crying out to God to "Please bring me my husband!" I get it! I am right there with you. I don't understand why my mother has been married 4 times and I haven't dated anyone in 11 years. My understanding of God's ways, as a human, is woefully inept! I don't know why He doesn't give me what I desire, but I do know I've not always been faithful to keep God and His glory first and foremost in my life. It sounds like you, just like me, have been putting your search for a mate/your happiness/etc. in front of God. I have also been guilty of this! We must seek with all our heart to Glorify God in all we do, and this means to replace our desires with the desire to further His kingdom. Only then will we be in a place for God to give us the desires of our heart.
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idk about you but i grew up in church. I will admit that at one point in time when I was younger that I was in a backslidden condition, but that was not so much as turning away from god and my beliefs as much as I was not going to church due to working 7 days a week literally. During that time I was involved with someone who was and still is not a christian. My beliefs would not allow me to continue that relationship and I broke it off. I came back to God and church at that time. Since then i have done my best to server him with all that i am. I taught sunday school untill it conflicted with my other ministry and had to chose. I am an usher in chruch. I try to live by his word and but right now I feel as if he has abandoned me. How many times can you continue to hear no, or have him silent to your prayers?
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#18
#18
Ok look.. real talk here.

You sound totally desperate, women pick up on desperate. We dont like desperate. I mean come on now you asked every girl you know to date you... if any of those girls are friends there gonna talk, there gonna know you just asked out one of them then the next however long later. So of course there saying no!!
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#19
#19
TheAristocat said:
lol probably thought your shirt was tmnt. anyway, they probably aren't giving you any reasons for turning you down because they're your friend and like you as a friend but only as a friend and don't want to lose you as a friend. if they gave you reasons maybe they think you'd be hurt and reject them as friends. so just check out some self-help books on women. i read one once that was pretty interesting. if you know nothing about them (as did i) then they can help to understand them. there's one book called Captivating. 看一下
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Yes, aristocatcrat, hits the nail on the head here, IF you want to understand girls better read a christian book that is meant to help them. Cuz it can help you too :D. Or, better yet, just go to your church singles,group and go with JUST THE INTENTION TO MEET SOME GIRL TO TALK TO HER. Just go with very limited intentions, pray to God before you go to give you a situation good to learn more about girls' ways. The Lord leads...

And, if the situation don't work out, maybe as Mattyman, says, the situation is not right and you are in this wanting to be with a girl before God has you ready.

Sorry, yelling, I was stuck on caps and I do most my posting on a MyTouch4G so the micro-screen gets the best of me sometimes.

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Teenage mutant ninja turtles, I called you, dude (LOL) because when we did the nickname game theboy (that's you, btw :D ) told me that your nickname was something or other about the green shelled karate kids. :)
 
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TheAristocat

TheAristocat

Senior Member
#20
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
26
0
#20
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
Ok look.. real talk here.

You sound totally desperate, women pick up on desperate. We dont like desperate. I mean come on now you asked every girl you know to date you... if any of those girls are friends there gonna talk, there gonna know you just asked out one of them then the next however long later. So of course there saying no!!
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lol I've often wondered about that. I think word's gettin' around about me here. :D
 
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