Dating older men...

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Oct 11, 2012
1,026
10
38
#1
How does everyone feel about a young woman dating an older man?

How about a young man dating an older woman?
Is one more accepted than the other? Or is it wrong no matter what?
 
M

Miss23

Guest
#2
well i think its ok.. if you date an older man but not too old.. i meant just like 10 years old.. i think if you date someone with more than 10 years older or 10 years younger that you.. would be kinda difficult because its a lot of difference between both.. also it would be different mentalities.. although for some people can works! :)
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#3
Once a person is in their early 20's, they can pretty much date whatever age adult they want.

How do "I" personally feel about that?
Well, I don't see how that's any of their business what I think of their relationship. I'm a stranger. They're the ones in love who know the full story.

I'm going to be really open and honest here. Say hypothetically, if some really young woman I knew ended up marrying a really really old guy (like 30 years difference or more), I might be like "WHOA!!" at first and perhaps chuckle at it to myself in private.
But it isn't my life!! They shouldn't care what people like me think if they are happy! And I would respect them for not caring.
If she were someone I were really close friends with, I'd adjust to it and be happy for them as long as they were both happy. :)

It should only matter what the people involved think,
and as long as one is not taking advantage of the other for being naive, I don't see a problem with it.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Oct 11, 2012
1,026
10
38
#4
I agree, and that is a very open-minded way of looking at it. How to do you think the majority of people look at it?
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#5
If they are both adults it's not inherently wrong, but I tend to be a little taken aback when I see a couple where the girl is in her young twenties and the man is older than my father. It's hard not to notice. The older you both get, though, the less age matters. I don't see a lot of couples where the man is significantly younger, to be honest, I can't think of any, other than on tv. It's more accepted when the girl is younger because historically, men are the breadwinners, support the family, etc. Its also more accepted when the girl is younger because she has a smaller window of opportunity to reproduce.

I can't see myself submitting to a man who is younger than me or even my same age...I am naturally a leader in a lot of situations, and I want someone who can lead and challenge me, has their act together, who can be serious and socially appropriate when its necessary (and completely goofy when its not necessary)...I want a strong, manly man (haha), not someone who makes me feel like I have to make all the decisions. Anyone close to my father's age or older, I draw the line..too strange for me, but some ladies are into it.

Many inter-generational relationships work out well, but people will always be curious when there's a real visible age gap. Its not my place to call someone out on a huge age difference, and its not very tactful...if God is the center of the relationship, then everything else doesn't matter.
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#6
If you want to know what the majority of people think..

There's a common notion that the younger girl is a gold digger, the older guy is a pervert
Or the notion that older 'cougar' woman is desperate, while the younger guy is a pervert, somehow emasculated, or some kind of player.
 
N

nukreation

Guest
#7
My girlfriend is 31 so that's 11 years. So far so good.
 
Oct 11, 2012
1,026
10
38
#8
Okay, then as you get older, is the age gap more acceptable?

Instead of a 18 year old and a 30 year old

is a 30 and a 42 year old better?
 
N

nukreation

Guest
#9
Okay, then as you get older, is the age gap more acceptable?

Instead of a 18 year old and a 30 year old

is a 30 and a 42 year old better?
At highschool I wouldn't even go out with a girl in a different year, but we generally only socialised with our own year.


Nowadays most the 40 year olds are all married so most my friends are in their 30's so it didn't come as a surprise to me that I'm going out with a 31 year old.
 

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
40
48
#10
Honestly, it's difficult to say. Culturally, some places accept it while others shun it.

Age does matter, though, for several reasons. Maturity, place in life, medical reasons, and more...

Though I would say both are looked upon somewhat negatively here in the US, a guy being with an older woman is more unusual than the opposite. I not saying it is or isn't right, but just seems to be the case.

My parents have...hmm...let me see...ah...I believe it's like a 6 year difference, and several people over the years have raised an eyebrow to that. It doesn't seem as big a deal later in life, but the short side of 40s makes people think.

Anyway, getting to the 'how do you feel about it' part...I suppose it depends on the situation. I've seen it be good and bad. I do believe you shouldn't date/marry someone old enough to be your parent (or young enough to be your child). Something seems wrong about that to me.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#11
There was an interesting math formula floating around these forums awhile ago that was supposed to calculate what was considered an 'acceptable' age range for dating according to each person's age. I don't have time to look for it right now.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#12
I think its right, the older you are, the more commonly accepted the larger age gaps are. For me personally my age range to date is 10 years younger, or 5 years older. Though when i was younger i did date a woman 11 years older, and another who was 10 year older.
But for others, i think it mostly doesn't matter, though if the age gap becomes too big i may wonder.
 
Oct 11, 2012
1,026
10
38
#13
I think it is really interesting to hear what everyone has to say about this. Just sayin'.
 
Jul 25, 2012
1,904
24
0
#14
How does everyone feel about a young woman dating an older man?

How about a young man dating an older woman?
Is one more accepted than the other? Or is it wrong no matter what?
I'm okay with with it.
I'm... with it.
I dunno.
I'm not sure.
 
Oct 11, 2012
1,026
10
38
#15
Okay, let's dive a little deeper.

What if the two people in question are of different races?

Does that make a difference?

For example- a Caucasian 18 year old and a African American 30 year old opposed to a white 18 year old and a white 30 year old?

Or with the roles reversed? Asian, Hispanic, does any of it make a difference if the couples were interracial?
 
Jul 25, 2012
1,904
24
0
#16
Okay, let's dive a little deeper.

What if the two people in question are of different races?

Does that make a difference?

For example- a Caucasian 18 year old and a African American 30 year old opposed to a white 18 year old and a white 30 year old?

Or with the roles reversed? Asian, Hispanic, does any of it make a difference if the couples were interracial?
Ok.

I'm okay with it.

I dunno.

Concerning both your questions, I'm only going to assume that it will be based on the personal preference of said persons.
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#17
I dont mind either way. To each their own. I actually prefer older women than myself.
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#18
Okay, then as you get older, is the age gap more acceptable?

Instead of a 18 year old and a 30 year old

is a 30 and a 42 year old better?
12 years apart doesn't seem like that huge of an age gap to me. ^

If I had wanted to date a 30 year old man at 18, my dad would have freaked out though. :p
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#19
Okay, let's dive a little deeper.

What if the two people in question are of different races?

Does that make a difference?

For example- a Caucasian 18 year old and a African American 30 year old opposed to a white 18 year old and a white 30 year old?

Or with the roles reversed? Asian, Hispanic, does any of it make a difference if the couples were interracial?
I am trying really hard to think if that would make a difference, and I don't think it does. Many couples have different racial backgrounds, especially nowadays with internet dating sites being so commonly used. So I don't see how that would make a difference, unless maybe you live in a slightly racist town or something.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#20
I don't really notice the age differences of other couples unless it's extreme. I might wonder about it for a second or two, but it's really none of my business. I would imagine it to be difficult for them though.

I've always been more comfortable with guys who were 5-10 years older. I think I've lived too much to be with someone younger, but I wouldn't rule it out completely.
 
Last edited by a moderator: