Dating older men...
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N
I think the main consideration of nationality is the culture that goes with it, for example western culture tends to be slightly less family orientated than other cultures.
It actually seems like more of my friends are in interracial relationships than not, but then I live in a very multicultural city.
It's hard to plan for setting age and nationality preferences because you don't know who you're going to meet, and we don't all carry around our age everywhere we go like we do here at CC.
My girlfriend, though born here has African parents. Not something I planned for, but we met and just really hit it off. I'm actually more scared of meeting the family than I normally would be, but other than that, seems no different to dating a western girl.
It actually seems like more of my friends are in interracial relationships than not, but then I live in a very multicultural city.
It's hard to plan for setting age and nationality preferences because you don't know who you're going to meet, and we don't all carry around our age everywhere we go like we do here at CC.
My girlfriend, though born here has African parents. Not something I planned for, but we met and just really hit it off. I'm actually more scared of meeting the family than I normally would be, but other than that, seems no different to dating a western girl.
D
I think that most people who date older people are trying to relive their own lives over , trying to get those old (new) feelings back. It is kind of like when you ask someone ,today, who grew up in the 70, what kind of music they like best most will say the music they grew up on. Why? because thats when they felt most alive, things were so new and so many more things to discover.I am 46 and have no business dateing anyone in the 20,s . it just wont last the bible says not to be unequaly yoked.
M
As a Christian we should take things from a biblical perspective and ask Gods opinion as opposed to the opinion of the world
Lest we then are intertwining worldly "opinions" into our Christian walk with Christ and expecting somehow to benefit
Show me where in the bible it places an age restriction or guidline between two spouses and then a debate may be considered
otherwise I dont feel it wise to consider a debate for or against based upon opinions of the world or peoples own feelings of how others shld engage into a relationship for themselves thereby placing their own views upon others as well as transferring their own issues to others.
All I remember reading is its best to be equally yoked and for the two to be willing to dwell with one another.
As far as any difficulties, any relationship takes effort and doesnt prosper on its own accord without being nurtured by God and the two involved
A strand of 3 chords is not easily broken
Lest we then are intertwining worldly "opinions" into our Christian walk with Christ and expecting somehow to benefit
Show me where in the bible it places an age restriction or guidline between two spouses and then a debate may be considered
otherwise I dont feel it wise to consider a debate for or against based upon opinions of the world or peoples own feelings of how others shld engage into a relationship for themselves thereby placing their own views upon others as well as transferring their own issues to others.
All I remember reading is its best to be equally yoked and for the two to be willing to dwell with one another.
As far as any difficulties, any relationship takes effort and doesnt prosper on its own accord without being nurtured by God and the two involved
A strand of 3 chords is not easily broken
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J
I would imagine many men in scripture to have had wives who were much younger, especially guys like Solomon who had 700 of them. While we aren't under the law, here's a situation where a woman would have married a man MUCH younger according to the law:
Genesis 38
38 At that time, Judah left his brothers and went down to stay with a man of Adullam named Hirah. 2 There Judah met the daughter of a Canaanite man named Shua. He married her and made love to her; 3 she became pregnant and gave birth to a son, who was named Er. 4 She conceived again and gave birth to a son and named him Onan. 5 She gave birth to still another son and named him Shelah. It was at Kezib that she gave birth to him.
6 Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. 7 But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death.
8 Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.” 9 But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death also.
11 Judah then said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Live as a widow in your father’s household until my son Shelah grows up.” For he thought, “He may die too, just like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father’s household.
Genesis 38
38 At that time, Judah left his brothers and went down to stay with a man of Adullam named Hirah. 2 There Judah met the daughter of a Canaanite man named Shua. He married her and made love to her; 3 she became pregnant and gave birth to a son, who was named Er. 4 She conceived again and gave birth to a son and named him Onan. 5 She gave birth to still another son and named him Shelah. It was at Kezib that she gave birth to him.
6 Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. 7 But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death.
8 Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.” 9 But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death also.
11 Judah then said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Live as a widow in your father’s household until my son Shelah grows up.” For he thought, “He may die too, just like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father’s household.
C
Yes, I agree with the minimum age being 20/21.
The other thing that I would recommend is for a couple to consider generational disparities. There are pros and cons of marrying someone older or younger than yourself - culture, health, upbringing, interests, life stage etc
The other thought I have, is making sure you're not wanting to date/marry that person out of some separate agenda of your own. That is selfish on your part and unfair to the other person. eg dating an older man because he has fatherly qualities that you missed out on as a kid. The last thing you want is for the relationship to be geared in a child/parental way not an adult/adult way.
Theres never a black and white case if these things are considered properly
Personally I am married to a wonderful man who is 12 years older than myself. He was born in the late 70s, I the late 80s. He grew up listening to 60s croon music from his Dad, I grew up listening to my Moms Celine Dion and Enya albums. When I was lip syncing to the Backstreet boys into my hairbrush as a kid, he was already in karaoke bars singing the same stuff. My husband and I don't feel our ages are obvious with our personalities so complementary of each other, however when we first started dating each other and he first told me his medical history (which has a variety of old and current and future issues) I knew I was either going to have to reconcile with his health stuff and be prepared for it later or break up with him. It means that at some point in the future he will need spine surgery, a knee replacement and cataract surgery. This means, if he ends up in a wheelchair, for better or for worse I will serve him. I guess the other obvious stuff is that Im quite young looking with my blonde hair and young face and my husband has a receding hairline and a single wrinkle/dent on his forehead which crunches in a cute way when he focuses while wearing his glasses.
The other major thing is that my husband loves Jesus - period. And he treats me like a queen and as his equal. Thats good enough for me.
The other thing that I would recommend is for a couple to consider generational disparities. There are pros and cons of marrying someone older or younger than yourself - culture, health, upbringing, interests, life stage etc
The other thought I have, is making sure you're not wanting to date/marry that person out of some separate agenda of your own. That is selfish on your part and unfair to the other person. eg dating an older man because he has fatherly qualities that you missed out on as a kid. The last thing you want is for the relationship to be geared in a child/parental way not an adult/adult way.
Theres never a black and white case if these things are considered properly
Personally I am married to a wonderful man who is 12 years older than myself. He was born in the late 70s, I the late 80s. He grew up listening to 60s croon music from his Dad, I grew up listening to my Moms Celine Dion and Enya albums. When I was lip syncing to the Backstreet boys into my hairbrush as a kid, he was already in karaoke bars singing the same stuff. My husband and I don't feel our ages are obvious with our personalities so complementary of each other, however when we first started dating each other and he first told me his medical history (which has a variety of old and current and future issues) I knew I was either going to have to reconcile with his health stuff and be prepared for it later or break up with him. It means that at some point in the future he will need spine surgery, a knee replacement and cataract surgery. This means, if he ends up in a wheelchair, for better or for worse I will serve him. I guess the other obvious stuff is that Im quite young looking with my blonde hair and young face and my husband has a receding hairline and a single wrinkle/dent on his forehead which crunches in a cute way when he focuses while wearing his glasses.
The other major thing is that my husband loves Jesus - period. And he treats me like a queen and as his equal. Thats good enough for me.
M
Granted, hence the reason I chose to attempt to keep the discussion grounded in Gods beliefs as opposed to our own before it turned into a debate as so many threads seem to do.
Many people fish for beliefs of others until they find one that suits them which is tickling of the ears.
Our thoughts should be his thoughts since we are called to deny ourself, not just a little bit or as much as we feel comfy with but completely.
Some people feel this way regarding the issue while others feel the other yet where would be the scriptural background to back age or race?
Biblically in this particular circumstance, I see none other than following the laws of the land
Any other opinion is negligent
Every belief we have should stem from the bible
"Stem from" as in grafted, such as into a vine of some sort
Many people fish for beliefs of others until they find one that suits them which is tickling of the ears.
Our thoughts should be his thoughts since we are called to deny ourself, not just a little bit or as much as we feel comfy with but completely.
Some people feel this way regarding the issue while others feel the other yet where would be the scriptural background to back age or race?
Biblically in this particular circumstance, I see none other than following the laws of the land
Any other opinion is negligent
Every belief we have should stem from the bible
"Stem from" as in grafted, such as into a vine of some sort
M
Correct me if Im wrong Ugly, cuz Im not saying Im right, but if I am Im offering you a chance to clarify as crystal clearly as youre able to that it appears as though you're calling me out on something unscriptural, yet by your own accusations against myself are stating I am attempting to as you so call it
"force spirituality into the discussion"
I dont feel I had been forceful as of yet, but I will be now.
Your statement of calling me a problem seems forceful in and of itself
As well your own words of my attempt to keep things steered biblically and spiritually on a christian site seem to offend you in some manner.
Is that your goal? to try and keep things steered away from scriptural and biblically on a Christian site?
Because as of yet only your own opinions make yourself wise in your own eyes without basing it upon scripture
Do you recall the lady who antagonized Paul in Acts 16, do you see what ur doing?
Ive already had mercy on you once,
So If you are calling me out on something, I sure hope you dont mind if I defend myself
And if you are calling me out on something , then by all means call me out
Otherwise Im going to give you one chance to come back and make a sincere public apology so that you dont embarrass yourself in front of everybody or I can expose you right here and then have you kicked off this site immediately afterward
Your choice sir
"force spirituality into the discussion"
I dont feel I had been forceful as of yet, but I will be now.
Your statement of calling me a problem seems forceful in and of itself
As well your own words of my attempt to keep things steered biblically and spiritually on a christian site seem to offend you in some manner.
Is that your goal? to try and keep things steered away from scriptural and biblically on a Christian site?
Because as of yet only your own opinions make yourself wise in your own eyes without basing it upon scripture
Do you recall the lady who antagonized Paul in Acts 16, do you see what ur doing?
Ive already had mercy on you once,
So If you are calling me out on something, I sure hope you dont mind if I defend myself
And if you are calling me out on something , then by all means call me out
Otherwise Im going to give you one chance to come back and make a sincere public apology so that you dont embarrass yourself in front of everybody or I can expose you right here and then have you kicked off this site immediately afterward
Your choice sir
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A
There are many ways to dig for gold in this world and relationships certainly are one that some choose. That said, I've met a couple of young women who just didn't fit that mold who had married older men.
One was a single mother that was a receptionist for a large real estate company. She married a man fifteen years older than her while she was in her twenties.
The man she married was an automobile salesman that lived in in her apartment complex. I know... it looks like the start of a slow motion train wreck lolol. That's what I thought was going to happen too.
BUT, they proved me wrong. They started as friends and this guy made himself available to help her in any way he could. He obviously was in love and willing to commit. In time, she fell in love with him too and they got married. They are a family today many years later and they both still work to pay the bills.
I don't advocate for this and would advise anyone thinking of marrying someone outside of their age range to give it serious consideration with an eye for not going there. The U.S. Census Bureau doesn't collect these types of statistics but the UK government does. When we look at the UK reports (such as 'Age differences at marriage and divorce' by the UK Office of National Statistics), we find these marriages fail at a greater rate.
BUT, I have to admit, that I have seen it work before in a couple of cases and in both cases where it did work: it worked out really well. In neither case; however, was the relationship fueled by one partner's material wealth and the other partner's desire to share in it.
One was a single mother that was a receptionist for a large real estate company. She married a man fifteen years older than her while she was in her twenties.
The man she married was an automobile salesman that lived in in her apartment complex. I know... it looks like the start of a slow motion train wreck lolol. That's what I thought was going to happen too.
BUT, they proved me wrong. They started as friends and this guy made himself available to help her in any way he could. He obviously was in love and willing to commit. In time, she fell in love with him too and they got married. They are a family today many years later and they both still work to pay the bills.
I don't advocate for this and would advise anyone thinking of marrying someone outside of their age range to give it serious consideration with an eye for not going there. The U.S. Census Bureau doesn't collect these types of statistics but the UK government does. When we look at the UK reports (such as 'Age differences at marriage and divorce' by the UK Office of National Statistics), we find these marriages fail at a greater rate.
BUT, I have to admit, that I have seen it work before in a couple of cases and in both cases where it did work: it worked out really well. In neither case; however, was the relationship fueled by one partner's material wealth and the other partner's desire to share in it.