Introverts vs Extroverts and the society standard

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
eugenius

eugenius

Senior Member
#1
Jul 17, 2009
491
9
18
#1
I posted this in the singles forum because of the popular notion that everyone (especially women) seek an extrovert for a spouse. This makes 1/3 of the population feel like something is wrong with them.

 I just saw a very interesting video. An analysis of extroverts and introverts and the fact that society pushes extroversion down everyone's throat. Especially in American culture. I find this to be very true.

The link is below. Watch it and comment please.

The Power of Introverts - Ep 1 - YouTube


I am very introverted. All my life people have been telling me that something is wrong with me. Youre too quiet. You never smile. You think too much. You are too serious. Life is short, quit thinking about the future (wink for Christians). Smile when you are unhappy. Pretend to be happy.

Put down that philosophy book. Stop solving those physics equations. Be loud. Be annoying. Act stupid. Act like a clown. Do these things and people will love you, women will throw themselves at you, and you will be happy.

This is very true in the idea of the American contemporary church. Everything is based on you singing and dancing and shouting. If God forbid you rather spend time analyzing the ideas in the bible in a quiet setting, you are not a real Christian. You do not have the spirit of God in you.

This was well said by Ravi Zacharias in a lecture he did.

Study your religion first before making such conclusion. UNITY in belief does not necessarily mean UNIFORMITY of expression

We believe as a diverse being created in the image of God, we are an individual with different personalities, expressions, likings. Ex: Some christians are happy-clappy type while some prefer a solemn worship. What's important is not the label on the bottle but what's inside of it. We Christians united in the same Spirit and we believe on the same Savior.
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
eugenius

eugenius

Senior Member
#2
Jul 17, 2009
491
9
18
#2
Oh and yea. In high school I took society's advice. I became the class clown. I pretended to be extroverted. I tried really hard. I acted like a complete moron. Everyone in school knew me. Everyone said hello. For a second it felt like I have friends. But in reality people were laughing at me. Nobody actually liked me. I didn't have real friends.

And what else happened? I had horrible grades. I learned absolutely nothing. I had to go to community college and re-learn algebra 1 and move my way up to where I am now.

I regret taking society's advice. I should have continued being an introvert, spent all my time in the library, got good grades. I would have graduated from college 4 years ago instead of still finishing at 26.

Moral of the story. Be yourself. Be a geek and be proud.
 
Z

Zork

Guest
#3
#3
I'm introverted too, and I share your feelings about feeling like I don't fit in.

I think girls.. or atleast most girls have 1 common thing that they want in a guy and that is... funny... usually in thier lists of qualities.. funny usually takes a top ranking.

That makes me feel like I'm not good enough for most girls.

I'm not a funny guy. I'm quiet, serious and think a lot. I can be goofy online.. but what good is that in the real world, where it counts. (sigh) I just avoid girls who are goofy and obviously extrovert now a days... I'm sorry this really does bother me.


It sucks but whatever I do notice there are girls that don't put that up on their lists so that helps.
 
eugenius

eugenius

Senior Member
#4
Jul 17, 2009
491
9
18
#4
Yea youre right Zork. But how will a husband "being funny and making them laugh" help when they need a MAN to be serious about life, go out and provide for his family.

I think little girls want a clown, while women want someone serious about life. Its time to start seeking women, not little girls.

Don't get me wrong. I love to laugh and joke around. But I'm going to do it when I want to, not when people tell me to.
 
Z

Zork

Guest
#5
#5
eugenius said:
Yea youre right Zork. But how will a husband "being funny and making them laugh" help when they need a MAN to be serious about life, go out and provide for his family.

I think little girls want a clown, while women want someone serious about life. Its time to start seeking women, not little girls.

Don't get me wrong. I love to laugh and joke around. But I'm going to do it when I want to, not when people tell me to.
Click to expand...

I can't help but think your being a tad prideful with how you said that. I don't think it's a good idea to be proud of our introverted-ness either. I think without God, being an introvert or extrovert... doesn't matter you'd be horrible. I sometimes feel like --Bleep!--anyways tho... I go to a Christian church and yes I'm CHristian just like most people there but I still sorta feel like most people are not like me. And it's like... its nobodies fault... it's something like... being a black person going into a white people only church. Not being racist, just giving you a picture about how it feels.

There's introverted girls... but it still hurts practically knowing most girls wouldnt like me, just a few.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
P

piper27

Guest
#6
#6
This was well said by Ravi Zacharias in a lecture he did.


Quote:
Study your religion first before making such conclusion. UNITY in belief does not necessarily mean UNIFORMITY of expression

We believe as a diverse being created in the image of God, we are an individual with different personalities, expressions, likings. Ex: Some christians are happy-clappy type while some prefer a solemn worship. What's important is not the label on the bottle but what's inside of it. We Christians united in the same Spirit and we believe on the same Savior.

Ravi says it well :) Whats wrong with being an introvert? To base your thoughts and feelings on what society thinks is the issue (much like young women and the model like appearance they might feel is the acceptable norm)
Ravi is stating that we live in this world, but not of this world. The first step is being ok with being you. Trust me, when i was a young woman, that was WAYYYY more attractive than being the centre of attention (extrovert).
Pray for self confidence; God created you just the way you are and doesn't make junk.
Blessings.
 
eugenius

eugenius

Senior Member
#7
Jul 17, 2009
491
9
18
#7
Zork said:
I can't help but think your being a tad prideful with how you said that. I don't think it's a good idea to be proud of our introverted-ness either. I think without God, being an introvert or extrovert... doesn't matter you'd be horrible. I sometimes feel like --Bleep!--anyways tho... I go to a Christian church and yes I'm CHristian just like most people there but I still sorta feel like most people are not like me. And it's like... its nobodies fault... it's something like... being a black person going into a white people only church. Not being racist, just giving you a picture about how it feels.

There's introverted girls... but it still hurts practically knowing most girls wouldnt like me, just a few.
Click to expand...

Well that whole video is about being proud of being different. Introverts do need more self confidence for sure.

God made us different. Don't be ashamed of it. Yes I would be nowhere without God for sure. But before I got saved I was listening to society and trying to conform to what people wanted me to be. Now I want to be what God wants me to be.

I need to learn how to do public speaking for sure. I need to go to parties and such more often for sure. But there is nothing wrong with only doing that 40% of the time, and being quiet and with family or close friends the other 60%.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
P

piper27

Guest
#8
#8
eugenius said:
Well that whole video is about being proud of being different. Introverts do need more self confidence for sure.

God made us different. Don't be ashamed of it. Yes I would be nowhere without God for sure. But before I got saved I was listening to society and trying to conform to what people wanted me to be. Now I want to be what God wants me to be.

I need to learn how to do public speaking for sure. I need to go to parties and such more often for sure. But there is nothing wrong with only doing that 40% of the time, and being quiet and with family or close friends the other 60%.
Click to expand...


Be yourself, if the desire is put on your heart to be able to function easier with people, do exactly what you said here. Do public speaking -- attend gatherings . However, rejoice in who you are -- and know that you ARE who God wants you to be. Nothing different. And you are so right, nothing wrong with being out in public some of the time -- quiet with family/friends most of the time. Success is being able to function --- that is the mastery. Be blessed along your journey - you are a delight to the father.
 
Z

Zork

Guest
#9
#9
eugenius said:

Well that whole video is about being proud of being different. Introverts do need more self confidence for sure.

God made us different. Don't be ashamed of it. Yes I would be nowhere without God for sure. But before I got saved I was listening to society and trying to conform to what people wanted me to be. Now I want to be what God wants me to be.

I need to learn how to do public speaking for sure. I need to go to parties and such more often for sure. But there is nothing wrong with only doing that 40% of the time, and being quiet and with family or close friends the other 60%.
Click to expand...
Now I saw the video and yeah I would think its ok to be introvert, it's just a different personality type. But I'm just worried you might be choosing a side and saying that introverts are better than extroverts. I have a problem with being proud because it has bad connotations on it. I think maybe just self-repect is fine. But be proud... no, be comfortable.. yes... be okay with who you are (without sin).. thats cool but look at yourself as superior... not okay. That's what I mean.

 
M

Missfoxieloxie

Guest
#10
#10
God made us all different for a reason......
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#11
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,269
113
#11
The meek shall inherit the earth.

(Matthew 5:5)
 
error

error

Senior Member
#12
Oct 23, 2009
1,244
10
38
#12
eugenius said:
Yea youre right Zork. But how will a husband "being funny and making them laugh" help when they need a MAN to be serious about life, go out and provide for his family.

I think little girls want a clown, while women want someone serious about life. Its time to start seeking women, not little girls.

Don't get me wrong. I love to laugh and joke around. But I'm going to do it when I want to, not when people tell me to.
Click to expand...
I'm an introvert.
But i must admit i like guys who are outgoing and funny. I don't need a clown-> but i don't want to sit home and read books all the time. I wanna have some fun. :)
 
S

starfield

Senior Member
#13
Jun 13, 2009
3,393
58
48
#13
eugenius said:
I posted this in the singles forum because of the popular notion that everyone (especially women) seek an extrovert for a spouse. This makes 1/3 of the population feel like something is wrong with them.

 I just saw a very interesting video. An analysis of extroverts and introverts and the fact that society pushes extroversion down everyone's throat. Especially in American culture. I find this to be very true.

The link is below. Watch it and comment please.

The Power of Introverts - Ep 1 - YouTube


I am very introverted. All my life people have been telling me that something is wrong with me. Youre too quiet. You never smile. You think too much. You are too serious. Life is short, quit thinking about the future (wink for Christians). Smile when you are unhappy. Pretend to be happy.

Put down that philosophy book. Stop solving those physics equations. Be loud. Be annoying. Act stupid. Act like a clown. Do these things and people will love you, women will throw themselves at you, and you will be happy.

This is very true in the idea of the American contemporary church. Everything is based on you singing and dancing and shouting. If God forbid you rather spend time analyzing the ideas in the bible in a quiet setting, you are not a real Christian. You do not have the spirit of God in you.

This was well said by Ravi Zacharias in a lecture he did.

Click to expand...
Very informative and succinct video. I like the drawings too. :)

I think it is important to appreciate the diverse personalities of people in the world and it’s good to see things at different perspective that is why I like to be tolerant of other people’s personalities. I am able to associate with introverts, extroverts, whatever, as long there is mutual respect. If everyone was an extrovert, life would not be fun or productive at all and vice versa. I used to be a pseudo extrovert in high school primarily to gain acceptance and popularity, but deep inside me was a girl longing to be herself. It wasn’t until I got into college that I became myself and started to have genuine friends who accepted me for who I am.

Sometimes I am the talkative person in the group and other times I am the quiet listener and observer. I am usually the one in the party that notices everything from the type of car person A drove in with to the ant that is crawling on the table lol.

Introverts enjoy spending time alone and exploring the world around them but they are also able to comfortably interact with others. Some of the world’s renowned scientists like Sir Isaac Newton, artists, philosophers, writers, etc., were introverts and I know a lot of successful introverts but it is definitely the minority and society will continually put pressure on people to be extroverts. The important thing is to not being on the extreme end of the spectrum. I mean there are some that are so reclusive that they restrict themselves from certain tasks and miss out on opportunities that will be beneficial to them because of fear of criticism or rejection. This is the end of the spectrum that one should avoid. It is important to have a high self-esteem as an introvert.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#14
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,586
113
#14
I agree that we are all made in different ways and will mix differently with different kinds of people. I have one brother who is extremely extroverted (as a child, he started talking to anyone and everyone and is still that way--we once lost him on a bus when he was about 5 because he was so busy talking to someone he didn't notice the rest of us leaving), and another who is so introverted that the neighbors didn't even know my sister-in-law had a husband until they saw him coming home from work one day, maybe six months later. Both are highly successful and married with kids.

I think it may be that extroverts get more attention and are supposedly better at networking, but that doesn't mean women or anyone else specifically wants an extrovert.

I consider myself to be mostly an introvert with occasional extroverted tendencies, so I wouldn't want someone who completely avoids everyone all the time, but I don't mesh well with an extreme extrovert either--especially one who can't keep one's business to himself. I had a relationship with a guy a long time ago who would talk to ANYONE about everything, including my family's personal lives, and that caused a lot of friction. Even years after we broke up he would come to where I worked and start telling people he used to date me and did you know my father is so-and-so and blah blah blah... (NOT that all extroverts are like that BUT I do feel VERY uncomfortable about some people who talk all the time... especially about other people.)

I'd rather have someone in the corner reading and analyzing than a gossiping blabbermouth anyday, thanks.
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#15
#15
I try to be as closed off, cornered, caged, and undesirable as possible because I'm what you would call an extreme introvert and HATE any kind of human contact, however I do like to tell everybody everything I know about everybody else...

I'm going away now...
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#16
#16
I's an introvert :D
 
David_1

David_1

Banned
#17
Mar 21, 2011
1,515
16
0
#17
I'm a Hybrid.

A Daywalker.

All of the powers of an Introvert and none of it's weaknesses :p

Okay, last line was not serious, more a reference to the Blade movies.

But yeah I am a very shy extrovert. Possibly born an Extrovert, but became an Introvert due to a lot of bullying growing up.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#18
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,269
113
#18
I'm so introverted that I make other introverts wonder what is wrong with me.
 
D

djness

Guest
#19
#19
Every time I take one of those tests I get I for introvert. I talk to people in line at the grocery store, at the MVA, in cabs, on airplanes, total strangers, I love to talk to people. I've actually had to be reigned in cause I will kind of corner someone...actually once l did that:)

Still somehow I am not an extrovert. I agree completely with missfoxieloxie who said God made us all different for a reason. There are aspects to every personality type which are good and bad.

No reason to dislike one group or the other.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.