Introverts vs Extroverts and the society standard

[alienx7587]

I'm an introvert (ISTJ) and I've just kind of learned to do my own thing and ignore public perception. I've always been told I was "too serious" or have an off sense of humor. I figure as long as my actions are within reason the peanut gallery will eventually fall silent. As for socializing, it depends on the motivation. I'm a man of few words- a listener, observer. Just like the video says, I work slowly and deliberately, analyzing pretty much everything I come across.

 

[Jordache]

It's important to properly define introversion and extroversion. Many people really don't understand it. An extrovert is not a loud, obnoxious, dancing party animal. An introvert is not a socially inept loner. Extroversion and introversion is defined by where you find your energy. Extroverts are energized by being around others. Introverts find other exhausting after a point and are energized by being alone.
I love people. I love being around people. In many circles, I could be that loud dancing fool. Introversion and extroversion is not about how outgoing you are. There reason I'm so adamate about a proper definition is because I thought I was an extrovert for years. However, I am an introvert to the core. I am energized by being alone. But I cannot spend too much time alone. Even introverts were created as social people.

 

[Searching4Truth]

I was too lazy to read all of this. I just wanted to post something unrelated.

 

[Hellooo]

I don't put too much stock in pop psychology personality classifications. Why does it have to be introverts versus extroverts? As long as you're not an absolute sociopath or serial killer or something, you can still function in "society."

 

[eugenius]

I'm an introvert.
But i must admit i like guys who are outgoing and funny. I don't need a clown-> but i don't want to sit home and read books all the time. I wanna have some fun.

LOL dont get me started on the definition of fun.

 

[lookwhatthelordhasdone]

I know exactly what OP is talking about. I've been introverted for as long as I can remember. The thing is though, I'm not shy. In school I often talked to large crowds, was the director of multiple plays, led three classes at once, and was a teacher's aid. Everyone knew who I was and thought I was a very outgoing, friendly person. They would always want me to go out with them, because I would be the 'life of the party'. I always declined and they assumed it was because I had other plans. That wasn't the case at all, after putting myself out there so much during the day I needed time to recharge and process all of the things I had experienced. I needed time to be alone, away from everything. I didn't have the energy to keep going and interacting with people.

It isn't that I'm not friendly or fake, and I'm not stuck up either. I'm just way more introverted then I let on. One of the people I used to work/live with put it in the best way I've ever heard. He had known me for years and said, "It's like you have a switch. When someone comes up to you, you're very warm, inviting, make great conversation, but once they're gone you turn it off."
He then went on to compare me to Johnny Carson, who apparently was the same way. When he was recording for his show, he was funny and extremely outgoing. Once the cameras were off, he became someone completely different. A lot of people would confuse this for some sort of mental disorder, but it's really not. Extroverts and Introverts are just hardwired differently.
Some people who knew me well gave me a hard time about it, and I thought I was just anti-social or just didn't like people. Then I stumbled upon this article and it made me feel a lot better. It describes me to a tee, and I couldn't put it better if I tried.

Here's the link for anyone who wants to read. It may help all the Extroverts understand us better. Also, for the people who are Introverted and want to know more, or people who are confused about the way they are.

Top 5 things every Extrovert should know about Introverts:
Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts » The Definitive Self Improvement Blog - BrianKim.net

 

[lookwhatthelordhasdone]

BTW, I think it would be a good idea to make a group on here for Introverts. I know, I know, people are always wanting to make new forums and whatnot.
But honestly, introverts are a severe minority and they need support from other people who know what they're going through. To know they're not weird or strange for who they are. Also, the topics of conversation are completely different. We typically don't like small talk or meaningless banter. We like things that are challenging and require deep thinking. We're generally serious people as well. I don't know what do my fellow introverts think?


It can be overwhelming, being in a world dominated by Extroverts. I'd be nice to have a place on here where we could take a breather and not feel pressured.

 

[kayem77]

I've taken the personality test three times. I got Extroverted twice and Introverted once, so I'm not sure what I am...maybe an Extroverted with Introverted tendencies. Anyways, I don't think one personality is better than the other. I can be attracted to either an Extroverted man or an Introverted one. I find spontaneity really attractive, but I also like and appreciate a reflective nature. As long as you don't fall in the Psychopathic Personality category, you're fine .

 

[Liamson]

It's important to properly define introversion and extroversion. Many people really don't understand it. An extrovert is not a loud, obnoxious, dancing party animal. An introvert is not a socially inept loner. Extroversion and introversion is defined by where you find your energy. Extroverts are energized by being around others. Introverts find other exhausting after a point and are energized by being alone.
I love people. I love being around people. In many circles, I could be that loud dancing fool. Introversion and extroversion is not about how outgoing you are. There reason I'm so adamate about a proper definition is because I thought I was an extrovert for years. However, I am an introvert to the core. I am energized by being alone. But I cannot spend too much time alone. Even introverts were created as social people.

^Excellent Points^

In addition OP was talking about taking an indepth pursuit of more intellectual topics, as well as the need to fulfill ones duty to family and career. I don't think any of those things have anything to do with introversion or extroversion. That seems like more of a Temperment bias.

ie... (SJ, SP, NF, NT) or (Melancholy, sanguine, choleric, Phlegmatic) etc.

I think it has to do with the OP's personality. His being annoyed with people who take a genuine interest in the his emotional well being, strikes me as a bit strange. However, it is understandable that he should find his enjoyment in life doing the things like fulfilling obligations, pursuing theological/philosophical stuff and paying the bills.

None of this is a problem unless we start becoming Typist, which I am terribly guilty of. That is to value and devalue people on the basis of whether or not they are psychologically oriented to the same compass heading that we are, metaphorically speaking. For instance I tend to rag on people who take themselves too seriously, people with underdeveloped emotional intelligence and people who value tradition because they don't know any better. But that is my bias.

 

[Jullianna]

I'm an introvert and you people are sucking all the air out of my universe.

 

[Zork]

I feel better than I was feeling earlier... its just that I tried hanging out with a group of extroverts just recently... and while they were laughing, smiling... and heck even farting in front of me... I just watched and smiled when I could and was awkwardly quiet because no offense but... they talked about stuff I just wasn't interested in.... I even zoned out a lot while with em because me being in my thoughts was more interesting. By the end of the day... I felt like a very weird person. I didn't fit in one bit and was pretty embarrassed. I figured... I'd hang out with em so I can make Christian friends but I should've thought about it more instead of just going along with it.

I think I'll just keep doing my best to connect with other people, extrovert or introvert... God called us to fellowship... and he also said... submit to one another. So with that said, all we can do is just keep looking for connections.... the one golden place I know I can connect with extroverts is in Church. I'm sticking to that environment because extroverts reveal a deeper side to themselves, one about relationships and God. One that I share very much.... as for other areas of our lives... like hanging out with extroverts... outside of church... well I think I'd have to inch my way into that, maybe could work, maybe not. Either way, atleast the church is always a good place to be with them... it works for me anyways.

 

[Liamson]

I consider myself a pretty introverted extrovert. I spend a lot of time reading, studying, practicing alone.

I think there needs to be a Balance between The Dominant Extrovert and His or Her Dynamic alter opposite.

For every Hawkeye Pierce, there needs to be a B.J. Hunnicutt. (MASH)

For every Will Smith, there needs to be a Philip Banks (fresh prince)

For every Kirk a Spock.

For every Brain a Pinkie

For every Megatron a Starscream

Understanding and accepting our differences is key to a peaceful and successful coexistence.

 

[Ritter]

I don't put too much stock in pop psychology personality classifications. Why does it have to be introverts versus extroverts? As long as you're not an absolute sociopath or serial killer or something, you can still function in "society."

It's about social understanding. Some people wall themselves off so much they no longer know the reason they walled themselves off to begin with.

Others are too busy hanging out outside their walls to know what its like to be trapped in.

In response to the OP, it looks like your typical introvert rant. Because of their preference toward isolation, they then to view themselves as despised and unwanted when they really are prized. I may be alone in this, but growing up I've noticed Extroverted class clowns get the shaft, and the wise old Introverts get all the praise as they were concentrated, smart, and responsible students. Yeah, America leans E in terms of national character, but that doesn't mean I qualities are not prized.

Jung himself said that most people are not solidly I or E, but they are ambiverts with just a hair of preference one way or another.

Nobody has been saying this either: if you are confused, think back to what you were as a child. Type does not change. I'm likely an E with mmmmmany coping mechanisms for my problem with ADD that come off as "Introverted" when I take the test. Want to know how I "became" an I? Or rather why? Read the third paragraph.

 

[eugenius]

I feel better than I was feeling earlier... its just that I tried hanging out with a group of extroverts just recently... and while they were laughing, smiling... and heck even farting in front of me... I just watched and smiled when I could and was awkwardly quiet because no offense but... they talked about stuff I just wasn't interested in.... I even zoned out a lot while with em because me being in my thoughts was more interesting. By the end of the day... I felt like a very weird person. I didn't fit in one bit and was pretty embarrassed. I figured... I'd hang out with em so I can make Christian friends but I should've thought about it more instead of just going along with it.

I think I'll just keep doing my best to connect with other people, extrovert or introvert... God called us to fellowship... and he also said... submit to one another. So with that said, all we can do is just keep looking for connections.... the one golden place I know I can connect with extroverts is in Church. I'm sticking to that environment because extroverts reveal a deeper side to themselves, one about relationships and God. One that I share very much.... as for other areas of our lives... like hanging out with extroverts... outside of church... well I think I'd have to inch my way into that, maybe could work, maybe not. Either way, atleast the church is always a good place to be with them... it works for me anyways.

I understand exactly how you feel Zork when you say that you feel alone and bored and more interested in the little world in your mind than what that group of people was talking about and doing.

This does not mean that us introverts are boring people who don't like to laugh and joke around. Not at all. I think our sense of humor is just different.

I can't speak for any other introverts but I find that my sense of humor is more satirical and sarcastic. I don't like jokes where people fall down or slip on banana peels for example. People farting and burping. The three stooges type of thing. Which I suspect is why you were bored Zork.

I prefer jokes that make fun of people or society acting stupid or immoral, like when an antagonist gets what they deserve. Movies and shows that make fun of society, politics, and the dumb things that all of us do. Reviews of bad movies, satirical political shows, etc.

I do tend to take myself too seriously sometimes, but I also laugh at myself a lot and realize I am far from perfect (God knows). I come from the USSR for god's sake and live in the USA. I love to make fun of communism, and the old soviet system. Politics in general are a joke to me. Oh and I guess that makes me cynical too. Then again I'm Russian, I was born cynical. And cynicism isnt something that Jesus would approve of.

Any other introverts share my sense of humor?

 

[eugenius]

I consider myself a pretty introverted extrovert. I spend a lot of time reading, studying, practicing alone.

I think there needs to be a Balance between The Dominant Extrovert and His or Her Dynamic alter opposite.

For every Hawkeye Pierce, there needs to be a B.J. Hunnicutt. (MASH)

For every Will Smith, there needs to be a Philip Banks (fresh prince)

For every Kirk a Spock.

For every Brain a Pinkie

For every Megatron a Starscream

Understanding and accepting our differences is key to a peaceful and successful coexistence.

For every twilight sparkle a Pinkie Pie. And I bet most of you wont get what I just said. Google it. LOL.

Ahhhh he's one of those everyone whispers. No. I'm not. But its a good show. Besides, I blame my friend for forcing me to watch it.

 

[sanglina]

But how will a husband "being funny and making them laugh" help when they need a MAN to be serious about life, go out and provide for his family.

I think when women say they like men with a sense of humour, it doesn't necessarily mean that the man has to be funny like Jim Carey or Mr. Bean all the time (as far as my understanding and prefernces goes). There are different levels of making your friends or people around you laugh. Just a case in point: Dr. Ravi Zacharias is a serious man as he talks serious about serious stuffs BUT I like his sort of sense of humour; one who can make people laugh without even making an attempt to it and while being completely serious

Therefore, I would suggest that you be just yourself. There would be a whole lot of people out there who shares the same interest/personality as you. Pretending to be someone that we are not is one of the most, if not the most tiresome thing in the world to do

 

[meggars]

I consider myself an introvert/forced extrovert. I can do what I need to do based on the situation I'm in at a given moment. Sometimes, whether you like it or not, being able to function as both (even if it's not comfortable) will serve you well in this world.

 

[Mooky]

I understand exactly how you feel Zork when you say that you feel alone and bored and more interested in the little world in your mind than what that group of people was talking about and doing.

This does not mean that us introverts are boring people who don't like to laugh and joke around. Not at all. I think our sense of humor is just different.

I can't speak for any other introverts but I find that my sense of humor is more satirical and sarcastic. I don't like jokes where people fall down or slip on banana peels for example. People farting and burping. The three stooges type of thing. Which I suspect is why you were bored Zork.

I prefer jokes that make fun of people or society acting stupid or immoral, like when an antagonist gets what they deserve. Movies and shows that make fun of society, politics, and the dumb things that all of us do. Reviews of bad movies, satirical political shows, etc.

I do tend to take myself too seriously sometimes, but I also laugh at myself a lot and realize I am far from perfect (God knows). I come from the USSR for god's sake and live in the USA. I love to make fun of communism, and the old soviet system. Politics in general are a joke to me. Oh and I guess that makes me cynical too. Then again I'm Russian, I was born cynical. And cynicism isnt something that Jesus would approve of.

Any other introverts share my sense of humor?

I share your sentiment - comrade.....

 

[Powemm]

Raises hand ... introvert here

 

[Relena7]

I'm also an introvert. More comfortable around other introverts. But I'm glad not everyone is the same and I'm glad that extroverts exist too. I just wish some people wouldn't try to push their ways on others. makes me want to withdraw even more when people try to push stuff on me.

I have a more distanced relationship with my brother ever since the day he tried to push his talkative lifestyle on me without taking into consideration that not everyone has to be outgoing to be happy.