So how is a shy/quiet guy supposed to attract a girl's attention?

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dothackzero

dothackzero

Banned
#1
May 4, 2009
1,534
6
0
#1
Seriously, I'm more of quiet, reserved and probably seem like the very serious type untill I'm comfortable around the people that I'm around. Then I start to get more outgoing, relaxed, more willing to show emotion, and have fun. But it's like how am I supposed to get a girl's attention long so she'll be able to get comfortable around her when the most they'll do is basically just say hi to me then just go on somewhere else? I'm not even getting hugs from girls anymore, even around the girls that are really the huggy type...

But then still is a problem of a lack of social skills. I still don't really have a good idea how to act normally. Then there's also the fact that I hate small talk since it seems so pointless. I'd rather just get into the real deep stuff. Really I'm running out of options on where to go to find new girls. I mean there's school, but most of the girls that I'd be into have a boyfriend, and it's the samething in chruch. It's like everybody already have someone. meh, I'm just not sure about what I should be doing to get a girlfriend.
 
shae0104

shae0104

Banned
#2
Jun 21, 2011
545
7
0
#2
small group events with activities involving interactions since you open up around people you know do that and church hop
 
shae0104

shae0104

Banned
#3
Jun 21, 2011
545
7
0
#3
p.s. don't be a Debbie downer suck it up and make the small talk cuz it eventually leads to big talk ;) it does take effort
 
L

libertygirl

Guest
#4
#4
Maybe join a social anxiety meet up group and make small talk with others that are practicing. Talk to people, and you'll see that they like you. I know because I suffered from social anxiety for the longest time. There comes a time when you just need to step out and trust that God is with you.
 
shae0104

shae0104

Banned
#5
Jun 21, 2011
545
7
0
#5
ohh ur in school do a study group!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
 
A

arwen83

Guest
#6
#6
Stop being shy and quiet
 
Searching4Truth

Searching4Truth

Senior Member
#7
Jul 25, 2012
1,904
24
0
#7
[SUP]27 [/SUP]Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
[SUP]28 [/SUP]But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
[SUP]29 [/SUP]But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
[SUP]30 [/SUP]And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
[SUP]31 [/SUP]And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
[SUP]32 [/SUP]But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
[SUP]33 [/SUP]But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
[SUP]34 [/SUP]There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
[SUP]35 [/SUP]And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.



Finding a wife isn't everything. I know how hard it is to feel single and forever alone. But you have to remember we're not on Earth for eternity. And even if we do get married, that marriage bond is broken when we leave.


I'm going to say what other posts have said before: You need to work on serving God while your free to do so. You shouldn't worry about finding a wife or a girlfriend because God is all you need. You never know, if it's in God's will, He may provide what you need while you serve Him.

​(Unless I may be mistaken) :p
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#8
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#8
try okcupid? Also work on your social skills and small talk. People that you just met are going to want to dive into deep stuff without knowing you first. You also probably come off as desperate and needy too...just saying
 
A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#9
#9
Bingo!

We have a winner. arwin83, please select a prize from the winner's table and, if you like, our handsome assistant will gift wrap it for you.



arwen83 said:
Stop being shy and quiet
Click to expand...
 
A

arwen83

Guest
#10
#10
AgeofKnowledge said:
Bingo!

We have a winner. arwin83, please select a prize from the winner's table and, if you like, our handsome assistant will gift wrap it for you.

Click to expand...
Yay!!! Is he one of the prize options? :p
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#11
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#11
Start a Youtube Channel where you talk about and do all of the things that you find interesting.


Whether its streaming COD matches like Sandy Ravage or Motovlogging like Laurie Jennifer or Philosophizing like Azrienoch.

There is a a part of you that is uniquely you and once you show the world that side of who you are on YouTube they are gonna want more

My theory.

Or you could Join the Marines.
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#12
#12
arwen83 said:
Stop being shy and quiet
Click to expand...
Eh, I disagree.

Some girls like quiet/shy guys. My boyfriend and I are both shy.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. :)
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#13
#13
dothackzero said:
Seriously, I'm more of quiet, reserved and probably seem like the very serious type untill I'm comfortable around the people that I'm around. Then I start to get more outgoing, relaxed, more willing to show emotion, and have fun. But it's like how am I supposed to get a girl's attention long so she'll be able to get comfortable around her when the most they'll do is basically just say hi to me then just go on somewhere else? I'm not even getting hugs from girls anymore, even around the girls that are really the huggy type...

But then still is a problem of a lack of social skills. I still don't really have a good idea how to act normally. Then there's also the fact that I hate small talk since it seems so pointless. I'd rather just get into the real deep stuff. Really I'm running out of options on where to go to find new girls. I mean there's school, but most of the girls that I'd be into have a boyfriend, and it's the samething in chruch. It's like everybody already have someone. meh, I'm just not sure about what I should be doing to get a girlfriend.
Click to expand...
You could try joining a shyness/social anxiety forum? If you are into the meeting people online thing, it can be easier opening up around fellow shy people who understand. :)
 
A

arwen83

Guest
#14
#14
Relena7 said:
Eh, I disagree.

Some girls like quiet/shy guys. My boyfriend and I are both shy.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. :)
Click to expand...
I can see where you're coming from :) The way I see it, is that shyness (and here i'm not talking about introversion), is a choice. If someone wants to talk to a girl/guy that bad, he/she will find a way to overcome that shyness. I believe that we have more choice and power in terms of our behavior than what we believe we do.
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#16
#16
arwen83 said:
I can see where you're coming from :) The way I see it, is that shyness (and here i'm not talking about introversion), is a choice. If someone wants to talk to a girl/guy that bad, he/she will find a way to overcome that shyness. I believe that we have more choice and power in terms of our behavior than what we believe we do.
Click to expand...
In a sense, yes, it is a choice. But it is harder to use the tools to make that choice to change something if the shyness is all you've ever known your whole life.
For some, it can be as complex as say, for example, deciding out of the blue to lose 50 lbs. Yeah it can be done, but it isn't gonna happen for good unless you know how, and see a point to it.
 
A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#17
#17
I spoke with him and he intends to make sure that both you and your new prize get safely home so will be escorting you to dinner and a show before dropping you off safely at your place... his treat of course ;)

Did I mention he drives a Maserati?

arwen83 said:
Yay!!! Is he one of the prize options? :p
Click to expand...
 
A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#18
#18
Social relational narrative: learn how to wield it properly fellas. Being able to both talk and talk in a way that moves women to engage you in ways you want them to goes a LONG way to overcoming shyness and producing desirable relationship results.
 
D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#19
#19
I agree with Arwen on this one. Being shy and quiet isn't productive when it comes to meeting new people. I would suggest just practicing on your social skills more.
 
C

Chr

Guest
#20
#20
What helps is don't view them as potential dates or a future wife.There are just friends,so you can relax and talk to them with kindness and respect.In our dating secular culture it teaches that two people that are psychically attracted to each other have to date.Thats wrong two people that are single and are psychically attracted to each other can hang out as friends and get to know each other,which is good.Shyness can be from too much pressure,fearbased.But there is no pressure from friendship.
 
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