So how is a shy/quiet guy supposed to attract a girl's attention?

[Nautilus]

Yay!!! Is he one of the prize options?

Yes but he is an atheist

 

[WhiteWolfOfTheBlackForest]

I was once shy when I was a teenager where I could not approach a girl and talk to her lol. But I am not like that anymore, I progressed and God gave me confidence. The more you put yourself out there in that 'uncomfortable' zone, the quicker you will learn and get out of being the shy/quiet guy, if that is what you want to do. I think at the end of the day though, the most important thing is to be yourself.

 

[willfollowsGod]

First of all, don't smack down people and say that they have to stop being quiet and shy, that would basically be a slap in the face. I remember a person in my high school, who either did not like or hated shy people. As for introversion, shyness and introversion for me go hand in hand. As for the small talk thing, I really would not be against it, though I usually tend to ask and/or think on deep subjects. But giving small talk, like asking what movie they like, sports, etc. can be a good thing. That is my say on this subject. God bless.

 

[darkhoboelf]

Seriously, I'm more of quiet, reserved and probably seem like the very serious type untill I'm comfortable around the people that I'm around. Then I start to get more outgoing, relaxed, more willing to show emotion, and have fun. But it's like how am I supposed to get a girl's attention long so she'll be able to get comfortable around her when the most they'll do is basically just say hi to me then just go on somewhere else? I'm not even getting hugs from girls anymore, even around the girls that are really the huggy type...

But then still is a problem of a lack of social skills. I still don't really have a good idea how to act normally. Then there's also the fact that I hate small talk since it seems so pointless. I'd rather just get into the real deep stuff. Really I'm running out of options on where to go to find new girls. I mean there's school, but most of the girls that I'd be into have a boyfriend, and it's the samething in chruch. It's like everybody already have someone. meh, I'm just not sure about what I should be doing to get a girlfriend.

Based on your description it sounds more like you have social anxiety than just being shy.Both shyness and social anxiety are fears of social situations however social anxiety is more severe.Depending on how much it affects your life and how much it bothers you you should seek help from a licensed professional.A counselor can teach you helpful techniques to overcome your anxiety as well as being someone who will understand what your dealing with.
You may also want to check out this book
://www.amazon.com/Shyness-Social-Anxiety-Workbook-Step-/dp/1572245530/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362176444&sr=8-1&keywords=social+anxiety+workbook

 

[dothackzero]

I know it's social anxiety, but sometimes I just call it shyness.

btw, I'm not a hikikomori. And I knew about before I shown the link.

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

Right because encouraging young males to learn how to talk to women and develop social skills is abusive bullying by definition. *rolls eyes*. Or NOT.

Sorry that you observed a bad experience, but that's not what we're doing friend. What we're doing falls under the classification of education. Lesson #1 is that ignoring shy people accomplishes NOTHING beneficial for them.

First of all, don't smack down people and say that they have to stop being quiet and shy, that would basically be a slap in the face. I remember a person in my high school, who either did not like or hated shy people. As for introversion, shyness and introversion for me go hand in hand. As for the small talk thing, I really would not be against it, though I usually tend to ask and/or think on deep subjects. But giving small talk, like asking what movie they like, sports, etc. can be a good thing. That is my say on this subject. God bless.

 

[Powemm]

Keep being "consistently " nice zero.. remember God never changes .. inconsistently "not nice " guys, change often..you have more leverage than you think buddy.
Take it from someone who has learned "that lesson" well.
god took and turned me around 360 degrees...Now towards guys who seem hidden like yourself .. Remember .. God hides diamonds in rock and dirt.. what's inside you is a treasure.. It's going to take the "right eye" to see it and a willing patience go discover what you're about . Same goes for you to though, The girl he has meant for you might be walking in the same pair of shoes you are it will all work out perfectly

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

Why should he end up with other people's "left-overs" when he can have the "first-fruits"?

No offense, though there's no getting around that there will be for telling it like it is, but he doesn't have to hang out and wait for someone to have enough bad experience(s) to finally come around. He CAN grow personally to be more sociable, socially adept, and well-rounded with better communication skills and a love for the everyday small things in life that make each day interesting. If he DOES, it will transform his life.

A young lady came up to me last year and said, in perfect seriousness, "Jesus told me to tell you that one of the reasons he came was to admire the beauty of a simple butterfly."

I gave her a hug and got her number. Peace.

Keep being "consistently " nice zero.. remember God never changes .. inconsistently "not nice " guys, change often..you have more leverage than you think buddy.
Take it from someone who has learned "that lesson" well.
god took and turned me around 360 degrees...Now towards guys who seem hidden like yourself .. Remember .. God hides diamonds in rock and dirt.. what's inside you is a treasure.. It's going to take the "right eye" to see it and a willing patience go discover what you're about . Same goes for you to though, The girl he has meant for you might be walking in the same pair of shoes you are it will all work out perfectly

 

[GreenNnice]

I can see where you're coming from The way I see it, is that shyness (and here i'm not talking about introversion), is a choice. If someone wants to talk to a girl/guy that bad, he/she will find a way to overcome that shyness. I believe that we have more choice and power in terms of our behavior than what we believe we do.

I believe our power of choice , what we choose to do, should be found in Him.
Your strength is found in Him, so, is our shyness, but, if we want to overcome our shyness, we need to pray for strength, like David did, like Paul did, like Elijah did, and others in the bible did, and, then, we need to understand that God may or may not have us become bold after that. Ultimately, what we do in our lives is made by us , but God then takes over.

Proverbs 16:9 says -- Man plans his own way, but God directs his steps.

Another verse, not sure where at moment , but, "The steps of a righteous man are ordered by God.'

Righteousness= right standing with God.

Having faith in His planned way is how Cain to Noah to Abraham to Isaac to Jacob to Joseph obeyed, and, that's just Genesis chrono ; by their choices, made based on faith, His divine providence guided them through their many trials and tribulations. James 1:2,3,4

 

[Ritter]

Light a match near a sprinkler.

 

[rachelsedge]

arwen83 I don't think it's too much to ask to be treated like a lady, but unfortunately I've met some females who let pride get in the way of chivalry. A guy will open the door for her or offer to carry something for her and she scoffs and thinks "I can do that myself! What do you think I am, weak?" These women need to take a chill pill. It's not that guys (or anyone offering to open the door for you or carry something) think that the woman is physically incapable or not independent enough to do it herself; it's an act of respect.

I don't know if that's what Ritter is referring to, but I have actually encountered that myself and I don't understand it. I actually really appreciate anyone who offers to help or open the door, no matter who it is.

 

[rachelsedge]

arwen!! I totally posted that on the wrong thread!! That was supposed to go on the "What is a lady" thread...

Ugh, that's embarrassing.

 

[Powemm]

I get what your saying ageofknowledgd -
And I think it depends on where we are looking from,.
I use to think that way totally.. Until I started letting God fill those particular areas of my life those things were important to "get" from someone else.. .. Once I allowed God to fill those areas in my life , those needs were met .. And the need "to get" became a desire "to give" through an outpouring of what God gives to
Me., I began seeing through different lenses .. I appreciate your post
When we "know" Gods character we are better able to discern who we place ourselves around .. When we allow god to instill that knowledge , we then "become" those people to others the ripple from a butterflies wings can have long lasting effects .. So true so true
Peace in christ
Michelle

 

[Powemm]

All butterflies go through a larvea stage
It's god
Who transforms us into
Something more beautiful

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

Wow. What poise and grace. Make a note of it fellas. This one here's a WINNER.

I get what your saying ageofknowledgd -
And I think it depends on where we are looking from,.
I use to think that way totally.. Until I started letting God fill those particular areas of my life those things were important to "get" from someone else.. .. Once I allowed God to fill those areas in my life , those needs were met .. And the need "to get" became a desire "to give" through an outpouring of what God gives to
Me., I began seeing through different lenses .. I appreciate your post
When we "know" Gods character we are better able to discern who we place ourselves around .. When we allow god to instill that knowledge , we then "become" those people to others the ripple from a butterflies wings can have long lasting effects .. So true so true
Peace in christ
Michelle

 

[Powemm]

Gods love , grace , forgiveness and mercy is absolutely sufficient ..
All glory and credit to Him for sure..
thumbs up age of knowledge .. He's not done with any of us yet

Love going up is worship
Love going out is affection
Love bending down is grace

It's all about us reconnecting fully with him
If there's any part of the relationship not restored with Him, nothing outside of it will work...
This is what I'm coming to know I am seeing now that those areas of restoration with Him, are clearing up relational issues I use to have with others .. God is good all the time folks .. All the time ..

 

[dothackzero]

Why should he end up with other people's "left-overs" when he can have the "first-fruits"?

No offense, though there's no getting around that there will be for telling it like it is, but he doesn't have to hang out and wait for someone to have enough bad experience(s) to finally come around. He CAN grow personally to be more sociable, socially adept, and well-rounded with better communication skills and a love for the everyday small things in life that make each day interesting. If he DOES, it will transform his life.

A young lady came up to me last year and said, in perfect seriousness, "Jesus told me to tell you that one of the reasons he came was to admire the beauty of a simple butterfly."

I gave her a hug and got her number. Peace.

Well, it does seem like that God is telling me to get out there and talk to the girls I do know. His grace will take care of the rest. Well, I kinda guessing on the second part, but it seems pretty accurate.

 

[Robbinette]

I think you should just be yourself, if you like a girl enough I think God will make a way for the two of you to meet. Honestly I've always been more attracted to the strong silent type. If you can ever get them to talk usually they have the most to say, well maybe not the most but the most meaningful. Loud cocky guys just get real old real quick to me

Also.. does your penguin have wings?

 

[dothackzero]

What about the silent computer geeky type?

Anyways, I'm planning on calling a girl that I haven't talked to in a few month to hang out with me and a couple of my friends. Hopefully that'll go well. And hopefully I won't loss my nerve and wait another couple months before I call. Basically she isn't someone that I'd normally see through out the week... Which makes things a little harder to deal with...

 

[cynicalguy]

Hikikomori not nice but they do exist i am pretty close to 1
I found that the easiest way to approach people was to have a few drinks before I started a convo
because it lowers your inner gaurd and while you enjoy your drink you can learn what the other person likes by asking them the questions because as my dad likes to say 90% of what people like to talk about is themselves.

Basicly what im saying is you grab a drink of your choice and start a subtle interrogation. it works