Age in Dating

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VictoryBelle

VictoryBelle

Member
#21
Sep 18, 2015
144
75
28
#21
Three or four years younger than me I don't mind so much, I just prefer someone closer to my age if at all possible.

I knew a guy once who recently married someone 20 years older than him... she is almost the same age as his mother too! That was just weird... I know people back in old times married people that much older than them, but times are different. People used to get married at 12 as well but we don't do that today either. lol. Just something about marrying anyone that is as old as your parents is not anything I want. It's too weird.

Two things go through my mind: If he's 45 and wanting to be in a relationship with me is he just that immature that he believes he is still 25 and it's gonna get really awkward when he has WAY more in common with my dad than me (LOL).
 
C

crosstweed

Guest
#22
#22
peppers said:
I always wonder why! Sometimes I think men are intimidated by taller women. I hit the 5'10 mark too. Problem is when I want to wear cute shoes I ask my self, what pair do I want to wear? The " How tall are you?" or "Do you play Basketball?" or maybe the "Can you reach the back of the top shelf for me honey?" But I love shoes so I deal with it and I love helping the height challenged lol. My mom teases me all the time , shes like almost a 8 inches shorter and so is my dad.
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My dad is 6'6.
Person: "How's the weather up there?"
Dad: *Spits everywhere* "Raining."
 
TriviaGirl86

TriviaGirl86

Senior Member
#24
Nov 2, 2011
139
3
18
#24
peppers said:
I always wonder why! Sometimes I think men are intimidated by taller women. I hit the 5'10 mark too. Problem is when I want to wear cute shoes I ask my self, what pair do I want to wear? The " How tall are you?" or "Do you play Basketball?" or maybe the "Can you reach the back of the top shelf for me honey?" But I love shoes so I deal with it and I love helping the height challenged lol. My mom teases me all the time , shes like almost a 8 inches shorter and so is my dad.
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I asked my 6'4'' friend who actually prefers tall women what he thought. He said that short women are usually more forward and aggressive. It might be that they let a man know that they like him or they make him feel appreciated...I don't know. I've always been shy though, so when I like a guy he usually won't know about it for months...if at all.
 
slave

slave

Senior Member
#26
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
1,097
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#26
I'm 8' 7" is that tall enough? Or too tall? Smile....NO! Kidding.

The common sense side to this story is obvious too: Emotional Maturity, similar habits and interests, insecurity stages, family planning, end of life stages are a huge consideration as well, even societies view on it, in relationship to how they treat you if the age is widespread.

Some science studies I have seen have said the optimal age is the male 6 years the womans senior. Or men 6 years older than the woman. Now that kind of surprised me but not really. As provider and spiritual leader, it makes sense, yet I place myself under attack for saying some of that...smile. But there is no magical formula. Bottom line is if God has given you His reassurance in it, you are free to accept it. Your soul will know if you ask and seek it out, asking Him His will on it.
 
P

peppers

Guest
#27
#27
TriviaGirl86 said:
I asked my 6'4'' friend who actually prefers tall women what he thought. He said that short women are usually more forward and aggressive. It might be that they let a man know that they like him or they make him feel appreciated...I don't know. I've always been shy though, so when I like a guy he usually won't know about it for months...if at all.
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Same here! I'm not shy with anything else but telling a guy I like him. I could see that for shorter people though, its kinda like being the tallest in class or around people, you kinda stand out. I know my mom always had to stand up for herself for being shorter.
 
TriviaGirl86

TriviaGirl86

Senior Member
#28
Nov 2, 2011
139
3
18
#28
slave said:
I'm 8' 7" is that tall enough? Or too tall? Smile....NO! Kidding.

The common sense side to this story is obvious too: Emotional Maturity, similar habits and interests, insecurity stages, family planning, end of life stages are a huge consideration as well, even societies view on it, in relationship to how they treat you if the age is widespread.

Some science studies I have seen have said the optimal age is the male 6 years the womans senior. Or men 6 years older than the woman. Now that kind of surprised me but not really. As provider and spiritual leader, it makes sense, yet I place myself under attack for saying some of that...smile. But there is no magical formula. Bottom line is if God has given you His reassurance in it, you are free to accept it. Your soul will know if you ask and seek it out, asking Him His will on it.
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Yes but studies are usually full of it and generally only sample a very small group of people. Just like statistics you must take them with a grain of salt. If I'm not attracted to older men I'm not going to marry one to fulfill the requirements of the study or what-have-you. Also, throughout history women have been stigmatized for dating or marrying younger men so now the tide is changing. I guarantee you the study does not reflect that.

I do agree with what you're saying though, but studies, while interesting are hardly worth trying to model one's life after.
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#30
#30
peppers said:
Honestly I wouldn't date someone younger. The men that usually flirt with me are older up to like dude could be my dad and I still think they are very immature. If God presented me with someone younger he would definitely have to be mature for his age. My problem with dating usually isn't with age(...)
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I don't understand what you're trying to say. Is it essentially a maturity issue (besides the height issue)?
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#31
#31
peppers said:
I always wonder why! Sometimes I think men are intimidated by taller women.
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No, we're not. (We had an extensive discussion on this earlier this year.) Women in general, tall or short, tend to prefer their men to be taller than they. Most men don't care in general; women tend to feel less feminine if they are taller than their man. Anyways, topic derailed. Back to ages.

Angie is a year older than me. First woman I've dated who was older. Don't really care. But I do feel the old standby formula (age/2 + 7), from the age of 26 and up, is a fair enough guide to use when asking "Is he/she too young for me?" (Yes, even a couple at 60 and 37 can find themselves compatible in this formula.)

One of the main things we pointed out in other discussions is that it's less about age difference and more about stage-of-life. Someone who is in the middle of college is still in a very different stage of life than someone who's spent a decade entrenched in their career. If you're settled into your career, just bought a home, and are ready to start popping out kids, taking up with an aspiring surgeon who's just starting undergrad is going to be an issue. If you're a single father who's just graduated his last child out of high school, and you're done with parenting, it's not a good idea to take up with a 25-year old who's chomping at the bit to start having her own kids. Reality is, once you hit 26 or so, it's no longer about age, it's about stage-of-life. Where are you, where are you headed, where do you plan to be? Is your intended spouse in the same place, headed the same way? Possible for that to be the case between a couple who is 45 and 25. It is NOT likely to be the case between a couple who is 18 and 38.

All goes back to being equally yoked. ^_-
 
slave

slave

Senior Member
#32
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
1,097
113
#32
crosstweed said:
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This kills me because he really thinks this is a tough intimidating stare down. It's like the computer nerd serving notice...smile no offense computer nerds!
 
slave

slave

Senior Member
#33
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
1,097
113
#33
crosstweed said:
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Careful I have been diagnosed with a moving sickness...I can't stop watching moving things--which is sickening! Time for my well known popcorn bowl again, i'll transfer this now to my TV screen via smart Tv addiction screen apps. Yep! This moving sickness is world wide. If it moves I got to be there! I have 1,344 lava lamps going right now! Smile...Ok, No! But kind of yes!
 
slave

slave

Senior Member
#35
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
1,097
113
#35
TriviaGirl86 said:
Yes but studies are usually full of it and generally only sample a very small group of people. Just like statistics you must take them with a grain of salt. If I'm not attracted to older men I'm not going to marry one to fulfill the requirements of the study or what-have-you. Also, throughout history women have been stigmatized for dating or marrying younger men so now the tide is changing. I guarantee you the study does not reflect that.

I do agree with what you're saying though, but studies, while interesting are hardly worth trying to model one's life after.
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I agree 100%...I used that as a sample of thinking out there in the wooly world...never a conclusion, but I see how that staging can benefit some though, but as a conclusive policy;I agree absolutely! :).
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#36
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#36
I preferred dating close to my age but I had a no more than 10 years older or 1 year younger rule for myself. Guys tend to take a little longer to mature and I dated a guy in my twenties younger and it was not for long as he was just not mature enough. There was a guy in his 40's who kept bugging me to go out on a date when I was in my twenties and I kept refusing him but when I knew I was moving out of state I agreed to go out for a goodbye dinner. He kissed me goodnight and all I could think of it was like kissing my Dad...yuck....I moved many states away so that was no longer a problem....

My first husband was 10 months older than me and now I am a Cougar....as tourist is younger than me.....by 17 days....lol I wish he was the older one but by my rule standard it works....lol

The height thing I am 5' 2" tall and I'd be talking to my friends and subject might go to height and they would always be surprised that I was so short.....I'd say why? Did you think I was taller than that? They would all say yes,,,, I'd say that's because what I don't have in height I make up for with confidence and attitude....lol
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#37
Aug 13, 2014
24,915
8,168
113
#37
MollyConnor said:

So by this equation I could date someone who is 36....that's interesting. :eek:
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Well the actual analysis is of course much more complex... but the guy couldn't stay around to discuss it in detail because he had a date. :rolleyes:
 
L

LiJo

Guest
#38
#38
i prefer to date men around my age, give or take 4 years. I've dated guys over 10 years younger and over 10 years older, both didn't work out, ironically I seem to attract the much younger and much older guys :/
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#39
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#39
If you're both two legal adults, then age shouldn't be a problem. It's the spirit of the person that attracts you. Not the age. Cause it's just a number. It doesn't matter to me if she is younger or older. Someone that is roughly around the 20s like I am, so we could grow in our walk in Christ together.
 
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crosstweed

Guest
#40
#40
slave said:
This kills me because he really thinks this is a tough intimidating stare down. It's like the computer nerd serving notice...smile no offense computer nerds!
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xD I love that gif. Llamas/alpacas are hilarious. And in real life, actually kind of scary.
 
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