Are you trying to Fit In? or are you Cultivating your Uniqueness?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#1
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#1
I'm biased.

But I know I'm biased, I don't think that really takes the edge off of it.


I was going to make this a poll.... but I'll pass. Polls have usually long lifespans as threads because people vote or comment or something and suddenly what is dead is made to walk again.



Do you want to feel like you Belong or do you want to Stand Out for the things you believe in?



Cause I feel like we can't have it both ways. If I'm trying to fit in I'm not being me and if I'm trying to express my individuality, I'm probably not going to fit in. I have a lot of respect for people who do not compromise on their sense of who they are in spite of how Isolating it can be.
 
CatHerder

CatHerder

Senior Member
#2
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
#2
Are you saying that your faith makes you feel like you don't fit in with the world in general - or that you don't feel you fit in with other Christians?

I feel both, but have to confess that I have no idea what you are asking for in your OP. Is this a spiritual question or a personality based question. Biased toward/against what?
 
A

arwen83

Guest
#3
#3
I've always wanted to be unique and stand out. It's important that I can be myself regardless of being 'nice' all the time. I put a high value on authenticity and honesty with tact. But in some ways, I desire to belong, it gets lonely here lol.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#4
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#4
I've been trying to fit in all my life and it never works. :p
 
N

niceguyJ

Senior Member
#5
Feb 5, 2011
520
25
28
#5
Trying to fit in is simply pretending to be someone else. I don't want any part of that. I've never really fit in anywhere, or with any one group. Yes...it has caused me often times to be a bit of a loner, but I'd rather be that and be myself.

I've also learned it doesn't mean it has to always be that way, since I do know a few who take me as I am. For me, those people are an incredible rarity.
Sure, I can get along with most anyone, but for someone to really get me and not expect me to be this way or that way or do this or that..That type of connection is a whole other thing.

All that said, I do think a person can actually put effort into being unique just for the sake of being unique. That really isn't any better is it? It's still pretending, in a sense.


I also have a great respect for people who are individuals rather than acting like a bot who follows whatever makes them feel accepted whether they truly believe in it or not.
 
Tommy4Christ

Tommy4Christ

Banned
#6
Feb 11, 2012
1,358
8
0
#6
Liamson said:
I'm biased.

But I know I'm biased, I don't think that really takes the edge off of it.


I was going to make this a poll.... but I'll pass. Polls have usually long lifespans as threads because people vote or comment or something and suddenly what is dead is made to walk again.



Do you want to feel like you Belong or do you want to Stand Out for the things you believe in?



Cause I feel like we can't have it both ways. If I'm trying to fit in I'm not being me and if I'm trying to express my individuality, I'm probably not going to fit in. I have a lot of respect for people who do not compromise on their sense of who they are in spite of how Isolating it can be.
Click to expand...
If you preach the truth, you will not be accepted well, especially when you speak out agaist the apostate church, and preach righteousness on these forums!

But God is no respecter of persons, and has nothing for the godless, or lukewarm who think they are saved because they said a prayer, and have never truly repented!

Dont worry about what others think, worry and fear what Gods thinks!

Fear God, obey His commands, stand strong against the false church and its false ways, and you wont be very popular!

But its not about being popular, but about repentance, faith, obedience, heart purity, holiness, seperation, loving not the world, departing from all iniquity, enduring to the end, keeping yourself in the love of God, holding fast, and walking the talk!

Rev 18:4 And I heard another voice from Heaven, saying, Come out of her, My people, that you may not be partakers of her sins, and that you may not receive of her plagues.
 
E

Epicnerdheroix

Guest
#7
#7
I like everything you guys have written and I can certainly relate. People have told me that I have old-school values which make me stand out from other New Yawkers. Well, that's a double-edged sword because I'm never leaving this place and yet for that very reason it's difficult for me to meet young single Christian women who compliment my morals. And frankly, I'd rather be single forever than do what other people do and just go with any girl that comes my way. Singleness is difficult when your heart desires a mate, but giving up your values hurts way more. Besides, there's a price to pay for standing out and sticking to your values and it's the rare people who are willing to pay that price. I have in the past and will continue to do so. Take that, Satan!
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#8
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
113
#8
One of the reasons I adored my ex-husband so much is because he was racially mixed and, when I told him I'd tried my whole life to fit in, he told me, "Baby, we don't wait for people to tell us where we fit in. We make our own place." I've never forgotten that.

I do believe, however, that God makes a place for us. And when we find that place (it varies in shades and colors over time and experience), we are able to fill that place in a very unique way that no one else ever could, or can replace.

Do I fit into this situation or that? No, because of race, culture, beliefs, whatever. But do I fit in with the family God chose me? Like a glove, and in a way no one else ever could. That place was designed for me, and I was designed for that space... even though I know I fill it in the most unique way anyone ever could.
 
L

Lightwalker

Guest
#9
#9
I've never been one for trying to fit in, and compromising my own standards just to be in the crowd never appealed to me. For me, it's better to please God and follow Him, than slave for the acceptance of man.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#10
#10
I don't try to fit in, but I don't cultivate uniqueness either. I am God's work in progress. What people may like about me today may change tomorrow. What they don't like may as well. I'm okay with that because there are things I like about myself and things I don't. But it's never boring. :)

What I do hope is that people who are close to me take time to get to know my heart. That's what I look at in them in spite of what they do or don't do.
 
B

Blue3Falcon

Guest
#11
#11
I read the original post probably a little different then every body else, but it touched my heart in the way I needed it too. I love me, my uniqueness. But lately with my new church group I keep trying to fit in with everyone. Mostly all my friends are in the worship team. They always go on about instruments or have jam sessions. I love music, and i'm great at singing. I play a little piano and the flute, so basically I can't get in on what they are doing. I want to be able to have that connection so bad that I forget it's ok to be different. God gave me an incredible gift to dance, and I have started a dance team at church. But I feel like I keep letting it go so I can be apart of what everyone else is doing instead. I need to remember that there are many different people and if we all did the same thing life wouldn't be very exciting.
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#12
#12
I'm not gonna lie, I wanna feel like I belong. I like feeling that someone appreciates me for who I am. But I also wanna stand out for the things that I believe in. With my Christian friends, I can feel I belong with them (spiritually at least), with non-Christians I've noticed that it's harder to share my heart and reasoning behind some of my decisions.

I don't try to be different just for the sake of being different...I'm pretty laid back and friendly in most situations,sometimes too much I believe. Yet, I feel lonely when I can't share the core of what makes me be ME with someone, even if we can talk about daily stuff for hours. At the end, and I know I have failed many times...I feel better with myself and God when I know I haven't compromised my faith or my heart just to keep a friendship or gain wordly appreciation .
 
C

Chr

Guest
#13
#13
God made us all unique,its the world that tries to get us into its mold by fear.Im so glad we are all diffrent and our common bond is we are in Christ.His body we are family.So lets love and accept each other.Its great adding new friends to our group as long as there is forgiveness peace and respect.The bible tells us to love each other as Christ loved us.You guys are awesome my brothers and sisters in Christ.
 
C

Chr

Guest
#14
#14
Tommy I read you attack the doctrine of orginal sin and the subsitutional work of Christ that is at the heart of the gospel. So repent.
 
C

Chr

Guest
#15
#15
It was on another thread that i read that tommy
 
C

Chr

Guest
#16
#16
Tommy you may have broken the rules on this site?
 
A

arwen83

Guest
#17
#17
Liamson said:
I'm biased.

But I know I'm biased, I don't think that really takes the edge off of it.


I was going to make this a poll.... but I'll pass. Polls have usually long lifespans as threads because people vote or comment or something and suddenly what is dead is made to walk again.



Do you want to feel like you Belong or do you want to Stand Out for the things you believe in?



Cause I feel like we can't have it both ways. If I'm trying to fit in I'm not being me and if I'm trying to express my individuality, I'm probably not going to fit in. I have a lot of respect for people who do not compromise on their sense of who they are in spite of how Isolating it can be.
Click to expand...
No one can truly fit in, you are intrinsically unique. You can't be truly unique and authentic either (though Hipsters try :p). But I am sure you know this. Explore those things that make you unique, and find ways to express them in a way it won't be as isolating. I think its like a dance, and only you can gauge if you are being authentic or if you're drifting from who you believe yourself to be. I don't know a whole lot about you, so I don't know if this at all relevant.
 
P

Powemm

Guest
#18
#18
Inspite of agreeing or not .. Tommy has a right to post whatever he wishes .. As everyone else does .. he is standing up for what "he believes in".. THAT in itself (right or wrong in the eyes of anyone else's belief systems ) reveals integrity..

Tommy, I thank you for posting what you do, because it keeps my own heart alert in many areas.. the minute I'm ever offended by it , it's an indicator something " in my heart" is not right.. I hope ya never stop... Another thing, it shows you care! I can't say I know many people who are willing to get up in my face and say take a look at this .. The minute I can't look at it is another indicator , I better stop and do it .. "not being able too" speaks many volumes ..

THANK YOU TOMMY!!
 
C

Chr

Guest
#19
#19
Powemm I don't want to press it.I want to leave it alone.I read rule number 1 people can't post whatever they want.But again I don't want to press it.I want to leave it alone.Just a warning to tommy.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#20
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#20
CatHerder- I wasn't really talking about Faith or the world.

I appreciate all of the responses. I feel like there are 2 basic Orientations and 4 Positions.

Either you want In or you want to be You.


Some people Are in and want to fit in.

Some people Are out and want to fit in.

Some people are in and want out.

Some people are Out and Wanted out.


Like say your Father is a very famous and respected Spiritual person, and he could give you anything that you want if only you would ask but, instead you simply want to escape his shadow. I would call that being in but wanting out.

Or say that you are a Missionary Trainer, you love your job and its taken a lot to get where you are. Everyone knows that the whole enchilada wouldn't be the same without you. I would call that being in and wanting in.

However say that you Used to be a Stripper B.C. and have loads of Tattoos and a Daughter, You dress Modestly and Actively Participate in Church and Small groups but, everyone seems to relate to you as if you just got off shift. I would call that being out and wanting in.

Okay now say you work for a Restaurant where everyone is living with their BF/GF Smoking Weed and they don't invite you to their parties cause they know you are a Christian. You don't hide What you Believe because in a way it keeps you accountable to what a Christian is suppose to do. I would call that being out and wanting out.



So really its kind of the dynamic of where and who we want to belong. I'm not a traditional person. I have often view Traditions as something geared to turn people into Automatons. Anytime I feel like I can break with Tradition and get away with it, I do. For Example I wrap Christmas Presents in Sunday Comics instead of Gift Wrap, because I can.

But I do my best to hide the expressions actions and thoughts I have that people will find just plain offensive, so people see what I think they can accept and nothing more.

I don't know if I fit in or not but, Its not for trying.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.