Can men and women be friends..really friends?

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phil38111

phil38111

Banned
#101
Feb 21, 2012
414
3
0
#101
A_Friend_In_Christ said:
Men and women can never be friends?
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Is this question aimed at me A_FRIEND_IN)_CHRIST? I didn't mean to say that men and women could never be friends. I was just saying in the majority of cases I have seen with male and female friendships, it is best they only be friends while they are single, unless the guy is cool enough to be friends with both the woman and her boyfriend.

Just my opinion could be wrong.
 
A_Friend_In_Christ

A_Friend_In_Christ

Senior Member
#102
Aug 13, 2013
965
8
18
#102
I am asking everyone here and not just one person. Maybe we can take it on a case by case basis?
 
D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#103
#103
Nope, girls have cooties. Truly creatures of the night. No kit kat bar, no cookie, no everlasting gobstopper.....nothing is sacred to them....not even your last reese cup. They will devour all the chocolates and laugh about it hysterically. Then they look directly at you with their big mischevious eyes to rub it in and let you know that they feel absolutely no remorse for what they have done :(
 
L

lords_counselor23

Guest
#105
#105
It's extremely rare for a man to be able to see a woman as a pure friend, without any type of intimate thought. Men are so visually distracted and frequently think of sex! Women are a little different. We could have a guy friend and keep him in the "friend zone"as needed.
 
Faith-n-Christ

Faith-n-Christ

Senior Member
#107
May 12, 2016
443
365
63
#107
Anyone can be friends. God gives us wisdom. If married and even unmarried, have safe guards in place, less you be tempted. Temptation leads to sin and sin to death.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#108
#108
lords_counselor23 said:
It's extremely rare for a man to be able to see a woman as a pure friend, without any type of intimate thought. Men are so visually distracted and frequently think of sex! Women are a little different. We could have a guy friend and keep him in the "friend zone"as needed.
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Entirely incorrect. I mostly have female friends. Mostly non-romantic in nature. In some cases the attraction wasn't on my end, but their attraction to me. But whether i was attracted, they were, both or neither friendships have maintained and been completely fine.
Basically all you said was 'men can't be friends with women because all they want is sex and can't see women any other way'. A rather offensive statement. Women can be just as guilty of this and it's becoming more and more common that they do struggle.
I was friends online with a woman who was a stripper, so you might think that would be a huge problem for one of us brainless horny guys. We were great friends. Guess how much sex talk or suggestive conversations we had? Zero. Yet we loved hanging out online together and had lots of fun and deep conversations.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#109
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#109
lords_counselor23 said:
It's extremely rare for a man to be able to see a woman as a pure friend, without any type of intimate thought. Men are so visually distracted and frequently think of sex! Women are a little different. We could have a guy friend and keep him in the "friend zone"as needed.
Click to expand...
That is the truth. And it's even been scientifically proven...

This is a scientific study that was done at a university with 88 pairs of students. They were not allowed to discuss the study at all with their friends (both male or female)..

"In order to investigate the viability of truly platonic opposite-sex friendships..... researchers brought 88 pairs of undergraduate opposite-sex friends into…a science lab. Privacy was paramount—for example, imagine the fallout if two friends learned that one—and only one—had unspoken romantic feelings for the other throughout their relationship. In order to ensure honest responses, the researchers not only followed standard protocols regarding anonymity and confidentiality, but also required both friends to agree—verbally, and in front of each other—to refrain from discussing the study, even after they had left the testing facility. These friendship pairs were then separated,and each member of each pair was asked a series of questions related to his or her romantic feelings (or lack thereof) toward the friend with whom they were taking the study...."

"....The results suggest large gender differences in how men and women experience opposite-sex friendships. Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief..."

Source: Men and Women Can't Be "Just Friends" - Scientific American
 
M

Messy

Banned
#110
May 26, 2016
545
3
0
#110
Ugly said:
Entirely incorrect. I mostly have female friends. Mostly non-romantic in nature. In some cases the attraction wasn't on my end, but their attraction to me. But whether i was attracted, they were, both or neither friendships have maintained and been completely fine.
Basically all you said was 'men can't be friends with women because all they want is sex and can't see women any other way'. A rather offensive statement. Women can be just as guilty of this and it's becoming more and more common that they do struggle.
I was friends online with a woman who was a stripper, so you might think that would be a huge problem for one of us brainless horny guys. We were great friends. Guess how much sex talk or suggestive conversations we had? Zero. Yet we loved hanging out online together and had lots of fun and deep conversations.
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My ex always says such things in Church. Men want sex. Watch out with men If they're not set free. I know because I was like That before God set me free. A lot of times His advise is very helpful for the naïeve stupid women, but not every Guy is like That. I met guys on dating sites who are not addicted to porn and who are just friends with women. One just let a friend sleep over, because He was just decent and almost blind lol. I Said: oh that's handy. He doesn't have to pluck His eyes ou. He just doesn't have That problem.
I can't be real good friends, because then I crush, it's not a sexual but an emotional problem, If he's decent and to him I'm just one of His 'just friends'. I had a crush on Sydlit, but I'm not gonna call him. I protect myself. He's not ever gonna marry me, so what's the use of getting emotionally attached? That only creates wrong expectations and trouble. I am just friends with guys I had a crush on. Once a month or so we chat a bit, that's all there is to the friendship. I can be a good friend with my brother or Son, not with a single Guy.
 
B

BeyondET

Guest
#111
#111
lords_counselor23 said:
It's extremely rare for a man to be able to see a woman as a pure friend, without any type of intimate thought. Men are so visually distracted and frequently think of sex! Women are a little different. We could have a guy friend and keep him in the "friend zone"as needed.
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yea ok.. Probably because its been extremely rare you've been able to think beyond that thinking you have of men, surely from your experience with men.
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#112
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
112
0
#112
BeyondET said:
yea ok.. Probably because its been extremely rare you've been able to think beyond that thinking you have of men, surely from your experience with men.
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I'm not sure if you ever thought about this or not but we did only sacrifice a rib. Imagine for a moment what we may have gotten if we say for instance, traded an arm or a leg or even both! Lol
 
B

BeyondET

Guest
#113
#113
Sirk said:
I'm not sure if you ever thought about this or not but we did only sacrifice a rib. Imagine for a moment what we may have gotten if we say for instance, traded an arm or a leg or even both! Lol
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Haha I have no idea where that would lead, but I was a little ticked about the statement that men want only sex lol. :)
 
L

lords_counselor23

Guest
#116
#116
BeyondET said:
yea ok.. Probably because its been extremely rare you've been able to think beyond that thinking you have of men, surely from your experience with men.
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I know we don't know one another and that's understood, but it appears that you're a sensitive type of guy. Very sorry to have offended you. I'm out spoken and not easily offended so your reply is taken lightly. Im also attractive so there could be some truth to "my experiences". I'll leave my comments at that...thanks for your reply :)
 
L

lords_counselor23

Guest
#117
#117
zeroturbulence said:
That is the truth. And it's even been scientifically proven...

This is a scientific study that was done at a university with 88 pairs of students. They were not allowed to discuss the study at all with their friends (both male or female)..

"In order to investigate the viability of truly platonic opposite-sex friendships..... researchers brought 88 pairs of undergraduate opposite-sex friends into…a science lab. Privacy was paramount—for example, imagine the fallout if two friends learned that one—and only one—had unspoken romantic feelings for the other throughout their relationship. In order to ensure honest responses, the researchers not only followed standard protocols regarding anonymity and confidentiality, but also required both friends to agree—verbally, and in front of each other—to refrain from discussing the study, even after they had left the testing facility. These friendship pairs were then separated,and each member of each pair was asked a series of questions related to his or her romantic feelings (or lack thereof) toward the friend with whom they were taking the study...."

"....The results suggest large gender differences in how men and women experience opposite-sex friendships. Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief..."

Source: Men and Women Can't Be "Just Friends" - Scientific American
Click to expand...
Thank you for that wonderful feedback "Zero". Gotta love that scientific evidence. #thumbsup
 
JasonNosneh

JasonNosneh

Senior Member
#118
Aug 2, 2015
110
4
18
#118
Most of the times no... I learned that the hard way. Is it possible yes, but rare and in most cases one of the two will develop feelings if they are both single. Just my personal experience.
 
L

lords_counselor23

Guest
#119
#119
Ugly said:
Entirely incorrect. I mostly have female friends. Mostly non-romantic in nature. In some cases the attraction wasn't on my end, but their attraction to me. But whether i was attracted, they were, both or neither friendships have maintained and been completely fine.
Basically all you said was 'men can't be friends with women because all they want is sex and can't see women any other way'. A rather offensive statement. Women can be just as guilty of this and it's becoming more and more common that they do struggle.
I was friends online with a woman who was a stripper, so you might think that would be a huge problem for one of us brainless horny guys. We were great friends. Guess how much sex talk or suggestive conversations we had? Zero. Yet we loved hanging out online together and had lots of fun and deep conversations.
Click to expand...

I appreciate your reply. First...I'm very sorry I offended you. I use the name Lords counselor because I put it out there straight up real! Just overlook me if you don't like my words, or continue to reply cuz I enjoy the dialogue. Second...I must commend you on being a rare breed of a man. That's repectable. But please note that I DID NOT SAY ALL MEN WANT SEX!! Go back and read my original statement. Its funny to me how I can be very specific with my words but someone like yourself comes along, get there feelings hurt and put there own little spin on it, giving it entirely different meaning. That's exactly how rumors get started ya know that right? I did credit the few men who are able to maintain female friendships without desiring to cross the lines. That's why I carefully chose my words and said male/female friends minus sex initiatives are "rare" (but can occur). I also said men "frequently", as opposed to always, think of sex. In all fairness, quite a difference there in what you interpreted! Finally.... i agree with you that women have more of a casual sexual nature than in times past. I think it's due to liberal thinking combined with "if you can't beat em, join em" faulty thinking. That's sad, but probably truth! And stop calling the male species "BRAINLESS". That's rude!! I never said that and neither should you. It causes rumors to spread!!
 
L

lords_counselor23

Guest
#120
#120
JasonNosneh said:
Most of the times no... I learned that the hard way. Is it possible yes, but rare and in most cases one of the two will develop feelings if they are both single. Just my personal experience.
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We seeing things eye to eye Jason. It can be rough to experience that one on one. I feel like most men and/or women try real hard not to cross the line. You may never see it coming, but you look up and....bang!! You find may find yourself having true, legitimate "feelings". Real Men have a natural nature to want to hold and protect a woman and a woman has a natural desire to want that protection from a man. If they care for each other as a friends, one thing could lead to the next.....the rest is history. That's just a lil scenerio I see happening that has nothing to do with lustful thoughts! Just two good friends slipping up and sharing an experience. ..smh
 
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