dating 101 as a new convert ina seemingly lost world

[Lynx]

The difference between a job and a spouse (and where the analogy breaks down for me) is I NEED a job, whereas I don't even particularly want a spouse. If serendipity is dippy enough to send me one I'm open to the idea, but I don't really see a need for a relationship in my life.

But if I did think I needed a relationship, yes Rachel's advice would be good. You have a lot better chance getting out there and looking than just sitting around hoping a relationship will happen.

Also take your time and make sure you are getting what you want. If you get a car or a computer because "I need one RIGHT NOW!" you will not get what you really want, because you will sacrifice features in the name of immediacy. The same seems to be true of spouses. I know lots of people, men and women, who thought they had to find a spouse RIGHT NOW and wound up being very unhappy because they took the first partner that said yes.

 

[Mel85]

How are you supposed to find somebody if you are not looking for them?

Sure many people meet each other in a serendipitous manner but their paths crossed through school or work or just geographic proximity.

However to get something started there was intent and interest expressed.

Dating and having relationships is just like finding a job. Can you expect a job to land in your lap? Sometimes it just might through your network or a chance encounter. Sometimes God might just give you one out of the blue. Hey, nothing is impossible.

But for the most part, for many people finding a job means putting out a resume, contacting people, applying to positions, visiting job fairs etc.

It is great if you are not looking for someone and you are content with life. If its working for you, that is just fabulous. (This isn’t directed at anyone particularly, but in general a reference to people who subscribe to that school of thought)

In my opinion, if someone wants to find a date or a relationship, they need to put themselves out there.
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Go to a church, find groups to be a part of, network, meet people with similar interests. If you like someone, don't be afraid to go out and say it.
We live in a world where men and women are equal and if a woman likes a man, she should not be shy to take the first step.
If you have to, use dating apps in your vicinity. You don't have to compromise on your sexual purity. If someone is being a jerk, you know they are not right for you.
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For everything guard your heart.

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You don’t have to marry the first person who shows interest in you. Take your time to get to know someone. With dating apps and online dating in general, you can also narrow down your preferences - how tall a person should be, what occupation he might be having etc.

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I don’t recommend dating someone on anonymous online chat forums like this. To start with, it isn’t a dating site. Most relationships on here end up being scams.​

Good point. And if you do find someone, pray about it

 

[deer92]

totally relatable

 

[zeroturbulence]

How are you supposed to find somebody if you are not looking for them?

Sure many people meet each other in a serendipitous manner but their paths crossed through school or work or just geographic proximity.

However to get something started there was intent and interest expressed.

Dating and having relationships is just like finding a job. Can you expect a job to land in your lap? Sometimes it just might through your network or a chance encounter. Sometimes God might just give you one out of the blue. Hey, nothing is impossible.

But for the most part, for many people finding a job means putting out a resume, contacting people, applying to positions, visiting job fairs etc.

It is great if you are not looking for someone and you are content with life. If its working for you, that is just fabulous. (This isn’t directed at anyone particularly, but in general a reference to people who subscribe to that school of thought)

In my opinion, if someone wants to find a date or a relationship, they need to put themselves out there.
​

Go to a church, find groups to be a part of, network, meet people with similar interests. If you like someone, don't be afraid to go out and say it.
We live in a world where men and women are equal and if a woman likes a man, she should not be shy to take the first step.
If you have to, use dating apps in your vicinity. You don't have to compromise on your sexual purity. If someone is being a jerk, you know they are not right for you.
​

For everything guard your heart.

​

You don’t have to marry the first person who shows interest in you. Take your time to get to know someone. With dating apps and online dating in general, you can also narrow down your preferences - how tall a person should be, what occupation he might be having etc.

​

I don’t recommend dating someone on anonymous online chat forums like this. To start with, it isn’t a dating site. Most relationships on here end up being scams.
​

From what I've seen... that really depends on how attractive the person is.... If a woman is fairly attractive, guys will be tripping over themselves to get her attention...

 

[Lynx]

By the way... I've been meaning to say something.

We live in a world where men and women are equal and if a woman likes a man, she should not be shy to take the first step.​

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Yes, please! Women please listen to this advice! A lot of men would ask you out but they are afraid you will not only say no but you and your friends will laugh at him. Men are afraid of this because they have heard so many women laughing about so many guys who asked them out.

And don't depend on subtle hints you send him to get him to ask you out. Men are dense. We don't get subtle hints too good. If you are depending on giving your target guy hints, you will probably walk away thinking he doesn't like you because he didn't take the hints and ask you out. It's not that he ignored your hints, it's that he didn't see them. ASK THE GUY OUT!

 

[deer92]

i guess lonliness affects us all at some point

 

[deer92]

wow,this has realy given me encouragement...lol dont know you much,but i doubt you are like that character from that movie

 

[Mel85]

From what I've seen... that really depends on how attractive the person is.... If a woman is fairly attractive, guys will be tripping over themselves to get her attention...

Depends... your idea of “attractiveness” might differ to someone else’s idea of “attractivness”.

Not all men have the same taste in women

And that goes for both the inward and outward appearance.

 

[Oncefallen]

Find yourself a good christian man and don't have sex. That's basically it.

.......til after your married

and all this time I thought Christians reproduced asexually.

And don't get married til 30...

(just kidding!.... maybe )

I saw this and the first thing that went through my mind was, "where has Lil_Christian been?"

 

[zeroturbulence]

and all this time I thought Christians reproduced asexually.



I saw this and the first thing that went through my mind was, "where has Lil_Christian been?"

That's exactly where I got that from, Jim!