Dating non-christians.

[simplymeganne]

I know that it's frowned upon for a Christian girl to date men who aren't Christians, but I can't date Christian men. I haven't met one who I get along with. I think I'm just so different from the rest of the Christian community, but I would never change a single thing about myself.
For one: I'm a big supporter of the lgbt community. Jesus hung around lepers and prostitutes, I hang around a lot of gays. I tell them about Jesus, and I send them bible quotes, and I do everything in my power to help them find the Lord. Thats what it means to be Christian, in my book. Helping sinners find Christ.
I also have a lot of piercings (three on each of my lobes, my ears are gauged to 9/16ths, belly button, three cartilage and an industrial, as well as my nose). I dye and bleach my hair often. I'm getting tattoos next month. If my body is a temple, I'm going to decorate it.
The guy who I'm seeing right now is 20, he has gauges, a septum piercing, tattoos, and plays in a few metal bands. This had made a lot of my friends uneasy when they meet him, but the thing is, he's really sweet, and he's a great person, and he believes in Christ.

I feel like Christian guys judge me based on my appearance. There are lots of great looking guys at my church, and some of them have liked me, but it never lasts. There's just something missing. I'm not willing to change the way I look, or my friends, or even my attitude for a man. I just wish I could meet a good Christian boy who liked me for me. :/

My past relationships were with:
-a die hard atheist.
-a boy who claimed christianity, but said religion was stupid.
-a boy who went to church with me, but then went and slept around becos I wasn't "fulfilling his sexual needs with my abstinance."

I'm just a bit stressed about all of this. Especially cos I'm dying my hair lavander next month, I feel like it's going to get even more difficult.

 

[Nattmaran]

I know that it's frowned upon for a Christian girl to date men who aren't Christians, but I can't date Christian men. I haven't met one who I get along with. I think I'm just so different from the rest of the Christian community, but I would never change a single thing about myself.
For one: I'm a big supporter of the lgbt community. Jesus hung around lepers and prostitutes, I hang around a lot of gays. I tell them about Jesus, and I send them bible quotes, and I do everything in my power to help them find the Lord. Thats what it means to be Christian, in my book. Helping sinners find Christ.
I also have a lot of piercings (three on each of my lobes, my ears are gauged to 9/16ths, belly button, three cartilage and an industrial, as well as my nose). I dye and bleach my hair often. I'm getting tattoos next month. If my body is a temple, I'm going to decorate it.
The guy who I'm seeing right now is 20, he has gauges, a septum piercing, tattoos, and plays in a few metal bands. This had made a lot of my friends uneasy when they meet him, but the thing is, he's really sweet, and he's a great person, and he believes in Christ.

I feel like Christian guys judge me based on my appearance. There are lots of great looking guys at my church, and some of them have liked me, but it never lasts. There's just something missing. I'm not willing to change the way I look, or my friends, or even my attitude for a man. I just wish I could meet a good Christian boy who liked me for me. :/

My past relationships were with:
-a die hard atheist.
-a boy who claimed christianity, but said religion was stupid.
-a boy who went to church with me, but then went and slept around becos I wasn't "fulfilling his sexual needs with my abstinance."

I'm just a bit stressed about all of this. Especially cos I'm dying my hair lavander next month, I feel like it's going to get even more difficult.

I sort of get what you mean. Most of my friends are atheists and I also have two muslims friends a copule of gays as well so... it is a mixed lot. And I agree that it is strange that my christian friends are those who are most narrow minded and unforgiving.

I think you should date the person... not the religion. But there are christian guys that are more layed back. You know the ones that do not judge and understand that life is for living and understand that piercings and dyed hair does not mean that you are a satanist. The trouble is only to find them...

But... love... follow love and you will be allright.

Myself I could never be with a person that did not accept my friends and other peoples way of life!

 

[Ugly]

You're only 17. Why not skip worrying about dating at all, focus on your schooling, focus on your walk with God and just use this time to do things now that you're single and have that freedom? Take this time to learn about marriage as well. Read about it, what the bible says about it, talk to happy couples to see why their marriages work. Talk to divorced people to see where they went wrong.

 

[ChosenbyHim]

I know that it's frowned upon for a Christian girl to date men who aren't Christians, but I can't date Christian men. I haven't met one who I get along with. I think I'm just so different from the rest of the Christian community, but I would never change a single thing about myself.
For one: I'm a big supporter of the lgbt community. Jesus hung around lepers and prostitutes, I hang around a lot of gays. I tell them about Jesus, and I send them bible quotes, and I do everything in my power to help them find the Lord. Thats what it means to be Christian, in my book. Helping sinners find Christ.
I also have a lot of piercings (three on each of my lobes, my ears are gauged to 9/16ths, belly button, three cartilage and an industrial, as well as my nose). I dye and bleach my hair often. I'm getting tattoos next month. If my body is a temple, I'm going to decorate it.
The guy who I'm seeing right now is 20, he has gauges, a septum piercing, tattoos, and plays in a few metal bands. This had made a lot of my friends uneasy when they meet him, but the thing is, he's really sweet, and he's a great person, and he believes in Christ.

I feel like Christian guys judge me based on my appearance. There are lots of great looking guys at my church, and some of them have liked me, but it never lasts. There's just something missing. I'm not willing to change the way I look, or my friends, or even my attitude for a man. I just wish I could meet a good Christian boy who liked me for me. :/

My past relationships were with:
-a die hard atheist.
-a boy who claimed christianity, but said religion was stupid.
-a boy who went to church with me, but then went and slept around becos I wasn't "fulfilling his sexual needs with my abstinance."

I'm just a bit stressed about all of this. Especially cos I'm dying my hair lavander next month, I feel like it's going to get even more difficult.

simplymeaganne,

I am just going to say that Tattoos are not of the Lord. Here is Scripture to back up what I am saying:

Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD. - Leviticus 19:28 (Holy Bible)

And in-regard to some of the past relationships you have had. The Bible does say this about relationships.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? - 2 Corinthians 6:14 (Holy Bible)

I know you may not want to hear this simplymeganne, but it is important that I shared that with you. And also; just to let you know, that just because someone says their a Christian, doesn't necessarily mean that they are. Just use a little discernment when it comes to the kind of people you date. That boy who went to church with you and wanted to have sex, I am fairly confident that he may not have truly been saved. I am just saying that's all. Another thing to ask yourself is did that boy read his Bible on a regular basis or even at all? That's another good indicator to whether or not the guy you are talking to and seeing is truly saved or not. Well, I encourage you to seriously consider and think about what has been said here simplymeganne. And I hope this helped you, enjoy your week and shalom,

 

[mystdancer50]

Wait on God. Trust me. It is always worth it.

As a Christian, it is not 'frowned upon' to date non-Christians, it is against God's will and plan for your life. The Bible specifically says to not be unequally yoked by marrying/dating non-Christians. God either has a spouse for you or not. Wait on Him. He knows what is best for you. He has a perfect plan. Trust Him, wait on Him, do not waver, stay on the path. It is always, always, always worth it.

The Mirror - YouTube

 

[Jullianna]

The OP did not invite anyone to attack her appearance or give their opinions about her tattoos. She's asking about dating, so it would be great to stick to the topic and not derail her thread by attacking her personally.

There are dangers in personal relationships with non-christians, that's why the Bible warns God's people against it throughout both the OT and the NT.

God has people in so many different walks of life and who all look so very different. The scriptures say:

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” I Samuel 16:7

As His people, we should do the same.

simplymeganne, there are a LOT of young christians on CC who dye their hair bright colors (I've even put bright blue streaks in mine before haha), have a lot of piercings and/or tatts. They have amazing hearts, wisdom and exceptional insight. Don't let anyone put you in a box. God doesn't.

 

[Ritter]

Call dating off for a couple of years; give yourself time to develop individually. Ask yourself the important questions that logically flow from one to the next:

What does God want for my life?
How would he have me act to fulfill what he wants for my life?
What kind of person is best for me to be with?
Are the people I am dating and associating with helping or hindering my development as a Christian?

Half the reason people will be prone to derail the thread is that you rightly pointed out how other aspects of life affect your dating life. No part of life exists in a vacuum.

I am not going to express my judgment concerning your situation. Others have and surely will. What I am going to say is that God may direct you toward making lifestyle changes to suit his plan. How you react to this call will dictate more than who agrees to marry you someday.

 

[Jullianna]

simplymeganne, I have been praying for you this morning. Your post really touched me. Why? Because it wasn't so long ago that a christian tomboy teen who cut her hair to her shoulders and/or wore jeans because she didn't want to wear a skort that showed her underwear when she played softball like all of the other good lil christian girls was shunned by other christians and rebuked by a pastor. It broke her heart and she let it drive her away from the Lord. That was very stupid of her. It got her into a lot of trouble that she could have avoided. Just seemed like something she needed to share with you.

We are to be like HIM, not everyone else And He looks on the heart.
God bless <3

 

[PopClick]

Call dating off for a couple of years; give yourself time to develop individually. Ask yourself the important questions that logically flow from one to the next:

What does God want for my life?
How would he have me act to fulfill what he wants for my life?
What kind of person is best for me to be with?
Are the people I am dating and associating with helping or hindering my development as a Christian?

Half the reason people will be prone to derail the thread is that you rightly pointed out how other aspects of life affect your dating life. No part of life exists in a vacuum.

I am not going to express my judgment concerning your situation. Others have and surely will. What I am going to say is that God may direct you toward making lifestyle changes to suit his plan. How you react to this call will dictate more than who agrees to marry you someday.

+1. Nah, scratch that. +10.

 

[sllhouette]

Your 17. You have so much time ahead of you. Focus on your faith and God will provide. If you can't trust God with bringing you to marriage, then you probably won't trust God with maintaining your marriage.

Try to be friends with good christian men. Yes, some will turn away from you. God still has much work to do with them and they are not ready for marriage.

I know you are lonely. In my experience relationships don't make you less lonely. If you want to be happy then Love the lord with all you mind, all your heart, all your soul, and all you strength and Love you neighbor as yourself. Meditate on how Christ Loves others and seek to imitate that Love. Meditate on Christ's patience.

 

[pusparinjani]

I know that it's frowned upon for a Christian girl to date men who aren't Christians, but I can't date Christian men. I haven't met one who I get along with. I think I'm just so different from the rest of the Christian community, but I would never change a single thing about myself.
For one: I'm a big supporter of the lgbt community. Jesus hung around lepers and prostitutes, I hang around a lot of gays. I tell them about Jesus, and I send them bible quotes, and I do everything in my power to help them find the Lord. Thats what it means to be Christian, in my book. Helping sinners find Christ.
I also have a lot of piercings (three on each of my lobes, my ears are gauged to 9/16ths, belly button, three cartilage and an industrial, as well as my nose). I dye and bleach my hair often. I'm getting tattoos next month. If my body is a temple, I'm going to decorate it.
The guy who I'm seeing right now is 20, he has gauges, a septum piercing, tattoos, and plays in a few metal bands. This had made a lot of my friends uneasy when they meet him, but the thing is, he's really sweet, and he's a great person, and he believes in Christ.

I feel like Christian guys judge me based on my appearance. There are lots of great looking guys at my church, and some of them have liked me, but it never lasts. There's just something missing. I'm not willing to change the way I look, or my friends, or even my attitude for a man. I just wish I could meet a good Christian boy who liked me for me. :/

My past relationships were with:
-a die hard atheist.
-a boy who claimed christianity, but said religion was stupid.
-a boy who went to church with me, but then went and slept around becos I wasn't "fulfilling his sexual needs with my abstinance."

I'm just a bit stressed about all of this. Especially cos I'm dying my hair lavander next month, I feel like it's going to get even more difficult.

hi!
i think when it comes to a relationship u r not only have to look if they are a Christian or not, but u have to look about how close are they to GOD. and in their life, do they do everything that God has told to us ?

well i had 2 relationship and they are Christians... but maybe i could say theyre not really close to God.. why i said that ?? because when i was in the relationship i just forgt about God and did tons of bad thing in the God's eyes.. as u can see, they are Christians but when it comes to the relationship :/ i cant say it was a healthy relationship

ive liked someone before, but hes not Christian. and when i asked God 'is he the one for me?' and as the time goes by, that feeling just gone, and i know from that situation, God never let me to date non-Christian guy..

i have 6 piercings as well, sometimes people would judge me about my piercing, they would say im a bad girl or whatever.but i dont care, because God loves me! He never judge me from my appearance

hey, how old r u? 17 ? so am i!

i know its soo hard to be single sometimes.. ive been single for more than a year but Jesus always be with me& you ! people might leave you for some reasons but not Jesus!

God wants us to have a close relationship with Him first and after that i believe you will meet someone . someone special from our lovely God! Hes the only one that know about what's the best for you!

God has the perfect timing for everything in our life! and it includes to the relationship

His timing is never late, never early, it takes a patience and faith. but its worth the wait!

God bless xxx

 

[surfs_for_christ]

I am not going to say anything that you are 17 and young because so am I and in the Bible

1 Timothy 4:12
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

whether that means you are ready to look for marriage I don't know. Marriage created by God, is the joining of two separate hearts into one in front of God, so that you both can lead each other to Him. I think finding a passionate man for Christ is important because he will challenge you to become stronger in your faith with your Lord. I think you're, as far as I understand, are talking about a man who is luke-warm Christian. A man on fire with the Lord is in a seperate ball park from luke warm ones. That is just my insight as a fellow teen, hope it helps. Praying for you

 

[Oncefallen]

To the OP. Some people's advice/input is best ignored when it is given in a condemning way. Although it is likely that ChosenbyHim meant well, your tattoo's are a personal choice that the New Testament is silent on. Somehow I doubt he abides by Lev 19:19 in not wearing blended fabrics, or Lev 19:28 in not clipping his beard.

The New Testament however does address intimate relationships with unbelievers. 2nd Corinthians 6:14 does direct us to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Although it is most frequently applied to dating and marriage, I believe it applies to all close relationships including business partnerships etc. The image given in this passage is from agriculture where two oxen would be yoked together to pull a plow or wagon. If the oxen were of different size or strength it would be a nightmare trying to steer them. Likewise if we as Christians are yoked to an unbeliever, we create a nightmare. Inevitably the unbeliever will drag down the believer. I learned the wisdom in this passage well in my younger years by not following it's command and time and again I was dragged farther from the Lord.

To reiterate what other have said, you are still young and both you and the guys in your age bracket still have some maturing to do. Focus on the things that matter; school, your walk with the Lord, family and friends. The rest will come in time.

 

[GreenNnice]

I know that it's frowned upon for a Christian girl to date men who aren't Christians, but I can't date Christian men. I haven't met one who I get along with. I think I'm just so different from the rest of the Christian community, but I would never change a single thing about myself.
For one: I'm a big supporter of the lgbt community. Jesus hung around lepers and prostitutes, I hang around a lot of gays. I tell them about Jesus, and I send them bible quotes, and I do everything in my power to help them find the Lord. Thats what it means to be Christian, in my book. Helping sinners find Christ.
I also have a lot of piercings (three on each of my lobes, my ears are gauged to 9/16ths, belly button, three cartilage and an industrial, as well as my nose). I dye and bleach my hair often. I'm getting tattoos next month. If my body is a temple, I'm going to decorate it.
The guy who I'm seeing right now is 20, he has gauges, a septum piercing, tattoos, and plays in a few metal bands. This had made a lot of my friends uneasy when they meet him, but the thing is, he's really sweet, and he's a great person, and he believes in Christ.

I feel like Christian guys judge me based on my appearance. There are lots of great looking guys at my church, and some of them have liked me, but it never lasts. There's just something missing. I'm not willing to change the way I look, or my friends, or even my attitude for a man. I just wish I could meet a good Christian boy who liked me for me. :/

My past relationships were with:
-a die hard atheist.
-a boy who claimed christianity, but said religion was stupid.
-a boy who went to church with me, but then went and slept around becos I wasn't "fulfilling his sexual needs with my abstinance."

I'm just a bit stressed about all of this. Especially cos I'm dying my hair lavander next month, I feel like it's going to get even more difficult.

=====
The Lord leads, I just ask, Meg, whatever you do do do it for the glory of God and not the glory of yourself. I sure wish someone had told me that when I was 17Selfishness will bring your countenance down and, like Cain, sin will crouch at your door. Glory for God alone, my best advice. , this goes for what you do, who you do it with and many more 'dos.' That covers it, start RIGHT NOW living your life in the Spirit, and, if you already know you have taken that mandated 'receive' step to your walk with God then let no one and nothing stop you from what is right from Him.

God is with you, I'm praying that you build your life up with Him, our Rock, our Comforter, our Healer, our provider, our Saviour
I pray you realize you are beautiful and do not get caught up into a life that is going to cause you to lose spirit in serving Him . I will say it, despite not sure the Lord is leading me to say it....

I pray God is speaking to you through what others posted, that ALL is filtered through your mind with the Spirit leading, for I feel that you're yearning for God now, not a good Christian guy. Once you do find Him, and, you will if you wholly heartedly search (read The Word, Jeremiah 29:11-13 ), you will be ready to find him, a good Christian guy who sees you as the young woman God intends him to see in you.

God bless you, milady, your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and God gave believers-all who received Him in baptism (not water) after being born again-this gift of Himself to guide you greatly , with protection, discernment, understanding, power, blessing , giving, etc., as you draw closer to Him and He does draw closer to you

 

[niceguyJ]

The New Testament however does address intimate relationships with unbelievers. 2nd Corinthians 6:14 does direct us to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Although it is most frequently applied to dating and marriage, I believe it applies to all close relationships including business partnerships etc. The image given in this passage is from agriculture where two oxen would be yoked together to pull a plow or wagon. If the oxen were of different size or strength it would be a nightmare trying to steer them. Likewise if we as Christians are yoked to an unbeliever, we create a nightmare. Inevitably the unbeliever will drag down the believer. I learned the wisdom in this passage well in my younger years by not following it's command and time and again I was dragged farther from the Lord.

Amen.

I also see something else in that verse and analogy. I think it's possible for two Christians to be unequally yoked with each other.
For example: Both can love God but still be heading in two different directions/callings in life. In that case, it wouldn't be right either. Seeing as God should come first, neither should give up their calling from God to be with the other.
I'm sure there are other examples that fit in there too...like if the two are in completely different places in their walks with God. That could cause some conflict as well.

I just think there is a lot to that verse.

 

[simplymeganne]

WOW! so many helpful responses. Thank you all. I've been praying a lot lately (especially about the new guy in my life). And God seems to be giving me the green light. He actually stayed up on the phone with me til 2am the other night reading scripture, and he's pretty stoked about me dying my hair. I'm going to see his band play in San Fransisco tomorrow. It should be a blast. I will continue to pray and see where things go.

I'm still getting my tattoos. Seriously, nothing is going to stop me. Haha.

 

[GreenNnice]

WOW! so many helpful responses. Thank you all. I've been praying a lot lately (especially about the new guy in my life). And God seems to be giving me the green light. He actually stayed up on the phone with me til 2am the other night reading scripture, and he's pretty stoked about me dying my hair. I'm going to see his band play in San Fransisco tomorrow. It should be a blast. I will continue to pray and see where things go.

I'm still getting my tattoos. Seriously, nothing is going to stop me. Haha.

_______--
Nothing should stop you from doing anything, except God, His Spirit, is He living through you, Meg, or, rather, I should say, are YOU living your life through Him, to please Him, which I can guarantee you will purely lead to a joyously abounding life that will please you too

How to know IF you should 'stop,' you see a yellow light that is really about to turn red....

You look to His Word, it is of Love, great Love to help you get through EVERYTHING you do. Hard to understand exactly, I know I know, but He will show your great and amazing verses IF you let Him and are purely seeking Him, as I said a post ago, referencing Jeremiah 29: 11-13.

you do know to pray, and, you will know from that praying what God wants of you next. It will be a GOOD thing too, with hope and goodness, for NO evil.

You just will yourself, young lady, to let Him lead. If you ever get in a really tight spot, remember that song, 'Jesus Take The Wheel.'

 

[simplymeganne]

_______--
Nothing should stop you from doing anything, except God, His Spirit, is He living through you, Meg, or, rather, I should say, are YOU living your life through Him, to please Him, which I can guarantee you will purely lead to a joyously abounding life that will please you too

How to know IF you should 'stop,' you see a yellow light that is really about to turn red....

You look to His Word, it is of Love, great Love to help you get through EVERYTHING you do. Hard to understand exactly, I know I know, but He will show your great and amazing verses IF you let Him and are purely seeking Him, as I said a post ago, referencing Jeremiah 29: 11-13.

you do know to pray, and, you will know from that praying what God wants of you next. It will be a GOOD thing too, with hope and goodness, for NO evil.

You just will yourself, young lady, to let Him lead. If you ever get in a really tight spot, remember that song, 'Jesus Take The Wheel.'

you're lovely. thank you.

 

[Lucy68]

You are a unique member of God's family and not afraid to be different. Good for you !

As long as God is happy with you, it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. I doubt physical addages affect your spirit and soul. It's a question of personal taste, not salvation.

You'll meet the guy of your dreams someday, just be patient

 

[DavidvanHolten]

-a boy who claimed christianity, but said religion was stupid.

This guy was right !