Dating versus "hanging out"

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Betziboo87

Guest
#21
#21
chickwithsticks said:
Most threads here evolve this way through discussions but I know exactly what you mean. I also didnt mean to imply you were looking for advice..sorry about that.

But I came back to compliment you on having the courage to look at how your dating life is changing as you grow in your faith! It may sound like an obvious statement but that is not always the case unfortunately. Keep praying over this friendship!!!
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You definitely have no need to apologize. I am grateful for your responses. It has really been an interesting transition for me and I did not really consult God as much as I should have when I started trying to date after my divorce. It has not been easy for sure. I have had a couple heartbreaks since then and had a great friend give me a book to read that really put some things into perspective. I have a new outlook on it and one major thing is that I have realized I wasn't created with the sole purpose of being someone's wife. I have had to learn to be okay being single and my prayer has been to be content in my singleness unless God brings me someone. I do feel like things could go somewhere with this guy though and maybe this is God bringing us together. We have been working together in an area of ministry for a few years now so there was interaction there well before we started moving towards anything else. I am going to continue praying for guidance and watch God work in whatever way He sees fit. He never ceases to amaze me when I look back on things and see how He fits all the puzzle pieces together. Thanks again for your input and I hope you have a great day :)
 
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Betziboo87

Guest
#22
#22
Ugly said:
I think part of the issue is the term 'dating' seems to have changed from what it once was. Dating originally meant a couple that were seeing each other romantically and exclusively and that this has been discussed and agreed on. Basically it meant being in a relationship. I don't know if it's coincidence or what, but it seems to me as online dating became more popular the definition of 'dating' has become more varied and blurred as people are attempting to redefine the term. But i know if someone says 'i'm dating X person' my thought is 'they are in a committed, romantic relationship'. So using that term may bring about confusion and what some people think it means.
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You are so correct that these terms are so confusing these days. You also make a good point about the perception for others looking in. If we were to tell people we are dating they would think relationship, which we are not in. I feel like we are in some kind of in between land where we are more than just friends but not at the relationship stage and that's why I see what we do as dating vs hanging out. Is there a term for the in between? lol
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#23
Aug 13, 2014
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#23
Sure there is a term for it. It's called It's Complicated.

"So is this it? Does this mean we are a couple now?"
"I don't know... I like you, I just... Don't know."
"Well, will you be my it's complicated on Facebook?"
 
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Ugly

Guest
#24
#24
Betziboo87 said:
You are so correct that these terms are so confusing these days. You also make a good point about the perception for others looking in. If we were to tell people we are dating they would think relationship, which we are not in. I feel like we are in some kind of in between land where we are more than just friends but not at the relationship stage and that's why I see what we do as dating vs hanging out. Is there a term for the in between? lol
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'Into each other'? hahaha. 'Just getting to know each other'? Don't think there is an in between term because for most people that time is short. But the girl i spoke of in my first post in this thread, we were friends 9 months before i finally asked her out. Until then we were simply best friends. But it was obvious to anyone i spoke about her to that there was more going on.
Anyways, i'm in a rambling mode, so i better just stop talking now. =P
 
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Betziboo87

Guest
#25
#25
Ugly said:
'Into each other'? hahaha. 'Just getting to know each other'? Don't think there is an in between term because for most people that time is short. But the girl i spoke of in my first post in this thread, we were friends 9 months before i finally asked her out. Until then we were simply best friends. But it was obvious to anyone i spoke about her to that there was more going on.
Anyways, i'm in a rambling mode, so i better just stop talking now. =P
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Awww! 9 months seems like a long time for sure. Me and this guy have known each other for about 4 years, friends for about 3 years through the ministry we work with at church, and established we were "into each other" about 18 months ago. We have only begun really interacting with each other outside of church and being intentional about getting to know each other better for about 7-8 weeks though. So this seems to have been in the making for a long time. I told him it was about time he asked me out and he just laughed. But I have been waiting on him forever lol. Some people at church sense there's been something there for awhile, but if asked I tell them we are just friends and try not to blush. Lol!
 
DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
#26
Apr 27, 2011
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#26
As my grandfather would say, "Fish or cut bait."



I think hanging out for a while is fine, but if y'all like each other, you need to fish or cut bait. There's no need to drag out the "Does he/she like me?" thing. Maybe it's because I'm older, but I just don't have time for a long, drawn out, pins and needles, emotionally draining prelude. If you like me, tell me. Step up, say something. Speak your mind. It drives me nuts when people don't or won't speak their mind.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#27
Aug 2, 2009
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#27
DuchessAimee said:
As my grandfather would say, "Fish or cut bait."



I think hanging out for a while is fine, but if y'all like each other, you need to fish or cut bait. There's no need to drag out the "Does he/she like me?" thing. Maybe it's because I'm older, but I just don't have time for a long, drawn out, pins and needles, emotionally draining prelude. If you like me, tell me. Step up, say something. Speak your mind. It drives me nuts when people don't or won't speak their mind.
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Or you can just do like I do... know that there's no chance they'd be attracted to you from the get go. :D
 
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Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#28
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
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Philippines Age 40
#28
DuchessAimee said:
As my grandfather would say, "Fish or cut bait."



I think hanging out for a while is fine, but if y'all like each other, you need to fish or cut bait. There's no need to drag out the "Does he/she like me?" thing. Maybe it's because I'm older, but I just don't have time for a long, drawn out, pins and needles, emotionally draining prelude. If you like me, tell me. Step up, say something. Speak your mind. It drives me nuts when people don't or won't speak their mind.
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Its frustrating when people don't say what's on their mind and they let you guess or assume how they feel. I just get tired and give up on them because I don't want to force anyone to do what he doesnt want to do.

Dating and hanging out are the same. The problem is when two people are attracted to each other, they are in denial because both are afraid to be vulnerable.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#29
Jan 26, 2013
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#29
If you love someone let them go, if they come back then it was meant to be. If they don't stalk them on Facebook until they have to get a restraining order.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#30
Mar 26, 2014
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#30
Fenner said:
If you love someone let them go, if they come back then it was meant to be. If they don't stalk them on Facebook until they have to get a restraining order.
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But if you're stalking them on Facebook, have you really let them go?
 
azlightsout

azlightsout

Senior Member
#31
Apr 20, 2016
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#31
Fenner said:
If you love someone let them go, if they come back then it was meant to be. If they don't stalk them on Facebook until they have to get a restraining order.
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thank god i dont have a facebook
 
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Church2u2

Guest
#32
#32
Well I thought when you hung out with someone you just chilled together doing something casual that you both liked .But dating sounds like the beginning of a relationship. To me a date is when two people have more than "friends" feelings for each other. It's like a set up for romance. But I could be wrong.
 
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spunkycat08

Senior Member
#33
Dec 7, 2013
403
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#33
Church2u2 said:
Well I thought when you hung out with someone you just chilled together doing something casual that you both liked .But dating sounds like the beginning of a relationship. To me a date is when two people have more than "friends" feelings for each other. It's like a set up for romance. But I could be wrong.
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It seems that some people have different viewpoints regarding the meaning of "hanging out" and dating.

The only way this will work if if both of them are in the same book and on the same page.
 
AsifinPassing

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
#34
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
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#34
I don't know...sometimes they look PRETTY similar...



"So are you guys..."

"Nah! Nah... we were just 'hanging out'."

"Uh-huh..."
 
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