Do feel that being a virgin, is the cause for your singleness?

[AAAPlus]

A Christian man will value waiting until marriage. The Bible says to only marry a Christian man. That's good advice. Seriously, it is.

Don't settle for a man who pressures you to have sex, or one who just respects your choice. He shouldn't just respect your choice; he should have that same value himself, before he even knows anything about you. Otherwise, he's a faker. A wolf in sheep's clothing.

And it's worth the wait. Trust me. It may be hard for a few years, and then once you're married things will be SO much better because of it. A few hard years now will equate to many, many happy years later.

 

[Liamson]

AAAplus, are you the expert on spotting wolves in sheeps clothing. It seems like a recurring theme.




Sometimes being Naive about relationships can lead to expectations that are unrealistic. That can keep you single for a VERY long time. But experience and virginity are not related when it comes to finding someone to marry.


Realistically, being a Virgin or not should change your ability to fall in love. If anything women who have been down that road have gotten hurt and have trust issues. Which makes it really hard for them to open up and experience life positively, rather than negatively.

 

[1still_waters]

I don't know if it's just me, but from my experience every time I tell a guy that I am virgin and that I am waiting till marriage. They either run away or say they "respect that" but when we are alone they try to get me to give it up. Or if I do date it never last because they eventually expect sex.
So I started to think is being a virgin the cause for my singleness? Do you guys feel the same way sometimes?

....or then again the cause for singleness could be that I am crazy. ...crazy for Jesus that is..HAHA

I think it's all in the presentation for some folks.
Clearly the bible says to wait until marriage.
I'm not speaking against that at all.
But sometimes Christians gals, and guys to a certain extent present their virginity, and availability with a certain air of pretention, arrogance and exclusiveness.

They present themselves as almost this impossible to get commodity. A commodity so rare that if the commodity gives you their attention, you must consider yourself the luckiest man alive seeing you were found worthy of said precious commodity's attention.

These are the types who are making a HUGE point of being an accomplished person on their own without said guy. As if to prove they don't need no man, and once said man gets the attention of said rare commodity, he should be oh so appreciative that such an accomplished woman is paying him any pittance of attention whatsoever. Why? Because accomplished virgin woman living for God don't need no man, and all Christian men must know this. And to an extent said Christian men are to win her oh so so valuable attention by being the accomplished Christian virgin male in return.

So yeah, mix the virgin thing with the above described attitude, and many guys will simply shrug their shoulders and move on. As said accomplished virgin Christian girl continues to view herself as the commodity to be wooo'ed and won by some totally unworthy man.

 

[Relena7]

It never stopped me from getting a boyfriend. If an "experienced" person snubs another strictly due to their lack of sexual experience that is their own issue.

 

[AAAPlus]

It never stopped me from getting a boyfriend. If an "experienced" person snubs another strictly due to their lack of sexual experience that is their own issue.

Yeah I agree. Actually, most often, I've seen the opposite situation ..in my circle people are frowned upon for having had premarital sexual experience and several guys/girls won't date someone who has done those things. Not saying that's right either, that's just what I've seen (again, in my circle, which is mostly church folks).

 

[Loveneverfails]

Gia...
you go girl. keep it up, and don't be discouraged! Like others have said, it can be God's way of protecting you from jerks! Just keep praying for His wisdom and protection. A man of God will not only say he respects your choice, but he will mean it with all his heart. Not that he won't be tempted, especially because you're so pretty, but he will do whatever it takes to honor your purity out of respect for both you and our God.
I had a guy once say he respected my choice but then he "tried" to get me to change my mind. He didn't succeed at all, but not because of me. I was very naive and gullible at the time, and I truly believe God protected me when I didn't have the strength to do it myself. Now I'm so happy I've stuck to my decision. It's all for the glory of God. keep it up, girl!

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

I am so glad you all are putting input in my thread. I always think what I have to say is stupid hahaha

OMG..I am sorry,was just re-reading this & noticed what you said..I wasn't meaning to put down your thread or what you had to say I was just being stupid myself,kinda joking with OceanGrl. I do apologize sincerely though for saying that...was totally inappropriate.

 

[Liamson]

Why would I be a part of a social group that ostracized or accepted people based on such a trivial thing.


Might as well stuff all the guys who are or are not circumcised in a box.


Most of the people who disclose that they are virgins, for them its not a matter of having a hard choice. It is simply that they have never been in a position to have to choose.


I like the idea of being in a culture that values people based upon their present condition or potential, not whatever they did when they weren't who they are now.

 

[gia]

OMG..I am sorry,was just re-reading this & noticed what you said..I wasn't meaning to put down your thread or what you had to say I was just being stupid myself,kinda joking with OceanGrl. I do apologize sincerely though for saying that...was totally inappropriate.

Oh no worries I understood you where kidding lol

 

[Tandemtruths]

I'm not single because I'm a virgin, I'm single because I don't have a girlfriend or wife.

 

[Jamjay]

There is nothing wrong in u being a virgin and thats not d reason 4 ur ''singleness''.I'm 22 and i'm single,and where i'm from most girls lie abt there virginity...or sometimes they(virgins) r fortunate to go into a relationship but after a while they decide to quit d relationship 4 some other ''cool'' guy.Though i'm not a virgin,but coming to know Jesus and me trying to obey Him made me stop all sexual immorality,plus...i want to give my whole being as a good gift to my future wife.....lol.

 

[Tintin]

I agree with the belief that virgins shouldn't place themselves on pedestals but I also think it's sad that people feel attacked by the understanding that some people are virgins. We're not attacking you! You're saved by grace. If you're a virgin, great - celebrate it but be humble. If you're not a virgin but Christ is your Lord, you're covered by his righteousness. There's no need to be bitter about it. I don't think it's fair to share the bitterness when people mean well.

 

[kayem77]

I'm single because I accidentally disclosed to the public my lack of cooking skills.

 

[starfield]

I don't know if it's just me, but from my experience every time I tell a guy that I am virgin and that I am waiting till marriage. They either run away or say they "respect that" but when we are alone they try to get me to give it up. Or if I do date it never last because they eventually expect sex.
So I started to think is being a virgin the cause for my singleness? Do you guys feel the same way sometimes?

....or then again the cause for singleness could be that I am crazy. ...crazy for Jesus that is..HAHA

Better run away fast from such guys. Just because they want physical intimacy doesn't mean they are ready for a committed relationship. Most just want to momentarily please their flesh. I think the right guy will respect your decision and be willing to wait till marriage.


Personally, I embrace courting over dating....just sayin'.

 

[pleasedontbeahypocrite]

I should probably answer your actual question, yes? No, I don't think my virginity is the reason for my singleness. I think my lack of confidence is and also the fact that I tend to like and get along well with girls who are either in a relationship, engaged or married. Obviously, they're completely out-of-bounds. I'm seen more as the funny, lovable guy friend rather than potential husband material. It's weird because I'm not a walking-mat but I'm still considered the 'nice' guy.

This is going to sound shallow, but I honestly think that if you ditch the glasses, shave the beard, and get a better haircut you will have more success! Thankfully those are all things you can change but I think it will help you shave the "loveable teddy bear" image. Try a look that's a little more edgy, it can make a huge difference. I really don't like beards, I think they make guys look like a chia pet lol I'm just being honest... and most of my friends don't like them either. It adds like 10 years

 

[pleasedontbeahypocrite]

haha... @kayem77 if you send me a pm i will be happy to share with you some of my no-fail-man-approved recipes im a true believer that almost anybody can learn how to cook, it really does take practice... and having some stellar, easy-to-prepare recipes doesn't hurt either!

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

This is going to sound shallow, but I honestly think that if you ditch the glasses, shave the beard, and get a better haircut you will have more success! Thankfully those are all things you can change but I think it will help you shave the "loveable teddy bear" image. Try a look that's a little more edgy, it can make a huge difference. I really don't like beards, I think they make guys look like a chia pet lol I'm just being honest... and most of my friends don't like them either. It adds like 10 years

Laffin my buns off at this statement. Do you see your chat name? Have you read the posts you've left on here? Wow! I'm sorry,but what you just said was pretty stinkin' offensive about TinTin,even if you didn't mean it to come across as such. You didn't seem to like other people's preferences or opinions about colors of people's skin...how is this any different?

 

[pleasedontbeahypocrite]

Laffin my buns off at this statement. Do you see your chat name? Have you read the posts you've left on here? Wow! I'm sorry,but what you just said was pretty stinkin' offensive about TinTin,even if you didn't mean it to come across as such. You didn't seem to like other people's preferences or opinions about colors of people's skin...how is this any different?

Because those are things he can actually change... Race and skin color? Not really in anyone's control. Are you seriously trying to draw an anology between racial preferences and switching to contacts? ( Which I myself have done, and things are looking good - no pun intended)

I think it's offensive that you are trying to speak for TinTin when he's a grown man, I think he can speak up for himself, he doesn't need you to caudle him. Clearly you feel the need to fight his battles for him because of the image you think he projects... which is PRECISELY what I'm trying to help him avoid!! If I did offend him, then I will apologize. But this has nothing to do with you. Frankly, YOU seem determined to be offended towards me, and I'm not even talking to you lol you've been following me around from thread to thread allll day. Stalker much? lol

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

You've been posting in areas I have posted in or threads I been involved with,how is that following you or stalking you? Wow! I certainly don't think I have to coddle or fight any battles for TinTin. He is a grown man,but I also consider him a friend. What kind of "image" does he project other that someone who happens to love & be a follower of Christ? LOL yer' right this has nothing to do with me. The fact that you come to this forum & accuse people of being racist & narrow minded because someone might want or not want to date or marry someone of another skin color other than their own is pure insanity.That has EVERYTHING to do with me! I highly doubt anyone here could care less if I married a black woman,Chinese woman,or one with no arms & no legs & if they did then they need to take that up with Jesus,just as you need to take that chip off your shoulders about what people were discussing on the threads looooooooooooooooong before you ever threw your 2 cents in them. If you feel so disappointed in us all & we are such hypocrites,maybe this isn't the place for you. I'm sorry you find the fact that I would disagree with you about what you said concerning TinTin offensive. Yer' right,he very well may not care at all what you said..who knows,maybe he'll find it encouraging to know you care so much about how he can change his appearance for the "better". I humbly stand corrected if that is the case. I am also sorry if you feel as if reading your posts now equates to "stalking" someone. I promise I won't respond or view your posts any longer,I don't want to you to feel "stalked".

 

[Loveneverfails]

This is going to sound shallow, but I honestly think that if you ditch the glasses, shave the beard, and get a better haircut you will have more success! Thankfully those are all things you can change but I think it will help you shave the "loveable teddy bear" image. Try a look that's a little more edgy, it can make a huge difference. I really don't like beards, I think they make guys look like a chia pet lol I'm just being honest... and most of my friends don't like them either. It adds like 10 years

thats your opinion, and you have every right to have it. just be aware that not all women are the same and that some night very well be attracted to the "loveable teddy bear" look, as you put it. TinTin, this is not a come-on in any way, but I personally don't think you need to change a thing. You have a honest, kind, and yes, handsome appearance. That is my opinion and my point is that I'm confident that someday you may meet a lady who finds you handsome just the way you are