Does having sex make you married?

[Donkeyfish07]

Would that be a six million dollar marriage?

You know, the sad thing is.....I don't think many people are going to be able to recognize the reference . That's old school

 

[blueorchidjd]

Five guys has good sweet potato fries.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Five guys has good sweet potato fries.

I did not know that. Thank you!

 

[FireWire]

FireWire, good to see you brother. You should stop by more often

Thanks

I've been around but saw something to reply to and I was thinking about the same thing the other day.

 

[Markum1972]

Aye indeed on the last part. This story is a good story for a variety of topics really.

I guess since we got some full chapter gospel goodness for Resurrection Week yesterday keep that up and get another in today. Wedding in Cana is relevant to the topic and good indeed on many topics even past this. Pertaining to this topic, we've gone over sex all ready quite a bit, maybe let's examine here an ideal wedding with Jesus in attendance.

John 2

1 And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there:
[SUP]2 [/SUP]And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.
[SUP]3 [/SUP]And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine.
[SUP]4 [/SUP]Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.
[SUP]5 [/SUP]His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.
[SUP]6 [/SUP]And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins apiece.
[SUP]7 [/SUP]Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim.
[SUP]8 [/SUP]And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare it.
[SUP]9 [/SUP]When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew the governor of the feast called the bridegroom,
[SUP]10 [/SUP]And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now.
[SUP]11 [/SUP]This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him.
[SUP]12 [/SUP]After this he went down to Capernaum, he, and his mother, and his brethren, and his disciples: and they continued there not many days.
[SUP]13 [/SUP]And the Jews' passover was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.
[SUP]14 [/SUP]And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting:
[SUP]15 [/SUP]And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables;
[SUP]16 [/SUP]And said unto them that sold doves, Take these things hence; make not my Father's house an house of merchandise.
[SUP]17 [/SUP]And his disciples remembered that it was written, The zeal of thine house hath eaten me up.
[SUP]18 [/SUP]Then answered the Jews and said unto him, What sign shewest thou unto us, seeing that thou doest these things?
[SUP]19 [/SUP]Jesus answered and said unto them, Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.
[SUP]20 [/SUP]Then said the Jews, Forty and six years was this temple in building, and wilt thou rear it up in three days?
[SUP]21 [/SUP]But he spake of the temple of his body.
[SUP]22 [/SUP]When therefore he was risen from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this unto them; and they believed the scripture, and the word which Jesus had said.
[SUP]23 [/SUP]Now when he was in Jerusalem at the passover, in the feast day, many believed in his name, when they saw the miracles which he did.
[SUP]24 [/SUP]But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men,
[SUP]25 [/SUP]And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man.


EDIT: also that smiley face in the middle is not intentional but it looks so appropriate so not sure if i should edit it out.

I was about to say that I never realized there was a smiley in verse 9 and that I am going to have to go back and read that in my bible again. LOL

 

[Markum1972]

i think we all agree that the best, the only completely right thing to do is in regard to sex is to wait until marriage, which is what it was created for. i hope we can also agree that sex outside the boundary of marriage is sin. period.

the major problem i have with your hypothetical scenarios is that you are speculating on how to correct or negotiate the improvement of a sinful act. in my mind, sin simply cannot be retrieved or traded up. i don't know that it's possible to minimize sinful acts.

we can only seek forgiveness and avoid sin in the future, including the future that exists in such a relationship. an inappropriate pairing seems to beg all kinds of new questions that speak to the matters of "fleeing sin" and departing from situations that are less than ideal, also.

in this case, to me sin is like a broken dish. you can try to put the plate back together, but it's never going to completely look like what it should.

i also think that God's promise to forgive our sins completely, wholly and entirely is a difficult concept to understand. in some ways, the great effort to "fix" the situation makes me wonder why is that necessary if we are truly forgiven and there is genuine repentance. this seems especially true to me when the premarital sex exists between two people who are rather inappropriate for marriage together.

forgiveness is not casual "oops". it's deep, contrite and heartfelt confession. and it's sincere repentance. but we are told that sin disappears as if it never existed.

that's not to say i don't believe intentions count. i think they absolutely do. but i think the messiness of all the options and less than ideal situations provide further evidence that there is no real way to fix sin.

i can see a situation where a couple planning to marry, or a couple who already meets the compatibility requirements for a marriage (equally yoked) and possibly considering it could make a strong case to plan to marry down the road.

but the premarital sex must be confessed and repented, and they should remain on a path of spiritual purity until they're married.

in almost any other case, you are wanting to use the sex act alone as the "glue" or impetus for remaining in the relationship. essentially, this spiritual act is supposed to trump the other valid reasons for this couple to not stay together -- and i don't think a sinful act of sex was designed for that purpose. God just doesn't give us the opportunity to negotiate the consequence, fallout or corrective action sin requires. i'm not saying the SHOULD break up, but i don't think it's sufficient to make a marriage of their sinful actions.

the last thought on this. does anyone else see this passage as more than one conscious step?

Matthew 10
5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother- step 1 (verse 7a)
and cleave to his wife - step 2 (verse 7b)
8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. - step 3 (verses 8 & 9)
9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

to me it's further evidence of the importance of intention ALONG with the physical/spiritual act that creates a true bionically-defined marriage union.

i resisted the urge to reply to this much earlier so that i could further consider this. and i do appreciate your points, and see where you're coming from, however.

Very awesome. I like that you pointed this out. I really like the way you broke that down into steps. I would even go as far as making verse 9 step 4. Only because people have less problem with verse 8 then they do verse 9. We need to be very conscious about step 4 living in a world that glamorizes affairs everywhere you look; movies, television, advertisements, etc...

I hadn't personally yet gotten to correcting a sinful act. That was kind of what I was working towards though. My advice for anyone living with someone would to be "make that commitment" to do step 4. You can correct it by changing what you are doing and doing what is pleasing to God (repent). As Jesus said to the adulteress, "Your sins are forgiven. Now go and sin no more." Like Duchess Aimee pointed out, let there also be witnesses as this gives accountability. Does that sound about right?

 

[secularhermit]

I think it is the decision to abide, to belong, to join and be, as one. I could use the Bible to "back it", but the best source I have is my personal experience and that is my personal witness, the one I´d give an account.

As some (redtent) said: "We reap what we sow."

 

[Deva_1972]

This question reminds me of something that happened years ago. I have a friend who, when married to her first husband, said that she and he had sex before they were married and, in the course of that guilt, she said she told him, 'oh well we HAVE to get married now" and I thought that was a weird thing to say and I never quite fully understood it and figured she was just talking off the top of her head. But in thinking about it, I wonder if this is what she was referring to...and no, you should not have to feel like once you have sex, you have to get married...I don't really understand the mentality of that???