Don't even want to be married
- Thread starter thecreationtutor
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M
I don't know what troubles you're facing that are causing you to feel like this, but this post makes me a bit sad. For you, and for anyone else who feels that marriage would just be another burden added to an already heavy load.
There's nothing at all wrong with not wanting to get married- I'll just be clear on that from the start. Marriage isn't for everyone. But it seems a little...extremely...bitter, I guess, to look at marriage the way you are.
A marriage should be a blessing in life. It isn't meant to make people's lives more difficult or to add to their struggles. In fact, when you're married, you have a helper, a companion, someone to carry you through when you aren't sure you can do it by yourself (I know, I know, that's what we have Jesus for...). When both people within a marriage are focused on the Lord, then there isn't any worry that you'll start idolizing your spouse, instead of worshiping God. You worship Him together.
Marriage can be such a beautiful thing, if both parties are committed first to the Lord, and secondly to each other. I know that so often we see bad marriages and divorce happening every which way we look, but it doesn't have to be like that.
Whatever it is that is dragging you down right now, I pray that you can find relief and healing.
There's nothing at all wrong with not wanting to get married- I'll just be clear on that from the start. Marriage isn't for everyone. But it seems a little...extremely...bitter, I guess, to look at marriage the way you are.
A marriage should be a blessing in life. It isn't meant to make people's lives more difficult or to add to their struggles. In fact, when you're married, you have a helper, a companion, someone to carry you through when you aren't sure you can do it by yourself (I know, I know, that's what we have Jesus for...). When both people within a marriage are focused on the Lord, then there isn't any worry that you'll start idolizing your spouse, instead of worshiping God. You worship Him together.
Marriage can be such a beautiful thing, if both parties are committed first to the Lord, and secondly to each other. I know that so often we see bad marriages and divorce happening every which way we look, but it doesn't have to be like that.
Whatever it is that is dragging you down right now, I pray that you can find relief and healing.
I
If life is like what single? Being married is a blessing 100% as is being single a blessing 100%. It's all in our attitude while we are within each that determines to what extent we will allow God to bless us. If you honestly believe that if you were married that you would make that relationship with your spouse an idol then Praise God you realize this about yourself now before you commit yourself to marriage. Now ask God to show you how NOT to walk in that mindset. Is marriage a desire you have & if so,submit it to the Lord and submit yourself. Marriage is a serious commitment & not to be entered into lightly,but it's awesome one of the most awesome things God has designed for man & woman to share in. Embrace your singleness for now,enjoy it...but don't harden your heart & mind to marriage just because it might take some hard work & sacrifice. God Bless!
R
Being married is a huge commitment to being one. Just all the baggage gets in the way of things. people will hold on to there baggage, and sadly there is no compromise. if no compromise, no commitment to being one. So marriage will be a failure. But that's were Jesus come is, If Jesus is the center of your marriage. I think Marriage will be a little more easier.
Of course there are those, ( like myself, are happy to be Alone and Single ) this I choose to be, Not because I don't want to compromise, not because I don't want the hassle of carrying the baggage of the person. and not that I have anything against females, and Not that I am Gay, Because I'm not. But I choose to be alone, as I love it being single, love it being without a wife, I love it on my own.
Many people see this a problem, I don't. But What I see from the outside of my friends, and people's marriages, is that many, don't have Jesus in the center of there lives. or there marriages. This is not a judgement, just an observation from an outsider or marriage.
Of course there are those, ( like myself, are happy to be Alone and Single ) this I choose to be, Not because I don't want to compromise, not because I don't want the hassle of carrying the baggage of the person. and not that I have anything against females, and Not that I am Gay, Because I'm not. But I choose to be alone, as I love it being single, love it being without a wife, I love it on my own.
Many people see this a problem, I don't. But What I see from the outside of my friends, and people's marriages, is that many, don't have Jesus in the center of there lives. or there marriages. This is not a judgement, just an observation from an outsider or marriage.
S
I'm not sure what you mean, but I'm guessing that you are referring to the drama of dating? Perhaps the drama that is related to relationships in general? Am I correct?
If so then I agree. There is a lot of work that goes into it. I have been married and divorced. I have two extremely handsome young men from my marriage so I must count my marriage as a blessing. I have been single for quite some time now since the divorce and most of the time I have had the same mindset that you do, why even bother seeking marriage again? My marriage ended very painful, very bitter, and I have spent years trying to build up my trust. I still don't have too much (I freely admit it though). Most people think that relationships are like Rubbermaind bowls - disposable, so why bother?
On the other hand, I know that God intended for man to have woman as his partner. He did not create us to live alone. It just was not his original plan. That's probably why, even through all of my pain and crazy-off-the-wall thoughts about the opposite sex, I still have a longing to be married again one day.
Now there are many men and women with whom do have the ability to live out their lives never married and they never long to be married or to date. This is not uncommon. I am not one of them, and honestly? It doesn't sound like you are either my friend. If you were alright with being alone, you would not be allowing this circumstance to hinder you.
You do not sound like a man who wishes to be alone. It sounds to me as if you are going through a few thorns in order to find your rose. These thorns will prick your fingers along your journey, but they are shaping your hands to be gentler in order to handle the rose when you receive it.
If so then I agree. There is a lot of work that goes into it. I have been married and divorced. I have two extremely handsome young men from my marriage so I must count my marriage as a blessing. I have been single for quite some time now since the divorce and most of the time I have had the same mindset that you do, why even bother seeking marriage again? My marriage ended very painful, very bitter, and I have spent years trying to build up my trust. I still don't have too much (I freely admit it though). Most people think that relationships are like Rubbermaind bowls - disposable, so why bother?
On the other hand, I know that God intended for man to have woman as his partner. He did not create us to live alone. It just was not his original plan. That's probably why, even through all of my pain and crazy-off-the-wall thoughts about the opposite sex, I still have a longing to be married again one day.
Now there are many men and women with whom do have the ability to live out their lives never married and they never long to be married or to date. This is not uncommon. I am not one of them, and honestly? It doesn't sound like you are either my friend. If you were alright with being alone, you would not be allowing this circumstance to hinder you.
You do not sound like a man who wishes to be alone. It sounds to me as if you are going through a few thorns in order to find your rose. These thorns will prick your fingers along your journey, but they are shaping your hands to be gentler in order to handle the rose when you receive it.
i shouldn't think getting married adds as many burdens as it relieves.
different burdens, but not more.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
different burdens, but not more.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
T
I am a married woman and feel so confused at times. When I was just single and dating, life was so easy simply and carefree. I love my husband but marriage can be such a headache at times. It seems like he just love to disagree with me on everything. If I say the sky is blue, he says it is red. If he would just listen to me and stop disagreeing with me so many times our marriage would be great.
In this day and age, marriage is tough. Enjoy your single life and do not rush into marriage until you are 100 percent ready. I don't have children as yet and I am happy I waited and not rush to have children.
T
Marriage gets challenging when your spouse wants to tell you what to do and treat you like his child. My husband told me to not come on this forum again, I told him not to hold his breath. When a man marries his wife, neither of the two should control the other.
Another thing, in a marriage why do men feel it is okay to force his last name upon his wife? I had my own name prior to marriage and did not want to give that part of my identity away. Why can't the wife keep her last name? It is not good to expect a woman to loose her sense of identity. This is not a easy thing to do. Let the man change his last name.
Too much is expected of women in a marriage. She is the wife, the mother, the house-keeper, the doctor and the person who has to know where her husband's misplaced items are. --------I am just venting.........
Being married is great. Being single is great. I think it all is a matter of being happy with where God has you right now. I love being single. I truly do. I can't comprehend why so many singles want to be married so badly. But then, that is why I believe that in the Bible it says that if you can stay single, do so, and if you cannot, then marry. I can stay single...and so I do...and so I shall.
I think it all is a matter of being happy with where God has you right now. I love being single. I truly do. I can't comprehend why so many singles want to be married so badly. But then, that is why I believe that in the Bible it says that if you can stay single, do so, and if you cannot, then marry. I can stay single...and so I do...and so I shall.
