eHarmony

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faith79

Guest
#61
your grammer is astounding! did you know that???
:) This is very entertaining. (I am a language instructor and so found this last one esp. funny- thank you Sam!)
I'm sorry for everyone's troubles in this thread ... truly. But isn't it good to step back and have a sense of humor about it - when that becomes possible - with time and with trusting God.
Let me add my own little anecdote. It began with the Internet. not through a dating site :) but through an au-pair or nanny match site with the "right" family. I found a good family, moved to rural northern Austria when I was 19 (and they don't say y'all or 'eh there, it's more like "guh?" which is very weird until finally you just give up and call it normal and start talking like that yourself and just thank your lucky stars no one from home is around to hear you -- Austria's German speaking by the way)
Anyway, the place where I lived, which was on a farm near several small villages not far from the Czech border, was beautiful country but where apparently no American besides myself had ever set foot before. People would stare at me, point, and whisper - you'd think I'd been wearing a headdress or something (Most people were also Catholic there and wanted to stick a label on me they could understand ... and evangelical Christianity evidently did not fit into their system - which doubtless gave them more to talk about)
Anyway, I began dating an Austrian -who was very kind and did not stare at me or point.. haha. But then the talk in the villages really did get started - in such a rural area probably like wildfire. Everywhere we went, people would stare and talk about us behind our backs. The guy was a dancing instructor so we went to a lot of pubs and discos with his team, and were seen a lot in public, so there was no way to get away from the scrutiny.
Anyway....the good part, about the dating, and what's relevant to this thread, was that the dating began face to face and ended face to face! (The man wasn't a believer and was Catholic on Sundays.)
So I agree that face to face is the nicest if at all possible, and hey, that's how it's been for centuries- and for free too, eh? ;-)
 
Jun 7, 2009
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#63
Ok this is my experince with these dating sites;

The hottest people in the entire world could not meet their soul mate off any of these sites. When it comes to these sites, it's all about what you look like and what you have. They could give a crap how you are on the insides and what you like to do. YOU are an asset to the viewer, nothing more than a "new hat". Whatever...

It's like these sites are playing God. You would have never meet these people anyway. How do I know what and who I am supposed to be with.

I have no confidence in these kind of sites at all.
 
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Ancilla

Guest
#64
all americans dont say ya'll
I know. It's a southern thing. It's just like how all Canadians don't say "eh." Of course, for us it's not a geography thing. I find natives say "eh" more than white people and immigrants don't say it at all. I'm not conscious of saying it, but when I was in Illinois I was told that I said it and people found it really funny.

I just couldn't think of something that all Americans said. Yankees don't really seem to have a saying. I know that people from Minnesota have that... that thing they do. I don't know how to describe it. People from Minnesota and that part of the USA kind of talk like us. Kind of like in that movie Fargo.
 

RoboOp

Administrator
Staff member
Aug 4, 2008
1,419
667
113
#65
Well, I can't blame him for wanting to distance himself with Focus on the Family. I find they frequently send a mixed message. For example, I once heard Dobson boasting on the radio that he was raised in a very "conservative" home. I will boast about being raised in a Christian home because we are Christians first and whatever else second. See, I'm sure that Dobson would say that he's a Christian first and conservative second, but when there are many non-Christians who think of conservative families as those who go to church everyday because it's the traditional thing to do. So, when he talks like that it can sound to people my age that his religion is a product of his cultural upbringing rather than knowing a living God.

Secondly, he (like many Christians including myself) believe that homosexuality is a sin, but he (according to American Chronicle http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/view/23095 ) has said some stuff about homosexuality that's not in the Bible, nor is there evidence to support it. He also supports the corporal punishment of children despite the overwhelming evidence that it is bad for children in the long run. So if one is a psychologist, I could see why one wouldn't want to be associated with another psychologist like that. BUT, I doubt that bothers Warren because there isn't evidence that people who meet on eHarmony are more compatible, but he still pushes it.

Third, Focus on the Family can send mixed messages. For example, it's speculated that Dobson has supported Newt Gingrich, who has been twice divorced. He divorced his first wife while she had cancer and left his second wife for his current wife. My parents have been married since 1972 and they've seen a lot of friends divorce. Not one of them divorced because of the legalization of same-sex marriage. All but one of those divorces were due to the husband leaving the wife for another woman. See, my parents each have two degrees, and most of their long-term friends have university degrees. The university graduates of their generation have generally done well financially, and there's a lot of beautiful young women out there who'd love to marry a rich, middle aged man, even if he's already married. Furthermore, nearly all of my mom's friends who have been left by their husbands have struggled financially. My mom really wonders if their daughters are ever going to sacrifice their careers to raise for their husbands after they've seen where it's put their mothers. Maybe they'll forgo marriage altogether. I don't know about Gingrich's daughter's but I'd be surprised if they'd support a husband through grad school after they saw what happened to their mother. If Dobson was truly pro-family in ever sense, he'd be Gingrich's biggest critic. Furthermore, with fiances being the number one reason why couples get divorced and paying medical bills being the number one reason why Americans declare bankruptcy, Dobson supporting candidates who oppose universal health insurance just baffles me. So, basically, if Warren's trying to send a pro-marriage message, I could understand how being associated with Dobson could be counter-productive.

HOWEVER, what I don't like is the idea of him wanting the support of Focus on the Family and then going back on that. eHarmony should have taken a stance and stayed with it. I mean, it's like World Vision. They're a Christian organization and they gladly accept donations and sponsorship from non-Christians. However, from what I heard they're pretty good at not compromising in an effort to get more money. Like, if an atheist said "I'll sponsor a child through you on the condition that you don't tell them about Jesus" they probably couldn't agree to that. I don't know. But even if they did, World Vision is a non-profit aid organization that reaches children in need. eHarmony is a for profit business that isn't meeting a need in the same sense. They don't NEED to expand their busyness. I mean, I've heard that homosexuals have complained that eHarmony only matches men and women, and maybe they should have been more upfront about that, as in they could have found that out before they took the test. But there are plenty of sites that set up homosexuals, so I don't see why they feel the need for eHarmony. Really, if Warren hadn't studied same-sex relationships when he did his compatibility research (and I assume he hadn't) then he's not really qualified to match gay couples and therefore it's wrong for him as a psychologist, as well as a Christian, to have a gay site.
Don't worry Ancilla I'm not a fan of Focus on the Family :)

And much less a fan of Neil Warran / Eharmony :)
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#66
I didn't mean you are like that, Missy. I am sure that you would NEVER do anything like that to someone.
awww I know ya didn't mean me bud ;)......
 
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SamIam

Guest
#67
I have a rather sad story of my own to tell from eharmony! I was matched with a person from my own city so i was like sweet, So we started talking, got along wonderfully.. we were just alike! over the course of a year we were totally crazy about each other and planned on getting married, i had never met anyone so awesome, so perfect for me.. .... This person was from another country originally, So When that person said... im gonna go home for a visit and when i come back we'll get married... i said great....................... never came back..... havent heard from um since, ....... Its been awhile since this has happend, and i dont think this is something i will ever completely get over. You never know about people about who they really are....
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#68
gahhhhh that's awful Sam :(
 
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SamIam

Guest
#69
Yeah.... it does stink for real. I always wonder about it you know
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#70
I'm never gonna try a dating service.....
 
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SamIam

Guest
#71
yeah i would totally never recommend it! Ive heard some weird storys about eharmony especially
 
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SamIam

Guest
#72
ive heard bad stuff about match.com to dating sights are EVIL
 
Jan 9, 2009
819
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#73
I have a friend who met someone on a dating site once. When he went to meet her after a while of chatting online, he got attacked and robbed in the parking lot of McDonalds. Something else to think about for those who decide to use them.
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#74
yikesssssssssssssssssssssss
 
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SamIam

Guest
#75
that is really scary whiteknite.....
 
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SamIam

Guest
#76
hey emerson... the girl you were talkin bout............ was she from eharmony??
 
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Ancilla

Guest
#77
I have a friend who met someone on a dating site once. When he went to meet her after a while of chatting online, he got attacked and robbed in the parking lot of McDonalds. Something else to think about for those who decide to use them.
Although you'd think that the cops could just go the dating site and get her credit card information (and therefore her tracking information) from them. Although there is a strong perception that internet dating is dangerous, I think that is overrated. I've found on the news that when someone is victimized by someone they met on-line the news makes a special point of mentioning that they met them on-line. I mean, meeting people in person has it's own dangers. I had a friend from college who'd meet gusy in bars and go home with them. That is very, very dangerous. Before I tried on-line dating for the first time I Googled "on-line dating safety" or something just to see what kind of advice is out there. It's a lot of common sense stuff. Maybe one way of detecting a scammer (and I've never actually done this, I just thought this up now) is to ask them what church they go to and then ask them some stuff about it that only a regular would know that would be hard to make up on the stop, and then check it with the church's website. Like if you asked them what ministries they were involved in, they could make something up but it would be easy to check that out. I mean you wouldn't need to sound like you were giving them the third degree, you could make it sound like you wanted to check it out sometime and so you want to know what the service is like and when it starts and how people dress and where you can park (at my parent's church the parking lot is so small it's reserved for new comers and special needs. Everyone else has to park on the street.) But yeah, I think maybe if more people get victimized on on-line dating is because scammers can really pin point their victims AND people will often get really personal on-line before they meet in person so they really feel like they know the person and therefore are more quicker to trust them than someone they meet in person. I've said it many times and I'll say it again. You do not know someone until you know them in person.
 
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Ancilla

Guest
#78
Gather 'round and I'll tell you: Well, she came to the airport with her family. For some reason they were all glaring at me, and my lady-friend wasn't speaking to me. I went through the whole first day like this and was thinking, "Gee, I hope she's alright... I wonder what's wrong..." The next day, we ate breakfast, and then she went straight to her room... her family continued to glare at me for the rest of the day. When she came down in the evening, I asked her if she was alright... she asked me if I'd like to see a movie, and I agreed. As soon as we got in the car, she informed me that she was no longer attracted to me. Ouch. I had to sleep at their house and stay with them for 6 days... or at least it was supposed to be 6 days... but then there was a freak snowstorm and my flight was delayed by 24 hours... lol, much fun indeed. After the original 24 hour delay, there was a further 5 hour delay (which wound up being a major blessing, but that's another story...)
You know what happened to Isaac Watts (the guy who wrote Joy to the World and many other famous hymns)? I heard he corresponded with a woman for awhile (I don't know how they got each other's addresses) and when he met her she found out he wasn't as beautiful as his words. I don't think he ever married.
 
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Ancilla

Guest
#79
You know what happened to Isaac Watts (the guy who wrote Joy to the World and many other famous hymns)? I heard he corresponded with a woman for awhile (I don't know how they got each other's addresses) and when he met her she found out he wasn't as beautiful as his words. I don't think he ever married.



He doesn't look all that ugly to me. He sounds like a really neat guy. I would have LOVED to have met him!!!!!
 
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Ancilla

Guest
#80
This is what I mean by beautiful words. This is one of my favourite hymns by him. And as a Canadian, I really like the last line.

Jesus shall reign where’er the sun
Does his successive journeys run;
His kingdom stretch from shore to shore,
Till moons shall wax and wane no more.
Behold the islands with their kings,
And Europe her best tribute brings;
From north to south the princes meet,
To pay their homage at His feet.
There Persia, glorious to behold,
There India shines in eastern gold;
And barb’rous nations at His word
Submit, and bow, and own their Lord.
To Him shall endless prayer be made,
And praises throng to crown His head;
His Name like sweet perfume shall rise
With every morning sacrifice.
People and realms of every tongue
Dwell on His love with sweetest song;
And infant voices shall proclaim
Their early blessings on His Name.
Blessings abound wherever He reigns;
The prisoner leaps to lose his chains;
The weary find eternal rest,
And all the sons of want are blessed.
Where He displays His healing power,
Death and the curse are known no more:
In Him the tribes of Adam boast
More blessings than their father lost.
Let every creature rise and bring
Peculiar honors to our King;
Angels descend with songs again,
And earth repeat the loud amen!
Great God, whose universal sway
The known and unknown worlds obey,
Now give the kingdom to Thy Son,
Extend His power, exalt His throne.
The scepter well becomes His hands;
All Heav’n submits to His commands;
His justice shall avenge the poor,
And pride and rage prevail no more.
With power He vindicates the just,
And treads th’oppressor in the dust:
His worship and His fear shall last
Till hours, and years, and time be past.
As rain on meadows newly mown,
So shall He send his influence down:
His grace on fainting souls distills,
Like heav’nly dew on thirsty hills.
The heathen lands, that lie beneath
The shades of overspreading death,
Revive at His first dawning light;
And deserts blossom at the sight.
The saints shall flourish in His days,
Dressed in the robes of joy and praise;
Peace, like a river, from His throne
Shall flow to nations yet unknown.