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R
^Lovesong I appreciate your sacrifice xD. I'm not sure if I caught that cupcake you threw at me though lol.
I just wanna thank the ladies who were kind and loving in sending me the friend requests! I look forward to getting to know you guys. I prolly won't send a long email as I am finding that it kills conversations so hopefully I will catch you guys in the chat room sometimes and we can talk and get to know each other. I am excited to finally start making done CC girl friends!
I just wanna thank the ladies who were kind and loving in sending me the friend requests! I look forward to getting to know you guys. I prolly won't send a long email as I am finding that it kills conversations so hopefully I will catch you guys in the chat room sometimes and we can talk and get to know each other. I am excited to finally start making done CC girl friends!
I have wonderful relationships with women. Most of the women in my circle of friends and close family members are older than me. More often than not, they are old enough to be my mother, big sister or aunt, so there's normally quite an age difference. In my experience, older women are usually more mature than the women my age. However, a few people say that I'm old soul. LOL. I enjoy my friendships with older women because they seem to be pass that competition for men stage that some of you mentioned. They also seem to know what's important in life, and they are more likely to have their priorities straight. They are usually full of wisdom that has developed over time and through experience. That's probably why the Bible says that the older women should teach and mentor the younger ones. Titus 2:4
However, I would like to interject another thought because not everything is about gender. I don't deny that there are notable differences with the way in which men interact with men and women interact with women. However, I believe that's only a small part of a much larger issue.
In today's society, friend is a very over used and often misappropriated word. We use the word friend to address and categorize people we hardly know. Hence the term - Facebook friends. So many people (male and female) don't genuinely know or understand what it means to be or have a real friend. Being a friend and recognizing friendship is something that we have to learn to do over time. More often than not, it doesn't happen naturally because humans tend to be so self-centered. Many times, we don't even recognize or understand what a friend we have in Jesus. When we accept Christ, we spend a lifetime discovering what a friend we have in Him. As we begin to cultivate our friendship with Christ and discover what a friend we have in Him, that will flow into our human relationships, and it will be easier for us to make friends and be friends.
Many husbands and wives fail to cultivate a friendship with one another. That might seem trivial, but marriage should be rooted and grounded in friendship, in addition to other things. Friendship is an anchor that can help sustain a marriage when it's mutually cultivated and valued.
I said all that to say, this sort of inability for women to make and sustain friendships with other women isn't gender specific. Men often have trouble making and sustaining friendships too. It happens in platonic male/female friendships, and it happens in marriage. It's less about gender, and more about the fact that humans can be extremely self-centered. As a result, we don't make and sustain friendships easily because to do so would require something from us - sacrifice, work and intentionality, and it's some much easier to simply walk away.
However, I would like to interject another thought because not everything is about gender. I don't deny that there are notable differences with the way in which men interact with men and women interact with women. However, I believe that's only a small part of a much larger issue.
In today's society, friend is a very over used and often misappropriated word. We use the word friend to address and categorize people we hardly know. Hence the term - Facebook friends. So many people (male and female) don't genuinely know or understand what it means to be or have a real friend. Being a friend and recognizing friendship is something that we have to learn to do over time. More often than not, it doesn't happen naturally because humans tend to be so self-centered. Many times, we don't even recognize or understand what a friend we have in Jesus. When we accept Christ, we spend a lifetime discovering what a friend we have in Him. As we begin to cultivate our friendship with Christ and discover what a friend we have in Him, that will flow into our human relationships, and it will be easier for us to make friends and be friends.
Many husbands and wives fail to cultivate a friendship with one another. That might seem trivial, but marriage should be rooted and grounded in friendship, in addition to other things. Friendship is an anchor that can help sustain a marriage when it's mutually cultivated and valued.
I said all that to say, this sort of inability for women to make and sustain friendships with other women isn't gender specific. Men often have trouble making and sustaining friendships too. It happens in platonic male/female friendships, and it happens in marriage. It's less about gender, and more about the fact that humans can be extremely self-centered. As a result, we don't make and sustain friendships easily because to do so would require something from us - sacrifice, work and intentionality, and it's some much easier to simply walk away.
L
Well I hope that one day it can come to the point where you feel accepted, but I think there will always be odds.
Just as long as you don't feel ousted or just as long as you have good friends. I know how that feels too. I'm working on myself
though on being a more sociable person. I am grateful for the current friends I have and welcome more. I hope you feel accepted here.
*tosses MissCris a cupcake*
Just as long as you don't feel ousted or just as long as you have good friends. I know how that feels too. I'm working on myself
though on being a more sociable person. I am grateful for the current friends I have and welcome more. I hope you feel accepted here.
*tosses MissCris a cupcake*
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C
I've always had problems for getting friends.
When I was a teen, I was too introvert, and the people in my school (including my so called "friends") were mean to me because I was christian.
In the university, I became more outgoing and that helped me to fit into many groups and make many buddies, but only a handful of true friends that I could trust. None of them were christians, so that affected my relationship with the Lord.
I have 12 years attending the same church, but haven't got a single friend in all that time.
I have a cousin which I consider my best friend, but she has got away from the Lord and I don't feel comfortable talking to her now.
The only one I trust to talk very deep stuffs right now is this male friend I have, "R", but since there's a romantic interest involved and some people in my family know there's something going on, and we are praying so God tell us the right time to make public our relationship, I don't think is appropriate that I only talk to him.
I feel I need a christian mature female friend (that's why I created this profile in CC in the first place...) but I feel it's hard for me to "click" with other women cause I don't like things women usually do, like shopping, nails, makeup, hair, clothes and all that kind of girlish stuffs.
I mean, I do care about my appearance, and I stay rapt in the storefront of Forever 21, but I don't like talking about that all the time. I rather spend my time discussing about deeper stuff, or something I feel passionate about,like culture,languages, food, plants, architecture, God, personal finances, and lately anime, cosplay and geeky stuff.
Any other non girly-freaky girl who loves God and wants to befriend?
When I was a teen, I was too introvert, and the people in my school (including my so called "friends") were mean to me because I was christian.
In the university, I became more outgoing and that helped me to fit into many groups and make many buddies, but only a handful of true friends that I could trust. None of them were christians, so that affected my relationship with the Lord.
I have 12 years attending the same church, but haven't got a single friend in all that time.
I have a cousin which I consider my best friend, but she has got away from the Lord and I don't feel comfortable talking to her now.
The only one I trust to talk very deep stuffs right now is this male friend I have, "R", but since there's a romantic interest involved and some people in my family know there's something going on, and we are praying so God tell us the right time to make public our relationship, I don't think is appropriate that I only talk to him.
I feel I need a christian mature female friend (that's why I created this profile in CC in the first place...) but I feel it's hard for me to "click" with other women cause I don't like things women usually do, like shopping, nails, makeup, hair, clothes and all that kind of girlish stuffs.
I mean, I do care about my appearance, and I stay rapt in the storefront of Forever 21, but I don't like talking about that all the time. I rather spend my time discussing about deeper stuff, or something I feel passionate about,like culture,languages, food, plants, architecture, God, personal finances, and lately anime, cosplay and geeky stuff.
Any other non girly-freaky girl who loves God and wants to befriend?
L
Lovesong, come here... *has cupcake hiding behind back* As she approaches... Bwauahahahaha! *Smashes cupcake into her face*
I hope you have a clean up plan for this mess that's about to break loose
I hope you have a clean up plan for this mess that's about to break loose
.cupcakes...my only weakness.. *dies* lol jk
*revives and disappears then reappears in the air dropping a house sized pie on Raine.* **splat**
Hwahaha~ vengeance is a dish best served apple pie flavored! XD
J
I can't really answer your question, but I can offer a perspective. I have always had that problem with other men, and sometimes women. I've actually had older women tell me they questioned trusting me because I appear too good to be true!
It translated to I was a nice guy, kind, compassionate and tough when I needed to be. But not on purpose, it's just how I am.
However as good as that sounds, it has been a disadvantage for me. Perhaps you have that issue too? I don't know you but I've met others that fall into that category in life. Can't say it hasn't caused me a great deal of confusion in my life, still does. But after 49 years you kinda get used to it! I'm hoping the Lord can help me with that one in time...Some men seem to see me as a threat around their women because they like me. We all have our insecurities...I just wish I was half as good at relationships with women in my life as some guys are afraid I may be...if that makes any kind of sense. None of it ever has to me really anyway.
It translated to I was a nice guy, kind, compassionate and tough when I needed to be. But not on purpose, it's just how I am.
However as good as that sounds, it has been a disadvantage for me. Perhaps you have that issue too? I don't know you but I've met others that fall into that category in life. Can't say it hasn't caused me a great deal of confusion in my life, still does. But after 49 years you kinda get used to it! I'm hoping the Lord can help me with that one in time...Some men seem to see me as a threat around their women because they like me. We all have our insecurities...I just wish I was half as good at relationships with women in my life as some guys are afraid I may be...if that makes any kind of sense. None of it ever has to me really anyway.