First Holiday Season Alone
- Thread starter Born_Again
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M
I hope you have some friends and family to kinda fill some of that space? I know the typical answer is to stay in prayer etc... and I agree, but would also add to just watch your thoughts and try to stay focused on positive things that you believe God would want and have in your life...If you can get passed some of the pain you feel...I say enjoy yourself..try to watch some good American football...don't watch soccer its of the devil 
If by alone you mean completely in solitude by yourself then I feel you. I've never been there myself (not in the holidays) but I know what it feels like to have no one and it sucks. Pray about it and reach out to us on here....we got you.
If by alone you mean single....then it depends on the situation:
If it's 12 years of being with the same person and you're no longer with them then I can comprehend the feeling of having a void in your life.
If it's 12 years of being in several different relationships then this too needs more context:
If it's a recent break-up then I can comprehend the feeling of void again. Usually relationships and all the affection you feel towards each other climaxes at the holidays and so I understand your pain.
But if it's been 12 years of being in several relationships and you've actually been single for a while then my advice is to chill. It's not that deep. Don't think about it. Focus on the people you're with. Focus on who's there rather than who isn't. It's all good fam. Don't put relationships on a pedestal. They're great, we all want them (I know I certainly do for sure) but they're not an essential. Don't feel like your life is lacking something just because you're single. You've been in relationships...cherish that fact because some of us (me) haven't.
Rest easy G. Occupy yourself. Do something you love. Focus more on God.
If by alone you mean single....then it depends on the situation:
If it's 12 years of being with the same person and you're no longer with them then I can comprehend the feeling of having a void in your life.
If it's 12 years of being in several different relationships then this too needs more context:
If it's a recent break-up then I can comprehend the feeling of void again. Usually relationships and all the affection you feel towards each other climaxes at the holidays and so I understand your pain.
But if it's been 12 years of being in several relationships and you've actually been single for a while then my advice is to chill. It's not that deep. Don't think about it. Focus on the people you're with. Focus on who's there rather than who isn't. It's all good fam. Don't put relationships on a pedestal. They're great, we all want them (I know I certainly do for sure) but they're not an essential. Don't feel like your life is lacking something just because you're single. You've been in relationships...cherish that fact because some of us (me) haven't.
Rest easy G. Occupy yourself. Do something you love. Focus more on God.
I feel you man. I've never been in your shoes but I can only try to comprehend what you're feeling. My advice (which is always easier said that done), consciously discipline yourself to occupy your mind. Watch TV shows, football games, movies, etc. Play a games console, talk to people, chill with friends, do something creative, do some writing, do some drawing or anything you're not bothered about being bad at but can do for fun. Before you know it, you will have subconsciously moved on and you will be used to not having her around. From time to time you will reminisce but you will be ready to move on for sure.
I hope that helps
I hope that helps
I am sorry to hear what you are going through. I agree with what Lord Chipotle (IBDesmond) said. I think you should go out a bit more and meet some new people.
Another thing that I would suggest is to try and enjoy your own company. Seriously, being single and alone can be a nice thing at times. This is the best time to grow spiritually and mentally. Take up a hobby. Learn a new sport. Go for a martial art training. Travel a lot. There are so many things that you can do only when you are single!
I do understand that there will be occasions when you would feel lonely and lost. That is where the lovely folks on CC can help you through prayer, humour and comfort. Cheer up brother. Here's a bro hug to make you feel better.
Another thing that I would suggest is to try and enjoy your own company. Seriously, being single and alone can be a nice thing at times. This is the best time to grow spiritually and mentally. Take up a hobby. Learn a new sport. Go for a martial art training. Travel a lot. There are so many things that you can do only when you are single!
I do understand that there will be occasions when you would feel lonely and lost. That is where the lovely folks on CC can help you through prayer, humour and comfort. Cheer up brother. Here's a bro hug to make you feel better.
I remember the first Christmas during my divorce as it finalized on January 16th 1979 many moons ago....Empty and terribly lonely is how I felt my ex kept trying to come around when he felt lonely and I got tired of it and made me feel used. I put a stop to it pronto. The first events are lonely ones after sharing them with someone and somehow I managed to get through 35 years without a real partner after a while it got easier and less lonely. I had my daughter who kept me company a baby at first and she grew up so I wasn't totally alone during the entire time, but not with a real partner.
A few dating sessions guys came and went mistakes were made and gotten rid of. Twenty of those 35 years really alone other than my daughter. She grew up and moved out so 5-6 years really alone - alone. But I had family and friends to do things with. I guess you just have to get yourself involved with church and make friends spend time with your family if they are around. I ended up keeping busy and living life as you can't give up on it you still have to participate. I was not in church a lot of that time. But if you are active in church you would be much better off.
Things get better with time and just tell God how you are feeling leave these hurts with Him and He will be with you through the really rough times. Rest in Him try not to make my mistakes learn to forgive your ex as the forgiveness will bring you peace of mind if nothing else. Pray and stay close to God I sure wish I had it would have saved me a lot of trouble.
A few dating sessions guys came and went mistakes were made and gotten rid of. Twenty of those 35 years really alone other than my daughter. She grew up and moved out so 5-6 years really alone - alone. But I had family and friends to do things with. I guess you just have to get yourself involved with church and make friends spend time with your family if they are around. I ended up keeping busy and living life as you can't give up on it you still have to participate. I was not in church a lot of that time. But if you are active in church you would be much better off.
Things get better with time and just tell God how you are feeling leave these hurts with Him and He will be with you through the really rough times. Rest in Him try not to make my mistakes learn to forgive your ex as the forgiveness will bring you peace of mind if nothing else. Pray and stay close to God I sure wish I had it would have saved me a lot of trouble.
J
I'm kinda like an old hairy mountain man. I don't enjoy my own company, but I put up with it.
I actually enjoy being alone, and it takes a long time for me to even feel a twinge of lonely. So I’m not the best person to help with this topic, however one thing I have found that helps me on my rare lonely moments is to keep my mind busy with tasks or projects.
I actually enjoy being alone, and it takes a long time for me to even feel a twinge of lonely. So I’m not the best person to help with this topic, however one thing I have found that helps me on my rare lonely moments is to keep my mind busy with tasks or projects.
S
Pray and surround yourself with loved ones. God blessed me tremendously in my time of loss with friends who were quick to wrap me up and keep me occupied through the holidays. They were also quite respectful and understanding. No one said a word when I dismissed myself from the table at Thanksgiving so I could go to my room and cry over my loss and my feeling of unthankfulness. They didn't chide me or tell me to cheer up; they didn't invalidate my feelings at all.
My family and friends gave me exactly what I needed: they mourned with me, prayed with me, and supported me. In some cases, I asked to join others. In other cases, they asked me to join them. I didn't spend a single day alone, from the week of Thansgiving to the weekend after New Year's. God provided in a big, big way.
I was praying a lot, and reading the Word a lot, as well. That might have been the only thing that kept me from losing my mind. I know that the most difficult thing is to try to not think about her and what she's doing without you, but instead, focus on God, and He is doing with you, and what He has planned for your future.
Blessings to you, brother. You are not alone in this, no matter how you feel, so long as you continue to fall on Him. You might not be able to feel it right now, but He's holding you tightly right now.
My family and friends gave me exactly what I needed: they mourned with me, prayed with me, and supported me. In some cases, I asked to join others. In other cases, they asked me to join them. I didn't spend a single day alone, from the week of Thansgiving to the weekend after New Year's. God provided in a big, big way.
I was praying a lot, and reading the Word a lot, as well. That might have been the only thing that kept me from losing my mind. I know that the most difficult thing is to try to not think about her and what she's doing without you, but instead, focus on God, and He is doing with you, and what He has planned for your future.
Blessings to you, brother. You are not alone in this, no matter how you feel, so long as you continue to fall on Him. You might not be able to feel it right now, but He's holding you tightly right now.