How to let a guy down easy

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allforchrist10

Guest
#1
#1
Ok there is this guy who is autistic and likes me is wanting me to be his gf but i dont really like him and its not bc of his austism bc my brother is autistic. but i dont want to hurt his feelings bc he;s a really great guy but like idk i'm going out with him tomorrow night to see but i'm worried that things wont work out.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#2
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#2
Look him in the eye and be honest.

"You and I will never be together. I will not be yours and you will not be mine."
 
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GuyforChrist85

Guest
#3
#3
Yeah, you need to be straightforward with him. A lot of guys cannot take a hint. Just "I just don't feel the chemistry" or "I don't see you in that way" are good. You don't want to say anything that would give him hope for a future with you, because in the back of his mind he'll still think he has a shot.
 
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Stuey

Senior Member
#4
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#4
You said he was autistic, I don't know if there is an easy way out of this one. If he is autistic he will probably miss hints so I think you will have to be extremely blunt. "Hey, I'm not sure (give him that out at least, that he can pretend he didn't like you) if you do like me or not, but I'm really not interested."
 
shawntc

shawntc

Senior Member
#5
May 7, 2010
729
11
0
#5
Stuey said:
If he is autistic he will probably miss hints so I think you will have to be extremely blunt. "Hey, I'm not sure (give him that out at least, that he can pretend he didn't like you) if you do like me or not, but I'm really not interested."
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This. Men with normally functioning social skills are notorious for missing hints. I know I am, anyway. Since this young man is autistic, it's even more important to be straightforward with him.
 
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Moe

Guest
#6
#6
allforchrist10 said:
Ok there is this guy who is autistic and likes me is wanting me to be his gf but i dont really like him and its not bc of his austism bc my brother is autistic. but i dont want to hurt his feelings bc he;s a really great guy but like idk i'm going out with him tomorrow night to see but i'm worried that things wont work out.
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Pray for guidance from the Lord and then he will give you the time, place and manner in which to end the relationship, always ask God for advice first. I will pray for you also. Cheers
 
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rauleetoe

Guest
#7
#7
I think you can be honest and straightforward and at the same time say it in a well mannered non hurtfull way. Say something along the lines of, I just am not feeling the same way for you that you do for me, sorry...or I do not have those same feelings for you, and i just want to be friends..nothing more.
Ugh dating..lol, I have an austistic nephew. I miss him lots..he's with his momma now but should come down to visit soon.
 
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Moe

Guest
#8
#8
Liamson said:
Look him in the eye and be honest.

"You and I will never be together. I will not be yours and you will not be mine."
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You come off a little strong about advising someone in this matter. How is your relationship going? Cheers
 
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allforchrist10

Guest
#9
#9
thanks guys i'm trying to be blunt with him my brother is autistic and i know how to deal with him but this guy wont take the hint. i'm not trying to be mean bc ik how he feels bc my bro was bullied in school so i dont want to be mean but i mean come on.
 
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SocialArtist

Guest
#10
#10
Let him down on MYSPACE.. that's what happened to me once in 2008 lolololololol
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#11
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#11
I would avoid pairing up with someone who has autism, autistic tendencies, or a genetic predisposition toward autism.

Unless of course you want a family full of autistic children. That's enough reason to say no.

My brother has autism as well. *flashes political correctness immunity badge.
 
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gcaro7l

Guest
#12
#12
i'm not sure of this, but i think the best way is to ignore him. If he's an autistic he'll probably lose control so just ignore him..
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#13
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#13
gcaro7l said:
i'm not sure of this, but i think the best way is to ignore him. If he's an autistic he'll probably lose control so just ignore him..
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I doubt he'd lose control.

You should just tell him how it is. He's a wonderful person you love spending time with, but you don't want to be his girlfriend.

Well, depending on his level of autism that is.

If he's more impared, I would ignore it, but I take it the guy you are referring to his higher-functioning than most.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#14
#14
gcaro7l said:
i'm not sure of this, but i think the best way is to ignore him. If he's an autistic he'll probably lose control so just ignore him..
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Ignore him? Seriously? Then make an unfounded assumption he'll lose control? Sorry, but that is some of the worst advice i've seen in a long time. Cold hearted, insensitive.. and then you throw in judgmental remarks too. *shakes head
*makes mental note about gcaro7
 
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