How to meet good people

[EdensPeace]

Hello everyone. so for the past 4 years of moving to a new city. I still have not made any friends or really met people. I was wondering what you people do to meet people who want to make friends and put in effort. I have been trying to put effort into "friendships" and meeting people. but what i find is other people dont put in any work into a relationship/friendships anymore. I am just getting tired of being the one who initiates everything. i have gone a week with out messaging my "Friends" and they never said hi or wondered how i was doing. Is it just me who feels this?

 

[Ugly]

I've never been great at making friends, so i have no advice there.
But it does seem people are less interested. While i won't demonize the internet, i think it is one of the factors to blame. People are often more interested in their online goings on than what's in front of them.
Also i think God has been so far removed that kids are raised being told 'all existence is an accident, you're nothing but an ape'. Why should people who believe in nothing, and told morality is subjective, care about other people? And as people stop caring it makes people act more hurtful. As people get hurt more they get more defensive and closed off. Going online is a place where they have more control, so they go there. Where it's safer.
Also people seem to be more self absorbed. Things like youtube and facebook giving people opportunities to gain some generic sense of fame for, really, doing nothing of any significance. 'Being famous for being famous' is a common goal anymore. And since being famous requires nothing, it's easy, and makes people feel more important and wanted. In exchange for real relationships. Which, as you pointed out, are harder and harder to obtain anyways.

 

[Enow]

Hello everyone. so for the past 4 years of moving to a new city. I still have not made any friends or really met people. I was wondering what you people do to meet people who want to make friends and put in effort. I have been trying to put effort into "friendships" and meeting people. but what i find is other people dont put in any work into a relationship/friendships anymore. I am just getting tired of being the one who initiates everything. i have gone a week with out messaging my "Friends" and they never said hi or wondered how i was doing. Is it just me who feels this?

Well, I am going through a different situation and so it does not apply to your inquiry, but you ever wonder if Jesus ever felt that way in His relationship with you? Course, He does not really expect anything from us other than to trust in Him for all things.

If we see the longsuffering Jesus has towards us and others in being our Friend, it does make one wonder if we should be leaning on Him to be that kind of friend to others in spite of what appears to be a lack of interests on their part?

They say that a true blue friend is hard to find. Fair weather friends comes and goes.

In this day and age, people are set in their routine and private circle or cliche to let any one else in.

I am sure you will find others in the same state at the church you attend in that city. Is there a fellowship group of your age bracket that you can attend? If so, is there a way to broaden that fellowship to a social outing like bowling or whatever?

It's great to have Jesus with us always so that whenever we need Him, He is there for us as our Best True Blue Friend there is.

Maybe that is all you can do and have control over; being available by God's hand when someone needs a friend?

But that means being a friend to someone that you would prefer it be somebody else. By doing that, you may just come across as a true blue friend to that preferred somebody else, but no matter what, you can only be that kind of friend.

So what if it takes your effort to initialize anything? At least they are responding. You can thank the Lord for that, right?

 

[toinena]

When I moved to a new city in Finland, I went to the local church and joined a Bible study/prayer group. It was great, and I made some really good friends. Moving to another city, I went to an Alpha course and made some great friends there, too.

Moving back to Norway, I tried doing the same, but only ended up with the pastor coming on house call, stating there are no good activities in the church I could take part in. No friends made. No connection to church made.

So you see, the strategy that worked brilliantly two places failed the third place. I think we just have to be open to meet and be friendly to people that crosses our path, and then friendships might develop. Be always prayerful about it. And if you still find it difficult, you have always CC... here you will find many good hearted, some very funny, others extremely serious and some socially awkward people that are really good friend material.

 

[Innerfire89]

I think it's just a matter of trust for most. When I start making friends I start distancing myself from them, I guess pass experience made me like that.

 

[shineyourlight]

Hello everyone. so for the past 4 years of moving to a new city. I still have not made any friends or really met people. I was wondering what you people do to meet people who want to make friends and put in effort. I have been trying to put effort into "friendships" and meeting people. but what iH find is other people dont put in any work into a relationship/friendships anymore. I am just getting tired of being the one who initiates everything. i have gone a week with out messaging my "Friends" and they never said hi or wondered how i was doing. Is it just me who feels this?

Have you heard of the website called meetup.com? It takes your interests and then shows you groups around your city of people who are doing those interests. It's a great way to meet people! I know my friend, he did that when he felt alone in the city that he moved to! It's worth a shot

 

[Sweetmorningdew78]

Me too,I feel the same just be you...be friendly and don't expect too much...reach out but set boundaries...

I really give time calling,texting and visiting my friends... but I know when to stop 1,2 and 3 I will stop bothering them.I am still their friend...that cares and pray for them from a distance and remember it has nothing to do with you... Some people are just socially awkward maybe because they are not around people that often or maybe because of their own worries,hurts and fears in the past...that's why they are afraid sometimes to get closer to someone...and they will automatically put a wall in between if they sense it


We can't control how they see things what we can control is how we act...continue being that one good friend...smile and greet

 

[Vangelina]

Well its hard for me too, to make friendship, in my 31yo i never have close friend. But i always open to have friend in real or internet...

 

[laughingheart]

I love your perspective and honest sharing. This is so true. Usually your church is a great bet for joining groups and meeting people but that doesn't always happen. I have found myself in that position and I had to pray hard and really look for likeminded people for friendship. Sometimes God brings along people I would never expected to meet and ended up with lifelong friends. It is definitely worth praying about and actively searching for.

When I moved to a new city in Finland, I went to the local church and joined a Bible study/prayer group. It was great, and I made some really good friends. Moving to another city, I went to an Alpha course and made some great friends there, too.

Moving back to Norway, I tried doing the same, but only ended up with the pastor coming on house call, stating there are no good activities in the church I could take part in. No friends made. No connection to church made.

So you see, the strategy that worked brilliantly two places failed the third place. I think we just have to be open to meet and be friendly to people that crosses our path, and then friendships might develop. Be always prayerful about it. And if you still find it difficult, you have always CC... here you will find many good hearted, some very funny, others extremely serious and some socially awkward people that are really good friend material.