How will i recognize him? <3

ijustwanttheTruth · Feb 11, 2012

ok. so in the past, i know i have definitely been guilty of 'husband hunting'. but God has assured me He has someone for me and that i am not to do that anymore. but i can't help but wonder... how will i recognize him? how will i know who to turn down when they ask for coffee and who to say yes to?
i'm scared i won't hear God clearly.
i don't want another nothing relationship. i only want the real thing.
Has anyone else had experiences where they thought God was doing something when He wasn't? and it left you jaded and a bit confused? and is anyone else afraid they won't hear God clearly when it counts?

i just wanna know who he is. so i don't have to think about it anymore

Stuey · Feb 11, 2012

God bless you.

Wycliffe_Erika · Feb 11, 2012

Keren,
First of all you need to be sure about what you want in this person, go to a quiet place and write a list of what you would consider that you would want to find in that special other. And remember it well, that will be your GPS to your special other, you won't be lost and looking for the wrong person, you will know which are the RIGHT PLACES to look for that person, and the RIGHT PLACES to meet people and start friendships.
But remember to keep these priorities:
-He must put God first.
-The spirituality level.
-The maturity level.
-He must have the same vision that you have. Example: If you love to sing and you are in the worship team, He must be there or want to serve in a similar ministry. If both are going in the same direction it will be easier to stick together and share the same things as a couple in marriage.
-He must love God above all.

I hope my answer has helped
God bless

CatWoman · Feb 11, 2012

I know with God all things are possable but I think its unrealistic to think the next guy you date is going to be the one you marrie. It seems like some people on this website think that. There a saying "you got to kiss a lot of frogs". It seems like some people dont want to date anybody unless they know they want to marrie that person. How are you going to know you want to marrie some one if your not in a relationship with them? I don't mean just friends I mean being a couple. Dating is a growing experiance, you learn how to interact with a partner. You find out who that person really is.

GreenNnice · Feb 11, 2012

Wycliffe_Erika said:

Keren,
First of all you need to be sure about what you want in this person, go to a quiet place and write a list of what you would consider that you would want to find in that special other. And remember it well, that will be your GPS to your special other, you won't be lost and looking for the wrong person, you will know which are the RIGHT PLACES to look for that person, and the RIGHT PLACES to meet people and start friendships.
But remember to keep these priorities:
-He must put God first.
-The spirituality level.
-The maturity level.
-He must have the same vision that you have. Example: If you love to sing and you are in the worship team, He must be there or want to serve in a similar ministry. If both are going in the same direction it will be easier to stick together and share the same things as a couple in marriage.
-He must love God above all.

I hope my answer has helped
God bless

----
Good answer for you, K. ^

GreenNnice · Feb 11, 2012

CatWoman said:

-----
I agree, and, yes, I read 'I kissed dating goodbye' joshua harris book. Good points in book but whether you want to calle it dating or not, you are dating, and, ita necessary to go thru that , like askinf girl to prom/ homecoming. We NEED that, to understand life better. The Lord leads.

Wycliffe_Erika · Feb 11, 2012

CatWoman said:

I disagree with that you don't necessarily need to date the person, you just need to be friends with the person for a long time. In my country we christians don't date. We have serious relationships and if we're not serious and if we want to know the person better we DONT DATE, WE HAVE FRIENDSHIPS and WE GET TO KNOW THE PERSON BETTER, in that way you are not commited in a sentimental way no one is heartbroken
So as my pastor said,
before you get married
have long friendships and really get to know the person
then if you love and want to marry someone, have a short serious relationship
and the married life FOR EVER

ijustwanttheTruth · Feb 11, 2012

Wycliffe_Erika said:

I disagree with that you don't necessarily need to date the person, you just need to be friends with the person for a long time. In my country we christians don't date. We have serious relationships and if we're not serious and if we want to know the person better we DONT DATE, WE HAVE FRIENDSHIPS and WE GET TO KNOW THE PERSON BETTER, in that way you are not commited in a sentimental way no one is heartbroken
So as my pastor said,
before you get married
have long friendships and really get to know the person
then if you love and want to marry someone, have a short serious relationship
and the married life FOR EVER

i completely agree with eri. i aint datin. i refuse.

niceguyJ · Feb 11, 2012

I'm not sure about the list thing.

I do agree that there should be some things in place, particularly God being first. I think everyone has at least a mental checklist. I'm just not sure how healthy it is to have a really long, detailed list. I used to have one. I still hold onto some things for sure.
However, sometimes I think:
"What if the right person for me is quite different than I would've thought. After all, God does know best." So I attempt to stay open to that.

Obviously, God being first is not negotiable. I think it's important to be able to serve together too. So if you're going in two completely different directions, that's an issue. It's important you want the same things and same kind of life too. Then for me, it would be hard to imagine being with someone who doesn't have the passion for music I do (to me, that relates back to some of the things above though). Beyond that though, I don't know.

I feel like I've learned a lot over the last 12 months or so through some various friendships with girls (I don't do the typical "dating" thing either), and some things I thought I would've wanted or needed in a partner before are a bit different now. Maybe that goes along with the whole God knowing best and me letting go of some stubborness thing.

I'm not sure there is ONE way that everyone will know. It would be interesting if a whole bunch of married people posted here how they knew. Then we could see similarities and differences.
Choosing to love and commit to someone for a lifetime is a huge deal. I know that much. I look at marriage as a one time thing.

Hopefully you can find something in my rambling that at least makes you think.

CatWoman · Feb 11, 2012

isn't "a short and serius relationship" like dating? Don't you become boyfriend and girlfriend at that point?

Liz01 · Feb 11, 2012

dating is not a serious relationship, in dating nobody knows if is or not a relationship most of the time because they just "go out" together, so there is not commitment there

GreenNnice · Feb 11, 2012

CatWoman said:

----
if you are in a relationship, short, long, inbetween short and long

, it is STILL 'dating.'

Sure, call it a friendship , but you are by virtue of getting to know someone , dating them. When you go and do something together, it is a date. You are doing something together on a certain date, therefore, you are dating, you can call ir a friendship but it is alzó organized going out. 'Steady,' or, 'going steady,' is a popular term.

I don't want to say that you can't just become friends and never 'date,' but, like I said before, I think that anxiety of going with someone on a date is necessary (necessary evil?) and makes us mature through that anxious time but only IF we let God be the lord of our date.

You will recognize your match, K, by Him, as you are ready to have him revealed to you. Until then, just tifus on God, run the race fully concentrated on God doing things in your life.

When you are ready, k. , you will know to remove the blinders, because you will retiré in style , like a horse that becomes a 'stud,' .

GreenNnice · Feb 12, 2012

Tifus = focus .
Stud = something other than 'retiré.'

There go my green brains runnng loose again, between 'them,' and Piddy Witkinstein it is hard for me to keep up

----
But, yes, I was using horseracing analogy and my point remains the same. As the Lord leads, you got to keep racing, sometímes a horse races 10-12 years, or, like me, not done yet after 20

,or if we were to put it in terms of a short story I read in college am. lit, you got to keep on going on a 'manhunt' until God shows you are finally done dating, or, friendshipping, as some of you want to call it. Just keep getting prussed up and get out there, again and again and again and....

Finally you , with praying without ceasing, IF you are with marriage in God's plan, get your man, miladies. Shoot 'em dead with love, like an arrow right through the heart you will do, yes, verily I say that unto YOU, I do believe that someday (His timing) your prince will arrive and, from God's word, too, do I know that twue .

The Lord leads.

ijustwanttheTruth · Feb 12, 2012

GreenNnice said:

thanks green

<3 <3 <3
that made me smile.

i don't have to be a stud right? like a stud in hot green jeans for instance?

p.s. i really wasn't interested in defining the term dating, nor do i care much to hear other's opinions on the matter. lol. i will not dive into a relationship unless i know he's the one God has set aside for me. i'm gettin married in the morrrrrning!!! ding dong the bells are gonna chime!!
all i was wond'rin'
is how will i spot him
and get me to the church on time!!!!!!

p.p.s @niceguy

thanks for that. ya know? you're absolutely right. asking godly married folk how they knew who their spouse was and when and if God showed them anything or did anything supernatural in their relationship would be the best place to start asking!!
i have known couples that God just completely supernaturally put them together. i just wanna know

and not stumble around in the dark playing guessing games like 'what if that one is the one and i turn him down'
or 'what if that one is a distraction and i go with it bc my feelings are deceptive'
i like to think i wouldn't repeat history and relearn lessons again and again. but i do wonder sometimes.

DEAR HEAVENLY FATHER! DO GET MY ATTENTION WHEN MY ATTENTION NEEDS GETTING! THANKS!!!! <3

seas · Feb 12, 2012

1)"Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.(Matt 10:32). He takes Jesus Christ seriously???????

2) Faith without deeds is useless (James 2:17). So is he a talker or a DOER???????

3)Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?(2 Corinthians 6:14) Believer or Unbeliever??????

4) Interests might differ,God Can make a donkey speak????? (Numbers 22:28-30)

HOSEA 1:2 When the LORD first began speaking to Israel through Hosea, he said to him, “GO AND MARRY A PROSTITUTE, so that some of her children will be conceived in prostitution. This will illustrate how Israel has acted like a prostitute by turning against the LORD and worshiping other gods.”

10 “Yet the time will come when Israel’s people will be like the sands of the seashore—too many to count! Then, at the place where they were told, ‘You are not my people,’ it will be said, ‘YOU ARE THE CHILDREN OF THE LIVING GOD.’ 11 Then the people of Judah and Israel will unite together. They will choose one leader for themselves, and they will return from exile together. What a day that will be—the day of Jezreel[d]—when God will again plant his people in his land.

IF HE IS FROM GOD, then you can see Romans 8:28 come to pass.( And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose)

GOD_IS_LOVE · Feb 12, 2012

ijustwanttheTruth said:

I think all is needed is to know who God is. Then we'll know all things, aren't we promised that? About the not thinking part, I don't think that's possible.

GOD_IS_LOVE · Feb 12, 2012

However, you'll know, don't worry. If God cares enough to get him to you, He'll also let you know. He'll give you that inner assurance that it is "of God" and everything will feel right.

Jullianna · Feb 12, 2012

You won't know him by a list. You won't know him by whether you date or not. You will know him because he will stand out head and shoulders above the rest in your world. You will know him because you won't have to convince yourself that he's the right guy for you. You will know him because he will be strong in the ways you are not and you will be able to trust and lean on him. You will know him when he comes into your life and is far above the expectations you had for yourself, and you will marvel at how amazing God is and how He can be trusted to know and do what is best for you. And you will throw away your lists.

ijustwanttheTruth · Feb 13, 2012

GOD_IS_LOVE said:

awww thanks girl

ijustwanttheTruth · Feb 13, 2012

Jullianna said:

BEST. ANSWER. EVER. thanks Julianna!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i need no other answers

How will i recognize him? <3

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