I need more than you are willing to give.
- Thread starter Liamson
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I don't like talking on the phone, I find it awkward, but if I'm close to someone, I tolerate it or lightly enjoy it. I rarely just call someone up "just to talk", and maybe that makes me a bad friend, but I'd much rather talk in person, for some reason.
That being said, I think a "good amount" is seeing each other at least once a week (not all planned, some spontaneity like "Hey, it's nice outside, wanna go to the park?") with a phone call and texting in between. All that while there's a mutual understanding of each other's schedules.
Now, if we were doing all that and they suddenly became aloof or unavailable without much of an explanation...I'd probably be concerned.
That being said, I think a "good amount" is seeing each other at least once a week (not all planned, some spontaneity like "Hey, it's nice outside, wanna go to the park?") with a phone call and texting in between. All that while there's a mutual understanding of each other's schedules.
Now, if we were doing all that and they suddenly became aloof or unavailable without much of an explanation...I'd probably be concerned.
The thing I always wonder about you, Wise, is if your attitude was like this before all the bitterness, or if, after making several earnest attempts at love or socializing, you were met with so many disappointments that the bitterness changed your attitude into what it is now. You always seem very unaware of how you come across or maybe you don't care about that either.
I'm not saying any of this in judgement or self-righteousness. It's just that if this is what your attitude is toward people and how you treat them and how you talk to or about them... I'm truly puzzled as to why it is you always seem so surprised that you were treated badly? Why would you expect anything else if this is your SOP? Were you once the nice guy who always got kicked down, and is this what's left of who you used to be? (Kind of like Gollum having had too much exposure to The Ring... and it changed who he was, leaving behind an unrecognizable shadow of his original self.)
I'm also unsure as to why you also never seem to acknowledge that the rest of us here have been through some pretty bad things too. You always talk as if you're the only one who's been through the things you describe or that you've had it the worst of anyone here.
Not that it matters. I understand your opinion of not caring about love because you've either buried it so deep you can't feel it anymore or else you just simply refuse to have any love to give.
And that makes me sad. If this is who you really are, I'm sorry that you're alone. Whatever journey you think you're on... by choice or not... I hope you'll let God in, at the very least. I always feel... I keep using the word sad, maybe it's all I've got tonight... But I always feel down when I see someone who feels the way you tell us you do and is saying the things you keep telling us over and over again.
I wish you the best in whatever your endeavor may be, even if you choose to remain lying stagnant.
You may not be willing to give anything, but God wants to give to you despite what you think you do or don't want to give.
I'm not saying any of this in judgement or self-righteousness. It's just that if this is what your attitude is toward people and how you treat them and how you talk to or about them... I'm truly puzzled as to why it is you always seem so surprised that you were treated badly? Why would you expect anything else if this is your SOP? Were you once the nice guy who always got kicked down, and is this what's left of who you used to be? (Kind of like Gollum having had too much exposure to The Ring... and it changed who he was, leaving behind an unrecognizable shadow of his original self.)
I'm also unsure as to why you also never seem to acknowledge that the rest of us here have been through some pretty bad things too. You always talk as if you're the only one who's been through the things you describe or that you've had it the worst of anyone here.
Not that it matters. I understand your opinion of not caring about love because you've either buried it so deep you can't feel it anymore or else you just simply refuse to have any love to give.
And that makes me sad. If this is who you really are, I'm sorry that you're alone. Whatever journey you think you're on... by choice or not... I hope you'll let God in, at the very least. I always feel... I keep using the word sad, maybe it's all I've got tonight... But I always feel down when I see someone who feels the way you tell us you do and is saying the things you keep telling us over and over again.
I wish you the best in whatever your endeavor may be, even if you choose to remain lying stagnant.
You may not be willing to give anything, but God wants to give to you despite what you think you do or don't want to give.
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A
Texting, smart phones, email, and the Internet has really, super big time made this more complicated than it used to be.
With the ability to have some form of contact every second of the day, comes new, and maybe unrealistic and possibly unhealthy expectations.
Step back, and try to look at things the way we did before texting, email, smart phones, Internet etc.
Back in those days you might talk on the phone once a day. Maybe a nice good night chit chat on the phone.
Back in those days you might go out on a date once or twice a week.
But now with all of the technology we think if we're not texting/emailing/whatever at least five times a day, there may be some drought in the relationship. Yes one could say ..well why not go back to times we didn't have phones..or cars or..eh... No need to get absurd.
I'd say seeing each other once a week would be a minimum.
Of course the ability to glom onto each other electronically 24/7 can ruin that perspective if they only glom on 10 texts a day instead of 20.
With the ability to have some form of contact every second of the day, comes new, and maybe unrealistic and possibly unhealthy expectations.
Step back, and try to look at things the way we did before texting, email, smart phones, Internet etc.
Back in those days you might talk on the phone once a day. Maybe a nice good night chit chat on the phone.
Back in those days you might go out on a date once or twice a week.
But now with all of the technology we think if we're not texting/emailing/whatever at least five times a day, there may be some drought in the relationship. Yes one could say ..well why not go back to times we didn't have phones..or cars or..eh... No need to get absurd.
I'd say seeing each other once a week would be a minimum.
Of course the ability to glom onto each other electronically 24/7 can ruin that perspective if they only glom on 10 texts a day instead of 20.
Been thinking about my response that I gave. Will say, I've reevaluated and I don't feel that way now, been a shift in my thinking.
God is good.
With a thankful heart,
Abbie Jean
"It made me realize that boundaries go both ways. "
Right!
That´s ONE of the reasons dissatisfaction appears.
That´s why many cheats on...
Every empty space seeks to be filled in, as this blank space I saw...
"What is the minimum amount of time you would spend with someone you were starting a relationship with?"
The more we like (o love) a person, the more time WE want sharing, interacting and knowing ONE ANOTHER.
Time?
I´d would spend my whole life for her (just daydreaming)
Right!
That´s ONE of the reasons dissatisfaction appears.
That´s why many cheats on...
Every empty space seeks to be filled in, as this blank space I saw...
"What is the minimum amount of time you would spend with someone you were starting a relationship with?"
The more we like (o love) a person, the more time WE want sharing, interacting and knowing ONE ANOTHER.
Time?
I´d would spend my whole life for her (just daydreaming)