If I were a narcissistic dictator, I would...

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A

arwen83

Guest
#21
1) GOOD and REAL Mexican and Chinese food would always be available at any time of the day. And they would deliver.

2) Sarcasm will be considered a second language.

3) Israel is for the Jews. Palestinians have to leave.

4) Child Molesters do not get to live.

5) Health care would be free.

6) The military would be paid MUCH better!

7) On my birthday everyone would get free cake, pie, or ice cream.

8) There would be a Walking Dead video game for the Wii.

9) Firefly would go back into production!

10) I'm a fan of alternative power, blah, blah, blah, but we'd be drilling for more oil. We don't need OPEC! (probably)

11) Storm chasing would be a national past time.

12) Christianchat.com would be everyone's homepage.

13) There would be a ministry of names. See this post http://christianchat.com/christian-...were-benevolent-dictator-world-i-would-2.html #25

14) There would be aquariums in every state.

15) Gas would be cheap because we drill our own oil, and the profits don't need to be into the billions.

16) There would be drug treatment programs a plenty.

17) Lindsey Lohan would NEVER be able to drive again.

18) There would be ceiling fans in every house. Up to 3 will be paid for by my government.

19) The movie Pitch Perfect would be required watching for all high school sophomores.

20) We would migrate to the metric system. Because Jimmy Carter TOTALLY dropped the ball with this one.

21) Romeo and Juliet would be banished from my kingdom. It's a stupid play. They were CHILDREN! How could they think they were in love? It just fosters stupidity.

22) People who are famous for being famous would no longer get to be famous.

23) I wouldn't wear a crown, but I would have one for funsies.

24) The House and the Senate are stupid. They would be fired.

25) No stupid spending! The Mars Rover would be left on Mars, no one would get grant money to study cockroaches, etc.
I especially agree with:
2) Sarcasm will be considered a second language.
11) Storm chasing would be a national past time--- I WOULD LOVE TO SEE A TORNADO SOMEDAY (from a far distance)!!
 
A

arwen83

Guest
#23
Ban all food-talk on CC just to be a pain... bwahahahahaha
 

Descyple

Senior Member
Jun 7, 2010
3,023
48
48
#24
A minimum of 12 years years in state prison for possessing bacon.
Every grown man in America will cry the day that bill goes through. You're gonna cause an underground bacon movement, people will be sneaking it across the border. And will glue fur or white pompoms to the pig's skin to disguise it as a sheep.
As the Canadian Narcissistic Dictator, I will not allow our bacon to be sent across the border to the bacon-deprived American people.

Americans already took Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, and former couple Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling from us, there is no way they are getting our bacon too!!!
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#26
I would abolish the government-run education system in this country and require healthy, good-tasting food to be served in all school cafeterias. Also, teachers would compete for their jobs every year based on how their students rate them and how well their students do (or improve) in national aptitude tests.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#27
I would also put video cameras and mics in every classroom to protect the kids mostly, but maybe to protect some teachers from bad kids too.
 
Jul 25, 2005
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#28
If I were a completely a narcissistic dictator...well, substitute sadistic for narcissistic and I would lay waste to much of the show business.

Through imprisonment? No.

Censorship? No.

Withering critique and forced marriage of every actor/actress to a Virginia coal miner or coal miner's daughter? Yes!
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#29
Well if people didn't respect me, they would at least fear me. I would take much of my ruling fro the Wisdom of Tywin Lannister(Game of Thrones character) whose motto is 'A Lannister always pays their debts.' One this is both a threat and a reward and Two, my last name rhymes with his. Those they supported me and such would be raised while opposers would be silenced. I would have minstrels write songs about their demise and they would then sing these songs as warnings to people about to receive the same punishment if they dont change their disobedience.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
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#30
Well if people didn't respect me, they would at least fear me. I would take much of my ruling fro the Wisdom of Tywin Lannister(Game of Thrones character) whose motto is 'A Lannister always pays their debts.' One this is both a threat and a reward and Two, my last name rhymes with his. Those they supported me and such would be raised while opposers would be silenced. I would have minstrels write songs about their demise and they would then sing these songs as warnings to people about to receive the same punishment if they dont change their disobedience.
:D I can't wait for that show to start again!!
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#31
A minimum of 12 years years in state prison for possessing bacon.

Is that because you want all the bacon for yourself, or because you don't like bacon at all? The future of your dictatorship depends on your answer...
 
N

NukePooch

Guest
#33

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#34
I would demand/exact the immediate surrender of both Canada and Mexico.

My New Capital would be in Vancouver B.C.

I would institute a 3 year mandatory military service, to the branch of your choice, upon completion of high school. Conscientious Objectors, will work in a Peace Corps type organization for civil work both Domestic and Overseas.

I would remove my country from NATO, the UN, the IMF and NAFTA.

A 7% sales and Capital gains tax will be instituted. Income tax will be abolished.

My currency will be tied to the exchange rate of two commodities to eliminate inflation, ie Gold, Silver, Oil, Coal, etc.

Upon receipt of non-equity Debts greater than 300% of a person's Annual income, all money borrowing transactions will be suspended.

Corporate Bankruptcy laws will be amended to be less lenient in the forgiveness of Debts. Its a dog eat dog world, if Chrystler is drowning, And Honda buys them out, so be it.

Only Property owners will be allowed to Vote for Regional representation.

There will be no Central Banking System. Currency will be Manufactured by the Treasury in each regional province/state.

I would change titles frequently. I would be President, then Prime Minister, then Chancellor, then Chairman, then Emperor and King or something.
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#35
As your narcissistic dictator, I'd demand that 1 billion painters go to outer space, and paint the side of the moon that faces earth purple....because I like purple.

As the Canadian Narcissistic Dictator, I will not allow our bacon to be sent across the border to the bacon-deprived American people.

Americans already took Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, and former couple Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling from us, there is no way they are getting our bacon too!!!
Well okay, but as an American dictator, I'd demand that Canadians have to take back Maroon 5, Justin Bieber, Celine Dion, and Nickelback. Their music would be banned from our half of the border. :p:p It would be worth the bacon deprivation, lololol.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
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0
#36
I would demand/exact the immediate surrender of both Canada and Mexico.

My New Capital would be in Vancouver B.C.

I would institute a 3 year mandatory military service, to the branch of your choice, upon completion of high school. Conscientious Objectors, will work in a Peace Corps type organization for civil work both Domestic and Overseas.

I would remove my country from NATO, the UN, the IMF and NAFTA.

A 7% sales and Capital gains tax will be instituted. Income tax will be abolished.

My currency will be tied to the exchange rate of two commodities to eliminate inflation, ie Gold, Silver, Oil, Coal, etc.

Upon receipt of non-equity Debts greater than 300% of a person's Annual income, all money borrowing transactions will be suspended.

Corporate Bankruptcy laws will be amended to be less lenient in the forgiveness of Debts. Its a dog eat dog world, if Chrystler is drowning, And Honda buys them out, so be it.

Only Property owners will be allowed to Vote for Regional representation.

There will be no Central Banking System. Currency will be Manufactured by the Treasury in each regional province/state.

I would change titles frequently. I would be President, then Prime Minister, then Chancellor, then Chairman, then Emperor and King or something.
I have mixed feeling about the reign of Elizabeth I. Authoritarian controls, no methods of possibly voting her out, but she did an awesome job all things considered.

Same with this, hahaha.
 
A

arwen83

Guest
#37
I would demand/exact the immediate surrender of both Canada and Mexico.

My New Capital would be in Vancouver B.C.


I would institute a 3 year mandatory military service, to the branch of your choice, upon completion of high school. Conscientious Objectors, will work in a Peace Corps type organization for civil work both Domestic and Overseas.

I would remove my country from NATO, the UN, the IMF and NAFTA.

A 7% sales and Capital gains tax will be instituted. Income tax will be abolished.

My currency will be tied to the exchange rate of two commodities to eliminate inflation, ie Gold, Silver, Oil, Coal, etc.

Upon receipt of non-equity Debts greater than 300% of a person's Annual income, all money borrowing transactions will be suspended.

Corporate Bankruptcy laws will be amended to be less lenient in the forgiveness of Debts. Its a dog eat dog world, if Chrystler is drowning, And Honda buys them out, so be it.

Only Property owners will be allowed to Vote for Regional representation.

There will be no Central Banking System. Currency will be Manufactured by the Treasury in each regional province/state.

I would change titles frequently. I would be President, then Prime Minister, then Chancellor, then Chairman, then Emperor and King or something.
*arwen prepares to wage war*
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#40
As your narcissistic dictator, I'd demand that 1 billion painters go to outer space, and paint the side of the moon that faces earth purple....because I like purple.



Well okay, but as an American dictator, I'd demand that Canadians have to take back Maroon 5, Justin Bieber, Celine Dion, and Nickelback. Their music would be banned from our half of the border. :p:p It would be worth the bacon deprivation, lololol.
Just as fair warning if you ban Maroon 5 I will be leading a revolution against your regime and then I will crush it and set up my own government. The national anthem will be The Fall of Relena7 and it will be a duet between Adam Levine and Chad Kroeger. And will be played every 30 minutes on the radio regardless of station.

Yes I really do like Maroon 5, Nickelback im 50/50 on