In Society's Race to Empower Little Girls, Are Little Boys Being Left Behind?
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T
This is a touchy subject to me. There are no quickfix or a certain thing to blame. Well. The only quickfix is Jesus, and if you could blame only one thing is the evil one. So. If you mind. Could you please join me in prayer for my son. He is living the lie as a she. And it breaks my heart. Perhaps it was because I was raising him by myself. Perhaps I should have blocked the internet, perhaps I should have spent more time with him reading the Bible. Perhaps... I can blame my self for hours. It doesn't help much, does it?
Zero,
That's a picture of Jazz Jennings, correct?
It's so sad to me that he (identifying as a she) is held up as a "role model" for society and gender identity when he isn't even old enough to have formed a solid identity yet.
Toinena,
Please don't beat yourself up. I'm sure you did everything you could. There are many Christian parents who are struggling with the same issues with their own children. I will surely remember your son in my prayers.
This is only my own half-baked theory but our society today is one that is addicted to attention. Sometimes it can even be a matter of survival. After all, isn't that what we're all told to do? We have to add a little "snap" and "flash" to our resumes to "make ourselves stand out", or else we're just another faceless group of words lost in the heap of other nameless candidates. The advice I've read for women going on interviews is to wear something appropriate but memorable (like an accessory) that will help those conducting the interview remember her.
Most people today will do anything to set themselves apart for attention and grab a few pats on the back. After all, isn't that why everyone posts the best, most fun, and exciting moments of our lives on the internet? We're all looking for the attention, approval, and sometimes even the envy of others.
I personally wonder if a lot of the men who "want" to be women are really addicted to attention the receive as a "woman." After all, attractive women receive more attention (not to mention sexual attention) than anyone else in society. I often wonder if "gender issues" are frequently really just a matter of trying to grab a slice of the pie.
And, I wonder if, like so many others, these people mistake, or prefer the attention they receive to real love--which happens to plenty of straight, "normal" people as well (think of catfish on the internet.)
I think it's a very confusing time for everyone in our society. I would love to see men be able to be more open about their feelings. And I've always felt a need to be "tough", because I always figured guys had enough to deal with--they wouldn't need to deal with my issues on top of it, even though I had always wished to find someone who could.
But somewhere along the line, I think I became more like Rambo-punzel instead of Ra-punzel. Instead of brushing a long rope of hair, I sometimes feel like I'm wielding an emotional machine gun, and I'm trying to work on that. (Secretly, sometimes it would be nice to have someone to fall apart around now and then.)
I also have a strong heart for people who are caught "in-between" gender/identity issues because my whole life is caught in-between issues of class, race, and age.
I know that's not quite the same as a a gender identity problem, but I really understand this feeling of, "Who am I? I don't know who I am, or where I'm meant to be, and I don't. fit. in. anywhere."
I always feel a tug in my heart towards people like that, because I'm always longing to give them a group or cause that they really feel like they're a part of, because that's what I'm always looking for, too, and I know God is the only way to find it.
That's a picture of Jazz Jennings, correct?
It's so sad to me that he (identifying as a she) is held up as a "role model" for society and gender identity when he isn't even old enough to have formed a solid identity yet.
Toinena,
Please don't beat yourself up. I'm sure you did everything you could. There are many Christian parents who are struggling with the same issues with their own children. I will surely remember your son in my prayers.
This is only my own half-baked theory but our society today is one that is addicted to attention. Sometimes it can even be a matter of survival. After all, isn't that what we're all told to do? We have to add a little "snap" and "flash" to our resumes to "make ourselves stand out", or else we're just another faceless group of words lost in the heap of other nameless candidates. The advice I've read for women going on interviews is to wear something appropriate but memorable (like an accessory) that will help those conducting the interview remember her.
Most people today will do anything to set themselves apart for attention and grab a few pats on the back. After all, isn't that why everyone posts the best, most fun, and exciting moments of our lives on the internet? We're all looking for the attention, approval, and sometimes even the envy of others.
I personally wonder if a lot of the men who "want" to be women are really addicted to attention the receive as a "woman." After all, attractive women receive more attention (not to mention sexual attention) than anyone else in society. I often wonder if "gender issues" are frequently really just a matter of trying to grab a slice of the pie.
And, I wonder if, like so many others, these people mistake, or prefer the attention they receive to real love--which happens to plenty of straight, "normal" people as well (think of catfish on the internet.)
I think it's a very confusing time for everyone in our society. I would love to see men be able to be more open about their feelings. And I've always felt a need to be "tough", because I always figured guys had enough to deal with--they wouldn't need to deal with my issues on top of it, even though I had always wished to find someone who could.
But somewhere along the line, I think I became more like Rambo-punzel instead of Ra-punzel. Instead of brushing a long rope of hair, I sometimes feel like I'm wielding an emotional machine gun, and I'm trying to work on that. (Secretly, sometimes it would be nice to have someone to fall apart around now and then.)
I also have a strong heart for people who are caught "in-between" gender/identity issues because my whole life is caught in-between issues of class, race, and age.
I know that's not quite the same as a a gender identity problem, but I really understand this feeling of, "Who am I? I don't know who I am, or where I'm meant to be, and I don't. fit. in. anywhere."
I always feel a tug in my heart towards people like that, because I'm always longing to give them a group or cause that they really feel like they're a part of, because that's what I'm always looking for, too, and I know God is the only way to find it.
T
I am sorry I was such a joy killer. And it is a good topic to discuss. I guess it all boils down to that I wish Jesus will return soon. But not before I get my son back. It is a confusing world. Altough I was sometimes mistaken for a boy when growing up, I never questioned my gender. Now there is a long list of alternatives. I am happy the world was more simple then.
I have a brother close in age and as kids, my Mom kept our hair short and pretty much the same style. While I don't think we have ever looked anything alike (even back then), people constantly asked her if we were twins, or would say, "Oh! Your boys are just so cute!"
My Mom would promptly answer, "Yes. And, one of them is a girl."
Like you, I never had Barbies or even Strawberry Shortcake dolls (but I was secretly jealous of the girls who had them.) I leaned more towards boy's toys, and my parents started getting us the same things for Christmas--I remember how excited I was when I got a laser blaster that had like 10 settings for different sound effects, and red lightsabers that we used to beat our stuffed animals with as if it was an MMA fight (my Mom always stopped the fights, though.
) Poor Mom was constantly having to re-attach arms, ears, and heads to almost any stuffed toy we got our hands on.
If I had had any kind of athletic ability at all (I don't), I probably would have been a complete tomboy. But, I never actually thought about or wanted to BE a boy. But that was just me.
I just always thought boys had lots of cool stuff.
And, I still think that today.
My Mom would promptly answer, "Yes. And, one of them is a girl."
Like you, I never had Barbies or even Strawberry Shortcake dolls (but I was secretly jealous of the girls who had them.) I leaned more towards boy's toys, and my parents started getting us the same things for Christmas--I remember how excited I was when I got a laser blaster that had like 10 settings for different sound effects, and red lightsabers that we used to beat our stuffed animals with as if it was an MMA fight (my Mom always stopped the fights, though.
) Poor Mom was constantly having to re-attach arms, ears, and heads to almost any stuffed toy we got our hands on. If I had had any kind of athletic ability at all (I don't), I probably would have been a complete tomboy. But, I never actually thought about or wanted to BE a boy. But that was just me.
I just always thought boys had lots of cool stuff.
And, I still think that today.
*Reads the first two posts, than looks down at my pants for a bit*
Dang it, I can't answer the question...
Dang it, I can't answer the question...
1. I certainly do think that young girls are more on the spotlight recently than boys...and I think I know mostly why. You see, in the eyes of the oh-so-reliable media, boys and men are thought to always, always, ALWAYS be the tough ones. In many old cultures, the father, or the grandfather, were seen as the head of the household, partially because they are seen as more tough and capable than women. This isn't as common was before, but still, if a boy or man gets harmed, and cries about it, they are shunned for not acting as the typical male...stereotype...(gosh, I HATE that word...)
The point is, the young boys and men are expected to hold their own and look after themselves and the whole family, but girls did not have the same expectations long ago. They were seen as only useful for looking after the households and raising the children, and young boys were often prioritized over girls in terms of multiple factors, such as education. So now...I guess the media is kind of 'compensating', in a way.
Not that I would agree with the media on this one, though. :/
2. That's quite difficult to do without MASSIVE public backlash. The risks of focusing on empowering boys over girls will be GUARANTEED to provoke harsh accusations from the often coined term "Feminazis" (I don't believe that real feminists are like this...). So good luck with that. :/
3. I have no younger male relatives that I know very well of, and I am an only child, so I can't answer this question.
...Sorry for blabbering a little bit about this...I'll stop now...
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Well, this could be a very hot topic. I do think that we are systematically gutting masculinity from our culture and it's a huge problem. I would, however, like to address the topic of "women used to have it terrible and now we're balancing it out". When you drill down into what was so much more terrible for women, it almost always comes down to power. No one that I've talked to says that a woman breaking her back raising a family at home is any worse off than a man breaking his back at the coal mines, or putting his life on the line in the armed forces. In fact, working mortality rates bear out the fact that societies have been and are designed to protect women and children. Who really is in control- the limo driver who you see turning the wheel or the guy in the back that gets the benefit of the ride? (please, one pitchfork per person) So the power imbalance decreases in some ways when you realize that said power is being used to protect those who are without it. We are at a place now though were that is not true anymore. Women aren't oppressed and I would argue that they are starting to over leverage their position while men still bear the brunt of protector style roles. It seems as if women have decided they would rather lead themselves (which is fine) but they are not okay with letting go of the provision and protection that comes attached to male leadership and so things are becoming perverted.
This line of thinking is a digression for this thread however, and I'd like to point out that it seems as if it's becoming a social crime for a man to be a man. The crux of this issue seems to lie at an educational level, where just being a male teacher puts one under suspicion by it's very virtue. We've almost wholly cut men out of grade school education, while simultaneously building our programs around catering to girls. No wonder the college graduation rate for men is dropping like a rock.
This line of thinking is a digression for this thread however, and I'd like to point out that it seems as if it's becoming a social crime for a man to be a man. The crux of this issue seems to lie at an educational level, where just being a male teacher puts one under suspicion by it's very virtue. We've almost wholly cut men out of grade school education, while simultaneously building our programs around catering to girls. No wonder the college graduation rate for men is dropping like a rock.