Is Pre-Marital Sex the Only Sin Couples Can Commit?

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shawntc

shawntc

Senior Member
#1
May 7, 2010
729
11
0
#1
What is the #1 rule that all non-married Christian couples seem to be held to?

No sex before marriage.

It's like, pre-marital sex is the only possible sin that a couple could commit. For some reason, it's used as the "standard" for how well a teen or young adult couple is following God's way for their lives. If they don't have sex, they're honoring God; if they do have sex, then suddenly they're just like the worldly couples?

I'm not trying to downplay it, of course. A sin is a sin. Yet... why is that the only thing that seems to be focused upon? I'm befuddled. Surely sexual immorality is not the only thing which couples can get in trouble for? Isn't there anything else? Anything at all? Why does it only come down to sex?
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#2
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
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#2
Ananias and Sapphira anyone? :p
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#6
#6
In my observation of couples I've noticed that sexual sin usually occurs as a result of other sins like letting your boyfriend or girlfriend become an idol or being lukewarm. Not saying that two lukewarm Christians cannot wait till marriage...but usually they don't.
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#7
#7
After reading my post I feel like it's too simplistic. I wanna add that I know even mature born-again Christians can sin with sexual sin..but I would say that sexual sin, like having sex before being married, usually occurs when a person is not very close to God. That's why I think Paul says do not yoke with unbelievers...and he also says that the role of a husband is to make his wife holy, cleansing her and washing her with the word (Eph5). The wife also is supposed to be a suitable help, and I don't think you can be of any help if you aren't willing to do God's will. I think the biggest sin is not being what you are called to be, that's usually the root of most problems.
 
M

Moe

Guest
#8
#8
Christian couples should ask them selves, is what we are doing or about to do acceptable to the Lord. As a Christian you have to obey God rather than men, that includes everyone really.We all make mistakes, it's the conscience ones that get us into trouble. Just the thought of having sex is a sin because of lust.
Will you be forgiven after you are married, yes, but who what's that on their record.The most respect that you can show each other is not to lead the other into a sinful situation...Cheers
 
shawntc

shawntc

Senior Member
#9
May 7, 2010
729
11
0
#9
Why does sexual sin seem to be the most highlighted no-no for relationships? Isn't there something else they should also be warned against doing?
 
cal3091

cal3091

Junior Member
#10
Oct 19, 2011
11
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#10
I believe there a lot of other sins that are or can be committed. Thinking too much about 'sex' sometimes blinds us, so that we don't see what the other sins are.
 
P

Peter321

Guest
#11
#11
All sin are equal in God's eyes aren't they?
Why focus on the 'sexual' sinning when there's things like lying, gossip, stealing etc.
To me the latter ones seem to be the ones that bring more troubles in daily life anyways.
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#12
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#12
shawntc said:
Why does sexual sin seem to be the most highlighted no-no for relationships? Isn't there something else they should also be warned against doing?
Click to expand...
Part of it is a reaction to what is going on in the world.

The Sexual Revolution has spawned its own little zeitgeist that Christians have been more or less forced to harp on.
 
R

rainacorn

Guest
#13
#13
pre-marital (and post-marital) couples are capable of committing any sin...you know, cause they're human beings.

Sex is brought up often in regard to people in romantic relationships that are not married for very obvious reasons.
 
LightningClap0002

LightningClap0002

Senior Member
#14
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#14
Sex requires a man and a woman, close time, emotions, and [typically] alone time. All of these things are present together when dating/being a "couple." It is not the only sin, but the rest are primarily individual sins, as such aren't viewed as being a combined sin. Both parties are sinning together, simultaneously, as a couple, not just as two individuals.

Even in the case of Ananias and Saphira, their sins were separate(by time). They were collaborative, but not a single combined sin.

Furthermore, the prevalence of sex between christian friends is fairly miniscule in comparison to the prevalence of sex between christian couples. So, when addressing a couple, instead of a pair of individuals, it does not seem surprising to see a focus on sex.
 
L

Liz01

Guest
#15
#15
I think ppl focus specifically in this sin because its easier that it lead to many other sins than others.
 
R

rauleetoe

Guest
#16
#16
kayem77 said:
In my observation of couples I've noticed that sexual sin usually occurs as a result of other sins like letting your boyfriend or girlfriend become an idol or being lukewarm. Not saying that two lukewarm Christians cannot wait till marriage...but usually they don't.
Click to expand...

Good stuff..if you do not have a strong/growing relationship with God and are codependent..you will have a tendency to worship your gf/bf and thus will cave. We all have something we will worsihp..the question is..what will it be?
 
R

rauleetoe

Guest
#17
#17
Peter321 said:
All sin are equal in God's eyes aren't they?
Why focus on the 'sexual' sinning when there's things like lying, gossip, stealing etc.
To me the latter ones seem to be the ones that bring more troubles in daily life anyways.
Click to expand...
Actually, i am not one to be very 'sin' conscious..but the issue with sexual sin is it it so deeply rootedin other things/reasons why we do it..there is a need underlying as to why we get caught up with it in the first place. And yes, all sin is sin..i whole heartedly agree! But sexual sin can have long lasting repercussions long after the sexual act has taken place.
1)someone gets pregnant, gets married because they're pregnant..or becomes a single mom out of wedlock.
2)STDs..some curable some not
3) baggage..you show me someone who has had premarital sex, and i will show you someone with deep rooted baggage who may or may not realize it but it affects even how they deal with others..especially the opposite sex. From my observation..many young women and men who have had multiple sex encounters before marriage have hurts underlying that, and self worth/esteem issues as well.
3) If you are conistently sinning sexually, chances are you are hurting in your relationship with God. Do we fall sometimes? Surely..i do..i hate when i do..but has not God called us to aim high, seek after perfection even if we may never attain it? Do we not try to be accountable to each other in the body and grow in our walks with Jesus?
4) Other consequences..i speak from personal conviction in this manner..the guilt that is there, the feelings of sadness, regret..and knowing one day if God's will for me is to be married that i have to tell my future wife that i didn't wait for her like i initially promised i would..it's going to suck, and its going to be a sad day for me. If i am ever to get married..I want no one, not even my worst enemy to feel that pain, and sadness and regret. That said, yes..all sin is sin..i agree more than many others here. .But sexual sin is deeply rooted, it has spiritual implications..and the consequences sometimes do not leave immediately. And this is from a grace oriented 'free grace' guy.. I know that i know that I have been forgiven. Yet the consequences are not always removed friend..
 
R

rauleetoe

Guest
#18
#18
shawntc said:
Why does sexual sin seem to be the most highlighted no-no for relationships? Isn't there something else they should also be warned against doing?
Click to expand...
I agree..but Paul clearly warns about being sexually impure. And i am not one who advocates legalism in any way..but i cannot go too far in the new testament to see that sexual sins are obviously a big no no for those who wish to enter the kingdom. Granted, King David fell..Solomon had his weaknesses regarding women..Samson fell..Heck..even Adam fell i feel to please his wife..
We need to be mindfull always about sin each and every day and what it does. But we should not and are commanded against getting wrapped up in these sexual sins..collosians 3:3, for you are dead..and your life is hid through God in Christ. Read further down..and you will see about the sins you should not partake in/behavior that you had died to in him(Jesus Christ) I love Paul's writings because they so clearly speak in practical manners how to live this christian life.
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#19
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#19
Peter321 said:
All sin are equal in God's eyes aren't they?
Why focus on the 'sexual' sinning when there's things like lying, gossip, stealing etc.
To me the latter ones seem to be the ones that bring more troubles in daily life anyways.
Click to expand...
This is a mentality that has been adopted by Christians but is not 100% accurate. All sin is considered in the fact that 1. the wage is death and 2. only Jesus can bring forgiveness through repentance and can pay the price that we cannot pay. Here is an article that explains it a little better:

Are all sins equal to God?

Basically, though, lying is not viewed the same by God as rape, hate the same as the actual act of murder, etc.
 
N

niceguyJ

Senior Member
#20
Feb 5, 2011
520
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#20
Peter321 said:
All sin are equal in God's eyes aren't they?
Click to expand...
1 Corinthians 6:18

New International Version (NIV)

18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
 
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