"It's better for a man to marry than to burn with passion"

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AmmiAmmiel

Guest
#1
#1
How much better is it? Am I to marry someone who certainly makes me feel loved and genuinely cares about me but isn't saved, than to burn with passion otherwise,..?

What if I do find someone who I feel I could marry, given that she loves me and encourages my faith? Do I burn with passion and don't go for it because she's not a saved woman? Or do I go for it in hopes that my faith will bless her life so as to not burn with passion?

I'm conflicted with this subject. I do so desire to be married and loved physically, but I'm afflicted by the belief of not being unequally yoked with unbelievers. Will it displease The Lord if I do indeed marry an unsaved person more than it displeases Him to see me burn with passion? I know for a fact that the lack of intimate loving physical relation with a woman drags me into a multitude of sins,.. Or is it my desire to be in that kind of relationship that's dragging me? If I were married or at least were in a relationship with someone who would marry me, I know I wouldn't desire to do the things I do now to quell my passion. It would be satisfied by the love of another. So what do I do? I see my options as: either continue to burn with passion or succumb to it and look for someone to marry.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#2
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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#2
I'm not quite sure I see the connection between burning with passion and marrying an unbeliever. The Bible makes it very clear that Christians are not to marry non-Christians, so why would you pursue a non-Christian just for the sake of getting married?

I'm not accusing you, I'm just a big confuzzled as to how you made the connection between burning with passion and being unequally yoked.

ETA: I was recently shown another perspective of that verse. I used to think it meant that if you're just burning, just find the nearest Christian woman and marry her ASAP so you can get out your desires. The new perspective on that verse that I was introduced to was more like if you are engaged, and you're burning, it's better to just get married and not wait another 2 years until the wedding that you're planning if you're going to fall into sin before that.
 
Mo0448

Mo0448

Senior Member
#3
Jun 10, 2013
1,209
15
38
#3
rachelsedge said:
I'm not quite sure I see the connection between burning with passion and marrying an unbeliever. The Bible makes it very clear that Christians are not to marry non-Christians, so why would you pursue a non-Christian just for the sake of getting married?

I'm not accusing you, I'm just a big confuzzled as to how you made the connection between burning with passion and being unequally yoked.

ETA: I was recently shown another perspective of that verse. I used to think it meant that if you're just burning, just find the nearest Christian woman and marry her ASAP so you can get out your desires. The new perspective on that verse that I was introduced to was more like if you are engaged, and you're burning, it's better to just get married and not wait another 2 years until the wedding that you're planning if you're going to fall into sin before that.
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While I understand and see that perspective there is also this one:

1 Corinthians 7:12-14
To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#4
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
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#4
Mo0448 said:
While I understand and see that perspective there is also this one:

1 Corinthians 7:12-14
To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
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That's after marriage, though. If you can help at all not getting married to an unbeliever...you shouldn't. ;)
 
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Bluecomet

Guest
#6
#6
Scripture says tou can marry a non-christian. But if you can't get along, then depart. A Christian is not bound by this LAW.
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#7
#7
AmmiAmmiel said:
I know for a fact that the lack of intimate loving physical relation with a woman drags me into a multitude of sins,..
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Do you ACTUALLY know? I ask that, because the only way you would really "know for a fact" (as you describe it) is if you've actually been in an intimate loving physical relationship with a woman. If you've been in an intimate loving physical relationship, and the "multitude of sins" you speak of ceases, then yes, you know for a fact. But if you haven't actually been there, then you're just speculating. You THINK that the relationship will solve the problem.

Let me break the bad news to you: getting married and having sex doesn't fix those issues. While I wasn't married, I was in a committed physical relationship for almost seven years, and it didn't solve my problems. Kirk Franklin got married, and is a gospel superstar, and it didn't solve his problems either. There comes a point where the urge to merge isn't just the testosterone in your system. It's far, far deeper, and far more serious.
 
V

vikash

Guest
#8
#8
I m going through the same problem. But God tells me to wait for the right time because when things happens according to his time, they are more wonderful. I m also being burn with passion, but its a need of flesh and not the will of God and word of God says that we shouldn't let flesh overpower spirit. God will bring the right partner to you and you will come to know in spirit that she is the one. You should wait for the right time and till then prepare yourself for the responsibilities you will have after marriage. Their are spiritual as well as physical responsibilities, you should be also be prepare with enough finances. First Pray and then do what God says.
 
thecreationtutor

thecreationtutor

Senior Member
#9
Jun 30, 2011
2,521
35
0
#9
AmmiAmmiel said:
How much better is it? Am I to marry someone who certainly makes me feel loved and genuinely cares about me but isn't saved, than to burn with passion otherwise,..?

What if I do find someone who I feel I could marry, given that she loves me and encourages my faith? Do I burn with passion and don't go for it because she's not a saved woman? Or do I go for it in hopes that my faith will bless her life so as to not burn with passion?

I'm conflicted with this subject. I do so desire to be married and loved physically, but I'm afflicted by the belief of not being unequally yoked with unbelievers. Will it displease The Lord if I do indeed marry an unsaved person more than it displeases Him to see me burn with passion? I know for a fact that the lack of intimate loving physical relation with a woman drags me into a multitude of sins,.. Or is it my desire to be in that kind of relationship that's dragging me? If I were married or at least were in a relationship with someone who would marry me, I know I wouldn't desire to do the things I do now to quell my passion. It would be satisfied by the love of another. So what do I do? I see my options as: either continue to burn with passion or succumb to it and look for someone to marry.
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Well, I hate to brake this too you but, if you get married, the lust get's worse - it's a root problem that won't be satisfied with a woman
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#10
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
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#10
rachelsedge said:
I'm not accusing you, I'm just a big confuzzled as to how you made the connection between burning with passion and being unequally yoked.
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1) I can't believe I wrote "confuzzled". I was thinking it, but meant to actually type "confused" like a normal person.

2) I meant "bit". "A bit confused".

Double fail. :eek:
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#11
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#11
To the OP, I know people have married people that aren't saved, it can be difficult. But it could work out that she will eventually find Jesus and become saved. It's hard to answer that question. As a person who's been married for 14 years I will tell you the burning passion dies down. That isn't always a bad thing. I still love my husband and we are closer. As the years have gone by I love him more deeply. One thing I know we have together though is our Love for God and our Savior Jesus Christ. That to me is so important. That is one thing you'll want to consider, burning passion dies but your love of God is forever.

If you plan on having Children do you care that they may be confused by your faith and her not having any? That can be confusing for a child. These are things to consider. Pray about it and see where God leads you.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#12
#12
rachelsedge said:
1) I can't believe I wrote "confuzzled". I was thinking it, but meant to actually type "confused" like a normal person.

2) I meant "bit". "A bit confused".

Double fail. :eek:
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I kinda like confuzzled :)

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To the OP: Take marriage (which is pretty difficult) + sexual issues + being unequally yoked ...
doesn't sound like a wise plan to me at all
 
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colalella2891

Guest
#13
#13
I wouldn't go for her bro... Those marriages rarely work out... In my case I haven't seen one work out, my church is full of divorced people and many of them were in similar situations as you.

I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but don't do it.

You should find another way to control your lust though... I have the same problem. Worship/praise Him, and read the Word. Ask for His help too, it's really all you can do.
 
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