Speaking as a married woman who has been through it all, it took about 25 years for us to work this out.
In the beginning we had joint accounts and joint credit cards. We also had very little money, although we both worked, with 4 children eating up the spare change.
We fought continually about money, and in 1995 when we separated, I went and drained the savings account and realized we only had $500 in it. That was our "cushion."
After we reunited, we went totally separate accounts, except for a joint chequing to pay the bills. That stopped a lot of fighting, and also competition to spend what little money we had on our own desires (mine was the children, his was his cars!)
After we went to a financial seminar put on by his company, they recommended joint bank accounts for everything, in case of death. That way you don't have to wait for the will to be probated to get the spouse's money. Sometimes that can take years.
So we went joint on everything, but I can only access his money at the bank, and vice versa. I can see his accounts on-line, but I can only use my own. The joint, is still joint on-line as he makes more money than me, but I pay the bills. He has a joint American Express, and I pay household bills like food and gas with it. I have my own cards for my book habit, and he has separate cards for his car habit. LOL
Maybe we have just mellowed with age, or having more money makes it easier to cope with the division of money. But we have not fought about money in at least 10 years, although he has retired, making for an adjustment on both of our parts with regards to spending.
I highly recommend joint accounts, but with access limited to bank transfers. Of course, if you trust your spouse, it doesn't really matter how you work your banking. If you don't trust your spouse with money, time for some serious marriage counseling, is my thought!