MAN THOUGHTS (men only please)

[jeremyPJ]

1. Respectfully, lovingly, caring. Be genuine. And please, don't allow your family/friends to mistreat/disrespect me. Been there, done that. If I ever see that again, I'm gone. Instantly. I kid you not...

2. Like the good, friendly, helpful God-obeying man I am. Certainly not like feminist-power "supergirls" treat theirs! (disrespectfully).

3. I present myself as I am. I am a pure, warm hearted loving man. When I find myself in the company of the other kind, I keep silent and steer clear. I try to get involved in church activities, I enjoy helping others with a cause for our members and our children. And I refuse to get involved with anyone or anything that could take me down the "world's" path anymore.

 

[ServantStrike]

1. With love and respect. I expect her to look to Christ for spiritual fulfillment and to me for worldly love and companionship. But sweet mercy she had better not look at me for spiritual fulfillment, I will not be made an idol! I also expect complete and total transparency, and plan on making that a two way street.

2. With respect. I'm not some creeper and I don't tear women down. So, I expect the same thing from them I do from men - give me a chance to prove I am the person I claim to be - a sinful man trying to follow Christ.

3. I'm not content to only mold myself, I'd love to grow in Christ with other men, so this (which, apparently has gone over like a lead balloon). I'm already brutally honest and I already share my thoughts and feelings quite freely, so the transparency isn't going to be an issue.

 

[Ugly]

1 - Respected.
The ability to speak to what she wants and needs clearly and directly. Not as a demand, but an expression of what she is looking for.
The thread recently that covered a man having to put on a 'leadership facade' hit home. So a wife who would understand and acknowledge the version of leadership i would have to offer.
A willingness to work issues out. If we have a disagreement i want to be able to get it worked out and not sit on the frustration or anger and let that kind of thing build up and come between us over time as more and more things pile up.
Loved. And all the things that fall under the idea of what really should be about.
To grow together. We are all in need of growth and a woman that couldn't grow out of their past, their shortcomings, etc... would not work. I am constantly trying to change and grow as a person. To acknowledge my faults as much as possible, so a woman that could see that in me and support that, and want to grow with me.
I guess just a general sense of support and belief in me. When a good woman stands behind you and believes in you it can cause you to do more things than you thought you could before.

There are probably more, but these are the things that first come to mind.


2 - I guess whether man or woman i just want to be treated decently and accepted for who i am. We all have shortcomings and we can either accept them or not. If you can't, then move on.

3 - I try to conduct myself in the manner that i think a woman would want to be treated. Much of it is not a real effort. Its a learning process though.

 

[cubfan716]

The following are my responses to the questions asked:

1) I would like to be treated with respect, allowing me to take the lead in the relationship in a Godly manner. I want her to encourage me in the good and bad times. I want her love for Christ to flow into our relationship for Christ will be the cornerstone of our relationship.


2) Respect is the word. I think guys like to be heard and when attempt something and we don't have that voice of support it may bring us down thus wounding our manhood. Just like guys should be great listeners, women should listen to guys because we guys we may talk the talk and be all tough on the outside but we are much more. We have a hard time sharing our emotions so women being gentle encouragers is very necessary especially in maintain healthy communication in a relationship.


3) Though I'm not in a relationship I know that no matter what women I have contact in my life I need to treat them with this mutual respect that I hope one day I will have with that special girl. I need to learn to be a great listener, to be tender to women, to not treat women as potentials or a piece of meat as many men do and treat them with respect, learn to be thoughtful, and develop spiritually in my relationship in Christ for the cornerstone of our relationship will be Christ! The task is hard at times my special girl (my princess, my love)....she is worth it! Though I don't know her I am beginning the task of preparing for that relationship, a God-honoring relationship!

Feel free to share your thoughts on my answers,

Luis

 

[secularhermit]

Re: WOMAN THOUGHTS (women only please)

Thanks, secularhermit. I think you are in the wrong thread, Sir If you are gonna stay, you'll have to at least shave!

[h=2]Thread: Woman should not teach or assume authority over men (applies to secular????)[/h]

 

[Searching4Truth]

Question 1: How would you like to be treated by your special lady? Not a bunch of rules, etc., but how you honestly would like to be TREATED

Question 2: How would you like to be treated by women in general?

As an equal. (This answer covers both question 1 and 2)

Question 3: How are you conducting yourself in order to bring what you would like to see in Questions 1 and 2 come about?

I try to the best of my ability to treat others as I like to be treated.

 

[jeremyPJ]

Question 1: How would you like to be treated by your special lady? Not a bunch of rules, etc., but how you honestly would like to be TREATED

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I like to be friends as well as lovers. To be totally into each other. To respect me, as I respect her. This seems like a thing of the past anymore. When they get around their friends, who maybe are jealous of our relationship, they tend to put their friends first and the heck with me. I won't let my friends mess stuff up, and you shouldn't either. I don't ask to be treated like a prince, just want to be loved, appreciated and respected.

Question 2: How would you like to be treated by women in general?

Same as #1.

Question 3: How are you conducting yourself in order to bring what you would like to see in Questions 1 and 2 come about?

I got rid of my wife recently, who had friends who disrespected me like she and her boys from her previous marriage did. I have since been in counseling, to figure out why women treat me this way, and going to church now. The people in church are totally different from her friends, it's kind of shocking, really. I deserve better, and now I will not settle for anything less.

 

[wisebeardman]

I gave up on women long ago.

I could care less how they treat me anymore honestly.

and what I would like is a moot point, ol saying wish in one hand poo in the other which one fills up faster.

 

[Sponge_Bob]

The way my woman treats me is the way I want to be treated. She treats me like I am King and she is Queen. Simple as that.

 

[Jullianna]

Re: WOMAN THOUGHTS (women only please)

Thread: Woman should not teach or assume authority over men (applies to secular????)

ASKING QUESTIONS is neither teaching men nor assuming authority over them, and I find being accused of this highly insulting.

My apologies to everyone reading this thread for the disruption, but since the thread I made for the women is not here anymore, I felt it necessary to address the misleading post shown above (which was a JOKE from another thread).

I will never understand why some folks intentionally cause trouble for no reason. Not sure I want to either.

God bless!

 

[kenthomas27]

Re: WOMAN THOUGHTS (women only please)

ASKING QUESTIONS is neither teaching men nor assuming authority over them, and I find being accused of this highly insulting.

My apologies to everyone reading this thread for the disruption, but since the thread I made for the women is not here anymore, I felt it necessary to address the misleading post shown above (which was a JOKE from another thread).

I will never understand why some folks intentionally cause trouble for no reason. Not sure I want to either.

God bless!

ooh. I knew this would happen when I read this but enough time went by and so I thought you just missed it but I can see I was wrong.

Secularhermit - if you need a lawyer you can use mine - Dewey Cheatum and Howe.

 

[Jullianna]

Nope. Didn't miss it. Was simply trying to respect the thread and stay out of it. If a certain person had given the women's thread the same courtesy, I wouldn't have needed to straighten this out. *sigh* *wanders off shaking her head*

 

[phil36]

I'm going to make a reciprocal thread for the ladies, but I would really like to see some honest answers from the guys without a free for all. Thanks

I was thinking it might be more constructive to use past hurts as a learning experience rather than getting all negative about it, you know? Let's all learn from one another in a more civilized way, please?

Question 1: How would you like to be treated by your special lady? Not a bunch of rules, etc., but how you honestly would like to be TREATED


Question 2: How would you like to be treated by women in general?


Question 3: How are you conducting yourself in order to bring what you would like to see in Questions 1 and 2 come about?

View attachment 67614

Answers

1) Honestly

2) Honestly

3) Honest


I think being truthful and loving truth honestly counts or at least a good starting point

Oh and Julianna stop asking men questions get your hat and be quiet

 

[GreenNnice]

I'm going to make a reciprocal thread for the ladies, but I would really like to see some honest answers from the guys without a free for all. Thanks

I was thinking it might be more constructive to use past hurts as a learning experience rather than getting all negative about it, you know? Let's all learn from one another in a more civilized way, please?

Question 1: How would you like to be treated by your special lady? Not a bunch of rules, etc., but how you honestly would like to be TREATED


Question 2: How would you like to be treated by women in general?


Question 3: How are you conducting yourself in order to bring what you would like to see in Questions 1 and 2 come about?

View attachment 67614

1. She will know how to treat me because she realizes God is going to be in charge of my way of treating her, or, if I deviate, she will KNOW from Him to scat faster than a scared scaredy-cat, Or, she could also so choose to not run, but, instead, to point out I'm not treating her like Jesus would do, and, forgive, if I started treating her nicely.

This is Scripture, here, from Ephesians 5, and, just because it's a wife supposed to submit to her husband and a husband submitting to Christ, this doesn't mean the same principles don't apply to unmarrieds, AT LEAST, for the guy's side of things.. The girls side of things, which I'll explain in a second? No. But, THE GUY? Yes !
He should go out with the girl, knowing He is answering to Christ, even, though, outside of marriage, the GIRL IS NOT submitting to the guy.
The Lord leads. He let's us know these things of 'treatment,' but, she will know by being with me that my eyes are not on her nor hers should be on me, BOTH sets are on the Lord. I mean, sure, we like each other, we look at each other, but, our sights, maybe, that's a better way to put it, are on Him, we trust in Him, in His ways for us.

2. I want to be treated like someone who is trying to follow Christ's example of love, and, even, Solomon's, and, even, this is for me, Passion & Purity book by Elizabeth Elliott. And, these things will all be said to my special girl because that's a way for my being accountable to her And, when/if I deviate from that kind of thinking, or, actions, and, behavior, that she will point out, 'That's not what Jesus would do. You're not following God so well right now, young man.' I want her to prayerfully correct me so that I am doing things as He would want me to do.

3. That's a good question, too, julienannie. I'm praying that I'm just following God's will for my life as perfect as I can, trying to do things as He leads me to do things, knowing that He does correct my single self as He leads me when I deviate from His plan. The Lord leads.
I spend time in devotions daily, really trying to scrutinize the devotional Scripture as to what God's wanting me to get out of it for that day, spending a few minutes pondering it's essence. He tells me, too, as I ask Him and just go out into the world on FAITH after that And, I am preparing for, maybe, someday, a girl of His for me, if that EVER be His will, by knowing the bible as well as I can,because, I think, the knowledge of God's Word helps us understand how to treat girls best. And, once we understand the bible's biblical understanding, then, that just MIGHT be the time that God treats us to a special 'someone.'

 

[David_1]

To the original poster:

Maybe if you stop seeing people as Men or Women, and simply as 'people', things might be better.

What I've learned of many years in my relationship is this: Kindness, patience & grace are universal qualities that make an excellent partner in life!

Whether you are a woman seeking a man, or man seeking a woman.

So what am I doing, to make another person Kind, graceful or patient. Absolutely ZERO. Because that's a quality the other person will show.

I work on those things myself, without expecting anything of other people.

What I did, which was smart: Was to use discernment to NOT pick a horrible person as a partner.

My Wife's kindness, grace and patience is NOT dependent on anything I do, because it's 'unconditional'.

It probably helps, that I was under no illusion that all women are innocent flowers of pure grace.

 

[Jullianna]

To the original poster:

Maybe if you stop seeing people as Men or Women, and simply as 'people', things might be better.

This thread was not born of personal difficulties, but as a means of diffusing some of the gender wars that were taking place in the forums at the time. It is not a request for personal advice, but as general information for men/women in these forums who had these concerns at the time.

 

[biscuit]

I will pass on the survey. I believe the reason why generations x & y are having so many problems with their relationship(s) is because so many of them are depended on advice from their peers, who are likely worse off than they are. Whatever happened to the younger generations going to parents for advice. Surely, many of these parents have been married 20+ years, can give better advice than peers who don't have a clue as to what love is. My younger sister was very dependent on my mother for advice on relationships. And when she wanted a second opinion she came to me because we are just one year apart. She has been married to this day ... 38 years.

 

[Jullianna]

grrrr @ the edit thingie... defuse, not diffuse

I knew I shouldn't be posting while I'm sick *sigh*

 

[GreenNnice]

ooops, question #2 was not answered at all, really, I can see now. So......I will put all blame on my green brains for that happening, and, proceed to answer

I want girls to treat me with respect in general, that is, treat me as someone who would be going by the golden rule, too, hopefully: treat others as you would want yourself treated.
I want girls to treat me as someone who they can see loves the Lord leads me and that I can be seen loving Him, first, over other things, other choices. I want to be someone a lady can confide in if they have something heavy on their heart, and, want spiritually uplifting prayer and comment , letting her know, 'Christ is still on the throne.' Or, confide in me for little things even, something light, and, she just wants a word of encouragment.

 

[Jullianna]

I will pass on the survey. I believe the reason why generations x & y are having so many problems with their relationship(s) is because so many of them are depended on advice from their peers, who are likely worse off than they are. Whatever happened to the younger generations going to parents for advice. Surely, many of these parents have been married 20+ years, can give better advice than peers who don't have a clue as to what love is. My younger sister was very dependent on my mother for advice on relationships. And when she wanted a second opinion she came to me because we are just one year apart. She has been married to this day ... 38 years.

Because my parents and husband of 15 years are dead, as is my wonderful brother who always gave me amazing advice.