Five things I can't stand about people:
1. When people think they have the right to look at my face without complimenting it!
2. When I ask to be let in at a long line at the movie theater, but nobody tells me until after twenty minutes that I'm actually in the line up for the bathroom (some people have a very cruel sense of humor!!!).
3. When I sing at a karaoke bar and every one yells out "Swallow the microphone, it might help you sing better"
4. When a woman won't open my car door for me (hey, I'm the one that drove the car, the least she could do is open the doors).
5. When I make a list and nobody laughs at it (if you don't laugh, I'll know. I'LL KNOW!!!).
Five things I can stand about people:
1. When I'm at Dairy Queen with someone, and their Blizzard accidentally falls to the ground, and as they look at me with tears in their eyes, they still resist the temptation to ask me for some of mine (I strongly admire self-control in a person).
2. When people don't fall asleep while listening to me talk about myself for 3 hours (some people fall into a coma listening to me, but at least they give me the privilege of being the last person they ever hear talk!!!).
3. When people believe everything I write (I'm hoping "gullibility" will make a comeback as a virtue!!!).
4. I like it when people are too lazy to count (because right now I can't come up with a 5th point!!!).