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#41
#41
TearsofthePhoenix said:
I know I keep bumping this thread and I am sure I have totally talked your guys's ears off here and beyond. Today we did not goto the retreat. However we were able to sit down and make a schedule for the next two weeks in which he will stay a few nights, and be here a few nights (and mornings) and then have his own time and me mine. Its a step in a good direction I believe. Maybe soon, I will finally fit somewhere, hopefully the family forum. :)

I did take off today, go to church, talk to my therapist, visited a friend and stay there while I put my head together so I could come back and continue to try to follow my vows, my beliefs and gather strength from the Lord. Including a cleansing sobbing cry in the church where no one else was so I could give my troubles to him and continue to work on me, and be the best mom and "TotP" I can be. I am so grateful to you all. For all the different input, aspects, and making me examine things.
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If you do not wish to pursue divorce, or feel that you lack grounds. You might wish to consider remaining married but becoming legally separated. This would allow you to be shielded from the far reaching consequences of fiscal decisions he may make that could negatively affect you and the children. You could also through this benefit from a set schedule for visitation with the children and defined obligations to them (such as him providing health insurance or child support).

I may not agree with your every choice in the matter, but it sounds as though you are taking some positive steps. I pray for you and yours, my sister.

Never feel guilt about bumping your own thread when your heart (or head) says to post. Awakening old zombie threads is an all together different matter. Similarly if there is a thread that became rude or hateful, especially if one or another party expressed sincere remorse... those threads should be left to fade away.

I'm glad you are here.
 
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TearsofthePhoenix

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#42
#42
You guys are very right about the family and friends thing. My parents keep pushing me to talk to them and trying to get involved and I don't want them involved. Just today I lost my only set of car keys and my father took me to pick up my daughter from preschool... the entire way he ran on and on about how mad he is at me for this and that and that just slid into other things I apparently am totally screwing up (like my kids). Basically leaving me in tears after dropping me off (I still haven't found those keys today)... then he wonders why I avoid them when I am able, don't talk to them if I can help it, and just keep telling them we are working on it. My friends have all been supportive, those that I have here (very few who aren't super busy with their own lives).

Michigan doesn't allow legal separation, they call it separate maintenance but the couple are still not free fiscally, etc.

Ultimately what I want is I want to be married. I have always wanted a family, my life has been about these kids and my husband for so long, that I am scared, confused, mad, and so many other things. I want the man that I know he can be without all the bullsh!t that is spiraling out of the lies. Its like he is not the person I knew even 6-9 months ago (before we started having issues). I want him to be the best person he can be, I love him (and sometimes I wonder if this is foolishness and I should just close off), but I don't want the hurt and the pain anymore. I want that part to stop...
 
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#43
#43
Praying for you, for him, for the kids, and for the keys ;)
 
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TearsofthePhoenix

Guest
#44
#44
LOL keys found! At the bottom of the sock hamper I have (I pair them and dump them all in a hamper and make people go fishing). It was the last place I looked at found sometime at 8pm lol
 
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