oh god help me

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beany

Guest
#1
#1
Hello,

Found out my girlfriend has been sleeping with someone and lied to me about it for months to my face repeatedly, i gave this girl everything ive put so much effort i was exhausted before i found this out. I planned to marry this girl, im so gutted. Im so alone. I know gods with me but i just feel such pain, such betrayal so much so much....

Now im just completely ruined. Its 3:20 am i cant sleep

God please help me, im just so hurt.

The only reason i wouldnt kill myself is because i love god and i know that is a terrible sin. Im new to these boards so im sorry to bring you this im just so lost and hurting.

I could ruin her life easily but i have no desire for that. I dont want revenge i just want this pain to leave.
 
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Powemm

Guest
#2
#2
Lean not onto your own understanding but trust God.. He may be taking something out (obviously) that isn't good for your life ..as you release
It to Him he will be able to bring something better in .,
This sucks i know it, it will take some time .. Vent as much as you need.. Lifting all up pertaining to you ... stick close to god he will get you through ..,
glad youve joined us .. Welcome to cc I think you will find some great resources and people here to help get you through this tough time .. Praying for you
 
joshhuntnm

joshhuntnm

Senior Member
#3
Aug 6, 2012
427
8
18
#3
so sorry. you are not ruined. this will pass. hang in there.
 
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Catlynn

Guest
#4
#4
I am so sorry that you are going through this. To find out, not only that your gf has been cheating on you, but that she lied to you repeatedly, is absolutely devastating, I'm sure. :(
I've found that, in the middle of extreme heart break, the best, most effective thing to do is to pray for the one who hurt you. I know it sounds slightly cliche in the christian world but from my own personal experience, it was the thing that turned it all around for me. Also, talk to God about your heartache and all that you think and feel. Even the bad stuff. The bible says that He is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. He is the only one who can heal the pain and hurt that feels so very very sharp right now.
Hopefully you find some good friendships and encouragement, here on CC during this rough time in life.
 
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beany

Guest
#5
#5
Thankyou all, i know i must trust. I know the lord has something greater planned for me.

I dont know how to put this, I feel embarrassment. Im from a non christian household (non practicing roman catholic), when i told them all about being a christian and living my life a certain way They laughed at me, called me stupid . Im from a town of about 25,000 and i would be surprised if there was more than 50 single or married christian men between 20-30. Even most of my friends, im the odd one out. Im so dissapointed. My father passed away last july... my brother has lymphoma.

Catlynn thank you for your kind words and suggestions. powemm thank you i will stick to god because he is all i have.

My biggest pain is loneliness, i wanted a christian wife.

Please god i should have seen this sooner i should have acted in your signs. Im sorry lord, please help me. Please guide me. Please please take this pain from me.
 
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Duckies

Guest
#6
#6
Dear brother, do not ever feel bad about bringing this up, we are here for you! I know exactly how you are feeling right now, but i have learned that the Lord will always be watching after us.

This feeling of being alone is the feeling of something that got ripped apart from you... we hurt and feel this way as a huge void is left behind when this happens. You will feel this pain for some time, but know that as you continue to interact with God you will find that strength is given to you day by day for you to keep going... God will shape you out of this, he wont just magically remove the pain, he will provide you with everything you need to keep going and grow stronger in his name.

In the next few days you might feel guilt and even anger, and the solitude will be the enemy's key point of attack... this one has been a tough one with me because i always loved my partner very much.

You keep your head straight and aiming high, keep your self humble, you made the right choice in not taking Revenge... the Lord says that Revenge is his.. so you take this issue, and you go and tell God, here you go dear father, please take this pain and heal it for i wish to follow you and this is only causing pain.

In his name i put my sandals that he has giving me to walk this sinful grounds...
He is my food and water of my everyday...
You dear Lord are the only reason i keep breathing and moving in this world..
Amen.
 
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Powemm

Guest
#7
#7
You are not alone in what you're going through .. I came from the road you are now traveling on .. Entire roman catholic family ..I was mocked also and labeled as the black sheep.. This will pass as they become more familiar with your beliefs .. Shunned at first then tollerated , some are even looking at things differently from our discussions .. Isaiah 61..God holds "true" to His promises..I know the loneliness I went through brought ms
Closer to God because he was the only one there .. I is where your comfort and assurance will come
From... Hang on to Him.. He's doing a good work in and through you .. We are made for this :)
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#8
#8
Catlynn said:
I am so sorry that you are going through this. To find out, not only that your gf has been cheating on you, but that she lied to you repeatedly, is absolutely devastating, I'm sure. :(
I've found that, in the middle of extreme heart break, the best, most effective thing to do is to pray for the one who hurt you. I know it sounds slightly cliche in the christian world but from my own personal experience, it was the thing that turned it all around for me. Also, talk to God about your heartache and all that you think and feel. Even the bad stuff. The bible says that He is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. He is the only one who can heal the pain and hurt that feels so very very sharp right now.
Hopefully you find some good friendships and encouragement, here on CC during this rough time in life.
Click to expand...
Listen to this girl, she know's what she's talking about. I found out about my ex-wife cheating four times, caught her three times, and despite getting caught she still lied to me about it and wouldn't admit it. We were married for 5 years when this happened, so I know what you're going through, and I can say with out a doubt, she's telling you exactly what you need to do. Do not let yourself get eaten up by bitterness, forgive her. And if you still feel angry forgive her again, every time it eats you up, forgive her. That doesn't mean letting her make you her sucker and get away with whatever she wants, but it means you choose to not hold that anger against her. Learn from it, and protect yourself in the future. You'll be ok dude. Hang on to Jesus and you'll come out all the better at the other end of things.
 
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beany

Guest
#9
#9
Hello Everyone,

Thank you very much. Forgiveness is something that comes easy to me, im not going to lie there are spouts of anger and aggression. But overall even though we are over and im shattered, i only want her to find the lord.

People told me things were happening and i didn't believe them because i thought she was honest. Lied straight to my face, so so so many times...... I didn't expect that, the lies are what hurt the most.

But yes i pray for her and for me. thankyou those who have private messaged me. Its so very nice of you. My biggest problem is i have a mind that constantly goes through everything over and over and over. I would go as far as to say its not something i can control.

Thank you all. If any one else feels like talking to me that would be great. I know this is a bit attention seeking but it is so fantastic to talk to Christians.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#10
Apr 18, 2013
9,419
2,492
113
#10
Beany,

Very very sorry to hear you're going through this.
Many people here can understand, because many people here have been through the exact same thing.

This IS going to hurt.
And it's going to keep hurting for a while.

But the more you focus on God, the faster it will heal.
 
CatHerder

CatHerder

Senior Member
#11
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
#11
beany said:
Thank you all. If any one else feels like talking to me that would be great. I know this is a bit attention seeking but it is so fantastic to talk to Christians.
Click to expand...
Please don't feel bad about sharing what is going on with you. This board is often fun and games, but the main reason is to provide support and fellowship to one another. In a way, your posting this is why the board exists.
 
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psalm6819

Guest
#12
#12
God's heart is tender and compassionate, He longs to comfort you. In the middle of the night you aren't alone, He is there. Jesus knew what it was to be rejected and betrayed by a friend so He DOES understand how you feel. Reach out to Him, He will not fail you, because He loves you.
 
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Powemm

Guest
#13
#13
Checkin in on ya buddy
...
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#14
#14
So sorry for your pain. Having a place to dump it out to people who will listen and pray with you is so helpful. God is there for you, brother, and so are we.
 
Chesed

Chesed

Member
#15
Jan 5, 2010
60
8
8
#15
Beany...so sorry this has happened to you, what a painful thing. The good news is that God is healer and he can take all that pain away. I've been hurt by several people...some family, some friends sometimes it takes a little longer than we would like for the pain to go away but trust me He can take it...just keep bringing it to Him, tell Him exactly how you're feeling. Part of my testimony and why I chose to follow God is because I had a terrible relationship with my mother she really hurt me emotionally when I was growing up. I prayed to the Lord for 9 years (hopefully He wont take that long to answer you :)) and he finally did a miracle in my life and took every bit of pain and resentment toward my mom away in an instant. He is good and He knows best! Praying for you my friend!!
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#16
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#16
I'm sorry Beany. When I was your age a guy I dated for 3 years did the same thing to me. Someone he worked with told me and he admitted it. I was distraught and physically sick. I had no idea and felt so foolish. But time and God healed me. It took time for me to trust again, but it happened. I forgave him in time, but we went our separate ways.

You are not ruined and you will heal. God Bless You.
 
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beany

Guest
#17
#17
Hello All,

Thank you very much for your kindness and your prayers. Im ok at the moment although there may be a bit of calm before the storm happening....

Thank you all. If there is one thing im praying for at the moment its sleep...
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#18
#18
beany said:
Hello All,

Thank you very much for your kindness and your prayers. Im ok at the moment although there may be a bit of calm before the storm happening....

Thank you all. If there is one thing im praying for at the moment its sleep...
Click to expand...
I could come punch you in the face..... you'd forget all about your girlfriend AND fall asleep.
The lord works in mysterious ways ;)
 
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buckeyegirl700

Guest
#19
#19
Heavenly father please watch over Beany right now. God you know what he is going through. I pray Lord that you will give Beany strength to get through this. I pray that you will give him peace and help him to get a goodnights sleep. Lord I pray you will touch him right now in Jesus name. Amen.
 
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beany

Guest
#20
#20
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
I could come punch you in the face..... you'd forget all about your girlfriend AND fall asleep.
The lord works in mysterious ways ;)
Click to expand...
Hmmmm its that easy is it? *sees large tattooed bikey outside of house*

Me- "Hey do they make those bikes for men?"...

Ah sleep time...

Thanks for the suggestion and the humor... I know ill get there its just very raw.
 
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